Should I go into it?

[OfficerJenny]

okay so I'm young (17) but I don't care

I met this guy a few years ago and we casually talked but now things are kinda getting heated. Heres the interesting and unsettling backstory of it.

Freshman year of HS, around october, (I'm a junior now) I meet this guy, A. A is dating B for an extended period of time, 6 months to a year, I'm not sure.
Me and A are into eachother and kind of seeing eachother but not doing anything. He wants to date me but I tell him not unless he ends it with B. He says he's going to blahblah. We continue to hang out and talk. He starts doing more with me, holding hands, trying to kiss me, etc. I keep telling him not unless he's done with B. This goes on till late december/early january.

Sometime in January I get a message from A saying "call me, we need to talk". So I call him, and it's A and B both on a 2 way call, now with me. A and B are sobbing and it turns out B read A and my myspace messages with eachother. A is now lying to B about me, saying I was pressuing A to do things and blahblah. I tell B straight up everything that happened, and that A is lying to your face right now. After a maybe, 15 minute phone call, I hang up.

fastforward to around May of that year, B messages me thanking me for telling him everything A did, and basically helping him realize that A was horrible for B and didn't respect him.
B and I start casually talking every once in a while on myspace/aim. Just like "hey how are you" kind of talks. maybe once every 2 or 3 months.

Well about 3 months ago, I get a message from B and we start talking and decide to hang out. We never do.

like 2 weeks ago I get a message from him saying we need to hang out, and we do.

Basically he came over and we played video games and talked and lay in bed and it kinda turns into more of a date than a hang out. It went perfect, no silences nothing awkward like that.

Well we haven't really talked or hung out since then, which isn't what worries me.
What I'm worried about is that he could just be in it to "get back" at me, or for sex or something, because we haven't talked much. And regardless of what his intentions are, I'm really starting to feel the guilt I never did about the whole triangle that happened like 2 years ago.
so I know it's been like no time at all but I'm just all asdfx_x and x_x and I don't know what to dooooooo, and it's horrible cause I do have strong feelings for him and I hate it .-.

Sorry for such a long post. I just really needed to vent

oh and forgot to add, B and A still talk. and B told me that he would literally drive all the way to As house just to hug him/talk to him if he needed it. (like 20 minute+drive)

 

[blindpassion]

Chad, you didn't do anything wrong the first time around, you shouldn't feel guilt. You told A that you weren't willing to pursue anything with him unless he was honest, and that was the best thing you could have done

Do what your heart tells you too, you don't owe anyone anything. Just be careful and take it slow, and make sure B is being truthful about everything. Theres always the chance hes in it for less then an honest reason. You've got to be careful about the issues with A that could and will follow. Just be careful and use your head, you're a smart guy you will be fine!

 

[M.A.C. head.]

I wouldn't.

It's sort of a set up for MAJOR drama.

 

[iadoremac]

I think you should forget about both of them A obviously was never that into you or he would have left B a long time ago and B is obviously confused and the situation has messy written all over it.
Verdict: You deserve and can do better!

 

[OfficerJenny]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blindpassion Chad, you didn't do anything wrong the first time around, you shouldn't feel guilt. You told A that you weren't willing to pursue anything with him unless he was honest, and that was the best thing you could have done Do what your heart tells you too, you don't owe anyone anything. Just be careful and take it slow, and make sure B is being truthful about everything. Theres always the chance hes in it for less then an honest reason. You've got to be careful about the issues with A that could and will follow. Just be careful and use your head, you're a smart guy you will be fine!

I forgot to mention in the initial message. I talked to B about it a little bit, just saying that I am generally a worried person and I am a bit scared that he may be in it for alternative reasons other then to be with me.
He told me that he would be willing to take it slow, step by step, to show that he isn't trying to hurt me or scare me. But I still don't know .-.

Quote:

Originally Posted by iadoremac I think you should forget about both of them A obviously was never that into you or he would have left B a long time ago and B is obviously confused and the situation has messy written all over it. Verdict: You deserve and can do better!

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. I wouldn't. It's sort of a set up for MAJOR drama.

I definitely agree that the outcome could be extremely dramatic, especially with A still being slightly in the picture. I'm willing to risk that if B is being genuine, though.

