Breastfeeding in public
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SkylarV217
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
Because you are the one that has a problem with a very legal practice. While you may not like it, the law is on the lactating mothers and feeding infants side. Believe it or not the mothers are not feeding their children in public b/c they want you to see them. And Furthermore, if you advert your eyes, you lessen the chance of seeing something you wish not to see.
Its one of those things that no matter how hard you try to be modest, sometimes things happen. You can't control babies, sometimes they move. And while you don't want to see a women's breast in public, that woman probably doesn't want you to see it either.
When someone is smoking in public, i move away from them. I don't like it and don't want to be around it. Since i suppose the smoker has every right to smoke, I move away. When I see a Breast Feeding mother I try not to stare and look away, b/c we are both women, both mothers in my case and I would like to be courteous to her.
On the matter of rude women ... we all know they are out there and they do other things that breast feeding. We shouldn't attack all breast feeding women b/c some of them are rude . As for them , I still try to be a bigger person and simply be courteous to them after all I don't know what that women is dealing with ... Being a new mother is difficult , I would rather not make something she may not particular want to be doing at that moment more difficult for her... after all we could all use compassion every once in a while.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fafinette21
As in, why should I have to studiously avert my gaze when I should be able to look around however I please. |
Because you are the one that has a problem with a very legal practice. While you may not like it, the law is on the lactating mothers and feeding infants side. Believe it or not the mothers are not feeding their children in public b/c they want you to see them. And Furthermore, if you advert your eyes, you lessen the chance of seeing something you wish not to see.
Its one of those things that no matter how hard you try to be modest, sometimes things happen. You can't control babies, sometimes they move. And while you don't want to see a women's breast in public, that woman probably doesn't want you to see it either.
When someone is smoking in public, i move away from them. I don't like it and don't want to be around it. Since i suppose the smoker has every right to smoke, I move away. When I see a Breast Feeding mother I try not to stare and look away, b/c we are both women, both mothers in my case and I would like to be courteous to her.
On the matter of rude women ... we all know they are out there and they do other things that breast feeding. We shouldn't attack all breast feeding women b/c some of them are rude . As for them , I still try to be a bigger person and simply be courteous to them after all I don't know what that women is dealing with ... Being a new mother is difficult , I would rather not make something she may not particular want to be doing at that moment more difficult for her... after all we could all use compassion every once in a while.
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
That's just a people problem. Some people are on the defense. I've had people scream at me because they thought I was staring at them for being black or Latina. I wasn't, I didn't even notice them.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by fafinette21
My point with that statement was kind of like, I shouldn't have to worry about whether or not some mother is going to be offended if I look in their direction. It's like some women put it out there and when anyone even glances at them passingly they're all up on their high horse about people staring at them. So it's like, if you don't want anyone looking at you period, then go somewhere private. |
That's just a people problem. Some people are on the defense. I've had people scream at me because they thought I was staring at them for being black or Latina. I wasn't, I didn't even notice them.
DirtyHarriet
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
REALLY????
I urge you to educate yourself about the biology of breastfeeding before you make statements like that again. And certainly before you have any children of your own.
If breastfeeding wasn't natural you wouldn't have breasts filled with milk after you give birth. And mom's milk is MUCH better for a growing baby than ANY other source of food.
Indeed, the FDA has recently regulated that formula makers can not claim that their formula provides the same nutrition as mother's milk. Furthermore, they can no longer claim that it is complete nutrition.
Why?
Because formula is not the natural normal way to feed a baby. I'm not chastising mothers who did breastfeed here. There are many perfectly valid reasons why a mother makes that choice.
But NOTHING beats breast milk for a newborn. NOTHING.
That is not an opinion.
That is a biological FACT.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by sharkbytes
It is your personal opinion that it is a natural normal thing to do, and you haven't allowed for the possibility that not everyone agrees with your opinion. |
REALLY????
I urge you to educate yourself about the biology of breastfeeding before you make statements like that again. And certainly before you have any children of your own.
If breastfeeding wasn't natural you wouldn't have breasts filled with milk after you give birth. And mom's milk is MUCH better for a growing baby than ANY other source of food.
Indeed, the FDA has recently regulated that formula makers can not claim that their formula provides the same nutrition as mother's milk. Furthermore, they can no longer claim that it is complete nutrition.
