Soul Mates

[ElectroCute]

Do you think you've found your soul mate? Now, before you start to say "This should be in the relationships sub-forum!" I'll elaborate. I don't just mean in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, but friends and best friends as well. Everyone I know seems to have an extremely close best friend and/or boyfriend who they can do everything with and have so much in common with, but I don't seem to have anything in common with anyone. I end up doing things by myself all the time because I'm the only one interested in it. Does anyone else have this problem, or have suggestions?

 

[ratmist]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectroCute Do you think you've found your soul mate? Now, before you start to say "This should be in the relationships sub-forum!" I'll elaborate. I don't just mean in terms of boyfriend/girlfriend, but friends and best friends as well. Everyone I know seems to have an extremely close best friend and/or boyfriend who they can do everything with and have so much in common with, but I don't seem to have anything in common with anyone. I end up doing things by myself all the time because I'm the only one interested in it. Does anyone else have this problem, or have suggestions?

Approximately how old are you? I always felt alone as a child and teenager. I didn't get along with most other kids at school, and only had one or two friends growing up. It wasn't until I went to college that I started meeting people who were similar to me and had similar interests. I don't know about soul mates... people change and grow throughout their lives. Someone you think of as a soul mate may end up being someone you don't really care about later, for whatever reason.

 

[tricky]

I don't believe in soul mates. That being said, yeah I have met people who I have really clicked with who I have a lot in common with. I was also one of those people who didn't have a ton of friends in grade school. I started to make more friends in high school, but those relationships didn't last. But, I feel like as an adult I've finally met some people who I'll be friends with for a very long time.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I also echo ratmist in wondering how old you are. Have you left your hometown and gone to higher education of some kind?

I had friendships I thought were in close when I was in high school, but truth be told, they were fairly shallow.

I think the best way to meet people is do stuff you're interested in. Talk to people in your classes, join activities, etc.

I don't personally believe in the concept of soul mates or a person who can fulfill all my needs. I have a lot! It's a lot to ask out of anyone. I do, however, have amazing friends and a good boyfriend who all collectively fulfill my needs

 

[lainz]

i honestly felt like one of my best friends and i were soul mates...i actually still do.

when we first met...9 years ago in PE class...we were running on the track together and we were commenting to each other how we both feel like we've known each other a long time. we instantly became best friends, and even though we live a 7 hour-long drive away from each other, every time we see each other its back to how things used to be in the beginning.

as far as not having anyone to share your interests with.... honestly its a hard thing to find in this day and age where people are becoming more self-centered and definitely not altruistic. maybe its also that you are keeping your guard up and not allowing yourself to experience people in your surroundings. i would give everyone a chance to get to know you and don't worry about immediately establishing a deep connection with them. just let go, have fun and a great friendship will come to you

 

[NadiaD]

Its a tricky one. I beleive in soulmates, but in a slightly different perspective to most people. I will try to explain.

I do not beleive anyone has just 'one' soulmate for life - you are many different people throughout your life time, and finding that one person who grows and changes at the same rate and in the same direction as you is nigh on impossible. I think that you meet a succession of 'soulmates'. Like the girl you shared you teaparties with when you were 4 ,but stopped talking to at 11 because she went to a different secondary school. Do you see what I mean? A person you click with that well only comes along very very rarely so should be treasured and not protract that relationship because that would just ruin it.

I neverhad many friends growing up, I still don't infact - I prefer my own company (some people are like that lol). I found though, that once you stop worrying about the fact that people arent close enough, you dont know enough people or whatever, you start making a lot more friends and stuff because you are more relaxed. Maybe thats what it is - you need to relax and stop worrying and people will see what a lovely person you are and come to you.

Just my opinion!

Nadia x

 

[User93]

YouTube - Chris rock on sole mates

i dont think soul mate means you have absolutely the same interests, but there are some big important things for you in which you are the same, your view on life, on future, on relationship, sharing the same sense of humour, just feeling good together. You can also have absolutely opposite interests, and feel like soulmates.
As for friends, i love em all, my girls are really different from each other, of course we have lots of things in common, still, we learn from each other. There is no need in being similar, they love me as i am and vise-versa. Also, im a pretty much independent person, i can easily stay on my own w/o "someone being around", i love just sitting back, doing my stuff on the pc, reading, studing etc. I dont see "ending up doimg something alone" like a problem, if i want/have to do it, there i go! Still, time with friends is always great.
As for guys, i feel i found a real soul mate (no, i dont agree with chris rock lol), it feels so good, knowing we have lots of things in common, even little ones, tho there are obvious differes aswell (omg i gonna write yall a really long crazy post in relationship thread)

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NadiaD Its a tricky one. I beleive in soulmates, but in a slightly different perspective to most people. I will try to explain. I do not beleive anyone has just 'one' soulmate for life - you are many different people throughout your life time, and finding that one person who grows and changes at the same rate and in the same direction as you is nigh on impossible. I think that you meet a succession of 'soulmates'. Like the girl you shared you teaparties with when you were 4 ,but stopped talking to at 11 because she went to a different secondary school. Do you see what I mean? A person you click with that well only comes along very very rarely so should be treasured and not protract that relationship because that would just ruin it. I neverhad many friends growing up, I still don't infact - I prefer my own company (some people are like that lol). I found though, that once you stop worrying about the fact that people arent close enough, you dont know enough people or whatever, you start making a lot more friends and stuff because you are more relaxed. Maybe thats what it is - you need to relax and stop worrying and people will see what a lovely person you are and come to you. Just my opinion! Nadia x

I agree with you.

