crystalclear
Well-known member
Okay, should warn anyone who reads this that this is likely to be long and a bit depressing, but any opinions anyone has might be useful and will be appreciated.
For a long time I've been overweight, since I was about 12 or 13 (now 23), fortunately I was 5"7 by that point and was basically fully developed at that point and could easily pass myself off for 16/17 years old. Unfortunately, the girls in my school were just that, girls and had yet to hit the final growth spurt etc and I looked and felt really out of place and believe me they did everything they could to compound this and I ended up eating alot and throwing up all the time, which came to a stop when some of the prefects noticed that I'd always be in the toilets being sick when I was meant to be in classes (to cut a long story short they told the head of year who told my parents they went ballistic, made me agree to stop it and they watched me like a hawk for a long time). I stopped being sick but not the bingeing and now a decade on I still have the same eating habits and haven't done any real exercise since I was like 15. This is very obvious and have been told by the GPs that I have to lose weight or I'll be very ill in the future.
Thing is I really want to lose weight, I want to be able to walk in to Debenhams or John Lewis and buy a dress in a normal size and be confident that it'll fit or if not get the size above and it not be a big deal. I want to walk in to a changing room and try something on and not feel totally sick and go out to a bar or nightclub and not feel on edge and as if I'm about to be publically humiliated. I tried to talk to my parents about this many times all they say is "eat less, exercise more" as if I hadn't thought of that or tried it. Tried the doctors and everytime they give me the same healthy eating leaflet and suggest I join a gym, I always give it a go hoping it will work this time but it never does. And all the gyms I've been in to have been full of thin women in leotards who have never been fat and I end up not going back. After each of these failures I end up hating myself a little bit more than I already did. I'm rarely actually physically hungry but I just compulsively need to eat, esp when I'm upset, lonely or bored which is most of the time.
As a result I have the social skills and charm of an empty packet of crisps, avoid people even when it is necessary to speak to people I dont know and I'm so awkward I just come accross as incredibly weird. I just don't know what to do any more, I need to do something quickly if I'm to have any chance of having a normal life and saving the little remaining sanity I still have left.
Not sure what I hope to achieve with this post but I suppose it's if anyone one has been through similar or knows anyone who has what did they do?
For a long time I've been overweight, since I was about 12 or 13 (now 23), fortunately I was 5"7 by that point and was basically fully developed at that point and could easily pass myself off for 16/17 years old. Unfortunately, the girls in my school were just that, girls and had yet to hit the final growth spurt etc and I looked and felt really out of place and believe me they did everything they could to compound this and I ended up eating alot and throwing up all the time, which came to a stop when some of the prefects noticed that I'd always be in the toilets being sick when I was meant to be in classes (to cut a long story short they told the head of year who told my parents they went ballistic, made me agree to stop it and they watched me like a hawk for a long time). I stopped being sick but not the bingeing and now a decade on I still have the same eating habits and haven't done any real exercise since I was like 15. This is very obvious and have been told by the GPs that I have to lose weight or I'll be very ill in the future.
Thing is I really want to lose weight, I want to be able to walk in to Debenhams or John Lewis and buy a dress in a normal size and be confident that it'll fit or if not get the size above and it not be a big deal. I want to walk in to a changing room and try something on and not feel totally sick and go out to a bar or nightclub and not feel on edge and as if I'm about to be publically humiliated. I tried to talk to my parents about this many times all they say is "eat less, exercise more" as if I hadn't thought of that or tried it. Tried the doctors and everytime they give me the same healthy eating leaflet and suggest I join a gym, I always give it a go hoping it will work this time but it never does. And all the gyms I've been in to have been full of thin women in leotards who have never been fat and I end up not going back. After each of these failures I end up hating myself a little bit more than I already did. I'm rarely actually physically hungry but I just compulsively need to eat, esp when I'm upset, lonely or bored which is most of the time.
As a result I have the social skills and charm of an empty packet of crisps, avoid people even when it is necessary to speak to people I dont know and I'm so awkward I just come accross as incredibly weird. I just don't know what to do any more, I need to do something quickly if I'm to have any chance of having a normal life and saving the little remaining sanity I still have left.
Not sure what I hope to achieve with this post but I suppose it's if anyone one has been through similar or knows anyone who has what did they do?
