Lexxiii
Well-known member
Since I'm a bit of a newbie I figured I'd check out what other forums Specktra has to offer, and I found this nifty little place at a PERFECT moment because boy do I need to vent!
I met my current boyfriend a year and a half ago online on a game called World of Warcraft. (Geeky, yes. I know ;P) We were friends at, he lived in North Carolina and I live in Wisconsin. Oh right, and he was turning 18 and I was almost 15. Anyway, be became very good friends even online and we would talk on the phone almost every night. It was obvious we had feelings for each other even though we never said anything due to the distance.
So one night on the phone I mentioned me visiting Chicago, and he told me he had applied to the University of Chicago. And surprise! That was only 90 miles away from Milwaukee and we knew it would be possible for him to come visit me sometimes... which was basically the OK to start a relationship. A few weeks later he received an acceptance letter... and a few months after that he confessed that he was in love with me.
We met in person for the first time last September at Gurnee Mills Mall in Illinois. My parents knew about him and even were kind enough to drive me there to see him. Since then, we saw each other once or twice a month until December when he would have go home for Christmas Break. The last day we saw each other before he had to go home there ended up being a huge blizzard and the train back to Chicago was canceled, and he had to stay the night at my place. He ended up staying the entire day Sunday even though he had final exams the next day. After we took him to the station that night a Police Officer came to our door. His father hadn't been able to get in contact with him the entire weekend and had his suspicions that he might have been here... we obviously didn't do anything wrong and he was on his way back, but this ended up causing a huge fight between me and my parents... and him and his.
He was away on break for almost a month, and when he did come back it was difficult for us to find time for him to come and visit. Slowly we started to grow apart... and inevitably broke up. I dumped him originally, but while talking to him on the phone a week later he told me he had "fallen" for another girl in his dorm building. ... I was crushed, because I knew I still had feelings for him.
I didn't handle it well at all. I could cry for hours every night for months straight, my school work was lacking and I was miserable without him to talk to. I tried to find someone else... I went on several dates during the course of our separation but no one could even compare to how happy I had been with him. He had started to talk to me, and acting exactly how he had when we were together. I even heard him whisper "I love you..." to me on the phone one night, though I pretended not to hear. But these sweet little days when he would speak to me were flecked with weeks of not hearing from him and it was more than I could handle. Eventually, my depression became too much for my parents and it was starting to make them depressed, too. That's when I started to think about suicide... so that my parents wouldn't have to see me hurting anymore.
My mom had already taken me to a therapist at this point, but at my next appointment I completely spilled my heart about wanting to off myself... and I was whisked away to a mental facility. I hated the place with a passion, and managed to get out in less than a week. Though I didn't necessarily pick up much, I knew the way I had been acting was silly. He was not the end of the world and I had to get over him.
The first day of school after I got out of the hospital I took off to catch up on my homework. My mom left to go grocery shopping and... sure enough, he IM'd me saying he was trying to find me online all the last week and I wasn't anywhere to be found. I told him about being in the hospital, but I left out a few details about exactly why.
Since that point he made an effort to talk to me *almost* every day, and was unconditionally sweet and loving to me... And again, one night on the phone he finally told me how he felt. How he felt stupid for ever thinking that he could be without me and how he still loved me more than anything in the world. I told him I still loved him too, and he was happy. Though at the time I didn't take it as a "we're back together" thing.
A few days later on the phone with him I got a call, and told him I'd just tell the person calling me I was on the phone with my ex. He said "Okay. Wait... ex?" I said, "Yeah...." "Oh... ... ... Awkward turtle..."
Anyway, a few weeks after that incident (which I thought was adorable, so I had to include it) I asked him if he wanted to be with me again, and his answer was an unhesitant "yes". I made sure that he understood that if he were to mess up again, I wasn't going to to come back. This was his last chance to prove to me that he could be trusted and that he could treat me the way I deserved. He agreed.
Since we've gotten back together I've been afraid to ask my parents to let him come visit, but I've been indescribably happy with him by my side again. I'm completely willing to deal with the hardships of a long distance relationship because just talking to him and knowing that there is someone that can understand me so well and whom I love so much is enough.
Today at dinner I asked my mother if he could come visit me this weekend. An argument ensued though I tried to keep my cool as much as possible. She refused to let him in the house again bet seemed open to the idea of us being somewhere in public instead. She told me she was going to tell him exactly what happened with me the few months that we were broken up (which I think she has no business doing) and that he would get an earful from her. I don't want to expose him to that, but I want to see him so desperately...
When she told my father about it when we got home he had a plain and simple "No." but when I tried to state my case to him he loosened up and said he would think about it. He will probably tell me tomorrow if I'm allowed to see him, but I'm so scared he'll say know... They just don't seem to understand how happy this man makes me feel and how much I adore being with him. Keeping us away from each other will only help to cause another miserable situation for me, though I think I would be able to handle a break up better this time around.
Of course, on top of, even before we broke up they had the issues of him 1. Being 3 years older than me, 2. Living 100 miles away and 3. Him having Asburger's Syndrome... so this is not an easy argument for me to win with my parents..
Wooo, that felt good to get off my chest...
Hehe. Umm, if you actually read through that you are amazing. And any advice you can provide would be fantastic.
