Problems with my TA boss

[Beauty Mark]

I started grad school and am a teaching assistant (TA) for the labs. I haven't been here for two weeks at the school, and I already have problems with the woman in charge of the TAs.

She's belittled and yelled at me twice for being late/no-show for meetings. The problem is she never told me about these meetings. At all. I had originally asked her via email about who I was supposed to speak to about one of the labs. She never responded to that email but has responded to every other email before, so it's not like she isn't an email user.

The other three TAs told me that they just happened to be in the building at the time (a lot of people study at the school; I prefer to study at home) or were specifically told by her. When I asked one of the senior TAs about setup yesterday (Wednesday), he said it already happened, which he was wrong about (not purposefully, though; he's nice).

She never told me jack and honestly, I don't want to spend 12 hours a day at the school, waiting for her to decide we're having meetings.

I'm tired of being a bitch towards me, because I'm not psychic and I have asked. She claims that I haven't read the material she gave the TAs to read, but I have and there is nothing about specific meeting dates, just that you're supposed to talk to the professor/instructor to find out about set up. She's the person in charge, and I did contact her. When I point stuff out to her when she's yelling at me (mind you, I'm trying to fix the situation not make her look dumb), she doesn't listen and just keeps ranting.

Is there anything I can do besides suck it up and bear it? Quitting isn't an option, because I get free tuition and a stipend for TAing. I also don't want to get fired, if that's possible. I have to see her tomorrow, and I just need some advice for me to not cuss her out, either with swear words or in a non-swearing, condescending way.

 

[AKsnoangel]

I have been a GTA for a couple years and I have found that in academia, lots of the higher-ups are pretty absent-minded...most that I have worked with never take responsibility for that idiosyncrasy and really DO expect you to figure it out. It's like they think...it has been this way for so long; I managed to figure it out, so you should, too. I always find myself thinking, "This is ridiculous! There are so many more efficient ways to do things!" In my experience, it really does require lots of pandering to get ahead.

I would probably ask if she has a few minutes to meet with you. Tell her you feel like you may have gotten off on the wrong foot but that you take pride in your work and really want to do a good job. I would bring your orientation materials with you and ask her if there is anything specific she wants to reinforce or go over with you. Also, ask her if there is a listserv that you aren't on, which might explain why you weren't aware of meetings (even if you know there isn't one...). I dread these meetings, but they always seem to go along way to keep you in the favor of your superiors.

Keep your head up...and good luck!

 

[MACATTAK]

I'd just tell her you need to speak with her/set up a time that is convenient to speak with her. Then just calmly (as possible) go over the issues you are having. Tell her you are trying to do your job well & just need to know what she needs from you. I've had a boss from hell before & ended up leaving (thank god). Hopefully a talk with her will make her see what she is doing, but be prepared in case it doesn't.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

I have been a GTA for a couple years and I have found that in academia, lots of the higher-ups are pretty absent-minded...most that I have worked with never take responsibility for that idiosyncrasy and really DO expect you to figure it out. It's like they think...it has been this way for so long; I managed to figure it out, so you should, too. I always find myself thinking, "This is ridiculous! There are so many more efficient ways to do things!" In my experience, it really does require lots of pandering to get ahead.

I've actually experienced some forgetfulness among professors or department chairs at my undergrad school, but never were they so forgetful about things like this or as assy as this woman. You'd think I ran over her puppy the way she treats me.

 

[lara]

Are you keeping a record of events? Keep a dated list of missed meetings, times you've contacted her, printouts of emails, etc etc etc.

That way if you need to escalate it to HOD or Resources you have a log of evidence to support you.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I have everything not deleted and I know where my files are; I've been checking to make sure that I didn't miss anything.

I hope it doesn't get down to having to file a complaint, because from what everyone has told me, in academia, filing complaints about professors can be basically shooting yourself in the foot.

 

[AppleDiva]

I agree with AKsnoangel. You also need to remind her that you are an adult and should be treated as such. Yelling and belittling is totally inappropriate. You must remind her of mutual respect and devise some communication mechanism that is consistent.

 

[Kimberleigh]

My uni has a GSO (Graduate Student Organization); if yours does as well, and you continue to have issues with her this may be something you can bring up to them in case you're still have difficulty with her after meeting with her one on one.