trichotillomania?

[Jade]

This is long..so bear with me

My cousin, who is 15, had spent the night at my apartment the other night. Now for the past 3 years, I can honestly say, thta I have never seen this girl without her baseball cap on. I always just chalked it up to her being a total tomboy. When I came home from my jog, she was in the room talking on the phone, had her hat off. I noticed that she had a lot of bald patched. Tons. She barely had any hair on the top or left side of her head. Thing is, with her cap on, her hair in the back is quite long and healthy looking, so this was quite a shock for me. Instead of embarrassing her, cause I'm sure she didn't hear me come in, I qalked away and went back and kinda slammed my front door. She came out..once again wearing the cap.

Needless to say, I was quite worried, I did not know anything about trichotillomania, or even what it was. So I came out and just asked her about her hair. She was actually quite open about it, she told me that she has been pulling out her hair since she was 8. We talked a lot about it..then she started crying because all her friends are starting to get jobs and she says she can't because she simply cannot remove her cap, most interviews it's not acceptable to wear hats. She can't afford a wig, so that's out of the question. She says as much as she wants to, she cannot contro; the pulling. This was all so heartbreaking to me

So for the past day I have been reading up a lot on the internet about it. I feel so dumb that I have NEVER heard of this before. Just wondering if any of you have ever suffered, or are still suffering from this? How did you deal with it?(the getting employment and so on). What were some methods you used to overcome it? I'm seeing her again in a few days, and she wants to talk about it some more, so it would be great to get some opinions/help from people that have suffered or are suffering from it. TIA!

 

[nunu]

I have been suffering from trichotilmania for 9 and a half years

. I have come a long way though because i used to always pull the hair from the root and cause bold patches, now i just tear the hair in half. Sometime i do find myself pulling the hair from the root. I tried to stop but somehow my hand just finds it's way there.

I'm sorry about your cousin it must be awful having to wear a cap all the time. My hair is thick and when i pull it i go deep inside where the patch won't be visible or obvious to others. I learnt to do that when people started noticing little bold patches around my head.

 

[glamourgirl216]

I also have been suffering from this since I was about 8 or 9 yrs old. It was really bad when I was about 11yrs old. I used to only wear my hair in a high pony tail to cover the bald spot i had created on the center of my head. Until one day my mom found out and got so upset at me.

Now I do notice that when I'm stressing out or depressed I begin pulling again, and my hubby points it out and tries to make me stop & to be honest most of the time u don't even notice ur doing it to yourself. And till this day I haven't completely stopped, my hair has grown back (the area is still thinner then the rest of my hair). And I also try not to pull from one isolated section. I think that for me, being aware that i had a problem was my wake up call,& it helped me begin to control it. When I do catch myself I feel so guilty and try to stop.
I don't know about your cousin's life, but I started doing this to myself when me & my family was going through a lot, I feel it was my way of coping with all my problems. So maybe you should talk with your cousin some more and see what is going on with her. Maybe her opening up to you will help her acknowledge her problem and she can get help.

good luck with everything. thanks for sharing. it's kinda of weird but, speaking about this has made me feel a little better. Kinda like I'm not alone. we're all here for each other! xoxo!

 

[deven.marie]

I have had trich since I was 7 years old. I always pull my hair from the same spot on the top of my head, which means i have a little bald spot up there.. and I always pull my hair out from the root.

I really only do this when I get stressed, what happens is the "spot" gets really tender and starts to feel sore, and i feel the urge to pull hairs out. Its almost like Tourette's, its like an extreme urge to pick hairs out. Its like something is forcing me to do it and I cant help it. And after i pull the hairs out i feel much better.. I really cant control it no matter how hard I try, sometimes I do it without realizing, such as when Im watching TV. My boyfriend tries to help me stop by pointing out when im doing it, and rubbing the spot to take away some of the tension.

Last year it was so bad that I made my mom completely shave the little area, so that I couldnt pick at it anymore, hoping it would "train" me to stop. Luckily my spot is only about the size of a dime so I could cover it up with the rest of my hair. But now that it's grown back I have began picking at it again, and even when i dont pick at it, the hair is a lot thinner and more fragile than the rest of my hair when it grows back.

I think I also did it because of family and personal issues that I have been dealing with since I was a kid..