**Disclaimer**
I wrote this at 4:30 in the morning and re-reading it... holy crap did I make a lot of typos. I'm too lazy to go back and fix them but... be understanding. And yes, I know the difference between "know" and "no". ;P
I met my current boyfriend a year and a half ago online on a game called World of Warcraft. (Geeky, yes. I know ;P) We were friends at, he lived in North Carolina and I live in Wisconsin. Oh right, and he was turning 18 and I was almost 15. Anyway, be became very good friends even online and we would talk on the phone almost every night. It was obvious we had feelings for each other even though we never said anything due to the distance.
So one night on the phone I mentioned me visiting Chicago, and he told me he had applied to the University of Chicago. And surprise! That was only 90 miles away from Milwaukee and we knew it would be possible for him to come visit me sometimes... which was basically the OK to start a relationship. A few weeks later he received an acceptance letter... and a few months after that he confessed that he was in love with me.
We met in person for the first time last September at Gurnee Mills Mall in Illinois. My parents knew about him and even were kind enough to drive me there to see him. Since then, we saw each other once or twice a month until December when he would have go home for Christmas Break. The last day we saw each other before he had to go home there ended up being a huge blizzard and the train back to Chicago was canceled, and he had to stay the night at my place. He ended up staying the entire day Sunday even though he had final exams the next day. After we took him to the station that night a Police Officer came to our door. His father hadn't been able to get in contact with him the entire weekend and had his suspicions that he might have been here... we obviously didn't do anything wrong and he was on his way back, but this ended up causing a huge fight between me and my parents... and him and his.
He was away on break for almost a month, and when he did come back it was difficult for us to find time for him to come and visit. Slowly we started to grow apart... and inevitably broke up. I dumped him originally, but while talking to him on the phone a week later he told me he had "fallen" for another girl in his dorm building. ... I was crushed, because I knew I still had feelings for him.
I didn't handle it well at all. I could cry for hours every night for months straight, my school work was lacking and I was miserable without him to talk to. I tried to find someone else... I went on several dates during the course of our separation but no one could even compare to how happy I had been with him. He had started to talk to me, and acting exactly how he had when we were together. I even heard him whisper "I love you..." to me on the phone one night, though I pretended not to hear. But these sweet little days when he would speak to me were flecked with weeks of not hearing from him and it was more than I could handle. Eventually, my depression became too much for my parents and it was starting to make them depressed, too. That's when I started to think about suicide... so that my parents wouldn't have to see me hurting anymore.
My mom had already taken me to a therapist at this point, but at my next appointment I completely spilled my heart about wanting to off myself... and I was whisked away to a mental facility. I hated the place with a passion, and managed to get out in less than a week. Though I didn't necessarily pick up much, I knew the way I had been acting was silly. He was not the end of the world and I had to get over him.
The first day of school after I got out of the hospital I took off to catch up on my homework. My mom left to go grocery shopping and... sure enough, he IM'd me saying he was trying to find me online all the last week and I wasn't anywhere to be found. I told him about being in the hospital, but I left out a few details about exactly why.
Since that point he made an effort to talk to me *almost* every day, and was unconditionally sweet and loving to me... And again, one night on the phone he finally told me how he felt. How he felt stupid for ever thinking that he could be without me and how he still loved me more than anything in the world. I told him I still loved him too, and he was happy. Though at the time I didn't take it as a "we're back together" thing.
A few days later on the phone with him I got a call, and told him I'd just tell the person calling me I was on the phone with my ex. He said "Okay. Wait... ex?" I said, "Yeah...." "Oh... ... ... Awkward turtle..."
Anyway, a few weeks after that incident (which I thought was adorable, so I had to include it) I asked him if he wanted to be with me again, and his answer was an unhesitant "yes". I made sure that he understood that if he were to mess up again, I wasn't going to to come back. This was his last chance to prove to me that he could be trusted and that he could treat me the way I deserved. He agreed.
Since we've gotten back together I've been afraid to ask my parents to let him come visit, but I've been indescribably happy with him by my side again. I'm completely willing to deal with the hardships of a long distance relationship because just talking to him and knowing that there is someone that can understand me so well and whom I love so much is enough.
Today at dinner I asked my mother if he could come visit me this weekend. An argument ensued though I tried to keep my cool as much as possible. She refused to let him in the house again bet seemed open to the idea of us being somewhere in public instead. She told me she was going to tell him exactly what happened with me the few months that we were broken up (which I think she has no business doing) and that he would get an earful from her. I don't want to expose him to that, but I want to see him so desperately...
When she told my father about it when we got home he had a plain and simple "No." but when I tried to state my case to him he loosened up and said he would think about it. He will probably tell me tomorrow if I'm allowed to see him, but I'm so scared he'll say know... They just don't seem to understand how happy this man makes me feel and how much I adore being with him. Keeping us away from each other will only help to cause another miserable situation for me, though I think I would be able to handle a break up better this time around.
Of course, on top of, even before we broke up they had the issues of him 1. Being 3 years older than me, 2. Living 100 miles away and 3. Him having Asburger's Syndrome... so this is not an easy argument for me to win with my parents..
Wooo, that felt good to get off my chest...
**Disclaimer**
I wrote this at 4:30 in the morning and re-reading it... holy crap did I make a lot of typos. I'm too lazy to go back and fix them but... be understanding. And yes, I know the difference between "know" and "no". ;P
) the only thing that it really effects is that he has a difficult time understanding when he does something wrong. Like I will ask him to call me in say, half an hour... and I will not hear from him the entire night. When I do get to talk to him, he tells me that something came up and he was busy. No matter how many times I tell him, "Then at least call me and tell me that you are busy!" he just does not seem to get it. But that is something I have come to terms with, lol.
