What does this mean?

[macface]

I don't know what to do. My sisters best friend told my sister that she saw my boyfriend with another girl. I know she would not lie because shes really close to my sister. She has known me for a while but has seen my boyfriend only one or twice. I just found out that she works around where my boyfriend works. She told my sister she saw him with another girl getting into a car together and she describe the car perfect with details.

My sister ask her if she was sure if it was him and said yes.I don't know what to do what if it was not him?

I confronted my boyfriend and I told him everything he reacted surprised.In that moment he broke up with me and got so angry and started yelling at me telling that he can't be somebody who can't trust him. He was more mad than I was.

Everybody started telling me maybe its true he got all defensive.

 

[ilovegreen]

Did the friend actually see him kissing the girl or anything like that ? The girl could have just been a friend of his.

 

[Lizzie]

I'm wondering the same thing as the above poster. Did your sister's friend see him doing anything inappropriate with the other girl? Or did he say he was going to be somewhere else when he was seen with the other girl?

Regardless of that, his reaction was out of proportion. You don't need that kind of useless drama in your life.

 

[YvetteJeannine]

Wellllll....It sounds to me like he protesteth too much!!! Guilty people do things like that (yelling, etc) to make YOU feel bad. It was him. I don't know you. I don't know him. I don't know your sister's best friend...but I can be almost 100% sure it was him; just by the way he reacted.

If she described the car, etc, there's not much chance of her being off the mark on this one..as much as you'd like it to not be true. If it wasn't him, he would have most likely reacted with a "Huh?" type response...but he knew what he did...so he created drama out of the situation to make you feel like you are in the wrong, not him.

All you did was ask him. Not anything so bad there. Surely nothing worth breaking up over...IF he was innocent. I hate to say it, but if that's the kind of man he is, you're better off knowing about it. Yes, it's cliche to say you're better off without him..but, honey, you don't need that bullshit.

IMO, he was probably cheating....I hate to say that to you, 'cause I know it hurts...But, if this was an innocent thing, he'd have said something like.."Oh yeah, that's _____ from work (etc.), and she needed a ride home"..or whatever it was...IF that was the case..If he's covering it up, though, and won't admit to it, I'd say it wasn't so inncent.

I'm sorry you had to find out about something like that thru a third person. But, it's never easy to find out about these things. Please let us know what he says if you speak w/ him again..And, REMEMBER...DON'T fall for some bullshit line like "Well, you made me SO angry, 'cause I didn't DO anything!!"..Just. Don't. Fall for it!!!

All the best to you. I Hug you ---> (

)

 

[Girl about town]

In my opinion , as i have been in a similar situation!!! He sounds very guilty! if it was all innocent he would have told you so and would have no reason to shout and split up with you. Sounds like he used it as a means to absolve himself, he is the one in the wrong but has made you look like the bad one!!.
It definitely sounds very fishy x

 

[PolyphonicLove]

His reaction was out of line. Were you calm when you confronted him? If so, he was being horrendously defensive...which is alarming. If he was innocent, he would have said, "OH BABY, I'd NEVAH hurt you or fool around with some ho!" So I wonder if he was really doing some thing he shouldn't have been.

Either way, if that's how he behaved...you're probably better off - especially since he tried to make you feel guilty.

 

[NicksWifey]

I do agree, guilty people do guilty things

I think his actions were TOTALLY uncalled for and out of line. Hell, I would confront my man too if someone had told me they had seen him in a car with another chick.
His actions were completely uncalled for. How would he have liked it if you were seen getting into a car with another guy and you flew off the handle at him? That's not fair to you that he chose to handle himself in that way.
I know it's not any of my business, but honestly, I'd lose this guy. If he can't be honest with you and when you give him a moment to present the truth and he acts like that, to hell with him.

 

[macface]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizzie I'm wondering the same thing as the above poster. Did your sister's friend see him doing anything inappropriate with the other girl? Or did he say he was going to be somewhere else when he was seen with the other girl? Regardless of that, his reaction was out of proportion. You don't need that kind of useless drama in your life.

She said they were getting in the car. That I know of he says he does not have any female friends but still I think I have they right who's he hanging out with at any time.