Why?
Because formula is not the natural normal way to feed a baby. I'm not chastising mothers who did breastfeed here. There are many perfectly valid reasons why a mother makes that choice.
But NOTHING beats breast milk for a newborn. NOTHING.
That is not an opinion.
That is a biological FACT.
fafinette21
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
I think she is referring to doing it in public. Not trying to debate whether the actual act of breastfeeding is natural.
I think she is referring to doing it in public. Not trying to debate whether the actual act of breastfeeding is natural.
GreekChick
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
The biology of breastfeeding and the natural aspect of it isn't the subject here...
Of course, we all know it's natural. I just don't understand what biological facts have to do with the OP's post.
The biology of breastfeeding and the natural aspect of it isn't the subject here...
Of course, we all know it's natural. I just don't understand what biological facts have to do with the OP's post.
purrtykitty
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
It's natural to some mothers. Shimmer stated in an earlier post that it wasn't natural to her. Just because one makes milk, doesn't necessarily mean that she's automatically going to find breastfeeding is "natural" to her.
It's natural to some mothers. Shimmer stated in an earlier post that it wasn't natural to her. Just because one makes milk, doesn't necessarily mean that she's automatically going to find breastfeeding is "natural" to her.
DirtyHarriet
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
^ Yes, it's natural. It's eating. It's the best mode of eating a baby can do. Someone walking through a mall eating an apple doesn't get disapproving glances.
The original post is about a rude lady in a shoe store. She is rude because she's trying to do too many things at the same time. She should feed her child, then pick out shoes (similarly to if she was on the phone the whole time she was picking out shoes). But there is a difference between disapproving of someone's rudeness and their choice to feed her child.
She should also not be chastised for feeding her baby in public because people have hangups with seeing a baby eat. See, it is natural for a baby to eat from a breast. And you can't expect a mother to stay at home 24/7 to feed her child. As such, that woman will undoubtedly have to feed that child somewhere other than home.
The bottom line is that we should be supportive and encouraging to mothers who choose to breastfeed. And at the very least we should be understanding.
^ Yes, it's natural. It's eating. It's the best mode of eating a baby can do. Someone walking through a mall eating an apple doesn't get disapproving glances.
The original post is about a rude lady in a shoe store. She is rude because she's trying to do too many things at the same time. She should feed her child, then pick out shoes (similarly to if she was on the phone the whole time she was picking out shoes). But there is a difference between disapproving of someone's rudeness and their choice to feed her child.
She should also not be chastised for feeding her baby in public because people have hangups with seeing a baby eat. See, it is natural for a baby to eat from a breast. And you can't expect a mother to stay at home 24/7 to feed her child. As such, that woman will undoubtedly have to feed that child somewhere other than home.
The bottom line is that we should be supportive and encouraging to mothers who choose to breastfeed. And at the very least we should be understanding.
purrtykitty
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
I'm not at all saying we shouldn't be supportive. I'm saying that even with all the biological signs pointing toward breastfeeding, some mothers just cannot find that connection to do that for their child. Breastfeeding doesn't feel natural to them.
I'm not at all saying we shouldn't be supportive. I'm saying that even with all the biological signs pointing toward breastfeeding, some mothers just cannot find that connection to do that for their child. Breastfeeding doesn't feel natural to them.
Shimmer
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
I can do without the judgmental tone, thanks.
Second, feeding time is about bonding with your child. I hated breastfeeding so much I didn't bond. I loathed the whole process. It simply wasn't for me.
That doesn't make me a bad mother, it doesn't make me a bad person, and it doesn't make any of my kids worse off. It means I didn't do what some people wanted me to do.
That said, a mother's choice is a mother's choice, and hell with anyone who thinks differently.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by DirtyHarriet
^ Yes, it's natural. It's eating. It's the best mode of eating a baby can do. |
I can do without the judgmental tone, thanks.
Second, feeding time is about bonding with your child. I hated breastfeeding so much I didn't bond. I loathed the whole process. It simply wasn't for me.
That doesn't make me a bad mother, it doesn't make me a bad person, and it doesn't make any of my kids worse off. It means I didn't do what some people wanted me to do.
That said, a mother's choice is a mother's choice, and hell with anyone who thinks differently.
