Do other females act hostile towards you (aka, why do girls hate me)?

[xxAngelxx]

I'm a nurse, so I wear scrubs to work. I'm also fairly thin but have a large chest (D-DD, depending on the time of the month lol), so I've been told I fill out my scrubs nicely... that I *look* like a woman. But whatever. I do my makeup nicely... nothing dramatic... my patients would think I was crazy if I wore smoky eyes and red lips haha. My hair is in a ponytail, its too long to be left down. And I try to wear cute scrubs.

I've been told that I'm a favorite of some of the male co-workers there. But I have a serious bf and they all know it.

I just found out last night that a couple CNAs were talking about me and how I look. Basically, they said I'm just there looking for man because I always look "too pretty to be a nurse." I didn't hear any of it, but another nurse told me.

Now I know why these certain CNAs always give me these nasty looks... I have some amazing female friends. I just don't understand why some women have to be so catty.

 

[AdlersMommy22]

Why are we bringing up such old topics? I mean its cool but, lol...

 

[Shimmer]

Subjects like this don't really ever 'go away'.
And, with the fairly constant admonitions that people use the 'search' function, I'm quite glad to see a thread revived instead of a redundant one created.

 

[Pascal]

A bunch of HATERS is all they are, Congrates to you and f**k the other bitches !!!

 

[MAC4TV]

Thank God I'm not alone...I'm dealing with this very same topic at work. Reading these posts make me feel so much better. Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to be nice and do things for other people. In a split second, they'll turn their backs on you or talk trash. I had a gal try to criticize me in front of my boss the other day...but, I've had problems with the men saying mean and hurtful things to my face that obviously show they are threatened.

 

[MissResha]

"Cant we all just get along?"

- (c) Rodney King

 

[Rondafaye]

I am a newspaper columnist and my column focuses on successful women -- female entrepreneurs, businesswomen, etc. I have found that, first of all, women are extremely competitive with other women in ways they are not competitive with men. Also, men often resent successful women. So, successful women in the workplace get it from all sides. It's not fair and it's not right, but it is simply the way it is.

Also, I often get emails or calls after I write about a woman in my column that go like this: "I read your article about XXX. I just thought you should know she's a bitch. Her employees hate her." My response is that being successful in business and being liked are not one and the same. And I don't think I would get the same calls and emails if I'd written about a man. Men in business are expected to be tough and smart and good decision-makers. Women are expected to be kind and nurturing and subservient.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

lol, I can so relate to this. I work in a male dominated field but in everyday life 3 out of 5 women I meet don't seem to warm up to me right away. Usually after they get to know me it becomes a non-issue. But somehow not to start with :/

 

[MsNyse]

In every setting there will always be at least one someone who finds flaws in others. We all have a role to play in this game called life. If they are talking about you then you must be doing something right. Don't lower your standards by stooping to their level and second guessing yourself. Hold your head up and continue to let your haters be your motivators.

P.S. Btw congratulations on your promotion.

 

[rimberry]

I get this all the time, I guess because I really don't talk much and people assume im stuck up or something. Im absolutely not I just keep to myself and only talk when I actually have something to say.

 

[makeupbydeidra]

I usually find that this happens to me at work. (usually with older women- they usually hate me or make me their daughter) I'm not sure if its because they feel threatened - as if their position isn't secure anymore if someone younger or more educated is coming in and making an impact. I mean, when u do a job for so long sometimes you know so much and it becomes so redundant that nothing is fresh or enjoyable about it anymore, but you still have this prior claim on it-like its "yours" I think thats how these older women feel about their "territory" so to speak. Thats why they try to tear you down, instead of trying to work harmoniously with you. its easier than trying to compete by doing a better job. Never had issues with women my own age. They seem to get me or they leave me alone, which suits me just fine.

 

[BEA2LS]

It's funny, i saw this alot in life, mostly in high school. i didn't realize it at the time but looking back, they were so jealous. only i didn't have high self esteem and never realized it.
i look alot different now than i did than - i put on weight, for one. i always was a bit chubby but gained alot of weight in college. but back than i thought i was huge and thought thats why girls didnt like me. i was most likely wrong.