 

[deven.marie]

People with trichotillomania also pull hair out from other parts of their body, like eyelashes or arm hair.

I sometimes pick at my eyebrows too..

 

[ohnna-lee]

I don't see why she can't wear some kind of scarf or something. A trade mark like her ball cap. Just fold it into a wide length and tie it back behind her hair.

There are products in the market to make your eyelashes grow in more denser so I can imagine there are other products for the scalp.

Being aware of what you are doing and why you are doing it will help a lot. I used to sit and tweeze my bikini line for hours on end. It never really phased me and when I heard about the disorder or condition of hair pulling, it got me worried. I guess growing up with a brother that used to pull chunks of hair out... I ended up tramatized and never really went there. But the bikini line is an area that you really do not wish hair to be, and if you do damage it isn't recognizable to the public.

When I started getting grays I was also concerned about pulling them out, luckily I knew about the condition and have not progressed.

 

[BEA2LS]

my aunt pulls out her eyelashes, i am not sure if this is the same thing, though. she has no lashes at this point and did this her whole life. she wears falsies everyday but it's an easier area. i do not have any advice really but wanted to let you know that i also have a loved one who does this. i feel bad

 

[ohnna-lee]

Trichotillomania (hair-pulling disorder): Symptoms - MayoClinic.com

 

[HeavenLeiBlu]

I used to suffer from this. I think it started when I was about 8 years old. I sorta got shamed into doing it.... then as my bald patches got worse, I was shamed into modifying my compulsion. I used to get teased a lot. I've always had lots of hair, and in some Black communities, having lots of hair is something people are envious of, so I guess out of jealousy, I was accused of wearing wigs or some sort if fake hair (as a child! CRAZY!). So other girls would pull may hair, snatch my ribbons, barrettes, etc. In my mind, I figured if I didn't have so much hair, I wouldn't be targeted, so I began pulling it out, and it felt good. I wouldn't be satisfied unless I got the hairs from the root, and the bulb was attached. I did it alone, and since my mother couldn't afford to try and send me to a doctor to determine if my hair was just falling out or if I was just pulling it out, she assumed it was just falling out, and styled my hair in a way to disguise it. I still had a lot of hair, so the only place that bald patches were noticeable were in my temples and sideburn areas.

Once I was old enough to do my own hair, I felt ashamed of the bald temples/sideburns so I began to just cut my hair instead of just pulling it from the roots, so it didn't look so obvious. So of course, all the way though high school, I had short hair. Actually, by the end of high school, I cut all my hair completely off ( yes almost bald). I didn't start growing my hair out until maybe 7 or so years ago, but I constantly trimmed my hair. It wasn't until 3 years ago, when I started my dreadlocks that I stopped trimming it almost every week. I still trim my hair every 6 to 8 weeks though, which is a vast improvement. that's about a normal time scale that people trim their hair anyway. My temples have crown back, but if you look closely at my sideburns, you can see that they're then in comparison to the rest of my hair. My attitude over time has become " It's just hair, it'll grow back".

Please talk to your cousin's parents and get her some help; and if you can, try to raise money to get her a nice wig while she deals with this. Good luck!

 

[ashley8119]

I have had trich since I was 12. I'm surprised (and a bit relieved) to see that others go through this struggle. I've never encountered another person who had it, therefore I've always felt like a "freak" because of it.

I don't pull from my head though, I pull my eyebrows, arm hair, and pubic hair (this was before I started grooming it) mostly. I have pictures of myself from 9th grade homecoming with bald spots in my eyebrows and it breaks my heart to see it. I occasionally find myself pulling my hair from those places, but I try to stop. It's hard though, it's not a choice, it's more so an obsessive compulsive behavior. Trich is often associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which I also suffer from.

 

[ohnna-lee]

A year back I would always find myself running my fingers through my eyelashes to get the lose ones.... fast forward a couple months later and where there used to be three rows of dense lashes there was barely one. I made the consious effort to stop, it is so easy though because my eyes are extremely sensitive and when you feel a little tickle. OHNNNNAAA get your ass UP and look in the damned mirror. I would find myself scolding myself because I never had anyone to break me of the habit.

 

[Dice1233]

You're in Canada- can she see a psychiatrist without going bankrupt? Some people with OCD can overcome it with counseling +/- medication. I would certainly encourage her to have a doctor's opinion to be safe. I also love the idea that someone suggested above for anyone who knows her to pitch in to get her a wig to get her started.

