Problems at home. . .
- Thread starter stronqerx
- Start date
ShugAvery2001
Well-known member
yeah it's rough girl.. your sister is young. So she's still bound to make mistakes. Just try to be there for her and her child. I'm a single parent. I had my daughter at 17, and believe me ..she had to grow up WITH me!
Try to be understanding. You're sister is still growing up.
Try to be understanding. You're sister is still growing up.
TISH1124
Well-known member
^^ Ditto that....My mother was 15 when she had my sister and 17 when she had me...She always says she has no idea how she would have made it without a good support system. She made dumb mistakes, bad decisions...But those mistakes are how you learn. When you know better ..you do better! Hopefully everything will work out and she will get all her priorities in tact soon. The child is really who you are helping in all of this...Innocent children deserve a chance...no matter who it is giving it to them. You are a great sister
stronqerx
Well-known member
i get what you guys are saying...and i completely agree, i do everything not for her but because of my niece. The thing that i am getting at is that shes flat out REALLY rude and mean to me. I dont know what her problem is, my mom says i should just talk to her and tell her how i feel, but i feel like even that is a waste of a time, because everytime i try to talk to her about it shes constantly on her cellphone texting ignoring me and acting like im not even there. I guess if she wants to ignore me and not talk to me for the sake of the baby i will try to be there and help her out.
User93
Well-known member
Its tough, and you are doing a great thing. I think your sister had a hard time, being separated with baby's father etc. But you know, it sounds like she just takes all you do for her for granted. I agree she's immature, but what if she "matures" when she reaches 30 years old? Until that time you gonna be babysitting HER and not being able just to study for college and get a job? I think you should talk to your parents, and honestly, since they buy baby stuff and she just wastes that money, I think she will be able to afford a babysitter. As you said, don't get sucked in that hole.
stronqerx
Well-known member
Quote:
EXACTLY ! thank you, this is what im saying. Sometimes i feel like am i really being mean? am i wrong? but i mean like i stated she has a long history of stupidity. there's a lot of things she has done (things i refuse to say because shes my sister and i love her and out of respect to her, i won't) and it seems like she never seems to change, and when she does it's for the worst. Idk what to do everyone just seems to let her slide because they feel bad for the baby, and i do too, i love my neice and i want to be there for her, but at the same thim being there for my niece is letting my sister's stupidity slide.
Originally Posted by Alibi
Its tough, and you are doing a great thing. I think your sister had a hard time, being separated with baby's father etc. But you know, it sounds like she just takes all you do for her for granted. I agree she's immature, but what if she "matures" when she reaches 30 years old? Until that time you gonna be babysitting HER and not being able just to study for college and get a job? I think you should talk to your parents, and honestly, since they buy baby stuff and she just wastes that money, I think she will be able to afford a babysitter. As you said, don't get sucked in that hole. |
EXACTLY ! thank you, this is what im saying. Sometimes i feel like am i really being mean? am i wrong? but i mean like i stated she has a long history of stupidity. there's a lot of things she has done (things i refuse to say because shes my sister and i love her and out of respect to her, i won't) and it seems like she never seems to change, and when she does it's for the worst. Idk what to do everyone just seems to let her slide because they feel bad for the baby, and i do too, i love my neice and i want to be there for her, but at the same thim being there for my niece is letting my sister's stupidity slide.
User93
Well-known member
You shouldnt feel bad or mean
I think your sister knows how the whole family feels for your niece, and just abuses it, knowing that no matter how dumb she acts and how she insults you, they baby would be taken care of. I dont think you should waste your young years on babysitting her. She had a baby when she was 23 as I understand, not 15, 17, or 21. Lots of women who became Moms at that age had a way harder living than your
sister, and there was no one helping them.
Helping her is nice, but you should start taking care of your own life, your studies, your future with bf etc. I honestly think that being a little rough with your sister and not letting "her stupidity slide" would do only a good thing for her.
I think your sister knows how the whole family feels for your niece, and just abuses it, knowing that no matter how dumb she acts and how she insults you, they baby would be taken care of. I dont think you should waste your young years on babysitting her. She had a baby when she was 23 as I understand, not 15, 17, or 21. Lots of women who became Moms at that age had a way harder living than your
sister, and there was no one helping them.
Helping her is nice, but you should start taking care of your own life, your studies, your future with bf etc. I honestly think that being a little rough with your sister and not letting "her stupidity slide" would do only a good thing for her.
anabee
New member
For starters, family should always come first. That being said, you have gone above and beyond of what should be expected of you. Your sister is jealous and immature. That is her problem, not yours. Now, think about that poor child. If the baby is being neglected that is a form of abuse and should be checked out. If your sister can't handle the baby, there are plenty of couples who would love a baby to adopt. Grandparents should help raise the baby, you should be an occasional sitter. Find out in the community if there is any form of assistance for women in her situation. I live in a small town and we have programs available, you really have to look around.
