Why me? Annoying Children and how do i handle this?

[Hawkeye]

I have no idea what I have ever done to make my next door neighbor kids and the kids across the street like me so much.

I think all kids have like cat-dar or something that tells them when someone isn't fond of kids but they keep coming around. I dunno. Kid-dar

Anyway- so these kids always come over to my house- want to hang out whatever. I don't mind. I don't like kids- but whatever.

I really don't like their mom either. It was seriously, the first time we ever met, we instantly hated each other. But their dad, the man kicks butt. He is awesome and I respect him a lot. the kids across the street- their parents yeah they are OK. They are nice but a little weird.

Now this is the problem-

I sincerely don't mind that they use my yard to play in, and I don't mind that when I'm home they come in and want something to drink or to see me.

What I do mind is this-
One day I was out working in the yard (Saturday) and I'm naturally going to leave my door unlocked. I come in from mowing the lawn and I see the door open. I know the kids have been playing outside so I'm not freaking out because I know it's probably one of them. I go inside and one of the kids is in there watching TV.

I gently shoo him out and tell him that it's not safe to walk into a house.

So I go back out, thinking OK I told one of them he'll tell the rest. I have beer and wine in my fridge. I come in again, it's hot and there is this kid looking in my fridge and holding my can of beer and he looks at me and asks if he can have my soda.

WTH?

I mean ok before I go any further- these kids are like 4,5,6 and then there are some other neighbor kids who aren't that bad but the others are pretty bad.

So I'm just shocked (not really shocked) but I gently tell him the same thing and shoo him out the door and that the Soda will taste very yucky.

Anyway- so by that time I locked the door.

Then I see these kids getting in my tool shed (with power tools) so I shoo them all out.

And now I'm freaking out because #1 I don't want to have to lock my door everytime I'm working outside and #2 I don't want them getting into anything they shouldn't.

I'm not sure how to approach the parents about this. I know with the next door neighbors I can mention it to the dad but it's still very uncomfortable. Same with the other neighbors.

So how is the best way to approach them about this?

Even though I don't like the kids that much, I'm not going to be mean to them and I'm not going to say don't play in my yard (when I have a huge yard and they don't). But at the same time I don't want them hurt.

And I'm also very very concerned that if they find it very easy to walk into MY house where they ARE safe (errr after I lock up the alcohol and cleaning stuff) how easy is it for them to walk into a house where they may not be (a strangers?) OR in a car or something like that? That really freaks me out too.

and I know most of you will say: Tell them to talk to their kids etc. It's not that hard- well when the parents (not really the dad so much) but the wife and the other parents are very protective of their kids and if you say one bad thing you get chewed out .... that is a problem.

 

[faifai]

Yikes! Guess their parents never taught them about stranger danger!

I would suggest having a conversation with the dad, since you get along with him better, and emphasize that it is concern for their safety that's prompting you to broach a sensitive subject like that with him. It is DEFINITELY not safe for kids to be getting into their neighbor's business like that, walking into someone else's house, going through their things, etc. Bad manners aside, it just isn't safe. Coming across alcohol, prescription drugs, a loaded gun, power tools, walking in on you having sex

, drain cleaner, or any of the other 10385702048271209 things that are dangerous for kids when they're unsupervised and alone is bad bad news. It's like leaving the gates to a pool unlocked and then wondering why kids keep falling in and drowning.

And if they wander into someone else's house and neighbor turns out to have genuinely bad intentions, the kid could end up hurt, yelled at or in the worst case, even dead. Clearly they don't even know YOU as well as they think, because they're under the impression that their kids can just go crazy in your house and yard when your patience for them is already wearing thin!

So yeah, talk to the dad. Tell him that you'd feel a lot better about their safety if they would ask before they came over, and rang the doorbell and waited for it to be answered before coming in. Be upfront about how it makes you uncomfortable that they're in your house without your permission/supervision, because they are just little ones and you're worried about what might happen, especially if this attitude carries over to other neighbors' houses. Use phrases like "I'd really appreciate it if...it worries me that...I can't have them over unless I'm there watching..." to hold your ground but not sound unkind. Finish with something like "I'm sure you understand," which is firm and doesn't leave it sounding like an open-ended discussion. It is NOT a discussion, these are rules that you need them to follow or you just can't have them over anymore.

They aren't your kids and you're not their babysitter, so it'd be unreasonable for them to request that you go out of your way to lock your things up in your house to facilitate their screwing around in your house. However, I think you will have to get used to locking your doors and getting a lock for the toolshed even if they don't ask (kind of a pre-emptive strike, if you will).

Sucks, I know, but it's for both your safety. If the kids come over and get hurt somehow, you might be held liable.

 

[Hilly]

Hey there,

I would suggest rounding the usual kiddos up next time they want to come over to "hang out" and having rules....
"We all have rules at home, school, the amusement park, etc.Rules are meant to keep us safe, while having fun. It is sooo important to follow these! I want to keep yall safe, so of course I have rules as well. Yall are welcome to visit my yard and porch (or wherever you dont mind) and then say those places are Green Places, my house in a yellow place.What this means is sometimes its ok, but you have to be cautious and ASK first...knocking, talking to me, making sure I am home, etc. The tool shed is a Red place. Absolutely no going there! Not safe at all!
If they break any yellow rule once or twice or whatever, do like 3 strikes and youre out (no treats next time you want to visit etc). And a red means going to the dad. It's for his kiddo's safety anyways.
You dont want to be held liable if they got hurt...so thats important to keep in mind since everyone is sue happy.

Hope this helps

 

[Beauty Mark]

You live at home, right? Would the parents be more willing to talk to your parents?

