What do YOU think is the right time?

[JULIA]

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks so my boyfriend has taken it upon himself to plan something big. I don't know the specifics of course, but he said it's going to be the best birthday I've ever had. He's a very romantic, thoughtful and sweet person which is what I fell in love with. I don't mind it one bit. The problem? Someone told him what he's doing for my birthday is too much considering we've only been dating for 4 months and now he's having second thoughts. What's the problem? He's doing something from the heart...Why should the age of our relationship make a difference? What, just because we've been together for such a short time we're supposed to settle for boring dates and lame plans? Ugh, people. Why rain on someone's parade?

When do you think it's okay to do big extravagant things in a relationship? I know people who are six years into being together and they're boring and do nothing. At least we're exciting.

 

[Mabelle]

Well, for myself, the right time would be never. My idea of a good birthday is going out to the pub witha few friends. Big and extravagent would be too much for me from anyone, including my bf of 6 yrs.

It depends on the person arranging the party and the one its for. I mean, if big and extravagent is your thing, you two are openly very affectionate and like to show eac otehr how much you care all the time and he wants to do it, then its the right time.
If he wanted to do it, and you were into something quiter it would be the wrong time. Or, lets say, if you two werent at a point in your relastionship where you were always showing how you felt and how doing acts to show much you two love each other, then it would be wrong. It might make you feel rushed and overwelhmed.
thats clearly not the case, so i say sack this person that spoiled your party

 

[kaliraksha]

Bleh, rules! I say you do what feels right for the other person. As long as it's coming from a place of willingness then there shouldn't be any negative repercussions like resentment or expecting the same for their bday. I think because of the intensity of a new romantic relationship it makes sense that people start out big and sizzle as they've been together for years... we no longer have that need to court the other person as intensely. It also gets pricey =)

I think most people say this in order to protect the person who is spending the money... they don't want them to regret it later, because let's be honest... most relationships don't last until the one that does.

Don't worry too much about it ... it's not like you're asking for any of it! Also, happy early birthday!

 

[snowflakelashes]

Its all about what feels right, I know I hold back a lot because I don't want to overwhelm people with gestures but I think if it feels right for both of you its right.

It would be different if it was scary to you because you weren't sure you were that into him.. ya know?

 

[LMD84]

yep just to repeat i would also do what feel right! don't let silly 'rules' hold you guys back from doing what you want. who sets these silly rules anyways?!

 

[banana1234]

they sound jealous!

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

every relationship is different. girl just be grateful u have a guy that will treat you like a queen and not dirt.

 

[JULIA]

Thanks everyone

You're all so wonderful!

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

^Girl I crack up every time I see ur avatar

 

[JULIA]

LOL. I love it

Thanks!