Wedding Dress Dilema!

[hello_my_apple]

so i was recently engaged memorial weekend yay me!

our parents are fronting most to all of the cost for us, because my fiance and I are in the process of trying to become homeowners. you know paying off school loans and most of our debt. the other day i went dress shopping, i wanted to get this out of the way first. my bestfriend was a lazy bride and she got her dress literally 1 week before her wedding and she wasnt that happy at all. i DONT wanna be that bride. i tried on about 4 dresses and i knew this particular dress was the one. i got chills and i immediatly started thinking about Christian and imagined the look on his face on our wedding day. so at that moment i knew that was it! my mom on the other hand didnt like it and wanted me to wear something else, my mom never had a "real" wedding so she's very vocal about the venue which has aleady been picked (by my parents), and i can imagine a million more things before my wedding. i want to make her happy and i dont really wanna compromise with MY wedding dress. any advice guys? i'll put the dresses up and you guys and vote on it. the first one is my choice.

this is her choice.

 

[gildedangel]

I like the first one the best. It is your wedding dress, you should pick the one that you like despite what your mother says. I know that it can be hard to say no to your mother, but it is your wedding. My parents didn't have a real wedding either, but I know that my mother would be happy with the choice I would make (I'm still a bit young to get married just yet). It is you who needs to feel beautiful on your wedding day, and the day just won't be the same if you aren't happy with your dress. Superficial as it may sound, the dress is one of the most important parts. I think that in the end your mother will warm up to your choice, she just wants to see you happy on your wedding day.

 

[Mabelle]

I like no. 1.

I think you should just let your mom know that you apriciate her input so much, and you could not do it alone, but you are just head over heels for the dress (like you are for your man), so thats gonna have to be the one

 

[xsnowwhite]

I love the first one I think it's gorgeous! Tell her that you appreciate her help with everything, but in the end it is you that will be the one wearing the dress and you feel most comfortable/confident in the dress. Also maybe point out why you like it more, like say you were in search of a strapless gown as opposed to one with sleeves and you like the look of a more detailed gown.

 

[mssally]

OMG!!! the first one is GORGEOUS!!!! It's so romantic...

 

[Simply Elegant]

If your parents are paying most of the bill, is it possible to pay for your own dress as your part? That way she doesn't have as much power over the decision or you can pay the difference of the cost if her choice costs less. Regardless of who's paying though, you should wear a dress you feel good in and it'll just cause resentment if that doesn't happen.

 

[Stephy171]

i LOVE the 1st dress... i understand that you want to please your mother as well but this is YOUR special day and everything should go as you want it to.... and lol we are women the dress is one of the most important things to us! i say you go with you heart and those feelings you got when you tried it on.... if u dont you might regret it forever...
-Good Luck with Everything!!!

 

[mmitsjojo]

I think the first one is gorgeous. Although your mom is letting you know her own opinion, you should talk to her and let her know that you want to be happy with the dress you fell in love with and that it's great that she's helping you, but you just don't really love the dress that she has in mind. You're her daughter, i'm sure she wants you to happy on YOUR wedding day. Whatever your decision might be, she should be happy for you =) & congrats on getting married !

 

[COBI]

First, congratulations!

I like the top of yours and the bottom of hers (primarily because I'm not a fan of the big rosettes on the first dress and I don't like the neck and lace on the second.) If you've only tried on 4 dresses and the wedding's still over a year away, I would maybe keep looking for one that you both agree on. I have many friends who bought too early (opposite of your friend) because they LOVED the dress, but within months saw something they **LOVED** even more.

It is a hard position because although it is *your* wedding, it is your mom's money. So, there are a few options: 1. have a talk and come to an agreement about who has final say (either overall or item by item) before doing any more wedding choices (since you've acknowledged that there will be a million more things before August 2010), 2. accept her money=her say, 3. pay for more of the wedding yourselves.

No matter what, I think it is important to sit (outside of wedding choices/planning) and have a discussion about the situation, and the dress is just one piece of it; the discussion shouldn't take place while looking at dresses or checking out music or flowers. It needs to be about the whole picture and not a single choice that happens to be up at that moment.

No offense here because I don't know your mom at all, just speaking in general, but I think it's situations like this, where the mom wants to control the choices by controlling the purse strings, is what causes some women to become bridezillas.

 

[hello_my_apple]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephy171 i LOVE the 1st dress... i understand that you want to please your mother as well but this is YOUR special day and everything should go as you want it to.... and lol we are women the dress is one of the most important things to us! i say you go with you heart and those feelings you got when you tried it on.... if u dont you might regret it forever... -Good Luck with Everything!!!

thanks love muffin!

 

[Enchantedcameo]

First of all congratulation on your up coming wedding.

As far as your dress goes. I really would have a talk with your mother about what dress you want. As your mother she really wants you to be happy with your dress. She should be very understanding with your decision. Also I completly second you shopping a little more for you dress. I had one dress picked out, when I went the following weekend with my dad and mom I found a different dress all together and fell completly in love with the second dress. I picked the second one and didn't look back.

 

[twiztdlilangel]

The 1st one is amazing! I am having similar problems with my parents...they want to pick out how we do everything...if it was up to me wed just go to vegas. But im the only girl so i guess ive gotta give a little but its still MY day not theirs. Same with yours...I'd just talk with her about it and let her know how you feel!

Sidenote- Aug 21st is my parents anniversary!

 

[fillintheblank]

Congratulations! They're both beautiful, but I agree with you, I like the first better. That must be a really tough situation to be in, but ultimately this is your day, and you're the one that has to feel the most amazing! I hope you and your mom work it out!

 

[Makeup Emporium]

Congratulations!

It's your wedding, your day, your dress. You should feel special on your day so you need to get the dress that is right for you; not for anyone else.

That said it's hard when you are not the one footing the bill. Is there a huge difference in dress prices or something?

My hubby and I paid for the wedding ourselves so when someone said "I think this would be better" we could say "well if you want to pay for it then we will go with your suggestion but since we are paying then it is our choice". Worked every time!! Luckily we got enough money back from friends and family as wedding gifts to pay for the wedding twice over! That is not always the case though.

 

[nursee81]

I LOVE the 1st one it is gorgeous and romantic very fairy tale like. Express to her how much you like it and she'll understand.

 

[kariii]

I love the first one!

 

[kaliraksha]

Congrats! I love the first one!! The top is beautiful and it's generally very romantic.

Maybe you guys could take elements you like of each dresses and have your favorite altered or one custom made?

Hope it all works out! But, in the end it's your day and you only get to do it once... so make sure you're happy with the decision