 

[k.a.t]

Now that i'm in college, i've noticed how i get a lot of 'looks' from other girls around and i don't get a very positive vibe from them - although no-one has said anything to me, which is good coz i'm a bit of a coward lol. I think I give off a bad first impression, people always assume i'm bitchy and stuck up when which isn't the case at all, actually i'm the total opposite lol I think it's because i'm a really quiet person at first and i'm quite shy so i won't really approach someone and start talking away.. (when you get to know me though you will have a hard time getting me to shut up

)
It's really unfortuante because they don't even give me a chance and get to know me before they make any judgements but i guess a lot of people are just like that, and i wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who's like that anyway. Hooray for the people that don't judge based solely on first impressions.

 

[PMBG83]

Let me say first of all you sound nice and good luck in your new career. Its happened to me but usually once they get to know you cant stop them from wanting to make their work schedule coincide with mine all the way to having a girls night out. Im an observer more than anything, and Ive watched girls give snide looks to talking "greasy" out the sides of their necks. Then once they get to know me the reasons for the looks or the comments all ran from "Oh Im afraid of little ppl I heard they are ferocious"(initially they were probably trying to get their bluff in on me and were sadly mistaken"), "You looked like you didnt want to be bothered"(Im mostly always nonchalant passive or indifferent looking Ive been told) to the good ole "You talk act sound" etc. Even though this has happened quite a few times in the past whereas when I was younger I found some chick staring at me Id stare right back at her, now I just dont find myself caring as much, although that doenst mean I wont straighten stuff out if need be. Again I wouldnt put too much stock into the rubber neckers at you place of emplyment.

 

[MAC_Diva]

That definately sounds like my life's story. People hate me for breathing. I guess I like to feel important and have an answer for everything, but it makes me feel so guilty to actually say it out loud. I like being the one people come to with questions, it makes me feel like i'm important.

I also work on an all girl job with only a couple of males, and it's soooo clicky!! You just have to look at it, as you shouldn't try to make friends with the people you work with because they will end up hurting you some how. You can be friendly with them, which I do, but i really can't trust any of them. When everyone goes out to hang out and go to dinner, they never invite me. I'm guess i'm kind of independent that way.

I hope everything goes well for you! just ignore them and keep at what your doing. Your the one that is going to get that promotion and the most respect. Those girls are just lazy and want everything handed to them on a silver plate, so they look to you (and me) as that confident girl, (arrogant to them), and are simply jealous.

 

[CandiGirl21]

Long Story...

When I was in elementary school, girls didn't talk to me at all. Whenever I approach them for conversation. Pure silence... I didn't get embarrassed, but I did however, kept to myself through those eight years. Although I did have one girl whom tried to scuff my shoes in gym class before... Least to say she always tried to make conversation too. Hmmm? That sounds like a phony/jealous bitch to me..

In high school, I thought it was going to be different. Wrong! It got worst this time girls had other girls to help them with the bitchiness. Yep, it was like a damn tag team at times. I even remember have beef with another girl and one girls whom I was "cool" with at the time, got mad at me for wanting to do a biology project myself so she took it upon herself to befriend the girl that she knew I had beef with....Hmmm? Sounds like she was just trying to get back at me for choosing to do the project by myself. It was funny too. She never did shit with me for the project and chose to get mad? So happy I received a B+!

Another incident started when I tried to befriend another chick. Yeah this one through me for a loop. She was funny as hell. She did however, spread everyone's business around and made jokes and rumors too. I didn't think she'd do it to me because she said we were friends!! (LOL I was so sheltered growing up!). Anyways, I used to call her all the times. I wanted to hang out, but she was too busy with her crew to even talk to me. She held parties, but told me about them after she hosted them...Ironic, right...right..?!

Well no! I noticed a connection with these failed friendships...I was the one choosing terrible friendships. Even though there were times where I could just walk into a room a couple of girls won't like me for my appearance or the way I talk...(I love the idea of women sticking together...that could never happen if one is confident and the other is insecure), some women don't like themselves enough to become friends with someone they put on a pedestal. All the the girls I went to school with, all lack true confidence and/or really didn't wanna be friends. I'm glad I'm around real women...until I long on the net though...lol

My question is, why don't some women learn to mask their hate/jealousy without being phony? Why must they show their ass?

 

[LMD84]

funny i should stumble across trhis topic because the other day at work the lads were talking about a certain celebrity and i commented that i didn't like her very much because i think she's an attention seeking whore to be honest!! and the youngest lad of 18 says "well louise you wouldn't like her because all women hate other women that are prettier than them!"

i was shocked to be honest! yes the celeb that we were talking about is much prettier than me (and so she should be after all the stylists and make up artists she has access to!) i thought it's so random that he said that but maybe there is some truth in it. but not all women are like that! generally i try and be nice to people, i try not to hate and be jealous as i always remember the boomerang effect.

i do get envious of some women but not so much that it would make me act like a bitch to them and just generally not be a nice person...

