lindas1983
Well-known member
Sorry if this is a bit ranty, i've just had a fight with my father who has came in drunk again and I need to vent before I do something stupid.
Well i've always been quite independent and worked my butt off to get my own house by age 20, before then i lived in carpped little flats, shared houses and aftercare houses from I was 16. I lived with my grandparents from I was 12 as social services decided my parents where not fit as they where alcoholics, (my parents where given a shite load of chances before this happened but they basically loved drink more than me and my sister so they let social services place us in my mums parents house as instead of taking into foster care so they could save face and people wouldn't think we where really under a care order. They forgot to tell social services of course that my granda liked little girls a little too much.)
Well anyways over the next few years from I was 12 til 16 I hardly saw my dad as he usually blew off his visitations as he was in his words "too broke, the big game was on, or i'm too drunk" and my mum had slide into really bad drinking so the only times I saw here she was usually screaming and crying. My sister died when she was 15 threw solvent abuse and my dad promised things would change, he's see me every week without fail and we'd do something cinema etc that lasted about 3 months then it went back to the excuses so I just gave up and moved into after care as soon as a place opened up.
I did well for myself for the next 4 years, did ok at school since i wasn't as stressed, weened off my anti depressents and self harming, went travelling, made what I concider are my life long true friends (we see each other as sister more than friends) really found myself.
My mum eventually passed away due to her drinking by the time I was 20 and even though we wern't as close as I would have liked we made our peace before that. It hurt to watch her drink herself to death even if i did see her only maybe once a month at best. Not long after her death I got my own house.
I loved having my own space, i took real pride in my house and made it my own. Within 4 months of moving in my dad was at the door with the sob story that his gf had kicked him out and he'd nowhere to stay so could he stay in mine awhile. (strange he never made as much contact when i only had a shared house or crappy little one bedroom flat). His few weeks turned into 11 months. In which he only really worked 2 months so I had to pay he way the other 9 months. The strange thing is I prefered when he didn't work so he couldn't roll in pissed and stoned every night and get on my last nerve, eat my last slice of cheese I'd put aside for lunch or piss on my bathroom floor and not clean it up. In the end he moved out when his gf took him back, however I was in hospital at this point as I just found out I'd kidney and bladder problems and had all sorts of tubes hanging out of me and was very frightened, so basically the one time I actually needed him in the house he left.
I was waster (thats my name for him along with sponge and leech) free for just over a year and then he ended up back on my door with the same sob story, hes been here two years now and shows no sign of moving on and standing on his own two feet for once in his life instead of leeching of one woman to the next. This guy cn't work a washing machine, top up my gas or electric meters, ring a take away for himself (he's woken me out of my sleep to order him one while he goes to bed drunk so i've to wait on it and bring it upto him). He's been so stoned and drunk hes threw up in my livingroom and spare room and left it sitting there days until i finally cracked up and cleaned it up for him. (the matress he just turned over instead of disinfecting and its my good expensive mattress!!!). He'd mistaken my bedroom for the bathroom and pissed all over it (there one different Floors you idiot!!) oh and i wasn't home for that, my bf witnessed it and had to clean it up I've never been so embarrassed. He smokes disgusting cigars and laughs at he when I tell him not to smoke them in my house. I went away for the weekend and left him to look after the house, I came back to no electricity or toliet roll!! If he only works 4 days instaed of 5 he can't afford to pay keep!! Its not like he has any bills to pay but he can roll in 7 days a week pissed out of his skull.
You might think why do I put up with him and so do I. Everytime i ask him to start looking for a new place to live he threatens to kill himself then lays the worse guilt trip on me ever, "your all i have left, your sisiters gone your mums gone, you hate me you want me dead" etc. He's driving me mad he was in hospital during the week and they found an abnormality on his lung I don;t know what it is yet as the test results haven't came threw but its hurts to watch him kill himself right on my front door. I wish I had the strength to kick him out i'm not well at the moment and hes extra stress. I'm the lowest i've been in years, its even driving a wedge between me and my bf who i'm afraid i'll lose as i'm taking frustrations out on him.
