Don't know how to deal with this

[BrokefromMAC]

Hi Everyone. I don't want to sound like I am begging for people to feel sorry for me, but i was hoping someone out there would have any advice. I don't have a lot of friends in my life, in fact I have only one best friend. We have been friends for 13 years, and shes more like a sister to me than a friend. I found out today that she has cancer that has spread to her lympth nodes. I dont know if she is going to make it through this. I can't think like that but Im so scared Im going to lose my only true friend. I can't stop crying and I don't know how to deal with this. I have so much else going wrong in my life at the same time and Im super stressed. I want to be there for her but I dont know how. Does anybody know how to deal with something like this? Thanks for reading.

 

[Mabelle]

i dont think anyone will think you're begging for pitty. It's an awful, horrible situation.
The human body is capable of absolutely amazing things. Just when you think the worst has come, something can change. Some people respond very well to treatment. You just need to be positive an support you're friend. Keep her spirit up. People that are hopeful/positive have sometimes do better.

Honestly, anything could happen. Think positively. I know it's hard, trust me, I know. But you really need to try. Support her, take care of her and her family. Unfortunatly, if things don't go well (heaven forbid) continue to show you're love for her, and keep her as happy as she can be.

I really hope everything turns out well. People have come back from far worse, so why can;t she?

I woman i know knew she had breast cancer for 2 years (without having a mamograme... she just knew by looking/ feeling) Her breast started to cave in. She only actually came out with it when she fell one winter, broke her leg and it wouldn't heal. The Cancer has spread to her bones in her legs. I thought for sure she was a goner. It's been over a year and shes responding really well to treatment. I think she's done her chemo. Look at patrick Swayze! Pancreatic caner is almost a death sentence, he's doing really well too (for now, and hopefully he fully recovers). It can happen. BE positive. Good energy= good things.

 

[kobri]

Oh goodness hun that is horrible! I went through a cancer scare with my best friend a few years ago, but thankfully it turned out to be nothing. I've also had a lot of my older family members with various forms of cancer so I have seen quite a bit. There is no instruction book for how to deal with something like this, no right or wrong way. It is a lot to feel and to deal with. If you ever need to talk or vent or anything I'll be there for ya.

 

[BrokefromMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle i dont think anyone will think you're begging for pitty. It's an awful, horrible situation. The human body is capable of absolutely amazing things. Just when you think the worst has come, something can change. Some people respond very well to treatment. You just need to be positive an support you're friend. Keep her spirit up. People that are hopeful/positive have sometimes do better. Honestly, anything could happen. Think positively. I know it's hard, trust me, I know. But you really need to try. Support her, take care of her and her family. Unfortunatly, if things don't go well (heaven forbid) continue to show you're love for her, and keep her as happy as she can be. I really hope everything turns out well. People have come back from far worse, so why can;t she? I woman i know knew she had breast cancer for 2 years (without having a mamograme... she just knew by looking/ feeling) Her breast started to cave in. She only actually came out with it when she fell one winter, broke her leg and it wouldn't heal. The Cancer has spread to her bones in her legs. I thought for sure she was a goner. It's been over a year and shes responding really well to treatment. I think she's done her chemo. Look at patrick Swayze! Pancreatic caner is almost a death sentence, he's doing really well too (for now, and hopefully he fully recovers). It can happen. BE positive. Good energy= good things.

Thanks so much for taking the time to write me back. I will do my best to stay positive for her. I am trying to think of people who beat the odds. I guess thats all I can hope for. Thanks so much again.

 

[BrokefromMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kobri Oh goodness hun that is horrible! I went through a cancer scare with my best friend a few years ago, but thankfully it turned out to be nothing. I've also had a lot of my older family members with various forms of cancer so I have seen quite a bit. There is no instruction book for how to deal with something like this, no right or wrong way. It is a lot to feel and to deal with. If you ever need to talk or vent or anything I'll be there for ya.

Thanks so much for your kind words. I know this is a makeup site and I just got here, I just dont know where to turn. It helps just to be able to talk about it and not just sit here by myself. Thanks so much again.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Be there for her as you would with anything. Ask her what you can do for her.

 

[ginger9]

First of all big

to you.

This is a big ordeal and no one's going to think you are here for pitty, this news is difficult for any one to take. Your feelings are very natural, you are scared to lose her. I think what's important right now is make sure you get emotional support at this time. From your parents, a relative or other friends that you can lean on and talk to right now. Take care of yourself so you can be there for her and support her as best as you can. Remember you are human so if you ever need to lean on someone please do so, and of course we are here for you as well.

I hope the best for her and she gets through this.