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
I don't think the O.P. said the "rude lady" in the store.
I do think that the O.P. thought it was inappropriate for the customer to ask for some shoes then ask her to put it on her feet because she was breast feeding her child.
I can understand why the O.P. would feel uncomfortable with that. Yes, you do work in retail but it does not mean you have to put the shoe on for a customer then proceed to be faced with a breast in your face b/c you're trying to communicate with them.
The O.P. may have felt uneasy so it's totally understandable why she would feel that way. Hell, I think I would have. haha
Quote:
| Originally Posted by DirtyHarriet
The original post is about a rude lady in a shoe store. She is rude because she's trying to do too many things at the same time. She should feed her child, then pick out shoes (similarly to if she was on the phone the whole time she was picking out shoes). But there is a difference between disapproving of someone's rudeness and their choice to feed her child. |
I don't think the O.P. said the "rude lady" in the store.
I do think that the O.P. thought it was inappropriate for the customer to ask for some shoes then ask her to put it on her feet because she was breast feeding her child.
I can understand why the O.P. would feel uncomfortable with that. Yes, you do work in retail but it does not mean you have to put the shoe on for a customer then proceed to be faced with a breast in your face b/c you're trying to communicate with them.
The O.P. may have felt uneasy so it's totally understandable why she would feel that way. Hell, I think I would have. haha
fafinette21
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
The problem with the lady in the OP post was that she wasn't giving the OP the choice to "look away" as many people have suggested. It was in her face and she had to deal with it. And if it made her uncomfortable, she shouldn't have had to do that.
The problem with the lady in the OP post was that she wasn't giving the OP the choice to "look away" as many people have suggested. It was in her face and she had to deal with it. And if it made her uncomfortable, she shouldn't have had to do that.
reverieinbflat
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Obviously, some people are realizing that breastfeeding can be as hot as a topic as abortion, gay marriage, or gun control. This just isn't as political. Mothers care about this topic.
My mom was born lactose intolerant, and couldn't breastfeed. She had to have soy formula in the 60s, which was very expensive on my grandma. There are situations that can make it impossible for the child to breastfeed, but that's besides the point of this argument.
I don't know how I'd feel about a mother breastfeeding as I was trying to take her order at work, but I think I'd like that better than hearing the kid cry while having her fumbling around looking for the bottle to feed it with.
You just never know when your kid is going to be hungry, and that why their food is attached to the mom.
Obviously, some people are realizing that breastfeeding can be as hot as a topic as abortion, gay marriage, or gun control. This just isn't as political. Mothers care about this topic.
My mom was born lactose intolerant, and couldn't breastfeed. She had to have soy formula in the 60s, which was very expensive on my grandma. There are situations that can make it impossible for the child to breastfeed, but that's besides the point of this argument.
I don't know how I'd feel about a mother breastfeeding as I was trying to take her order at work, but I think I'd like that better than hearing the kid cry while having her fumbling around looking for the bottle to feed it with.
You just never know when your kid is going to be hungry, and that why their food is attached to the mom.
DirtyHarriet
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
Not being judgmental. Just stating a biological fact - biologically, breast milk is better for your baby. As I already said in a previous post, I'm not knocking moms who chose not to breast feed at all. I'm not saying you're a bad person. And I agree with you that it's a mom's choice. I don't give mothers who give their children bottles dirty looks just as I don't give moms who breastfeed dirty looks. I'm simply saying that they're equivalent, and should be viewed equivalently when done in public.
I'm sorry I'm not making myself clear, but I hope this clears things up. I am in no way attacking women who don't breastfeed. I'm simply saying that feeding your baby is feeding your baby. There is nothing wrong, or disturbing, or unnatural when it comes out of mom's breast. And it saddens me that there this is not a widely accepted view.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by Shimmer
I can do without the judgmental tone, thanks. . |
Not being judgmental. Just stating a biological fact - biologically, breast milk is better for your baby. As I already said in a previous post, I'm not knocking moms who chose not to breast feed at all. I'm not saying you're a bad person. And I agree with you that it's a mom's choice. I don't give mothers who give their children bottles dirty looks just as I don't give moms who breastfeed dirty looks. I'm simply saying that they're equivalent, and should be viewed equivalently when done in public.