Lastly, don't put your life on hold. Attend college and enjoy these years. An engagement should be a happy time. Now is when you and your fiance get closer and look forward to your upcoming wedding.
Good luck!
Lastly, don't put your life on hold. Attend college and enjoy these years. An engagement should be a happy time. Now is when you and your fiance get closer and look forward to your upcoming wedding.
Good luck!
stronqerx
Well-known member
Quote:
you're right, thanks a lot for your words. At this point idk whats going to happen, she came back home from work right now and is really upset with me, and told me ' DONT WORRY SHES MY RESPONSIBILITY NOT YOURS', yeah glad she finally realized that.
| Originally Posted by Alibi
You shouldnt feel bad or mean
I think your sister knows how the whole family feels for your niece, and just abuses it, knowing that no matter how dumb she acts and how she insults you, they baby would be taken care of. I dont think you should waste your young years on babysitting her. She had a baby when she was 23 as I understand, not 15, 17, or 21. Lots of women who became Moms at that age had a way harder living than your sister, and there was no one helping them. Helping her is nice, but you should start taking care of your own life, your studies, your future with bf etc. I honestly think that being a little rough with your sister and not letting "her stupidity slide" would do only a good thing for her. |
you're right, thanks a lot for your words. At this point idk whats going to happen, she came back home from work right now and is really upset with me, and told me ' DONT WORRY SHES MY RESPONSIBILITY NOT YOURS', yeah glad she finally realized that.
stronqerx
Well-known member
Quote:
Thanks !!. But i have to say, the baby is not being neglected, someone is always with her, if it's not me its my parents or my sister. My parents have asked her for custody of the baby and she refuses, but regardless of what will happen i believe if worse comes to worse my neice will always be with my parents, they are willing to take responsibility for her, if things get to that point.
| Originally Posted by anabee
For starters, family should always come first. That being said, you have gone above and beyond of what should be expected of you. Your sister is jealous and immature. That is her problem, not yours. Now, think about that poor child. If the baby is being neglected that is a form of abuse and should be checked out. If your sister can't handle the baby, there are plenty of couples who would love a baby to adopt. Grandparents should help raise the baby, you should be an occasional sitter. Find out in the community if there is any form of assistance for women in her situation. I live in a small town and we have programs available, you really have to look around. Lastly, don't put your life on hold. Attend college and enjoy these years. An engagement should be a happy time. Now is when you and your fiance get closer and look forward to your upcoming wedding. Good luck! |
Thanks !!. But i have to say, the baby is not being neglected, someone is always with her, if it's not me its my parents or my sister. My parents have asked her for custody of the baby and she refuses, but regardless of what will happen i believe if worse comes to worse my neice will always be with my parents, they are willing to take responsibility for her, if things get to that point.
ShugAvery2001
Well-known member
this is just one of the side effects of single parenthood......
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. ESPECIALLY if you're not a point in your life where you're pretty much stable mentally and or is still partying kicking it or dating low lifes
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. ESPECIALLY if you're not a point in your life where you're pretty much stable mentally and or is still partying kicking it or dating low lifes
nunu
Well-known member
i think your sister is being a bit selfish and immature. You are older than her and yet acting more mature than she is. You have other things going on in your life but yet you are helping her out and she doesn't appreciate it? She needs a wake up call and to set up her prioities asap. Hang in there
stronqerx
Well-known member
Quote:
He is a low life, and im sry to say but i hope they break up soon. She was doing fine before she met him, hopefully she will ditch him and then realize her mistakes, it won't be too late, she can still be a great mami..i know she can.
| Originally Posted by ShugAvery2001
this is just one of the side effects of single parenthood...... I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. ESPECIALLY if you're not a point in your life where you're pretty much stable mentally and or is still partying kicking it or dating low lifes |
He is a low life, and im sry to say but i hope they break up soon. She was doing fine before she met him, hopefully she will ditch him and then realize her mistakes, it won't be too late, she can still be a great mami..i know she can.
stronqerx
Well-known member
Quote:
thanks a lot !
| Originally Posted by nunu
i think your sister is being a bit selfish and immature. You are older than her and yet acting more mature than she is. You have other things going on in your life but yet you are helping her out and she doesn't appreciate it? She needs a wake up call and to set up her prioities asap. Hang in there
|
thanks a lot !