 

[BrokefromMAC]

Thanks so much. I really appreciate you guys taking time to write me back. It feels good to just have people to talk to.

 

[OfficerJenny]

My best friend was recently diagnosed with cancer, but she got through it. I know what it's like. Best thing you'd be able to do is just be with her and talk to her as much as possible. Make sure she knows you're there for her and that her being ill will not disrupt your friendship.

 

[BrokefromMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by OfficerJenny My best friend was recently diagnosed with cancer, but she got through it. I know what it's like. Best thing you'd be able to do is just be with her and talk to her as much as possible. Make sure she knows you're there for her and that her being ill will not disrupt your friendship.

Hi. Im so happy to hear that your friend is doing better now. How were you able to stay strong through that. I am not a weak person, but I cant stop thinking the worst. I know thats probably normal, but I dont want to break down now. I cant help her if Im a mess.

 

[OfficerJenny]

I just told her that if she thinks she will make it through, she will make it through. She had Salivary Gland cancer, and it spread to her lymph nodes as well. I just told her to stay strong and that I'd stand by her throughout the whole thing. Her confidence in the situation gave me extra confidence. And I am generally an optimistic person so I guess that helped. D:

 

[Tianik]

You and your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[BrokefromMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tianik You and your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you so much. I appreciate your kindness so much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OfficerJenny I just told her that if she thinks she will make it through, she will make it through. She had Salivary Gland cancer, and it spread to her lymph nodes as well. I just told her to stay strong and that I'd stand by her throughout the whole thing. Her confidence in the situation gave me extra confidence. And I am generally an optimistic person so I guess that helped. D:

Thanks again for writing. Since you have been through it, you know how it feels, and I have to believe that my friend can get through this just like yours did. I know I have to be positive.

 

[Mabelle]

Another person that had caner that spread to the lymph nodes was Tom Green. He had testicular cancer which spread, and he fully recovered!
Think positive. Amazing things happen every day.

 

[purrtykitty]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Like it's already been said...think positively and just do your best to be there for her.

My thoughts and prayers are with both her and you.

 

[BrokefromMAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by purrtykitty I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Like it's already been said...think positively and just do your best to be there for her. My thoughts and prayers are with both her and you.

Thank you so much for writing. I am trying to stay positive and I just have to keep hoping that things will get better. Again, thank you so much for writing me. It means alot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mabelle Another person that had caner that spread to the lymph nodes was Tom Green. He had testicular cancer which spread, and he fully recovered! Think positive. Amazing things happen every day.

That is true. Things that people thought couldn't happen do everyday. I will do my best to keep going and think positive. Thanks again for your post, and to everyone who wrote me, thank you so much.

 

[snowflakelashes]

As others said no instruction booklet, but you have people here willing to listen which I think is what you need because when you're with best friend your focus is being there for her. I know what its like to have only one close friend and the thought of her going through anything like that would be touch. I know I personally would have to rely heavily on whatever faith I could muster.

I found writing helped me when I was dealing with fear. its hard to make time for yourself but only you know what thing it is that will make you be able to take pause. For me it was playing my guitar, singing to myself, and/or writing. As well as having people to vent to (in my case too all my support network ended up being people I met online...so it can definately help to just be able to talk about your fears and have a sympathetic ear...). I hope everything works out for your friend.

 

[Divinity]

^^
Werd. Be with her, support her, love her, and give her what she needs. I agree with other posters that miraculous things happen every day and all you can do is hold her hand and tell her to stay strong.

 

[rbella]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Follow all the great advice you've gotten here. My best advice to you is to try and keep your fears from her. My father had the most aggressive form of brain cancer and I never let him know that I was scared. I don't think he could have handled it, nor do I think it would have been fair to push my issues on him during the hardest battle of his life.

Just remember what she is going through is harder than anything you can ever imagine. If you start to get scared for her health, come here, go to your friends, your faith, anything but her. It will not be helpful to her if she thinks you doubt her ability to survive.

Good luck to you and you will be in my thoughts. I really feel bad for you guys. If you need anything, we're all here. {{{Hugs}}}

 

[laperle]

I'm not sure I can be much helpful, but let me share my experience: My aunt was diagnosed with leukemia last year, and, at first, she was not responding well to the treatment. None of her family members are a match.

My uncle (her husband) is an alcoholic and he completely cleaned to be with her and take of her.

All of us keep her thinking in a positive way, like how much she's loved, how much she matters for us, how much she can give to the world.

My mom tells her she talks to all her body cells to kill the cancer. Then, she started talking to her cells herself and found a strenght and faith in herself she never thought she had. She was more of a skeptical kind of person.

Now, she's back at home, doing much better, but still under surveillance.


Don't show her your worries, show her your love and care.