Random Thought...Sorry

[jaysgirl]

So I was out cleaning my horses stalls when I thought about something that drives me absolutely insane! I've had several exes who used to complain about how if they stayed with me, they'd get stuck paying for my "expensive horse hobby". That drives me nuts! WHEN THE HELL DID I EVER ASK YOU TO PAY FOR MY HORSES?????

1) I pay for my horses and never once have I asked for your help
2) It's more than a hobby, it makes me happy
3) I never complained about potentially being stuck supporting your expensive habits

Sorry about that. It just really aggravated me when I thought about it.


Disclaimer: I'm not man bashing. I really do love my bf even though he's a royal pain in my ass.

 

[jaysgirl]

Oh yeah and he's not the one who pulled that shit!


So tell me what you think ladies. Any ass ever tried that shit with you?

 

[nelyanaphonexia]

I've had that happen before. When I lived on the coast one of my hobbies was surfing and my boyfriends always said they hated the fact that surfing was a pretty expensive hobby to keep up. So they felt that they couldn't buy me any gifts without it costing them bundles of cash. I think it was their way of complaining without thinking through what they were really trying to say. :shrug: Or maybe a way out of ever buying me a b-day gift. Ha.

On the other hand, it seems unfair if you weren't asking them to pay for anything and just stating that they don't like your "horse hobby" because it's expensive. If you are paying for all of your own stuff, then how can they complain? Seems like an unfair call to me.

I'm about to get married to a wonderful man who has some hella expensive hobbies. He not only has a LOVE of sports cars, he is kind of a computer geek who always has to have up and coming technology/computers. I have hobbies that are expensive: MAC, surfing, horses!, art (you wouldn't believe what it costs to be an artist!) and we share our love of cars.

In our relationship, we realize that it's a give and take between our interests. We can't always expect the other to dish out hard earned funds for one another's hobbies. So, we keep our spending in check, and trade off who gets to buy :supplies" for their hobbies each month.

If a guy is thinking that he is going to get stuck paying for everything, not only does that display a lack of maturity and a unwillingness to work things out, it doesn't sound like he was a very good boyfriend to start with.He sounds kind of selfish to me.

Maybe it's because I've heard that from other girls that I know, and it always ends up being something like: I don't wanna pay for your stuff because mine comes first.

So, really it's about balance and being willing to compromise and work things out, oh and being somewhat unselfish. I say when you find the right guy, he won't say things like that because he will know that you will either support your own horse hobby or you guys will balance out your hobbies evenly.

Hope this helped and sprry for being long winded.

 

[TISH1124]

You know, now you got me thinking....And you are about to get my dh in trouble I do believe

Before we got married he helped me pay for everything without me even asking...He would say is today your nail day...and just leave money on the table...etc... Honey do you have money, Do you need anything...He would take my car and get it detailed when it was dirty without me even asking, fill it up with gas.....But now...that we are married....I have to constantly say...My car needs washing...My oil needs changing...Leave me money for the nail shop....Can you please fill my car up before you leave...

Bastard ...I'm gonna wake his a** up right now and find out" what tha goings on is!!! What the hell is wrong with this picture...

Same things it took to get me...It takes to keep me...


I don't have no real expensive hobbies so I am of no help...But you have helped me...On my way to Kick his a**

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

Think of it this way, if they are stupid enough to think that, its better off they leave before they assume other things that could lead to more drama and potential problems.

 

[jaysgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 You know, now you got me thinking....And you are about to get my dh in trouble I do believe Before we got married he helped me pay for everything without me even asking...He would say is today your nail day...and just leave money on the table...etc... Honey do you have money, Do you need anything...He would take my car and get it detailed when it was dirty without me even asking, fill it up with gas.....But now...that we are married....I have to constantly say...My car needs washing...My oil needs changing...Leave me money for the nail shop....Can you please fill my car up before you leave... Bastard ...I'm gonna wake his a** up right now and find out" what tha goings on is!!! What the hell is wrong with this picture... Same things it took to get me...It takes to keep me... I don't have no real expensive hobbies so I am of no help...But you have helped me...On my way to Kick his a**

You are too funny!

