Sorry, I have to let this out!!

[christina83]

hey all, im gonna have a little moan about something now and im feeling really low at the moment too,so here goes!
I've been with my fiance for 3years now, and hes always been friends with this girl.I wasnt jelous or upset about this girl until i met her father (and their big house),anyway i always feel like this girl has a hold on my fiance and his mates (as they all seem to do what she wants).
I went to her party once and she totally ignored me and sat next to my fiance showing him pictures of herself when she was a baby and stuff.
Then we all went back to her house where her father kept going on about how I'd spoilt his hopes of my fiance and his daughter getting togther (i recently found out that "her" then boyfriend was upset about what her father said).
Anyway it so happened that a rumour spread saying i hated her bla bla bla....
Ive been to two more parties that shes been at, and I'm always left out of everything, and only seem to be welcomed by my fiances male friends, all the girls dont say a word to me, even when i said "hi", and this summer i have to go on holiday for a week with them all and I'm pretty shy and wont know how to act with them all.
My fiance and all his friends all come from a different town to me and I'd never met any of them before.
I know this girl is a bitch, but my fiance thinks im being odd, and i dont really know what to do?!?!
sorry for ranting on so much, its just i had to let it out.
and sorry if i havent made much sense

 

[velvet]

eep well is there anyway you can voice your concerns or have you tried all the ways you could? something like this could drive a serious wedge between you and him. if he really cares he would help you through this

 

[Shimmer]

if you HAVE to go on holiday with them, the best thing you can do is be polite and nice to her and everyone else. Never let them see you sweat, and never give them a reason to wag tongues.

 

[TRES TEAL]

shimmer gave the best advice , but if i was in this positon , i would tell my fiance that im not spending anymore time around a woman who wants to be a bitch to me and i refuse to go, so either stay with me, or go alone and dont speak to me untill im done being angry about this.... but i am definately not recomending u do this at all, lol, it will prolly just make everyone more mad. i think shimmers answer was more the direction u should aim for.

 

[Shimmer]

yeah ultimatums are generally bad.
I have to be honest and say that I would question why he is so close with someone who is apparently an ex, but that would be a discussion for another day IMO.
I don't believe in denigrating ANYONE'S relationship, however, at the point in time you're comfortable doing so, perhaps you need to have a sitdownandtalk with him regarding this issue and how it makes you feel.
Be prepared, however, for hte negative response, and be assured in what ever decision you make, so if it DOES come to him saying "nope, she and I are friends deal with it" and you've said that if they're friends and he doesn't end that you're leaving, you're prepared to do so.
Good luck.

 

[christina83]

thanx for the advice everyone

I think I'm just going to go on this holiday and if she isnt polite to me when im trying to be polite,everyone can see for themselves what shes really like!hehe!
Its maybe that I'm abit envious too!Im not having any job luck lately, all my friends have moved away,and shes got 2 jobs, goes to university,has a brand new car (when I cant even afford to drive, plus I'm too unconfident to learn) and she makes me feel like a loser.
Shes not an EX to my fiance,he says he doesnt think shes pretty or attractive, but she seems to get my fiances and his friends attention all the time,and throws a tantrum if she doesnt have her own way!
I just know that my fiance is trying to force me to have a friendship with her, that isnt going to happen and it makes me mad that hes been trying me to have one with her for almost 3years now.
I think alot of women can sense a bitchy woman a mile off, and I sense that shes bitchy and not a nice person, but my fiance thinks im just being nasty.
anyway
Thank you all for your advice

 

[Hawkeye]

Heres a question for ya

Do you feel that there may be something more to their "friendship" than what your fiance is letting you believe? I mean in your gut do you think there maybe something else there?

 

[Chelly]

wow your fiance doesnt notice this shit? i'd be kicking my boyfriends ass if he told me i was being nasty - tell him he should pay more attention to how peopel act - and THEN decide whos being nasty!!

 

[christina83]

Nah, theres nothing between them never has been,i know that, if there was he'd be dumped, hehe!!
She acts so nice to him and all his friends that he doesnt notice it, and I dont know why!
He doesnt see her or talk to her for months,and usually only see's her when his group of school friends get togther, or when her father asks him to do a building job for him or something.Its just i hate that he doesnt realise what a cow she can be. However he did say she wasnt very nice the other week because she was expecting everyone to do everything for her and didnt ask what anyone wanted, so I think he saw a side to her then that he hadnt seen before.
Its just his other female friends from school are nice, but shes not and he knows I like his other friends and get on with them quite well!
Men...