 

[jenntoz]

This just sounds like it could get really bad, I'd stay away from the both of them. It might be hard to stay away, but it could be a lot worse in the future if you get you head & heart involved further

 

[ImMACnificent]

Bottom line-- you are too good for this guy and all that drama

 

[blindpassion]

Quote:

Originally Posted by OfficerJenny I forgot to mention in the initial message. I talked to B about it a little bit, just saying that I am generally a worried person and I am a bit scared that he may be in it for alternative reasons other then to be with me. He told me that he would be willing to take it slow, step by step, to show that he isn't trying to hurt me or scare me. But I still don't know .-.

Go with your gut! You have good instincts. If even a little bit of you is worried and is saying "this isnt the right thing to do" then don't do it!

 

[anita22]

It sounds like the main thing you need reassurance on is the question of whether B's motives are genuine or not. And I think the only way to get a real answer to that question is to let him prove to you (slowly) that his feelings are genuine. So I say, go for it. Nothing risked, nothing gained.

But hey, I'm a sucker for romance...

 

[xsavagex]

Hrmm sounds like a tough situation. From what i can tell from your post you seem like a lovely guy, and i dont think you deserve to be hurt.
I reckon stay away from both of them. Just try to forget them if you can, and move on to guys who are more deserving of you!

I dont think you should take the risk with B incase he's just doing it to get revenge or to screw you around.

Goodluck

 

[LMD84]

i'm another one for saying forget about both of them. even if right now b is taking it slow with you and being honest. if he's still in contact with a and still has such a connection that he'd drop things to take a drive just for a hug from a, that says to me that there is still some deep rooted feelings between a and b. even if they don't realise it yet.

so personally i'd forget it, beacuse there is nothing to say that 2 months or so down the line a and b don't get involved again and once again you'd be in a triangle. you deserve better than that

 

[OfficerJenny]

Thanks everyone for your responses

Ughhh feelings. They kill me

 

[couturesista]

Cut them both off, in the long run its going to be drama. Good Luck!

 

[kaliraksha]

I'm a big believer in just going for what your gut tells you and accept early on that if it's a mistake well you live and learn. You can't live your life in fear.

But, this is the one thing that would sway my gut from a "yes!":

Quote:

Originally Posted by OfficerJenny oh and forgot to add, B and A still talk. and B told me that he would literally drive all the way to As house just to hug him/talk to him if he needed it. (like 20 minute+drive)

For me, that's too close for an ex to be.

 

[OfficerJenny]

Well, lucky for me, he ended up spontaneously ignoring my existence. I didn't have to distance myself from him cause he did it himself 8D

 

[caffn8me]

That sounds like the best possible result! What will you do when he calls you again in the future though? I'd say you should ignore him. You really can find someone so much better - because you're worth it

 

[OfficerJenny]

I wouldn't ignore him, but I wouldn't exactly be friendly, either

 

[TISH1124]

I believe in following your heart....It may lead you in the wrong directions sometimes...But learn from the experience and when you know better you do better. Just make sure all the decisions you make have YOUR best interest at heart first and foremost...Take it slow and keep both eyes and ears wide open. I think you have good judgment and you will know if it stinks or if you like the smell of the whole situation...
Always remember when it comes to matters of the heart.....Protect yours as best you can...but don't stop loving or living because you are afraid it may hurt...It will always hurt at some point even in happy marriages...Yep I'm a witness.

 

[blindpassion]

Tish is exactly right... you'll never learn or grow or experience as a person if you're always afraid of the hurt and the pain, sometimes you just need to jump into it... it will help you grow for the best in the end.

 

[Lauren1981]

yeah i wouldn't get into it. it's just a shitload of drama waiting to happen. and the fact that they still talk?? major red flag. like, if they talk, does B tell A about when you two hang out??
it's just all wrong and suspect. and not that they're plotting on you or anythng but almost like maybe B is using you to get back at A which is the only explanation i see for him trying to get all up on you and he still talks to A.

i see you posted this a few weeks ago and you prob hav the situation figured out already i just wanted to leave my two cents

hope it all works out sweetie!!