Get Down

[thestarsfall]

I haven't been on here in the longest time...OMG. Anyway...I feel more comfortable posting this question here rather than on any other forum I go to, mainly cuz my boyfriend is on all the other forums I go to....(except he keeps makeup related things to me and me only so yay)....

Yeah, anyways....I'll just be blunt.

My boyfriend doesn't go down on me. Like, he hates it. And it makes me feel awful because he says he can't stand the smell...but, in all honesty, I don't think I smell? Like I mean obviously if I haven't showered that day and was sitting on the train all morning...yeah....but it's not like I am being gross and making him do it. Even fresh outta the shower he refuses.

And then all these other girls I know talk about how their boys love getting them off from oral, and everything and I get jealous. And sad. And then I feel pathetic cuz I am jealous and sad of oral sex. Heh.

And I mean, there are things I don't like doing as much, but I still will do them cuz I know he likes them....but its gotten to the point that I kinda don't want him to do it cuz I know he won't enjoy it, and thus I won't enjoy it cuz I then feel like I am forcing it on him.

Gah...

I am sexually frustrated already cuz he lives frickin 5 hours away and we are both broke.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

He's probably never smelled p*ssy before, to be honest. EVERY vagina "smells". I'm not saying every lady's vagina STINKS...but every vagina has a smell. And guess what?! It's SUPPOSED to smell that way. I would just chalk it up to immaturity and ignorance on the subject. I could see how it would make you feel insecure, I would feel the same way if my guy said such a thing and then refused to pleasure me because of it.

 

[Blushbaby]

Hmm ..if it's the smell that's putting him off, not to say you have bad hygiene or anything but have a shower and freshen up before he gets to your house or even better - suggest you take a shower together!

 

[gigglegirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blushbaby Hmm ..if it's the smell that's putting him off, not to say you have bad hygiene or anything but have a shower and freshen up before he gets to your house or even better - suggest you take a shower together!

But she mentioned in her explanation that he refuses even if she's just taken a shower.

It sounds like the shower together suggestion is probably the only possibility; though it seems like he's just not keen on it.

 

[Dahlia_Rayn]

My husband isn't into giving oral sex at all, he also complains of the smell. I think some guys are just meant for it and some aren't. My husband does give in other ways, so I don't feel like my sex life is lacking at all, maybe try and find some other creative and satisfying way to have your man please you that doesn't involve his mouth.

 

[Blushbaby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by gigglegirl But she mentioned in her explanation that he refuses even if she's just taken a shower.

Ahhh I missed that after skim reading her post too quickly.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

I might not be of much help, but I went through something pretty similar. My boyfriend has never really went down on a lot of girls before ever..he used to LOVE doing it to me in the beginning of our relationship. Then for some odd reason i started getting a lot of discharge and it kinda turned him off because he thought I had an infection or he thought something might be wrong with me. I went to 3 or 4 different doctors, and each one of them couldnt diagnose my discharge as anything to worry about. Even after all that, he was worried about going down on me because he thought hed get sick from my discharge, and there were a few times throughout our whole relationship that he'd say I smelled funny

I completely understand how u feel...its embarrassing and it seriously can mess up ur sex life. I had problems getting *turned on* for the longest time, because I was so worried about what he thought ofme. Now my boyfriend does it to me, but I never ask him for it and I always tell him not to, because I dont want him to feel like Im forcing him to....thats so lame!

I say you should really sit him down and tell him how u feel. Guys can be..dumb sometimes and he probably doesnt think much of what he says. He might not know how much it upsets you. I would just tell him that he really hurts ur feelings and embarrasses u when he flat out refuses to do it. Im sure he LOVES to get oral, Im sorry I just dont buy it that a man could refuse to do it. That seems absolutely silly and ridiculous, especially if u expect the same thing in return, without giving anything. There have been plenty of times where Ive given oral and never received it in return...but Id never ask to get oral and completely refuse to return the favor to the person. To be honest, Im the kind of person who thinks oral should pretty much be included in almost every time someone has sex. I know its difficult though, because when someone is SO against something u start to feel as though u are making a big deal and forcing them to do it (ur totally not!)

Next time u guys have sex, tell him u really just cant suck his d*ck because you just hate the smell.

Maybe after a few times of that, he'll realize how...silly hes being? Im sorry, he really might not be able to stand the smell, but Im not buying that at alllll! i think some guys just hate to do it, but then u have guys who get so turned on by doing it....its just not possible!

 

[user79]

Oh, what a big pussy!