 

[QTAllStarGurl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BEA2LS my aunt pulls out her eyelashes, i am not sure if this is the same thing, though. she has no lashes at this point and did this her whole life. she wears falsies everyday but it's an easier area. i do not have any advice really but wanted to let you know that i also have a loved one who does this. i feel bad

I do the same thing...I wear falsies pretty much daily now b/c i've pulled out over half of my lashes...most of the time i dont even notice im doing it until someone points it out i started pulling them out my junior year in high school nd im a sophmore in college now so thats like four years...so i started wearing lashes more often last year b/c i realized if I wore false lashes that I have a harder time getting to my real ones so I dont pull them out as much..but once I take the falsies off I start pulling them out again

 

[meaghanb2926]

I've had trich since I was 12 too...I pull from the root on the crown of my head. I actually chew/swallow the root too...I finally stopped (mostly) about a year ago and while it has grown back, my hair is really thin. Fortunately I'm pretty tall so most people can't tell but I am really careful about not letting people sit or stand behind me. I found that having my hair highlighted really helps because the lighter color makes it less noticeable. As another mentioned, trich is associated with OCD so sometimes medication can help. I have found that making sure my hair is washed everyday lessens the urge. Wearing my hair pulled back helps too. Its definitely sad as it seems to hit most girls around 12 to 15 (some have said it has to do in part to hormones too) which is of course when girls are so vulnerable and just want to fit in. I would suggest that your cousin definitely see someone to talk about why she pulls (what is she feeling when she has the urge), what brings it on (stress usually) and perhaps maybe getting medication to help with the urges....

 

[COBI]

I've never suffered from this, but our Relay for Life theme two years ago was the "Look Good, Feel Better" program. For our team site, I had purchased several wigs (from ebay, I believe or at least a company I found through ebay) for less $15 each plus about $20 shipping for 5 wigs. I think all 5 wigs were less than $90 with shipping (some wigs were $10).

I was amazed at the quality of the wigs. They looked really good, and not just they look good for $10 wigs; they actually looked really good even compared to much more expensive wigs.

 

[NutMeg]

I pull out hairs from my eyebrows and eyelashes. Every once in a while I pull out hair from my head and eat it. I also pick at the hair growing in on my legs and bikini line with tweezers... which leaves scars. I don't generally show my legs because of it.

Ick. It made me nervous just writing that.

 

[Girl about town]

i had it for a while when i was 15 or 16 i had one small bald patch, i was going through a stressful time with school etc at the time, i eventually stopped doing it on my own, although i now compulsively pick at my scalp instead, i try to stop but its really hard!!!

 

[MACLovin]

Wow, I really had no idea people suffered from this..

I mean I knew some pulled their hair out but I thought it was just anxiety or stress that caused it, didn't know it was an actual disorder. I am confused about the eating part though, what do you eat -- the actual hair? or the follicle? And what exactly is the compulsion to eat it?

 

[blondemafia76]

Mine is a weirder affliction attributed to trich- I rub at the hairs on my arms, causing a bald stripe, and often, sores. I do (did) this with out thinking about it and often in my sleep. People used to thinkl I shaved my arms- it was weird. But i was awfully stressed and I had to see a DR about it. I find myself doing it absent mindedly now, and quickly stop myself. It was a long time of therapy that had to retrain myself to do something else. Poor kid, please get her to talk to someone.

And good luck.

 

[argyle_socks]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutMeg Every once in a while I pull out hair from my head and eat it..

Same here. I don't really know why, or even what compelled me to start doing that, that was a hard time for me and I have tried with some success to black tht period out of my mind. But, if you pull so much with tweezers, why don't you try something like freezing your tweezers in a block of ice? Because then if you really need them for something like your brows, you have them, but you won't be tempted to just grab them and go to town. I dunno.

Ive been pulling for 12 years (more than half my lifetime!!), but I've got it (most) under control right now. I'm on medication, but I think that also has to do with my other problems. I also keep my hair short. Why doesn't your cousin try a pixie cut or something?
I pull mostly from my head, but I also pull a lot from my pubic region. Since I've pulled down there so much, someof the hairs have stopped growing back. That isn't a problem right now, but if I ever have a serious boyfriend, I don't know what I'll do.