CandyKisses1018
Well-known member
sorry i have to delete my life.
words of a broken heart (venting/long)
- Thread starter CandyKisses1018
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alexisdeadly
Well-known member
You should never compromise yourself for someone no matter how much you love them. You are your own person. I think you have to take time off for yourself and learn to love yourself. You deserve a lot more than what you currently have. Start seeing your family and friends more. You should not allow any person to set limits for you. No matter who they are.
threelittlebirds
Well-known member
I'm really sorry about what you're going through...and I hope that you make the right decisions towards your happiness.
The only advice I can really think of is that from what I've read, you have lost your sense of self. I don't have a whole lot of relationship experience but from what I have learned, it is crucial to maintain who you are. The person you are (were?) is the person your bf fell for, and who he should respect/love...not a clay doll who has become molded to his dependent. If he can't let you be this person...then you should really consider what is healthy for yourself. I don't mean to be harsh but he sounds verbally abusive as well.
You are an individual, and you should have the right to be who you are. If he can't love that person, I know there is someone out there who will.
The only advice I can really think of is that from what I've read, you have lost your sense of self. I don't have a whole lot of relationship experience but from what I have learned, it is crucial to maintain who you are. The person you are (were?) is the person your bf fell for, and who he should respect/love...not a clay doll who has become molded to his dependent. If he can't let you be this person...then you should really consider what is healthy for yourself. I don't mean to be harsh but he sounds verbally abusive as well.
You are an individual, and you should have the right to be who you are. If he can't love that person, I know there is someone out there who will.
CandyKisses1018
Well-known member
Thank you girls for taking time to reply and give me advice or your opinion on everything. It means a lot to have another persons opinion especially if you don't really have anyone to talk to.
my bestfriend is in the military so I can't really get a hold of her, her schedule is so hecktic =(
I really do appreciate it
my bestfriend is in the military so I can't really get a hold of her, her schedule is so hecktic =(
I really do appreciate it
gigglegirl
Well-known member
I think that if you are sad and not feel like this is a great relationship (as stated in the feeling more like a guy friend comment, being called names, etc) it would be better to be on your own, find out who you are (so cliche but true--you don't want to be saddled into being miserable yet "attached"). Perhaps then you can reconnect with old friends and family, get out there and try new activities, go for a cooking or pottery or something else-type class and meet new people! It can be frightening but I don't think sitting at home being sad is a great alternative (believe me, I'm working on this too!).
*hugs* and good luck to you! Be strong in whatever decision you make!!
*hugs* and good luck to you! Be strong in whatever decision you make!!
alexisdeadly
Well-known member
I forgot.. Never ever settle for anything than the best.
Araylan
Well-known member
Get rid of the S.O.B. A relationship is about love, compromise, fun. It doesn't sound like any of that is going on. I just will never understand why anyone will let their self be treated so badly. This may sound harsh, but maybe that's not such a bad thing. Nobody deserves to be so unhappy. I was in a 3.5 yr relationship and I can't say that I was happy the whole time but that's because I like to go out or actively do things with my bf and that one just wanted to stay at home all of the time. It's not a healthy thing to do. If you have to, move back in with your family, change your phone number, leave a note behind and disappear.
Try being single for a while. When you're not looking for the right one or the 'right now' one, he'll come to you. This is coming from a similar personal experience so at least take this all in. Think about it. You're the only one who can change your life. He won't change. Nothing you do will make him change and if the two of you were meant to be you wouldn't have to change him. Break the string of bad relationships right here and leave them in your past. You need to start loving your life again.
And I feel the need to say this too- I know it's not as easy as it sounds and nothing will change unless you personally really want it to, but it's not as hard as you think it is. Really.
Try being single for a while. When you're not looking for the right one or the 'right now' one, he'll come to you. This is coming from a similar personal experience so at least take this all in. Think about it. You're the only one who can change your life. He won't change. Nothing you do will make him change and if the two of you were meant to be you wouldn't have to change him. Break the string of bad relationships right here and leave them in your past. You need to start loving your life again.
And I feel the need to say this too- I know it's not as easy as it sounds and nothing will change unless you personally really want it to, but it's not as hard as you think it is. Really.
SparklingWaves
Well-known member
Please reconnect with your family and friends. Make new friends too. Surround yourself with loving, caring, and supportive people.
Invest your energy into you. Make a journey into discovering what you need and where you want to go in life. Make goals for yourself and plans how to reach them.
Peace.
Invest your energy into you. Make a journey into discovering what you need and where you want to go in life. Make goals for yourself and plans how to reach them.
Peace.