I'm sorry I'm not making myself clear, but I hope this clears things up. I am in no way attacking women who don't breastfeed. I'm simply saying that feeding your baby is feeding your baby. There is nothing wrong, or disturbing, or unnatural when it comes out of mom's breast. And it saddens me that there this is not a widely accepted view.
xStarryEyedX
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
Quote:
| Originally Posted by patty0411
I don't think the O.P. said the "rude lady" in the store. I do think that the O.P. thought it was inappropriate for the customer to ask for some shoes then ask her to put it on her feet because she was breast feeding her child. I can understand why the O.P. would feel uncomfortable with that. Yes, you do work in retail but it does not mean you have to put the shoe on for a customer then proceed to be faced with a breast in your face b/c you're trying to communicate with them. The O.P. may have felt uneasy so it's totally understandable why she would feel that way. Hell, I think I would have. haha |
DirtyHarriet
Well-known member
sharkbytes
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
Ok, you seriously need to just step back for a second because that's incredibly insulting. How dare you imply that I'd be a crappy mother because I don't particularly like seeing people breastfeed in crowded public areas? I've said a MILLION times in this thread that I'm not criticizing breastfeeding. AT ALL. I know that breast milk is best, I'm not actually a complete child-hating moron. I just think that people could be a bit more courteous when they are breastfeeding in public. I don't disagree with breast feeding in public, for the millionth time. I do disagree with women who have the "anyplace, anytime, no matter who it inconveiniences" attitude. If you're breastfeeding on a crowded sidewalk where people are trying to get through, and shooting daggers at anyone who dares look at you, it's RUDE. I don't care how *natural and magical* it is.
So next time you make a post picking apart someone's arguments, I suggest you actually read all of them, and educate ~yourself.~ That one point I made was just an example, and if you'd bother to read the entire exchange before jumping down my throat, you'd realize that.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by DirtyHarriet
REALLY???? I urge you to educate yourself about the biology of breastfeeding before you make statements like that again. And certainly before you have any children of your own. If breastfeeding wasn't natural you wouldn't have breasts filled with milk after you give birth. And mom's milk is MUCH better for a growing baby than ANY other source of food. Indeed, the FDA has recently regulated that formula makers can not claim that their formula provides the same nutrition as mother's milk. Furthermore, they can no longer claim that it is complete nutrition. Why? Because formula is not the natural normal way to feed a baby. I'm not chastising mothers who did breastfeed here. There are many perfectly valid reasons why a mother makes that choice. But NOTHING beats breast milk for a newborn. NOTHING. That is not an opinion. That is a biological FACT. |
Ok, you seriously need to just step back for a second because that's incredibly insulting. How dare you imply that I'd be a crappy mother because I don't particularly like seeing people breastfeed in crowded public areas? I've said a MILLION times in this thread that I'm not criticizing breastfeeding. AT ALL. I know that breast milk is best, I'm not actually a complete child-hating moron. I just think that people could be a bit more courteous when they are breastfeeding in public. I don't disagree with breast feeding in public, for the millionth time. I do disagree with women who have the "anyplace, anytime, no matter who it inconveiniences" attitude. If you're breastfeeding on a crowded sidewalk where people are trying to get through, and shooting daggers at anyone who dares look at you, it's RUDE. I don't care how *natural and magical* it is.
So next time you make a post picking apart someone's arguments, I suggest you actually read all of them, and educate ~yourself.~ That one point I made was just an example, and if you'd bother to read the entire exchange before jumping down my throat, you'd realize that.
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
She could excuse herself instead of insisting that the girl help her. I know it's a sales assistant's job to help people, but I also don't like taking advantage of their time. Especially if they're commission-based or have to meet quotas, their time is their money and it's wrong for me to take excessive time because of talking on the phone, for instance, even if it is important. You should be allowed to breastfeed in public, but the point is be considerate of others. It's not because people may see your breast; in this story, it's taking someone's time up.
I think the OP only mentioned the breast feeding because well, that's what happened.
Quote:
| I don't know how I'd feel about a mother breastfeeding as I was trying to take her order at work, but I think I'd like that better than hearing the kid cry while having her fumbling around looking for the bottle to feed it with. |
She could excuse herself instead of insisting that the girl help her. I know it's a sales assistant's job to help people, but I also don't like taking advantage of their time. Especially if they're commission-based or have to meet quotas, their time is their money and it's wrong for me to take excessive time because of talking on the phone, for instance, even if it is important. You should be allowed to breastfeed in public, but the point is be considerate of others. It's not because people may see your breast; in this story, it's taking someone's time up.