 

[banjobama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 You know, now you got me thinking....And you are about to get my dh in trouble I do believe Before we got married he helped me pay for everything without me even asking...He would say is today your nail day...and just leave money on the table...etc... Honey do you have money, Do you need anything...He would take my car and get it detailed when it was dirty without me even asking, fill it up with gas.....But now...that we are married....I have to constantly say...My car needs washing...My oil needs changing...Leave me money for the nail shop....Can you please fill my car up before you leave... Bastard ...I'm gonna wake his a** up right now and find out" what tha goings on is!!! What the hell is wrong with this picture... Same things it took to get me...It takes to keep me... I don't have no real expensive hobbies so I am of no help...But you have helped me...On my way to Kick his a**

I have the SAME problem! I'll ask my husband sometimes, "why don't you do this or that like you used to?" and he acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. They are just lazy once they get what they want.

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaysgirl You are too funny!

Well he would like me to thank you for helping him get his ass smacked last night!! Not in a good way

He said, You're right...I need to do better! We will see how long that lasts...
You think maybe he just said that because I woke him out of a deep sleep and I was shinning the flashlight in his one eye that I was forcing open

by thumb and index!

 

[jaysgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 Well he would like me to thank you for helping him get his ass smacked last night!! Not in a good way He said, You're right...I need to do better! We will see how long that lasts... You think maybe he just said that because I woke him out of a deep sleep and I was shinning the flashlight in his one eye that I was forcing open by thumb and index!

Ok so I've been home sick for the last several days and you've had me laughing so hard this morning I think it made me allll better!!!!

And I need to take some lessons from you on getting what I want from my bf.

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaysgirl Ok so I've been home sick for the last several days and you've had me laughing so hard this morning I think it made me allll better!!!! And I need to take some lessons from you on getting what I want from my bf.

Glad I could help at my dh's expense....We will be married 2 years on 11/24...Thought I better nip this behavior in the butt before I'm fully vested

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

I don't think it's fair for men to assume they'll be the breadwinner and automatically get "stuck" paying for things for us.

I'm having financial trouble right now because I'm in school and can't work as much, and I missed an entire pay period of work because I had an operation. So my boyfriend has helped out, but he doesn't gripe about it and I don't expect money from him. And I could never imagine myself getting angry or annoyed if he didn't pay for things for me.

I get my own nails done, I get my own hair done, I buy my own clothes, my own makeup and whatever I need. Yeah it's nice if he wants to treat me to something, but I don't expect it. I'll admit I'm rather spoiled by him, but I'm grateful, I don't wait for gifts to fall on me. So he knows I don't have a habit for him to "get stuck" with.

I think it's selfish for anybody to assume they'll be somehow forced to carry someone else's financial weight for any reason; it's a sure sign they think too damn highly of themselves, IMO.

 

[AimeeL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 Well he would like me to thank you for helping him get his ass smacked last night!! Not in a good way He said, You're right...I need to do better! We will see how long that lasts... You think maybe he just said that because I woke him out of a deep sleep and I was shinning the flashlight in his one eye that I was forcing open by thumb and index!

Bwahahaha...you are so freaking hilarious, I almost snorted coke out of my nose picturing you doing this. My husband would sock me without realizing if I woke him out of a deep sleep, and then he'd feel SO BAD, hah.

 

[TISH1124]

Yep...I love the fact that I can spoil myself and my husband can too....Call it what you want...But I don't have one problem with it and nor does he. Because his money is my money and vice versa...so it's all coming out the same pot in the end....I spoil him and he spoils me...

My dh is the breadwinner in our house and I will never make as much as him unless I hit a small lottery ...so it is what it is...In my house it's called Our Marriage and it works for us and it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks.
As my dh says...If you like it I love it! And I like it.
I absolutley think Highly of myself...and everyone should...It's called Self Esteem and thereis nothing unfair about that!

