GLAMORandGORE
Well-known member
before i start, i want to thank anyone that will read this...it's probably going to be ridiculously long and i truly honestly appreciate it because my "friends" don't even listen.
a few weeks ago, i was at a show and was completely wasted off my face, ended up going home with a friends ex. "the" ex, you guys know what i mean. she's messing around with one of his friends and was always talking about how much she hated him. (i NEVER would've done this if i was sober btw) we ended up hitting it off and actually liking each other.
both of them (my old friend, let's call her brittany, and my...whatever you wanna call him, let's call him richard) have serious histories of lying to anyone/everyone. both of them have cheated, pretty much shitty people.
anyway, he made a "promise" to me that he wouldn't do anything with other girls because he wanted to be with me. but since i was still friends with brittany at the time i wouldn't becuase that's so fucking shady and i just can't do that to someone i care about. he went to her house drunk (she says he came that night, he says he went in the morning) and they had sex. he says it's because she said that if he didn't feel anything that she would be okay with him and i being together. (he's an absolute idiot, and part of me actually believes he would believe that and the other part doesn't because, how much of an idiot acn you be? he also says he was drunk) she said that he looked her in the eye and told her that he loved her, but also says that he wasn't into it at all and she can tell that he's head over heels for me.
richard didn't admit to it till two days later, brittany was the one who told me. i wouldn't talk to both of them for several days and finally richard said "shit happens. we dated for two years." along with some other shit, which he says was brittany's idea to say. i'm not sure if that's true or not, but i think it very possibly could be because he doesn't say things like that and she does.
a whole bunch of drama happened, i ended up telling him that i hope his kid is autistic(and he very well might be). two days after, he texted me telling me he still wanted something with us. i ended up giving up and telling him he can have a second chance. that in itself is huge for me, because i NEVER give people second chances, ever ever ever. i can't even think of one time that i have, honestly.
richard and i are now dating (not together, but dating, if that makes sense) and "okay" but i still have complete hatred and anger towards him and will never ever trust him. he does plenty of things to show he cares (walks long distances to see me-and when i say long i mean long, sleeps in parks, buys me food, etc) but at the same time i really don't know.
he lives about an hour away from me, and his ex lives out there too, so i'm always always always paranoid he'll end up at her house again. and if he can't even be faithful when we're not official how can he be when we are? and if he can get drunk and do shit like that, how do i know he can't when we're together? should i believe him?
two other things are big factors which are pretty hard for me to say on the internet to people i don't know, but here goes. i'm concerned for my health because a.)i have a long drawn out history of depression, been hospitalized, on medication, etc. etc. b.)i was cheated on by my rapist who took my virginity so i have a high no tolerance cheating policy. both of these things warp my mind and have a huge effect on how im thinking.
basically, i just want to know what you all think on this situation. i don't believe in karma, but i can't help but think that's what's going on.
a few weeks ago, i was at a show and was completely wasted off my face, ended up going home with a friends ex. "the" ex, you guys know what i mean. she's messing around with one of his friends and was always talking about how much she hated him. (i NEVER would've done this if i was sober btw) we ended up hitting it off and actually liking each other.
both of them (my old friend, let's call her brittany, and my...whatever you wanna call him, let's call him richard) have serious histories of lying to anyone/everyone. both of them have cheated, pretty much shitty people.
anyway, he made a "promise" to me that he wouldn't do anything with other girls because he wanted to be with me. but since i was still friends with brittany at the time i wouldn't becuase that's so fucking shady and i just can't do that to someone i care about. he went to her house drunk (she says he came that night, he says he went in the morning) and they had sex. he says it's because she said that if he didn't feel anything that she would be okay with him and i being together. (he's an absolute idiot, and part of me actually believes he would believe that and the other part doesn't because, how much of an idiot acn you be? he also says he was drunk) she said that he looked her in the eye and told her that he loved her, but also says that he wasn't into it at all and she can tell that he's head over heels for me.
richard didn't admit to it till two days later, brittany was the one who told me. i wouldn't talk to both of them for several days and finally richard said "shit happens. we dated for two years." along with some other shit, which he says was brittany's idea to say. i'm not sure if that's true or not, but i think it very possibly could be because he doesn't say things like that and she does.
a whole bunch of drama happened, i ended up telling him that i hope his kid is autistic(and he very well might be). two days after, he texted me telling me he still wanted something with us. i ended up giving up and telling him he can have a second chance. that in itself is huge for me, because i NEVER give people second chances, ever ever ever. i can't even think of one time that i have, honestly.
richard and i are now dating (not together, but dating, if that makes sense) and "okay" but i still have complete hatred and anger towards him and will never ever trust him. he does plenty of things to show he cares (walks long distances to see me-and when i say long i mean long, sleeps in parks, buys me food, etc) but at the same time i really don't know.
he lives about an hour away from me, and his ex lives out there too, so i'm always always always paranoid he'll end up at her house again. and if he can't even be faithful when we're not official how can he be when we are? and if he can get drunk and do shit like that, how do i know he can't when we're together? should i believe him?
two other things are big factors which are pretty hard for me to say on the internet to people i don't know, but here goes. i'm concerned for my health because a.)i have a long drawn out history of depression, been hospitalized, on medication, etc. etc. b.)i was cheated on by my rapist who took my virginity so i have a high no tolerance cheating policy. both of these things warp my mind and have a huge effect on how im thinking.
basically, i just want to know what you all think on this situation. i don't believe in karma, but i can't help but think that's what's going on.
