Bullied at work (long, please read)


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I am not the least bit helpful here....I just want to punch her in the mouth...


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Originally Posted by hickle
I guess I'm not very sympathetic because I feel like there is a lot of hype around the buzz word "bullying". As an adult, I don't care what other people think about me and who's saying what about me. I'm not the popular person in the office, and I mind my business. It serves me quite well.

I just don't believe you're as innocent as you claim to be. You were admittedly friends with this "bully" for a while. You didn't seem to have any problem with her behavior for a while, and then you started distancing yourself. I just think if you're were as virtuous as you're making yourself out to be, you would have told the woman in question her behavior was unacceptable long ago. In the back of my mind, I'm wondering how many she slandered to you, while you stood by idly. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, you're "the victim". I'm sorry, but that doesn't make you a sympathetic character in my eyes. Furthermore, you're getting all worked up about what she's saying about you to co-workers. Again, who cares? She called you a nasty name to someone, and someone repeated it. In my eyes, the person who's repeating that stuff to you is a bigger trouble maker than that girl. People gossip about one another. That's just what they do. For the most part, it's completely meaningless. If you like your job, you should focus on that and stop creating mountains out of mole hills.

Wow...where do I even start?

I made this thread because I was wondering how workplace bullying (also known as harassment) is handled at other establishments since I've never had any experience with it before. I DID NOT make this thread so that someone can come in and blame me for what's been going on. How dare you sit there and victim-blame someone; that's disgusting. So repulsive.

FYI: "Bullying" isn't just some word du jour, it's a problem and it's a problem that shouldn't be taken lightly. Have you ever heard about people going postal? Obviously not.

People have a right to work in a healthy, positive environment. There's no way in fucking hell someone's going to take that away from myself and my co-workers.


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Originally Posted by MzzRach
I think the original poster is asking a fair question. It's true, we do not know all sides of the story, but her questions are valid. I respect that people will have differing opinions of this scenario, but I think to state "who cares?" and "you're not as innocent as you claim to be" is over the line. The OP is obviously upset and is asking for other's opinions who may have gone through a similar situation.

That's all there is to the story. After a dark time I realized I no longer needed negative people in my life because they were holding me down...So I distanced myself from them, all of them. I did nothing wrong. Lying about the situation on here would be useless because the advice given wouldn't help much, now would it? No one here knows this girl, she truly is an awful person towards people she doesn't like.


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Just a reminder to all to please keep the discussion civil. As I stated before, everyone is entitled to their opinions, as long as they remain polite and have a healthy respect for other opinions.

Julia, I hope you get resolution for your situation soon.


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I suppose a question that begs to be asked is why didn't the company care about the sexual harassment allegation? Is it because they have bad HR policies? If it's because they have bad HR policies, then I highly doubt they're going to do anything about a "bullying" situation. The thing about any kind of conflict is that the burden of proof is upon the claimant.

I don't know the situation at all, but from what I've read, I would say that if they don't care about sexual harassment they don't care about bullying. Taking that into consideration with the fact that the initial post indicated that the position they held was desirable, I would simply advise to ignore the bully as best one can. If you want to keep your job, and you know the company doesn't care, that's you're only recourse. If you think you have overwhelming evidence, and I do mean overwhelming, then you can take your case to a lawyer who specializes in workplace harassment. Usually, you can get a consultation for free. A lawyer/paralegal will listen to your side of the events and then tell you what they think the best course of action is. However, if you choose to go this route, be prepared for adversity.

I get that most of you think I'm being rude and borderline uncivil. I'm just offering an outside of opinion. I don't believe in coddling people or hedging my words, and I'm sure whatever the initial poster decides to do, she'll be in for much more criticism then what I've demonstrated here.

I promise this is my last post on the subject.


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Companies will often initially try to ignore any kind of harassment claim (and even go so far as to try to squelch the issue by frightening the complainant, or discredit the complainant by rushing to get strikes against them on their file) because it's cheaper for them to do so than to risk being sued.

That's illegal, and it's the wrong route, but you'd be surprised how many people will back down. Because it's frightening having a corporation with unlimited legal resources threatening you, even if you know they have no case and you're in the right.


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My company wasn't like that at all.

And further more, if a woman is married to a man for 25 years and willingly has sex with him everyday and one day out of the blue, she doesn't want to...and he does it anyways, it's still considered rape. It's the same thing with harassment. Just because they started out friends doesn't mean that you're still not a victim.

When I was a child, I was put in group homes for abused kids. (My mom was a crack addict who was starving us and beating us half to death all the time.) I was eventually taken away. When I was 15, I tried to run away. While I was on "the streets", I lost my virginity to a rape. I held it in, but it was killing me. I told my older sister, and she told me to tell my Grandma. So, one night I did. Instead of having pity for me, she acted like it was my fault because I ran away. It just goes to show how misconstrued people's conceptions can be. Basically, long story short...if someone is doing something wrong to you, take action for it. You're still the victim, no matter what anyone thinks. Keep going to HR until they fix it. Log every thing that happens and keep them updated. If HR won't handle it, take it to the General Manager, or the VP or even the President if you have to. If that doesn't work, then call the (I'm not sure what it's called in Canada), numbers they should have given you to stop harassment. The company should come to your aid. If not, then there are laws to protect you.


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julia, what she is doing is definitely a form of harassment and bullying and like someone said she has said who knows what to your supervisor to have them on her side and also like mentioned someone in a higher up position of authority should be notified of these harassment because not to sound me but she's really coming of as some sort of psycho behaving the way she is, and there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to associate yourself with someone who is negative person, because no one needs to be around that, especially if you're an upbeat person, i actually was in a situation somewhat similar and i did take it to a higher authority figure, also i honestly think she could be jealousy of you because negative people like may not like the fact of someone who is positive and upbeat also i don't think she appreciated the fact you had a backbone and distance yourself from that, i really hope things smooth out so that you can have some peace of mind


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It's been several months now. Hope everything is somewhat decent at work. I've dealt with many bullies at work so I can understand your position. Hope all is well.

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