 

[ClaireAvril]

Women are always so jealous.. a lot of them are insecure about themselves and they HAVE to talk shit about other people to make themselves feel better. Some of them will try to rip you apart as much as they can just to make themselves feel better. EF them all! Go to work.. do your best and leave.. go to school - work your ass off and leave. These people are too concerned about other people when they should be worried about themselves. I can't stand that.

 

[krt]

As much as it sucks for you..and anyone in that situation...imagine how much the burden of the jealousy and bitterness is on them. Its really their problem. I do understand how angry it can make someone who doesn't deserve the animosity.

Sometimes it can be deserved though....This more than likely isn't you, I'm just giving you an example of this sort of deserved attention.

I'm in no way implying that this is you, Ive only met a few people even remotely like this, but I do know of this girl who complains of the same thing. Yet..I don't even know how to begin to describe how vain she is..she is possibly the most shallow, self obsessed human Ive ever known of, she has made a nickname of herself based off of her "beauty", her myspaces background is a big picture of her ..with a picture of herself under every interest category, you literally cannot have a conversation with her where she doesn't find an opportunity to bring herself...and how beautiful she is..into it.
That or she'll bring up Angelina Jolie because she is convinced that she looks just like her, and tries oh so hard to look just like her...under almost all of her pictures (which there are over 100 so I haven't looked at all of them) she has captions like "stunningly beautiful" "mysterious beauty".
It really is ridiculous..when she loses her looks.....I really feel bad for her after that, because this girl literally has nothing else that matters to her.
No intellectual curiosities whatsoever..and she wonders why people don't like her. Its like there is a whole world out there, your just one person, get over yourself. I couldn't tell her that without being a "hater".
So I can completely understand nobody wanting to be around someone like that.
She shrugs it off as "haters" or "jealous bitches" because of course, someone that self-obsessed would.
She is honestly nowhere near as attractive as she thinks she is (you'd have to be drop dead gorgeous to balance out that sort of ego of mass proportions) and eh..Ill stop there but you get the point. Girls like that.....I can get why women (or anyone) aren't particularly interested in being friendly to.

Women like that deserve a figurative slap in the face, something needs to make them think.

She also wonders why her relationships never last..hmmm

 

[FullWroth]

^^ What KRT said. Bingo.

Another problem I have with the whole "women are so catty" business is that it's almost always women saying it, and not realizing how catty and self-centered that makes THEM sound, because the implication in that statement is "all women EXCEPT ME are so catty." That's one hell of an ego there - everyone thinks every other woman EXCEPT THEM is a horrible conniving bitch out to get them? Reeeeeaaally?

Like I said before in this thread: If a few women here and there throughout your life don't like you, but you have healthy relationships with girls in your age group more often than not, then it's not your fault at all: those women have just got issues and you can't let them get to you, or maybe you had a falling out and both of you were at fault and there's no fixing it, and that's okay. If, on the other hand, almost every girl you've ever met has disliked you or stopped being friends with you, it's either YOUR crappy taste in friends or YOUR inability to be a good friend to another female, but either way, it's all on you to fix it, whether you need to pick better friends or learn how to BE a friend worth having.

Of the two women I've known who have said stuff like "I just can't be friends with girls, they're too bitchy and dramatic!" one was just a horrible friend (so no shit she's not gonna keep female friends around, SHE was the catty dramatic one and she was HYPER-competitive around other females, so nobody wanted to be around her and putting up with her BS) and the other one had daddy issues and really bitchy female relatives, so she projected her need for a male to look up to and her bad experiences with female relatives onto everyone else.

Like I've already said earlier in this thread: Men and women alike, we are all very catty people at times. The difference is in how it's perceived - when men say it, we perceive it as "tough guy talk" or "fightin' words" because culturally, we're trained to expect that a man will get aggressive about it and all that cattiness will lead up to a fight. When women say it, it's "oooh, that catty bitch!" because we don't expect it'll progress beyond the comments.

Some people just suck. Other people try to pretend they don't suck by claiming it's everyone ELSE that sucks and just doesn't understand their Sooper Special Snowflake Awesomeness. And then there are awesome ladies like those of you I've met here on Specktra. ^_^ You are not catty at all! And I would totally go to the MAC store with you. Especially Shimmer, because she's badass.