I better stop now I've took up enough of peoples time so far.
Well i've always been quite independent and worked my butt off to get my own house by age 20, before then i lived in carpped little flats, shared houses and aftercare houses from I was 16. I lived with my grandparents from I was 12 as social services decided my parents where not fit as they where alcoholics, (my parents where given a shite load of chances before this happened but they basically loved drink more than me and my sister so they let social services place us in my mums parents house as instead of taking into foster care so they could save face and people wouldn't think we where really under a care order. They forgot to tell social services of course that my granda liked little girls a little too much.)
Well anyways over the next few years from I was 12 til 16 I hardly saw my dad as he usually blew off his visitations as he was in his words "too broke, the big game was on, or i'm too drunk" and my mum had slide into really bad drinking so the only times I saw here she was usually screaming and crying. My sister died when she was 15 threw solvent abuse and my dad promised things would change, he's see me every week without fail and we'd do something cinema etc that lasted about 3 months then it went back to the excuses so I just gave up and moved into after care as soon as a place opened up.
I did well for myself for the next 4 years, did ok at school since i wasn't as stressed, weened off my anti depressents and self harming, went travelling, made what I concider are my life long true friends (we see each other as sister more than friends) really found myself.
My mum eventually passed away due to her drinking by the time I was 20 and even though we wern't as close as I would have liked we made our peace before that. It hurt to watch her drink herself to death even if i did see her only maybe once a month at best. Not long after her death I got my own house.
I loved having my own space, i took real pride in my house and made it my own. Within 4 months of moving in my dad was at the door with the sob story that his gf had kicked him out and he'd nowhere to stay so could he stay in mine awhile. (strange he never made as much contact when i only had a shared house or crappy little one bedroom flat). His few weeks turned into 11 months. In which he only really worked 2 months so I had to pay he way the other 9 months. The strange thing is I prefered when he didn't work so he couldn't roll in pissed and stoned every night and get on my last nerve, eat my last slice of cheese I'd put aside for lunch or piss on my bathroom floor and not clean it up. In the end he moved out when his gf took him back, however I was in hospital at this point as I just found out I'd kidney and bladder problems and had all sorts of tubes hanging out of me and was very frightened, so basically the one time I actually needed him in the house he left.
I was waster (thats my name for him along with sponge and leech) free for just over a year and then he ended up back on my door with the same sob story, hes been here two years now and shows no sign of moving on and standing on his own two feet for once in his life instead of leeching of one woman to the next. This guy cn't work a washing machine, top up my gas or electric meters, ring a take away for himself (he's woken me out of my sleep to order him one while he goes to bed drunk so i've to wait on it and bring it upto him). He's been so stoned and drunk hes threw up in my livingroom and spare room and left it sitting there days until i finally cracked up and cleaned it up for him. (the matress he just turned over instead of disinfecting and its my good expensive mattress!!!). He'd mistaken my bedroom for the bathroom and pissed all over it (there one different Floors you idiot!!) oh and i wasn't home for that, my bf witnessed it and had to clean it up I've never been so embarrassed. He smokes disgusting cigars and laughs at he when I tell him not to smoke them in my house. I went away for the weekend and left him to look after the house, I came back to no electricity or toliet roll!! If he only works 4 days instaed of 5 he can't afford to pay keep!! Its not like he has any bills to pay but he can roll in 7 days a week pissed out of his skull.
You might think why do I put up with him and so do I. Everytime i ask him to start looking for a new place to live he threatens to kill himself then lays the worse guilt trip on me ever, "your all i have left, your sisiters gone your mums gone, you hate me you want me dead" etc. He's driving me mad he was in hospital during the week and they found an abnormality on his lung I don;t know what it is yet as the test results haven't came threw but its hurts to watch him kill himself right on my front door. I wish I had the strength to kick him out i'm not well at the moment and hes extra stress. I'm the lowest i've been in years, its even driving a wedge between me and my bf who i'm afraid i'll lose as i'm taking frustrations out on him.
I better stop now I've took up enough of peoples time so far.
