prettysecrets
Well-known member
Shimmer, you always say the right things!!!! 
Have you ever cheated?
- Thread starter melliquor
- Start date
Dahlia_Rayn
Well-known member
I just want to say that I'm terribly sorry you're facing this situation. It's hard to understand it if you haven't been there! I just want you to know that I will think of you, and keep you in my thoughts. I can't explain to you why life throws us situations like this, but we each have our skeletons. I just want to thank you for sharing. It's obviously not easy to talk about!
I have been in your situation, where I've just felt like walking away. My husband is incredible, but not always the most emotionally connected man, for a girl like me who wears her heart on her sleeve it can be very difficult. When I reach those times I try and remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. Every marriage has it's growing pains...and sometimes, no matter how good two people are apart, they don't work together. Do trust me when I tell you though, that you owe yourself and your marriage the effort of trying.
Don't every give up without a fight, and if you do have to leave don't do it in another's arms, but on your own strength and with your head held high!
I have been in your situation, where I've just felt like walking away. My husband is incredible, but not always the most emotionally connected man, for a girl like me who wears her heart on her sleeve it can be very difficult. When I reach those times I try and remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. Every marriage has it's growing pains...and sometimes, no matter how good two people are apart, they don't work together. Do trust me when I tell you though, that you owe yourself and your marriage the effort of trying.
Don't every give up without a fight, and if you do have to leave don't do it in another's arms, but on your own strength and with your head held high!
fjc62701
Well-known member
I was in the same situation as you, I worked in retail and there was this one customer that would always flirt and touch my hand when I would give him his change. He would even call the store and ask for me. Everytime he would come to the store my heart would start jumping and I would get all shaky and nervous. Well I found out he had a wife also and he knew that I had a husband. So one day I was gonna meet him at the park and I flaked. I am soooooo glad I did not go meet him there because I know something would have happend and I would so regret it. At that time me and my husband where also having problems but we worked them out and now we are doing better. Not perfect but we are trying. So my advice to you is, don't do it. It is so not worth it. You will thank yourself later in the future. If you say that you love your husband and want to grow old with him then dont mess it up. Yeah it does feel good when someone else looks at you because it makes you feel like you still got it, but at the end of of the day you got to think where your heart really is. Believe me you will live with guilt. And besides cheating on someone or getting cheated on sucks, also Karma it will bite you in the ass 3 times worse. So I hope you make the right descision and I wish you all the best in your marriage.
melliquor
Well-known member
I wouldn't actually consider my marriage in trouble... i have a great marriage and very happy. I don't know what is wrong with me to even be considering it. I am going to avoid seeing him... I feel like all i need to do is respond once and that would be it.
I think I might be going through a midlife crises... like somebody said... I want something new and to feel that again. I don't want to leave my husband but a bit of excitement.
I couldn't do that to him though... he is been there for me through everything. He knows about my childhood and all my problems that I had. He never judged me and always was just there for me. He is my best friend. We talk for hours and he is the only one that I can be myself around. He drives me crazy at times but that is who he is... I accepted it along time ago.
Thanks for the help and words of wisdom. No matter how much I think of this and may want it right now... I know it will pass. I am going to stay away from him and hope I don't run into him. This guy does have some balls though... he tried to chat me up when I was with my daughter on Saturday.
I think I might be going through a midlife crises... like somebody said... I want something new and to feel that again. I don't want to leave my husband but a bit of excitement.
I couldn't do that to him though... he is been there for me through everything. He knows about my childhood and all my problems that I had. He never judged me and always was just there for me. He is my best friend. We talk for hours and he is the only one that I can be myself around. He drives me crazy at times but that is who he is... I accepted it along time ago.
Thanks for the help and words of wisdom. No matter how much I think of this and may want it right now... I know it will pass. I am going to stay away from him and hope I don't run into him. This guy does have some balls though... he tried to chat me up when I was with my daughter on Saturday.
JustDivine
Well-known member
Melliquor I'm happy for you and I suspected that it was just his attention that caused you to question everything. I've been there, I know.
I'm glad you're strong enough to know that you have what you need in your marriage, and to fight this guy's intentions.
