LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
I'm done. Thanks to all who helped me :- )
What Should I do? (Long)
- Thread starter LoveMakeup4Real
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LoveMakeup4Real
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Anyone? lol
MACATTAK
Well-known member
That would be a deal breaker for me. Sex should involve both people being satisfied. Would suggesting that he go to a doctor be out of the question? Sexual dysfunctions can be a sign of an underlying health issue/other issues. Unless you are completely over it, I'd suggest it. For me, if things didn't change, I'd be out of there.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
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Simply Elegant
Well-known member
If it was just sort of bad, practice would make it better and telling each other fantasies would probaby help but since he can't even last 5 minutes and I'm assuming you weren't his first, I'd break it off. Breaking up is ego crushing enough, so no matter what you say he's still going to feel down. I'd just say there isn't enough of a connection and a spark but that you think he's a really sweet guy but not the right one for you.
MACATTAK
Well-known member
Quote:
Finding a good match in all aspects can be tough, but don't give up. I agree with the above poster about letting him down easy. I've been with a guy who had the smallest junk I had ever seen in my life. Believe me, no doctor could fix that. It was an easy relationship to give up. It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for him, it was just that I couldn't be in a relationship where sex would always be something I hated doing.
Originally Posted by LoveMakeup4Real
I was afraid to read something like this lol, but you're absolutely right. I now wish I never met him because I was fine with my sexless life before and it's still pretty much sex-less but now feelings are involved. Shoot. I prob. should tell him to see a doctor but I wouldn't even know how to tell someone this. Maybe he has ED? ... Either way, I don't want to be around while he's being diagnosed. It'll take long and I don't want to really be a part of that. I'm going to break it off w/ him tomorrow...too much of a punk to do it tonight over the phone when he calls. Wow that sucks. Handsome, nice guy but bad sex, just my luck :- ( I'm so done with dating. How would one even go about breaking up with someone in this situation? I don't want to screw with his ego. Thanks again for the response. |
Finding a good match in all aspects can be tough, but don't give up. I agree with the above poster about letting him down easy. I've been with a guy who had the smallest junk I had ever seen in my life. Believe me, no doctor could fix that. It was an easy relationship to give up. It wasn't that I didn't have feelings for him, it was just that I couldn't be in a relationship where sex would always be something I hated doing.
westindiesangel
Well-known member
Gosh, that sucks, and sounds like a tough decision to make...
You sound like you like him a lot. Maybe if he does have a problem and needs to see a doc...well why would you break up with him? How long would it take to "fix" his prob?
You sound like you like him a lot. Maybe if he does have a problem and needs to see a doc...well why would you break up with him? How long would it take to "fix" his prob?
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
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Simply Elegant
Well-known member
I think in person is better but since it's only been a month it's not as bad to break up over the phone.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
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LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
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westindiesangel
Well-known member
Quote:
lmao! ok i guess i respect that
Poor guy though.
This will be a blow to his ego. If I were you I'd have no idea what to say! I mean, if you say "not enough spark" he'll totally suspect it's because of the s-e-x. I would probably resort to some kind of lie if I were in that sitch...or I usually just disappear. I've gone as far as turning my phone off for 3 weeks to get a guy off my tail. :|
Not that I'm encouraging you to lie lmao...just more applauding you for being braver than me! haha.
| Originally Posted by LoveMakeup4Real
I have no idea how long it would take but don't want to wait and be the test dummy lol. I'll pass. I do like him a lot though but we haven't been together that long so i should control my feelings and move on *sniff sniff* I'll be alright. Thanks for the advice. |
lmao! ok i guess i respect that
Poor guy though.
Not that I'm encouraging you to lie lmao...just more applauding you for being braver than me! haha.
Kragey
Well-known member
Realizing this may be an unpopular opinion: talk to him about it. If you're comfortable enough to have his penis inside you, you should be comfortable enough to talk about the sexual issue. Acting like everything is A-OK is just going to make it worse. Communication is absolutely key.
Of course, you kind of have to meet each other half way. You may have to settle for him only being able to ejaculate once (in my experience, that's all most men can do within an 8 hour time span), or experiment more with other sexual activities to ensure that you're both satisfied. By the same token, he may have to work on the premature ejaculation issue. If things don't improve after you've addressed the issue, then I would definitely break up with him (sex is important to me), but I can't advise you to expect this man to be a mind-reader. That would be unfair.
Sexual compatibility is VERY important, but it's nigh on impossible to have a healthy relationship without that communication. If you want to read more about this issue, you should check out the livejournal community -- Sextips . Generally speaking, though, the consensus there is the same as mine here: if you don't talk about it, you'll never be able to fix it, and old habits are hard to break.
And realizing this is random: most people suck in bed the first time, LOL! It's because everybody likes different things, and you aren't used to each other's likes and desires yet...that doesn't really fit with this situation, but you said you expected it to be "mind-blowing" the first time, so I thought I'd throw that in there.
Of course, you kind of have to meet each other half way. You may have to settle for him only being able to ejaculate once (in my experience, that's all most men can do within an 8 hour time span), or experiment more with other sexual activities to ensure that you're both satisfied. By the same token, he may have to work on the premature ejaculation issue. If things don't improve after you've addressed the issue, then I would definitely break up with him (sex is important to me), but I can't advise you to expect this man to be a mind-reader. That would be unfair.
Sexual compatibility is VERY important, but it's nigh on impossible to have a healthy relationship without that communication. If you want to read more about this issue, you should check out the livejournal community -- Sextips . Generally speaking, though, the consensus there is the same as mine here: if you don't talk about it, you'll never be able to fix it, and old habits are hard to break.
And realizing this is random: most people suck in bed the first time, LOL! It's because everybody likes different things, and you aren't used to each other's likes and desires yet...that doesn't really fit with this situation, but you said you expected it to be "mind-blowing" the first time, so I thought I'd throw that in there.
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
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BeccalovesMAC
Well-known member
omg girl! This exact thing happened to me years ago. Its definitely a deal breaker. Would you consider staying if got some medicine for it? For me sex is 80% of a relationship. I like having sex a lot with my babes. I guess I am lucky my man is great in ALL areas.
I would seriously ask him if he would consider going to a doctor. I mean, its not like he doesn't know that he has this issue. If you get a long real good, you give him one more chance. Good luck dear!
I would seriously ask him if he would consider going to a doctor. I mean, its not like he doesn't know that he has this issue. If you get a long real good, you give him one more chance. Good luck dear!
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
EDIT:
I ended it with him.
I ended it with him.
BeccalovesMAC
Well-known member
i hope u meet 20 hot guys in 2010. Ones that dont need Viagra
LoveMakeup4Real
Well-known member
Quote:
Haha, so true but this one scared me back to celibacy. Thanks!
| Originally Posted by BeccalovesMAC
i hope u meet 20 hot guys in 2010. Ones that dont need Viagra
|