Not trying to make light of your issue, but your bf sounds immature. A lot of girls aren't exactly enthralled at giving BJs, but we suck it up and just do it.

Wow, could I use anymore sexual puns in there? lol

Your bf sounds kind of immature tbh, I mean do you still go down on him? Sounds pretty selfish of him. I would talk about it with him, and if he ultimately won't do it or complains, well either you'll have to live with the idea of not getting what you want, or find a new partner you're more sexually compatible with.

 

[LMD84]

this must be really upsetting you because i think if my hubby refused because i 'smelled' i'd be really hurt.

seriously though how many other sexual partners has he had? because as other posters have mentioned - all ladies bits have a scent to them!!! some smell stronger than others but that's not to say they smell bad. it's all natural. i really can't see his issue if you offer it straight from the shower!!

personally i'd sit down and have a talk - if he really can't cope with the 'smell' then say fine but you don't feel as motivated to give him blow jobs anymore (tit for tat right?) or maybe it turns out that he uses this as an excuse because he's not so confident in the oral area?

good luck!

 

[thestarsfall]

I'm his first everything, so I totally understand him not being comfortable with it as much or not having been exposed to any other vajayjays so a certain immaturity surrounding it is to be expected. And I agree that some days of the month I do smell kinda odd down there, but its a normal smell still and a normal cycle of smells.

He also really sucks at it...like he's done it a few times just cuz he would say he would so I would call him out on the fact that he promised. But it totally wasn't great. So there's a twofold thing, needs to get over the natural scent, and needs to learn some technique.

I have talked it over with him a bit and I am going to buy some flavoured lube (which thus would have a scent) and see if that works for him...at least to start.

He still has to work on technique in the meantime though.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by thestarsfall I'm his first everything, so I totally understand him not being comfortable with it as much or not having been exposed to any other vajayjays so a certain immaturity surrounding it is to be expected. And I agree that some days of the month I do smell kinda odd down there, but its a normal smell still and a normal cycle of smells. He also really sucks at it...like he's done it a few times just cuz he would say he would so I would call him out on the fact that he promised. But it totally wasn't great. So there's a twofold thing, needs to get over the natural scent, and needs to learn some technique. I have talked it over with him a bit and I am going to buy some flavoured lube (which thus would have a scent) and see if that works for him...at least to start. He still has to work on technique in the meantime though.

I was going to suggest lube! There are lots of yummy flavors and smells, so that may be something that helps.

Since you said that you're his first everything, I would try to explain to him that EVERY vagina has a scent and that he needs to get over himself and realize that his balls probably do not smell like creme brule.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

I think flavored lube taste disgusting :\ but thats my personal opinion. Try chocolate syrup or whipped creme, its a little sticky but ohh soo fun

 

[user79]

^ Using food around there is really not good, it can cause yeast infections.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

^Yepp. Also make sure that the flavored lube you get is also sugar free.

 

[thestarsfall]

I actually think he would really enjoy flavoured lube, cuz he really likes his strawberry scented shampoo stuff he has occasionally even thought I think it smells absolutely horrendous and kinda like vomit. Heh. lol.

It's actually kinda gotten to the point where I don't enjoy doing oral on him anymore either cuz I know he isn't putting the same amount of effort into it....blah.

I really need to talk to that boy...but he's 5 hours away and has no internet at the moment and has limited texting ability and no calling ability. Blah.

 

[chocolategoddes]

i can't stand the smell of onion rings, so I don't eat it. Lots of people love onmion rings, but it makes me want to puke.
I don't think it's immature, maybe the smell actually makes him ill. You don't want him to vomit while he's going down on you, do you? (but hey, if you're into that kind of thing...)

At the same time, your guy should try to please you and if you enjoy recieving oral, then you should try tricks like flavored lube (not actually food!!!), dental dams, air freshners, or whatever.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous ^ Using food around there is really not good, it can cause yeast infections.

>.< Yikes i didnt know that.. yeah thats most definately a turn off...

 

[mizuki~]

Hmm..I remember hearing that what you eat affects how you smell and taste down there. Like red meat makes it bad..but things with natural sugars like fruits make you taste sweet. I'm sorry I don't really remember which other foods were good and which were bad

 

[thestarsfall]

anyone have suggestions of sugar free lube?

 

[Prinsesa]

Hmm..don't give him oral

I'm assuming you do because you mentioned that you'd do anything if he likes them. But yeah, that kinda sucks how he doesnt go down : ( Some guys are just sooo fussy!!