Breaking up ain't easy to do

[NicksWifey]

I know I haven't been on very much lately, and doubt if I will be able to log in under this username anymore because Nick and I have officially ended it. Next Saturday would've been 2 years. Time really does fly. I can't really put a pinpoint on it to be exact, but I haven't been happy in months and I'm tired of pretending, tired of delaying the inevitable. It was bound to happen sooner or later. As much as I love Nick, I cannot continue to live with him and cannot even think about actually getting married. He asked me to keep my ring, but I do not want it. He said he wants me to wear it still. How the hell can I wear a diamond engagement ring around when I'm no longer in a relationship? For now, I've been wearing it on my right hand but I just want to store it away. It no longer brings me memories of joy or fuzzy feelings when I stare at it, just anguish.
I always thought he was my "one & only", my true soul mate, but I realize that it's not the case.
Many things contributed to the factor, but I haven't been sexually active with him since right after Christmas. TMI, I know, but I have had a horribly low sex drive ever since having my thyroid taken out and I feel like my thyroid hormone medicine has contributed as well. NOTHING turns me on anymore and NOBODY turns me on. I feel like I've just dried up and hit menopause. I can no longer deny him sex, as we know how men are with their sexual needs. I can no longer make him miserable so we ended it.

It sucks, because of the kitten he got me for Christmas, but I'm taking him back with me to my parents house. My parents are welcoming me back with open arms, but it's killing me. We will officially be moved out by next weekend, even though we are still living together for the time being, trying to get loose ends tied up and all of ducks in a row before completely vacating our apartment.

Even though it hurts and I've cried a lot, I still have a feeling that a 500 pound weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Thanks for listening

 

[meaghan<3]

Brittney --
First let me say that though it may be hard right now, you know that the future will only get better!! I've never personally gone through this, so I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but you're a strong person and you will be just fine on your own and living with your parents!! I wish you lots of luck and don't ever shy away from us here -- we're always here to support you!!

 

[pdtb050606]

Break-ups are always tough, but if you know you're making the right decision just give yourself time to heal. I've read your previous posts and it sounds like you were going through a lot. I had an ex want me to keep my ring and it only kept me in that "sad place" When you're ready put it away in a special place--that's the only time I was really able to start moving forward. Anyway, I hope you get through everything ok, it's always hard packing up and moving back home but I wish you nothing but happiness!

 

[kimmy]

aww, brittney i'm sorry to see this happening. i hate knowing you have to end things, but still feeling torn up about it...i hope the feeling passes soon and at least you're already feeling some of the weight being lifted. maybe there will be a day when things between you and him can work, and maybe it just isn't the right time, you know?

maaaaany hugs! <3

 

[MissMochaXOXO]

good luck with evereything.

if u feel relieved, then it probaly was the right choice to split up. take this time for urself now and do whatever u can to get back to feeling good.

 

[MissLorsie]

Hey Brittney,

I just sent you a pm... Im going through a similar predicament so i understand what you are going through..

It gets easier, trust me on that

Im here if you need to chat...

 

[coachkitten]

Brittney I know very well what you are going through as Ryan and I just broke up a few weeks ago. Even though it is the right thing to do it still brings on a whole roller coaster of emotions. It is really hard. I have had you on my mind A LOT lately wondering how you were doing.

I think that you made the right decision even though it might hurt. I love you very much and please know that you can e-mail me anytime. In fact I am going to e-mail you right now!

 

[NicksWifey]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and support

It truly does help.

In the last couple of weeks, everything seemed to fall in place for me. I was able to get more hours in my main department at the hospital, not enough for full-time and then I got offered another job at the hospital, for additional hours which has finally put me at full-time status which means I have full-time benefits. I have to work 6 days a week now, but I get every other weekend off, which is nice.
It's just a shame that it couldn't work out, but sometimes in order for good things to happen [like getting more hours at the hospital so I'm considered full-time], bad things come along with it.

I have been in a few minor relationships before and even though I hated both of the jerks in my past, I had a hard time getting over it. However with Nick, he has tried for the most part, to remain friends with all of his exes. He is hoping that we can remain friends and still have love for each other and care about each other. I hope I can do that, but it just seems hard.

 

[MacAddict_Sami]

*BigHug*

I am sorry that you are going through this darling; You are a STRONG woman and will get through this and be even stronger!!! Make sure that you're always putting yourself first and making sure that you are happy!!! We'll all be here to support you and hopefully make the transition a little easier...

We All Love You & Are Here For You!!!

 

[saki]

Distraction helps make time fly by even faster, so working and going out with friends will help a lot.

As long as you're happy is all that matters.

*hugs*

 

[chocolategoddes]

I have no advice for you but I'm so sorry. You guys must've really loved each other and it's always difficult to make such a dramatic change in your life like breaking up with someone you've been with for that amount of time.
But as long as it feels like the "right" thing to do, then it'll probably end up being the "best" thing to do.

 

[Hilly]

I've missed you! I'm sorry to hear about you and Nick- but im glad you ended it now rather than down the line after yall are married with kids and stuff like that. It will get easier!! Loe on your lil kitty, Mac, and it will be alright!

 

[jenntoz]

Truthfully, I think its very good that you realized your feeling now before anymore time has passed. Once you got married it would be even harder to leave the relationship & there is no reason to stay in something that does not make you happy anymore. Its hard to leave any relationship cause the person becomes such a big part of our life, its almost like a bad habit...so hard to give up, but we know its best if we do. We're all here for you! xoxoxoxo

 

[purrtykitty]

Oh, Brittney, I am so sorry.

I'm glad that you did what you felt was best for you. There is nothing more difficult that staying in a relationship because you feel you have to, and I'm glad you realized it before getting married. You deserve to have the best in life, and you will certainly find him.

I hope that you are feeling better in all aspects of your life. We're here for you!

 

[chiquilla_loca]

I'm so sorry for your pain, sweetie. It will get better for you.
I was in a relationship that lasted almost 6yrs and I know that I tried to hold on for so long, hoping it would get better, but it had been long over.
2 years is a long time, but I'm sure you'll get through this...
Keep your family & friends close during this difficult change, it's for the best. Your happiness is what matters!
Sending lots of love & support your way.

 

[Dahlia_Rayn]

Big hugs sweetheart! I know it hurts so bad right now, but if you truly feel relieved then it was the right choice! You've been through so much, and I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Nick may want to be friends right away, but that can just confuse things until the wound heals a little. Let yourself heal a little while before you try and cross that bridge with him. We're all pulling for you!

 

[nunu]

Britney i am so sorry to hear this.

 

[NutMeg]

Oh honey, I'm so sorry that you're hurting. I know even if you feel like it's the right decision, it's still so hard to get over. Take your time, and don't be hard on yourself. If you can't handle being friends with him right away or ever... Don't feel bad about that. Other than that, *hug* You know we're here to listen if you need to vent.

 

[gigglegirl]

Brittney--you are such a strong woman, with all you've had to go through in the past year, and I commend you for taking this step. Its hard, but you have to do whats right for you both, and I wish you all the best! I'm thinking about you and sending you good vibes!!

 

[TISH1124]

Britney, I am so sorry baby girl!! Breakups are never easy when you love someone.

I did not have thyroid surgery but I did have a surgical procedure on my cervix that left me pretty much feeling the same way....The procedure made me have a hormone imbalance.....so I had to go and have that taken care of...Since having treatment for that...things are back to normal and actually a little better than normal...Perhaps ask your doctor to test you to see if your homones are imbalanced.
I am giving you a big huge and just take one day at a time ...one breath at a tiem and you will be fine...you are a strong beautiful woman!