 

[Lapis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 You know, now you got me thinking....And you are about to get my dh in trouble I do believe Before we got married he helped me pay for everything without me even asking...He would say is today your nail day...and just leave money on the table...etc... Honey do you have money, Do you need anything...He would take my car and get it detailed when it was dirty without me even asking, fill it up with gas.....But now...that we are married....I have to constantly say...My car needs washing...My oil needs changing...Leave me money for the nail shop....Can you please fill my car up before you leave... Bastard ...I'm gonna wake his a** up right now and find out" what tha goings on is!!! What the hell is wrong with this picture... Same things it took to get me...It takes to keep me... I don't have no real expensive hobbies so I am of no help...But you have helped me...On my way to Kick his a**

LOL we had this convo in my house last Nov, I was like you need to step up and he tries, as I'm a sahm that means alot cause I used to make more than him now I make 0.00, lol
But you do have to let them know from time to time, hey you better treat me right!!!

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lapis LOL we had this convo in my house last Nov, I was like you need to step up and he tries, as I'm a sahm that means alot cause I used to make more than him now I make 0.00, lol But you do have to let them know from time to time, hey you better treat me right!!!

I know girl right..I am a SAHM now too....1st time I haven't worked in 20+ years .. But it is so rewarding...and it was what he wanted so here I am...It has taken a lot of getting used to though...I still work for him...doing all the paperwork for the business..I just don't get the check with my name on it...

Oh wait I do get my tiny lil tutoring check...Thats a laugh!!

 

[iheartcolor]

What is it with men hating on girls and their horses?! I think they are jealous

Who doesn't love mucking a stall at 6 am? I would kill to have that opportunity......but for now I just play with my Breyers! LOL

-Lauren

 

[TISH1124]

^^ Are Breyers the collectors horses .. I hear my friend talking abut Breyers all the time

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AimeeL Bwahahaha...you are so freaking hilarious, I almost snorted coke out of my nose picturing you doing this. My husband would sock me without realizing if I woke him out of a deep sleep, and then he'd feel SO BAD, hah.

I asked my dh this morning (while he was awake, no flashlight)....I said Honey, do you have a problem taking care of me and doing things for me, am I a burden...He said "Why would I, You're my wife and I love doing things for you!" So I went on to tell him about this discussion on the board...He said Listen as long as you take care of your baby (him)...I will always take care of you, we're a team...then he walked away and came back and said ...Stay off that damn board"

I thought you said it was about makeup anyway!
He'll be trying to be nosey now and see what the board is about now !

 

[jaysgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by iheartcolor What is it with men hating on girls and their horses?! I think they are jealous Who doesn't love mucking a stall at 6 am? I would kill to have that opportunity......but for now I just play with my Breyers! LOL -Lauren

This is going to sound so ridiculous but I've rarely met a man who wasn't jealous of the horses. Maybe bc they get so much of my attention. Oh well. I'm not gonna change.

And anytime you want to muck stalls you let me know! haha. I could use a day off

 

[jaysgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 ^^ Are Breyers the collectors horses .. I hear my friend talking abut Breyers all the time

Yeah. They always have special edition ones coming out and they do a lot of molds of actual famous horses.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 I asked my dh this morning (while he was awake, no flashlight)....I said Honey, do you have a problem taking care of me and doing things for me, am I a burden...He said "Why would I, You're my wife and I love doing things for you!" So I went on to tell him about this discussion on the board...He said Listen as long as you take care of your baby (him)...I will always take care of you, we're a team...then he walked away and came back and said ...Stay off that damn board" I thought you said it was about makeup anyway! He'll be trying to be nosey now and see what the board is about now !

Can you and your hubby please move to Jersey??? I think the two of you have got to sound like the funniest, most down to earth people ever! I told my bf about you shining the flashlight in your hubby's eyes and I told him to get his shit together or I'll do the same and he just laughed at me! He doesn't know yet, but I'm serious