stress?

[Lalli]

2 years back 4 days after i turned 17 my father died. it hit me had being the oldest and also a daddy's girl. things changed for me. i dropped out of college because i missed alot of work and i moved onto a different one when the new term started in september. it felt like a fresh start for me. things were going ok.

i've got exams and no matter how much i revise i feel as though im not doing enough and i'll fail when results are out. i have good days and bad days. my emotions are all over the place. is this natural? how can i just sit down and revise and not think about a million and one things. i dont want to fall into depressive states and take pills i just want to be a normal 19 year old and have lots of fun and just relax!! uni starts in september and i want to be able to just forget everything and just be me! even i miss the old me.

sorry for going on abit i just needed to let it out. how can i make myself to think more positive??

thanx xxx

 

[tiffie0023]

First of all, I’m very sorry for your loss. One of the things we learn about in social psychology is the concept of self-complexity. Being high in self-complexity means that you could end the statement “I am…” with lots of different items. Like, I am a student, I am a daughter, I am a good friend, I am an athlete, I am energetic, whatever. People who are high in self-complexity stress and worry less about things like school, because being a student is not the only part of their identity. My best advice to you about not overly-stressing about school, would be to remember that school performance does not define you. Think about all the other roles that you identify with. It’s normal to stress about school and everyone does it, but remember that it’s not everything.

Also, I think you are totally normal and I can personally relate to some of the things you said. In terms of thinking more positively, this can be very hard. Sometimes the best way to change the way we think is to change the way we act. It’s hard, I know, but try just acting more positively. Even if you don’t feel like it. Smile, laugh, try to remember the things that used to make you happy or what made you “the old you” then just try doing those things, even if you don’t feel like it.

 

[Lalli]

^thank you. yeh i know i was thinking how i could easily be the way i was i just need to make a effort and just go for it i hate being down always its not good 4 me and i seem to be hurting people around me like my mum who hates seeing me upset. i'm going to make more of an effort from now on. thanx for the advice

 

[Amymo]

You just described my problem i my last year of uni. My dad was diagnosed manic depressive and had to have major life threatening ops in the same year, I could not concentrate and was telling everyone around me that my brain just would not 'switch off,' I worried about everything from uni to the future to my future with my BF and my dad's health, it wouldn't stop.

In retrospect I got a first but was absolutely certain I had failed, in retrospect I see that on the days I was good I got a lot done, the days I was bad did not help my mental state, but they did not damage the good work that had gone in, you will get through the exams, I promise and the good work will shine through.

I also felt the same about my lovely mum, she couldn't bear seeing me like that, so worried, you should focus on getting through this, I now have a job and no longer feel the stress and worry, this is more than just stress but anxiety too which makes it hard. Good luck and enjoy the summer when its over, you deserve it!

Thinking of you.

 

[Lalli]

^^thank you huni, im just hoping that when i finish my exams its worth it and i get into uni. x

 

[Amymo]

Ooh, you're from the UK too, which Uni are you hoping to go to? I went to Durham and graduated last summer, it was a great experience and especially if you live in halls, you won't be able to not relax and enjoy yourself with all those like minded people, once again, good luck and stay focused on your goal, its well worth the work!

 

[Lalli]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amymo Ooh, you're from the UK too, which Uni are you hoping to go to? I went to Durham and graduated last summer, it was a great experience and especially if you live in halls, you won't be able to not relax and enjoy yourself with all those like minded people, once again, good luck and stay focused on your goal, its well worth the work!

i'm going to Leicester uni! and im moving out cant wait