CandyKisses1018
Well-known member
thank you girls. for all of your advice
i haven't called him all night.. i dont think i'll be calling him til tomorrow, i need to get my things from him.. i need to get everything so i could let go.. ugh why did i have to bring so much shit over there? argh. see how this goes..=/
i haven't called him all night.. i dont think i'll be calling him til tomorrow, i need to get my things from him.. i need to get everything so i could let go.. ugh why did i have to bring so much shit over there? argh. see how this goes..=/
CandyKisses1018
Well-known member
i'd thank all of you guys but i dont have a thanks button under your comments
CandyKisses1018
Well-known member
I talked to him for the first time tonight and because of the help of all of you.. I have the strength to move on and realize that i deserve better.. i'm pretty sure right now wil lbe the last time i cry over him.. i cry over this fucked up relationship. he called me a pest and told me to shut the fuck up talking to him when i was telling him everything i felt (like i told you guys in the beginning of the blog).. thank you girls again, it means the world to me.
alexisdeadly
Well-known member
Quote:
I am glad you had the strength to stand up for yourself.
Originally Posted by CandyKisses1018
I talked to him for the first time tonight and because of the help of all of you.. I have the strength to move on and realize that i deserve better.. i'm pretty sure right now wil lbe the last time i cry over him.. i cry over this fucked up relationship. he called me a pest and told me to shut the fuck up talking to him when i was telling him everything i felt (like i told you guys in the beginning of the blog).. thank you girls again, it means the world to me. |
I am glad you had the strength to stand up for yourself.
SparklingWaves
Well-known member
Throwing the support rope to you... -----x---------x---------x
CandyKisses1018
Well-known member
that last post was the cutest post ive ever seen! lol thank you!
V15U4L_3RR0R
Well-known member
Sounds to me like he is becoming emotionally abusive and all I can say to that is Get out now. Forge a new link with your family and begin to heal wounds.
It will be hard but think of it like pulling a tooth. It'll hurt like a bastard but then you'll feel better. Being controlled on an emotional level is so horrible. I've been there myself and it was sooo hard to leave him. He kept begging me back saying he would change and I nearly gave in but something made me stay strong and I removed him from my life. Then I could heal myself and recover from the abuse.
Your boy sounds like he's got his won issues going on and he's taking it out on you. I think yu both need to spend some time apart. But seriously what you're descibing is exactly what I went through.
If you need to talk about it then please feel free to message me anytime and I will always read it and reply. Keep safe and I'm sending you mental hugs.
It will be hard but think of it like pulling a tooth. It'll hurt like a bastard but then you'll feel better. Being controlled on an emotional level is so horrible. I've been there myself and it was sooo hard to leave him. He kept begging me back saying he would change and I nearly gave in but something made me stay strong and I removed him from my life. Then I could heal myself and recover from the abuse.
Your boy sounds like he's got his won issues going on and he's taking it out on you. I think yu both need to spend some time apart. But seriously what you're descibing is exactly what I went through.
If you need to talk about it then please feel free to message me anytime and I will always read it and reply. Keep safe and I'm sending you mental hugs.
Evey
Well-known member
Simply put, when you find someone to be with, both parties involved will make small changes to accomodate to the other but you should NEVER have to change your entire life around for someone. Someone that loves you will not cut you off from your friends and family. On the contrary, they will bring you closer to them. I know it will hurt to leave him but, sometimes you have to do what's best for you and staying in a relationship where you hurt and are alone all the time is not in any way, shape or form healthy for you. I would say to sit down with him and talk to him about how you feel but, people like him don't change. They will force YOU to change but when it comes to making changes for you, they won't. I am going to tell you to at least TRY but, if you see that things aren't changing now, more than likely, they won't. I just hope you can muster up the courage to walk out of that situation when the time comes. You may not have him, but you have your family. Even though you've been kept away from them, family will ALWAYS be there for you.
CandyKisses1018
Well-known member
hey girls, thank you for all your advice and support. ast night I felt like I wasn't going to cry over this whole thing and i'll be able to move on.. now i feel like i can't but i have to.. he hasnt tried talking to me at all and thats fine with me i guess.. i just wish he loved me and should me the respect i need. it just so hard.. i've been listening to music going through my ipod finding every incouraging song i could to help me.. argh.. im so stressed. thank you all!
xIxSkyDancerxIx
Well-known member
It's ok..
I know sometimes it'll seem like it's NOT going to be ok and all you're going to want to do is run back to him, but honestly, you just have to suck it in and move on. Seems like he doesn't respect/love/care/etc about you like he should and he's just taking you always being there for granted.. and no one deserves to be with someone like that.
Some days you'll feel fine and free and other days you're going to be depressed and lonely.. And even if you feel like you want to go back, listen to the little voice inside your head that's telling you that you need to do what's best for YOU (hmm.. that didn't come out right.. "listen to the voice..")
But we're all here for you ^-^
NutMeg
Well-known member
A phrase I've always found to help me get through hard times is such a cliche, "It will all be alright in the end, and if it's not alright then it's not the end." No matter how crappy you're feeling right now, remind yourself that it will get better. It's not the end. *hug*
