allthatgl1tt3rs
Well-known member
Ok so I'm having problems with a friend I met about 8 months ago (through her then bf who worked with me). Anyway to cut to the chase we've became really close friends, but I started to get to know her when her bf broke up with her.
She told me what had happened back then and we'd email back and forth, and I was there for her and listened and supported her. Looking back those emails didn't really contain anything other than her venting, but back then I didn't mind because I understood where she was coming from.
Then she then fell for another guy, a friend of ours, but it was clear he wasn't respectful of her feelings and wouldn't treat her right. There'd be meals my friend and I would go out for where she would stop herself from talking about how much she liked him and how badly he'd talked to her, then say "anyway, no more about him". I'd excuse her and say "it's okay I know how it can be". So she'd carry on and she'd end up spending the entire 4 hours talking about him. This happened every time we went out together.
I was patient and I didn't mind. But recently because he was treating her so badly and she kept making excuses to get in touch with him even though he'd made his intentions clear, I told her gently that she should stop trying to contact him because she was just hurting herself and she deserved a whole lot better. She told me I was right and she thanked me for being there.
Then she recently fell out with a friend who wasn't treating her very well at all. She kept calling me to talk about badly she was treated by her on a holiday recently. Now at the moment I'm possibly facing redundancy. After an hour and a half of talking about this bad friend of hers she asked about progress on my redundancy and replied with "yeah, you're just gonna have to see what happens. Anyway it's been like an hour and a half I better go, my hair's wet from my shower" and we said our goodbyes. Nice.
Other than those moans she hasn't bothered getting in touch with me to do anything in the last month. She used to email/phone/text and meet up with me a lot and now she never bothers unless she has a problem then she's on the phone instantly. She doesn't listen to me much at all and I've tried emailing and contacting her and even invited her to do something with me like a facial or a meal and she didn't bother getting back to me.
I'm starting to feel very used by her now - like I'm some sort of counsellor. I wish she'd call to hang out with me rather than moan at me then leave. Thing is I don't wanna rock the boat by telling her how I feel because she may go off on one - I'm due to go on a birthday night out with her for a mutual friend of ours, but she's closer to this friend than I am. If I rock the boat I may get excluded or shunned from the group. Plus I'm due to go on holiday with her in the summer.
What would you guys do? I REALLY need your help because my patience has run dry!
TIA x
She told me what had happened back then and we'd email back and forth, and I was there for her and listened and supported her. Looking back those emails didn't really contain anything other than her venting, but back then I didn't mind because I understood where she was coming from.
Then she then fell for another guy, a friend of ours, but it was clear he wasn't respectful of her feelings and wouldn't treat her right. There'd be meals my friend and I would go out for where she would stop herself from talking about how much she liked him and how badly he'd talked to her, then say "anyway, no more about him". I'd excuse her and say "it's okay I know how it can be". So she'd carry on and she'd end up spending the entire 4 hours talking about him. This happened every time we went out together.
I was patient and I didn't mind. But recently because he was treating her so badly and she kept making excuses to get in touch with him even though he'd made his intentions clear, I told her gently that she should stop trying to contact him because she was just hurting herself and she deserved a whole lot better. She told me I was right and she thanked me for being there.
Then she recently fell out with a friend who wasn't treating her very well at all. She kept calling me to talk about badly she was treated by her on a holiday recently. Now at the moment I'm possibly facing redundancy. After an hour and a half of talking about this bad friend of hers she asked about progress on my redundancy and replied with "yeah, you're just gonna have to see what happens. Anyway it's been like an hour and a half I better go, my hair's wet from my shower" and we said our goodbyes. Nice.
Other than those moans she hasn't bothered getting in touch with me to do anything in the last month. She used to email/phone/text and meet up with me a lot and now she never bothers unless she has a problem then she's on the phone instantly. She doesn't listen to me much at all and I've tried emailing and contacting her and even invited her to do something with me like a facial or a meal and she didn't bother getting back to me.
I'm starting to feel very used by her now - like I'm some sort of counsellor. I wish she'd call to hang out with me rather than moan at me then leave. Thing is I don't wanna rock the boat by telling her how I feel because she may go off on one - I'm due to go on a birthday night out with her for a mutual friend of ours, but she's closer to this friend than I am. If I rock the boat I may get excluded or shunned from the group. Plus I'm due to go on holiday with her in the summer.
What would you guys do? I REALLY need your help because my patience has run dry!
TIA x