 

[miz_vee]

I've had a similar situation. To make a long story short, my bf at the time had a crazy that wouldn't leave him alone. It got to be very frustrating, though he always said that he wanted nothing to do with her after the stuff she did to him. Blah, blah blah. Anyways, shortly after we separated andwere staying good friends, I stumbled across a picture at his friend's house. She's there with him. I asked him about it, non-confrontational (since I really didn't care anymore) and he FLIPPED ON ME. Saying she wasn't there that night, had been there the night before, and everything else. I sent him a link to the picture of her..... that he's in. He wouldn't talk to me after that. Funny thing - I wasn't even angry about it or anything. Wasn't yelling or accusing or being aggressive.

People don't get that defensive USUALLY unless they have something to hide.

If it wasn't anything bad, why wouldn't he just calmly explain what that girl saw?

 

[macface]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PolyphonicLove His reaction was out of line. Were you calm when you confronted him? If so, he was being horrendously defensive...which is alarming. If he was innocent, he would have said, "OH BABY, I'd NEVAH hurt you or fool around with some ho!" So I wonder if he was really doing some thing he shouldn't have been. Either way, if that's how he behaved...you're probably better off - especially since he tried to make you feel guilty.

Yes I was very relax when we talked and he was too thats what suprised me that he just dump me at the moment.

 

[macface]

So we were talking and he said he reacted like that because their no way he can prove it to me. he said he loves me but can't be with me. I was joking with him telling him that I was going to spy on him at work to look for the typed of car they saw him because they saw him around his work lunch time plus he drives a blue car and they saw him in a white honda so I'm thinking is a co worker. In that moment again he said he was going to get a restraning oder on me.WHAT? I was shocked Isaid to him if its not true why all that drama with me.

 

[NicksWifey]

Honey, you don't need this man in your life. Seriously, he sounds very immature & stupid (I'm sorry to sound blunt, don't take it personally) and you don't need that shit from anyone.

 

[Lizzie]

If they were just getting into the car it's a very innocent situation. However, his reaction just shows his guilt.
If he's saying all of this restraining order BS then I think you should just leave him be. I don't care if he says he loves you or whatever. Like I said before you don't need that kind of drama in your life. There wouldn't be a problem if he didn't react the way he did.

Just be thankful you know how volatile he is now. A little thing made him blow up, just think if it were something bigger! I wouldn't feel safe around him. I think you should just stay away from him.

 

[miz_vee]

Seriously, you did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment. A restraining order? Let him, not that they would grant one for that. Buddy has issues that you don't need to deal with.

You'll find yourself someone wonderful soon. That is NOT a normal, acceptable reaction. Buddy is guilty of something.....

 

[kiss]

If he truly loved you then he would want to be with you and make up for his mistakes but he doesn't so forget him and regret nothing...

 

[TDoll]

Ok first of all, the fact that he reacted that way and dumped you in the moment you confronted him says it all. You can't be in a relationship with someone that reacts that way to trouble. I read that he excused this behavior because he told you he couldn't be with you because there was no way he could prove it wasn't him. Well, that's where trust comes in to a relationship. There are problems that will arise that you'll just have to trust each other on sometimes, and if he can't handle that, or if you would still be suspicious, then that tells me you guys have trust issues and that's something that is a big red flag in a relationship.
He mentioned a restraining order?? You need to move on and find yourself a real man. This guy sounds a little immature to me. You deserve better than that.

 

[macface]

He is kissing my ass out of control now.It sucks but its reality he ain't a good person for me.Thanks everybody for your advice.

 

[PolyphonicLove]

AHAHA really? Why's he trying to talk to you now? Man, I'd laugh in his face so bad.

 

[macface]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PolyphonicLove AHAHA really? Why's he trying to talk to you now? Man, I'd laugh in his face so bad.

On my last post I said he was kissing my ass a lot. Well it got to a point were he was following me and I got so mad and I slapped the shit of him.I know thats not the way to resolve problems. He was telling he was going to call my sister talking shit telling to tell her friend to mind her business and all this other stuff. I told him you need to leave us alone and its no bodys prolems but yours. So from their he started acting diffrent again and telling me he didin't want to be with me and that hes better of with me. I think hes crazy because he will change his mind back and fourth and he was tryng to act like the victim the whole time.

 

[Mizz.Yasmine]

did he tell u who the girl was or just denied it?

sounds really fishy to me

why would she tell u something so serious if she wasnt sure.and why wouldnt he tell u she was just friend?

and acting defensive isnt always a bad sign. i know i get defensive n mad whenever my bf says stupid sht becuz it really annoys me that he acts like he doesnt trust me when i do everything in this world 4 him.

the fact that urs broke-up with u right away is really odd though.take some time to think. maybe u should just move on.