 

[HeavenLeiBlu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NadiaD Its a tricky one. I beleive in soulmates, but in a slightly different perspective to most people. I will try to explain. I do not beleive anyone has just 'one' soulmate for life - you are many different people throughout your life time, and finding that one person who grows and changes at the same rate and in the same direction as you is nigh on impossible. I think that you meet a succession of 'soulmates'. Like the girl you shared you teaparties with when you were 4 ,but stopped talking to at 11 because she went to a different secondary school. Do you see what I mean? A person you click with that well only comes along very very rarely so should be treasured and not protract that relationship because that would just ruin it. I neverhad many friends growing up, I still don't infact - I prefer my own company (some people are like that lol). I found though, that once you stop worrying about the fact that people arent close enough, you dont know enough people or whatever, you start making a lot more friends and stuff because you are more relaxed. Maybe thats what it is - you need to relax and stop worrying and people will see what a lovely person you are and come to you. Just my opinion!

I wonder if I should charge you rent for that space in my head you occupied! LOL

 

[kaliraksha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I had friendships I thought were in close when I was in high school, but truth be told, they were fairly shallow. I don't personally believe in the concept of soul mates or a person who can fulfill all my needs. I have a lot! It's a lot to ask out of anyone. I do, however, have amazing friends and a good boyfriend who all collectively fulfill my needs

I agree with these two statements. I thought I found friends forever- through thick and thin, but I was wrong.

Although, my significant other is a lot of things to me in my life. I know it's unreasonable to ask him to be everything. So, collectively all the people in my life fulfill my needs as well.

Now, I'm not saying I am denying that the concept of "soul mates" exist, but I do know that I haven't met that person and I'm set to marry the guy I'm with. I just think if it's one person then the chances of finding them seem ridiculously impossible.

It's almost an Economics principle if you let lots of different people fulfill different needs you have the best chance of not being disappointed and instead happy. Diversify your portfolio! The best way to find people that are into what you're in is to join specific interest groups.

 

[ElectroCute]

I suppose I'll have to answer the age thing... I'm 15, which I hate to admit because that makes me feel like I'm being such a typical whiny teenager

I honestly don't think of it that way, it's just something I've been thinking about.

I suppose I don't mind doing things by myself, I like my own company and it's better than not doing them at all. But I feel really weird.

Thank you all for your replies so far!

 

[boudoirblonde]

I believe in soulmates.
But I also dont believe you have a number one soulmate, and that you have, or can potentially have, more than one soulmate.

I think Im extremely lucky, and have two.
I have my best friend of 7 years, and we don't go to the same uni, and sometimes we cant catch up as much as we'd like, but I have full confidence we will stay best friends in the foreseeable future. We get on "like a house on fire", haha, especially if we havent seen each other in a while!
Then I have my bf. We have a great relationship, and we really compliment each other well

 

[benzito_714]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElectroCute I suppose I'll have to answer the age thing... I'm 15, which I hate to admit because that makes me feel like I'm being such a typical whiny teenager I honestly don't think of it that way, it's just something I've been thinking about.

Well this is around the time that i got my group of friends. its five of us and we have all had our ups/downs, spats and everything in between. we have cultivated our friendship into something more like family and sisterhood. all of our mothers hang out because of us and we support each other from school to relationships.
with that said we all have groups of friends outside of our core group and it does not affect the love we have for each other. sounds mushy but i never thought i would have friends like this.
even my husband is shocked at the bond that i have with my girlfriends. we r so close that he considers himself married to all of us.
but i also agree with kaliraksha-when she said "collectively all the people in my life fulfill my needs as well". i'm a tough cookie i need all the love and support i can get.

 

[rbella]

My mother is my soulmate. So is my sister, my husband and my best friend from Junior High.

I find that as I go through life (I'm 35) I can tell when someone will be a permanent fixture or a temporary enjoyment. The permanent fixtures are my soul mates and I hope to have more. I call them my "soul mates" because I truly feel that they have either already affected me or will affect my life so deeply that it will touch my "soul" in a way nothing else can. In turn, they feel the same about me. I know that they will be with me until the end.

It is a wonderful feeling to have and one that I didn't gain until my late 20's. Don't rush trying to find a "soul mate". You might find that you don't even believe in them!!!