Am I wrong?

[mocha_queen]

I ended things with my bf of 2 years back in January for not having any time for me and not being supportive and loving.
He would not talk to me on the phone anymore and just make playful but mean jabs at me and blame it on the stress of not having enough money.
Anyway, we had been on and off for 6 months and I assumed that this time would be no different and that he would realize his mistake and come back and apologize. He did not.

I found out later that he was seeing this other girl and when we resumed talking on the phone, he confessed he was only talking to her so he could move on from me but was finding it very difficult to do so because he loves me so much.
I decided to go visit him (he lives an hour away) in Feb and we ended up getting back together (made love etc.) I could feel like he was putting a lot more effort into the relationship and I felt good about it.

He and I were talking on the phone last week and he asked if I had slept with anyone else while we were broken up ( I did not) but it made me suspicious and I confronted him till he admitted that he had slept with that girl once and then never again. (she moved to another state now)

But I am furious! I told him that I want nothing to do with him. He argued that since we were broken up that he was allowed to sleep with whoever he wanted. What I don't understand is that if he loved me so much...why would he go sleep with someone else? And I am mad that he did not share this information with me before we got back together.

Am I wrong? He wants to work on the relationship, but I just feel betrayed.

Help me ladies!

 

[LMD84]

well honestly i don't feel that he did anything wrong. you were broken up and i do believe that he still loved you when he slept with the girl. but at that point he was most likely thinking there was no way you would get back together and that by sleeping with the other girl would be a way of trying to forget and get over you. yes i'd be upset to hear that he had slept with somebody however technically there was no wrong doing. i hope you guys manage to get back on track.

 

[Nzsallyb]

ive been in this situation - me and my ex went on a break, and in that week he slept with 2 girls, i was too busy being upset at home about his decision to want a break, and then he wanted us to get together, so we did, but our problems had not gone away

i too had the same thoughts - if he loved me, why did he screw two other guys - the answer for me that was coz i dont think he really loved me towards the end, just loved the idea of me, and it was a familiar thing to be in (the relationship). i ended it, and never felt better.

i think he did nothing wrong - you guys were broken up, and i know it hurts like hell when he insists he loves you - but you need to look at the pros and cons of your relationship (were you having problems before etc), and for me, even though my ex insisted he'd changed, his actions proved he hadnt.

you really need to look hard to see if it is healthy for you, not convenient and comfortable! feel free to pm me xx

 

[katred]

It's a tricky situation, but if you were taking a break then he wasn't wrong to try to have a rebound relationship, especially if he thought that things were over between the two of you. He probably thought that, despite the fact that he was in love with you and missing you, he had to at least take steps to get on with his life. In the event, it didn't work.

For what it's worth, the fact that he tried to move on so quickly would say to me that he felt a certain desperation at the break up. It may not be what you wanted to hear, but it is how men tend to deal with relationship meltdown. They try to prove to themselves that it doesn't matter by proving they can easily find someone else.

The fact that you feel so betrayed makes it sound like you have some trust issues regarding him anyway- not about cheating, but about whether or not he'll be there for you. It's worth thinking about what the larger issues in the relationship are and if they are something you think you can overcome. It sucks to have to go through this, I know.