TISH1124
Well-known member
Just FYI also...My sister is 2 years older than me and I love her dearly...She is the nicest person in the world...to everyone except for me...She always manages to be negative or say cruel things to me. My Mom said...she thinks my sister has always been jealous of me for some reason even from when we were kids...Now I think it is just a repeated habit that has continued through adulthood. If someone says oh I like your ring...she will say...It's nice BUT, you should have gotten yada ya...I just ignore her remarks and actions and don't let it bother me as much anymore. My dh even commented on it last week when my sis was here for Thanksgiving. He said you bought her so much stuff and she still found a way to make cruel remarks about you...I said I know but I think she just wishes her life was like mine and that is her way of justifying it in her own mind so I don't really let it bother me any more .. The comments hurt sometimes...But the reasoning I feel that is behind them...makes it less painful for me. I actually feel sorry for her because she does not have the life she wants...she has a great career but her home life is not so great....and mine is great...My dh and I are super happy and she hates that. Her husband does not shower her with the little things, and treat her like she is the world and mine does...and that is what she wants...Is it my fault...No, but I bear the grunt of it.
stronqerx
Well-known member
Quote:
This makes me sad, because she has NEVER been like this with me until recently. I don't even like to say 'shes jealous of me' because it sounds sooo stupid to me, and i cannot imagine why she would ever be. But i guess its true, i remember when i told her i got engaged to my bf of 6 yrs she just said 'Oh'. She didnt even hug me or say congrats, i felt so bad. I've cried over the ways shes been with me lately because it really sickens me that she is acting this way with me I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH, and although she has never been the smartest person, she was never mean to me and i was able to hang out with her and be best friends with her. I sometimes think she feels bad, being a single mom and i gotta say it probably is tougher then i think. She probably has a lot going on right now, and gets more frusterated when she sees her lil sister moving on...but like you said it's not our fault, we just gotta deal with it. Thanks
| Originally Posted by TISH1127
Just FYI also...My sister is 2 years older than me and I love her dearly...She is the nicest person in the world...to everyone except for me...She always manages to be negative or say cruel things to me. My Mom said...she thinks my sister has always been jealous of me for some reason even from when we were kids...Now I think it is just a repeated habit that has continued through adulthood. If someone says oh I like your ring...she will say...It's nice BUT, you should have gotten yada ya...I just ignore her remarks and actions and don't let it bother me as much anymore. My dh even commented on it last week when my sis was here for Thanksgiving. He said you bought her so much stuff and she still found a way to make cruel remarks about you...I said I know but I think she just wishes her life was like mine and that is her way of justifying it in her own mind so I don't really let it bother me any more .. The comments hurt sometimes...But the reasoning I feel that is behind them...makes it less painful for me. I actually feel sorry for her because she does not have the life she wants...she has a great career but her home life is not so great....and mine is great...My dh and I are super happy and she hates that. Her husband does not shower her with the little things, and treat her like she is the world and mine does...and that is what she wants...Is it my fault...No, but I bear the grunt of it. |
This makes me sad, because she has NEVER been like this with me until recently. I don't even like to say 'shes jealous of me' because it sounds sooo stupid to me, and i cannot imagine why she would ever be. But i guess its true, i remember when i told her i got engaged to my bf of 6 yrs she just said 'Oh'. She didnt even hug me or say congrats, i felt so bad. I've cried over the ways shes been with me lately because it really sickens me that she is acting this way with me I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH, and although she has never been the smartest person, she was never mean to me and i was able to hang out with her and be best friends with her. I sometimes think she feels bad, being a single mom and i gotta say it probably is tougher then i think. She probably has a lot going on right now, and gets more frusterated when she sees her lil sister moving on...but like you said it's not our fault, we just gotta deal with it. Thanks
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
It sounds like your sister has a lot of growing up and realizing to do.
I think your parents should probably say something about her and how she's treating you/spending her money. I understand that it's difficult and frustrating being a single mother, especially if you're young and inexperienced being a parent, but I think she's making some mistakes that she needs to fix now.
I'm a fan of talking it out. I don't think you should attack her or be sarcastic, just be honest but understanding
I think your parents should probably say something about her and how she's treating you/spending her money. I understand that it's difficult and frustrating being a single mother, especially if you're young and inexperienced being a parent, but I think she's making some mistakes that she needs to fix now.
I'm a fan of talking it out. I don't think you should attack her or be sarcastic, just be honest but understanding
stronqerx
Well-known member
Quote:
i agree, i know sometimes i can be bitchy back but its out of frustration...but i try to stay clam, she really tests me
but i will try ..thanks a lot
| Originally Posted by Beauty Mark
It sounds like your sister has a lot of growing up and realizing to do. I think your parents should probably say something about her and how she's treating you/spending her money. I understand that it's difficult and frustrating being a single mother, especially if you're young and inexperienced being a parent, but I think she's making some mistakes that she needs to fix now. I'm a fan of talking it out. I don't think you should attack her or be sarcastic, just be honest but understanding |
i agree, i know sometimes i can be bitchy back but its out of frustration...but i try to stay clam, she really tests me
couturesista
Well-known member
I understand that u want to help ur sister but at some pt it becomes enabling. She won't grow up and take care of her responsibilities if all of you are doing it for her. Its her baby not yours. As auntie ur there for added support not the entire support system. You have ur own future and responsiblities, will ur sis be able to help you if u fail ur exam, no, so u need to focus on ur goals and help out when u can not when its convenient for her.JMO