I think the OP only mentioned the breast feeding because well, that's what happened.
ratmist
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
She did have the choice to speak to her manager about her situation if she was uncomfortable or felt unable to do her job. A simple, "Please excuse me," to that customer, and she could've easily gone to her manager or asked a colleague to take care of the woman, if she felt utterly incapable of handling herself.
Pathetic.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by fafinette21
The problem with the lady in the OP post was that she wasn't giving the OP the choice to "look away" as many people have suggested. It was in her face and she had to deal with it. And if it made her uncomfortable, she shouldn't have had to do that. |
She did have the choice to speak to her manager about her situation if she was uncomfortable or felt unable to do her job. A simple, "Please excuse me," to that customer, and she could've easily gone to her manager or asked a colleague to take care of the woman, if she felt utterly incapable of handling herself.
Pathetic.
ratmist
Well-known member
Re: Breastfeeding (moved from Industry Discussion)
Quote:
The problem I have with your arguments is that there is no definitive line for what's considered rude with breastfeeding and what isn't.
For every person like yourself that simply wants a breastfeeding mother to get off or move aside from a busy sidewalk, there are those that simply don't want to see it at all, anywhere, in a public area.
You mentioned a food court or nursing room. Again, if there are nursing rooms available to me and it's convenient for me to use them, I'll happily use it. As for food courts though, anywhere food-related is a prime target for some people to feel uncomfortable. Just like your sidewalk argument, plenty of people will say they don't want to see a mother breastfeeding where they have to eat, such as in a restaurant or food court.
Bottom line, I am very dubious of arguments like, "Be more courteous" and "Be more respectful of others" when it comes to breastfeeding because everyone will have an opinion on whether or not the situation a woman finds herself in is appropriate to breastfeed or not. It's not black and white. So if I'm constantly thinking to myself, "Is someone around me going to be offended if I feed my child?", I'm never going to leave the damned house, because of course someone is going to be offended because that's just how ignorant folk roll.
Quote:
| Originally Posted by sharkbytes
Ok, you seriously need to just step back for a second because that's incredibly insulting. How dare you imply that I'd be a crappy mother because I don't particularly like seeing people breastfeed in crowded public areas? I've said a MILLION times in this thread that I'm not criticizing breastfeeding. AT ALL. I know that breast milk is best, I'm not actually a complete child-hating moron. I just think that people could be a bit more courteous when they are breastfeeding in public. I don't disagree with breast feeding in public, for the millionth time. I do disagree with women who have the "anyplace, anytime, no matter who it inconveiniences" attitude. If you're breastfeeding on a crowded sidewalk where people are trying to get through, and shooting daggers at anyone who dares look at you, it's RUDE. I don't care how *natural and magical* it is. So next time you make a post picking apart someone's arguments, I suggest you actually read all of them, and educate ~yourself.~ That one point I made was just an example, and if you'd bother to read the entire exchange before jumping down my throat, you'd realize that. |
The problem I have with your arguments is that there is no definitive line for what's considered rude with breastfeeding and what isn't.
For every person like yourself that simply wants a breastfeeding mother to get off or move aside from a busy sidewalk, there are those that simply don't want to see it at all, anywhere, in a public area.
You mentioned a food court or nursing room. Again, if there are nursing rooms available to me and it's convenient for me to use them, I'll happily use it. As for food courts though, anywhere food-related is a prime target for some people to feel uncomfortable. Just like your sidewalk argument, plenty of people will say they don't want to see a mother breastfeeding where they have to eat, such as in a restaurant or food court.
Bottom line, I am very dubious of arguments like, "Be more courteous" and "Be more respectful of others" when it comes to breastfeeding because everyone will have an opinion on whether or not the situation a woman finds herself in is appropriate to breastfeed or not. It's not black and white. So if I'm constantly thinking to myself, "Is someone around me going to be offended if I feed my child?", I'm never going to leave the damned house, because of course someone is going to be offended because that's just how ignorant folk roll.