I would approach, if you do it yourself, as an issue of safety. Tell the parents that there are unsafe things in your house and that you don't feel comfortable letting children roam around when you don't know they're there. It's really unsafe in general, even if your house is safe, because if something like asthma attack would happen, no one would know that the kid was in there. If you emphasize that it's a safety issue vs. a "You suck at parenting" issue, it should be fine.

Otherwise, you're going to have to lock the door.

I'm kind of appalled kids will do that. My parents were adamant about us not going places without being invited (and we couldn't invite ourselves, like call a friend and ask if we could come over), getting permission, and so on. They were also strict about us not asking for food at other people's houses, including family; I wasn't even allowed to go into my grandmother's fridge without asking.

 

[Hawkeye]

I live right (literally) right behind my folks.

I know what you mean beautymark- you wouldn't *THINK* that kids now a days would feel so safe especially when the danger has increased to an excessive amount.

I just sincerely am at a loss. I think I'll take faifai's and hdirenzo's advice though and talk to the dad. I may also get my folks to mention it as well as I have caught them going in there as well.

They aren't bad kids they just need to be careful.

*sigh* I'm not looking forward to this conversation. Maybe I could get my dad to go with me (never thought I would need to ask Dad's help for something like this!) but yeah. :/

 

[Beauty Mark]

I would totally get your father do help. Some people, especially if you look young, may still see you as just a kid yourself and be offended that a kid is telling them what to do, at least that's how some people would perceive it.

You could always have your father fudge the truth and say that he's noticed the kids going in there when he knows you're either outside or not there. Him being your neighbor, it is plausible.

 

[YvetteJeannine]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdirenzo Hey there, I would suggest rounding the usual kiddos up next time they want to come over to "hang out" and having rules.... "We all have rules at home, school, the amusement park, etc.Rules are meant to keep us safe, while having fun. It is sooo important to follow these! I want to keep yall safe, so of course I have rules as well. Yall are welcome to visit my yard and porch (or wherever you dont mind) and then say those places are Green Places, my house in a yellow place.What this means is sometimes its ok, but you have to be cautious and ASK first...knocking, talking to me, making sure I am home, etc. The tool shed is a Red place. Absolutely no going there! Not safe at all! If they break any yellow rule once or twice or whatever, do like 3 strikes and youre out (no treats next time you want to visit etc). And a red means going to the dad. It's for his kiddo's safety anyways. You dont want to be held liable if they got hurt...so thats important to keep in mind since everyone is sue happy. Hope this helps

Hdirenzo is right; these 'parents' are more than happy to use you as their personal child entertainer, babysitter, and your home as a playground...But if Bratley and Snotliegh get hurt....OHHHHH that's a different story..they will have your ass to court faster than you can say "lawsuit". You could lose your home, and everything else. Don't worry about being fair or kind....the parents aren't worried about how YOU are feeling when you come in to find their muddy, snotty-fingered kids rifling through your snack cakes!

I have a medium-sized stream that runs through my hard, with a little footbridge over it. Now, as you can probably imagine, this draws every little nosepicker from the neighborhood. I find them playing in it all the time. It's got quite a good current after it rains, and there is a tunnel underneath the footbridge that runs down the length of the side street (at least a good 1/2 mile)...The safety grate under the footbridge was swept away, or pulled out a long time ago; so if, after a good rain, a kid decides to go play in there, it is very easy to get caught up in a current and be sucked under...and down the street. Not to mention the fact that they could fall and smack their heads on a rock...Limitless dangers...I am always on 'brook patrol'. My husband has put up a "NO Trespassing" sign, but they still come. I have to be very stern with these kids. Being nice does not work..

Case in point: One summer, I'm out there mowing the lawn. I see two kids playing in/around the brook...I go over to them and say "Hey guys...I'm really sorry...I know it's fun, but you can't play in the brook..you could really get hurt". Of course, they shake their little heads in disappointment, and start walking away. I continue on with the lawn. I get to the other side of the house, and I just have this "feeling"....so I sneak around and peek...and there they are again! This time, I went running up like a Hun, screaming "GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!". I never saw them come back

....I've also resorted to telling the lil' ones there's "alligators" in there. Hubby and I are going to put up a fence in another year or two....It's gonna be expensive...$10,000 worth of fence....

I was given the house when my Mother passed away; it is the house I grew up in. I myself played in that brook when I was a kid..I used to make a "Barbie Hot Springs Spa"...I loved it....But other kids...NOOOOO....Lawsuit waiting to happen....Too bad, so sad, kids...Fact is, if they don't listen the first time...they 'aint gonna listen 'less you MAKE 'em listen...Know what I mean

 

[Hawkeye]

LOL Yvette-

Well today I went in and I tlaked to the dad brought in my Dad. and while we talked on my dad's back porch we watched his children run into my house and come back out.

He was very receptive about it and he understood that I and my father both refuse to be a baby sitter and change our lifestyles because the kids (that aren't even MINE) insist on going into very dangerous areas.

He said he would have a talk with them and we made it clear they can play in my yard but it should be taken care of. I'll let you know how it turns out in the next few weeks.

 

[Beauty Mark]

That boggles my mind that the parents haven't instilled some fear in those kids, if anything (manners come to mind as well). My parents flipped out the time I was selling candy to our neighbors next door and hung out there (they were very nice and liked to chat with me, because I think we reminded them of their grandkids) for about a half hour.

It's good that the father understood.

 

[giz2000]

You have to talk to the parents...god forbid something happens in your house to one of those kids, guess who's stuck with the liability? That's right...you.

 

[Another Janice!]

WTH? Oh my god. My parents would have slapped me into next year if I would have walked into someone elses house like that.

It's not the kids honey...It's the parents.