Re: Men fantasies & "privacy"?
I'm probably one of the lucky ones, but my boyfriend is very.. I dunno "exclusive" to me in the way that he doesn't look at porn, doesn't look at other women, and expresses his fantasies with me very openly which all include me. I try to get him to look at porn with me and even then it just doesn't do it for him.. So I probably have a biased view of this because he's ridiculously chivalrous and dedicated..
I think it's kind of bullshit for a guy not to dedicate himself completely to you and use excuses like this if it makes you upset. If it doesn't, then who cares, but I know it makes a lot of girls insecure and upset when their boyfriends blatantly flirt with other girls or look at Playboy/etc and say it's not cheating and they can do whatever they want. I know my point of view probably doesn't fit in with the modern world of Maxim magazine and threesomes. But, my boyfriend and I see each other as equals and we're extremely dedicated to each other. We're both extremely sexual people (me more than him, heh
) and we have very strong feelings for each other. In that way, we're willing to play out any fantasies and we don't hide them from each other. If he doesn't want to act out his fantasies with you (a real woman) and would rather jerk off to them (to pictures).. I think that's kind of a red flag.
I think it is, unfortunately, normal for guys to do this but no matter what a lot of women say.. I think it makes them insecure and upset. In my opinion, I think it's this whole "Peter Pan" bullshit that guys do where they don't want to feel "held down" by women and we put up with it because that's what society says is ok. I realize my boyfriend is probably one of the few guys in the world that only has eyes for me.. but he hasn't looked at any of those magazines/porn/etc since he was like 15 and going through puberty. And I disagree with your boyfriend because it has a lot do with your relationship. People are entitled to privacy and relationships should have
a lot of independence within them, but they should also have trust and honesty above all. Him hiding things from you that make you feel upset isn't really apart of the whole trust and honesty thing. If he feels that you're invading his privacy try playing out his fantasies or even just tell him how you feel. Don't let him dictate it completely.
*shrugs* I guess it's just my personal opinion but I think girls should be treated like princesses and if you're good to your man, HE should be just as good to you. I don't think there's anything wrong with fantasies or porn or masturbating or anything like that.. in fact, I love all three haha. BUT I do have a problem with men not growing up and treating women with the care and respect that they want if it IS bothering them.