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Originally Posted by TISH1127
WOW!! Bless your heart! Man I wish there was something I could say to make it all better...I will say a prayer that your life does get better. Try not to concentrate so much on the time of the year and just think about making your life better despite all the obstacles you are being dealt I know thats easier said than done...However so many people make it through the holidays alone and they just try and make the best of it. Have you tried to reach out to your parents and try to rebuild that relationship. It doesn't always matter who was right or wrong...what matters is if you try...Just a thought
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The thing is, i've been trying to work it out since i was like 8 years old or so...
My parents were raised in a very very particular way (my dad is the most pretentious and selfish guy i've ever met because he was THE son, you know for his parents; and my mom... well she is just passive and despite all the crap he had done to me, she has never done anything because... well... she loves him apparently).
For example, when i was a teenage, i was seriously overweight (and still have to lose some weight) because i was bulimic and my "dad" was asking me in front of my friends all the time "Well, Amira, what's the price for one kilogramm of yours??" or "why, oh why, aren't you as pretty as (my friend name)??"
Seriously... try to handle that when you're 15...
It really was moral harassment you know, and it still does happen... I get "you're just an idiot" every single day.
I have never ever received a single hug or "i love you" in my entire life from my parents!!!
But still, i've always made all i could to please them: i've always had excellent grades, i've made the decision to find a part time job since i was 17 to buy all things i want without asking them; i bought every single thing i own aka flat tv, furnitures, bed, clothes, accessories, makeup; i paid for and had my driving license at the first shot; i don't smoke, i don't drink, i don't party... and i was always hoping they'll acknowledge that one day... but ehhh i'm still waiting! And it seems like i'll have to wait longer because in their words "i'm stupid, childish and selfish"...
I don't know, i must have done something really bad in a previous life...
And now, you know, i have just serious trusting issues and a very low self esteem also, and i think lots of people sense that and just feed themselves off of it...
I'm really really exhausted... The only thing that makes me hold on to life is that i really want my dream come true... living and working in the US. I know that since i was 2 yrs old, since the first english word i heard, and i was so in love with this language and this culture that i made myself fluent in english since i was 5 yrs old. But, again, it's a really hard task, because i simple can't just go to the US with no backup... i mean if things turn bad... my parents wouldn't do nothing to it and i'll just end homeless... And this makes me just more depressed...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beauty Mark
I spent last year alone on Christmas, and this year, I'm spending Christmas with my pending boyfriend (a few days ago, he told me that he isn't sure if he loves me anymore, even though he likes me a lot) and his family, because I have ceased contacted with my family. I don't know if it helps matters to know that you aren't alone, but well, you aren't alone at all in the crappy Christmas department.
My best advice is make the most of what you got going for you. Last year I treated myself to a nice meal (I bought it Christmas Eve, because I believed nothing would be open on Christmas), take a bubble bath, and relax. If you're looking to socialize more, I believe shelters are usually hard up for volunteers.
As for New Year's Eve, everything is overpriced and it's so dangerous going out because of drunks. Perhaps find a friend or two who'll be happy with a solid meal and some movies?
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Thanks for sharing your experience with us! It really helps. I hope everything will be ok for you... and i'll do my best to have a nice evening no matter what...
Thanks to all of you girls! You're so supportive, it's so amazing that i can't help crying!!!
Its a rule, no events, its a time for mom and I only! Look as long as your with someone you love, who the hell cares about presents and parties, you know??