I wish you all the best
I'm glad you're strong enough to know that you have what you need in your marriage, and to fight this guy's intentions.
I wish you all the best
couturesista
Well-known member
It sounds like you and your husband need a sexual and sensual vacation. a place where its just the two of you. You can talk, have fun, be sexual with one another and bascially reconnect. Your at that 7 yr itch, girl, grab you some toys,body oils, candles, ( a little porn never hurts either) maybe even some peotry, and ya'll get your freak on! We all get bored in our relationship, who knows he may be feeling the same way and just afraid to bring it up. Get to talking and be creative.
jasminbarley
Well-known member
*****
1165Cheryl
Well-known member
HI HON..OPPS, CAPS..SORRY..
as soon as I saw who wrote this I had to send you a big hug. It's very hard to think clear when the heart is involved. I found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with around 17 years ago. He was it, no words can explain what our bond was like and unless you saw it, it was hard to beleive. I'd be somewhere with a friend at a mall, ect..and i'd say to her "he's here". She'd ask where and I said wait...he'll be here in a few minutes. I could feel his energy where ever I'd go and just like i told her a minute later there he was turning a corner. That happened to him and I for almost 2 years, always knowing, feeling everything the other felt. I never experienced that in my life nor have i since him. I dont expect i ever will which is ok after years of exceptance.Because of circumstances like yours we had to part and never did cross the line physically and his wife did know, we told her. He told her I was his soul mate and the person he'd been waiting for his whole life. This went on for awhile until they decided what was best for them and there kids. It was the most painful thing i've been through, at the same time though I'm blessed I experienced true love. He did the right thing and stayed but did leave 5 years later. He tried to find me but couldnt....not till years later but it couldnt be and it's a long story. I know how the heart can be...I will love this person forever but after many years I was able to let go of the hope...
Is your husband is your mate, best friend, uncondtional love, do you like him, ect...I know you hon and know you wouldnt have written this unless your truely confused. If you think back to your marriage before this other person was in the picture how would you say your marraige was going? were you happy or was there things in the back ground that you were already unhappy with? your wrote this:" He never judged me and always was just there for me. He is my best friend. We talk for hours and he is the only one that I can be myself around. He drives me crazy at times but that is who he is... I accepted it along time ago." Is he still all of those things? are you still in love with him or do you love him? Thats great he excepts and has helped with your past but that's the pass. If your still in love then i'd think this will pass...life can be tempting. You might notice in the next 1-2 years your finding your eyes wondering more and maybe then thats the time to address this more deeply?? One thing stuck out clear, you said he's the one person you can be yourself with and that is so beautiful and hard to find
I dont know what else to say except you have many of us here for you without judgements. Please feel free to email me anytime. There is more I'd like to write but it's hard not being able to use caps here. I just saw how long this is, sorry
Hugs always!!!!
as soon as I saw who wrote this I had to send you a big hug. It's very hard to think clear when the heart is involved. I found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with around 17 years ago. He was it, no words can explain what our bond was like and unless you saw it, it was hard to beleive. I'd be somewhere with a friend at a mall, ect..and i'd say to her "he's here". She'd ask where and I said wait...he'll be here in a few minutes. I could feel his energy where ever I'd go and just like i told her a minute later there he was turning a corner. That happened to him and I for almost 2 years, always knowing, feeling everything the other felt. I never experienced that in my life nor have i since him. I dont expect i ever will which is ok after years of exceptance.Because of circumstances like yours we had to part and never did cross the line physically and his wife did know, we told her. He told her I was his soul mate and the person he'd been waiting for his whole life. This went on for awhile until they decided what was best for them and there kids. It was the most painful thing i've been through, at the same time though I'm blessed I experienced true love. He did the right thing and stayed but did leave 5 years later. He tried to find me but couldnt....not till years later but it couldnt be and it's a long story. I know how the heart can be...I will love this person forever but after many years I was able to let go of the hope...
Is your husband is your mate, best friend, uncondtional love, do you like him, ect...I know you hon and know you wouldnt have written this unless your truely confused. If you think back to your marriage before this other person was in the picture how would you say your marraige was going? were you happy or was there things in the back ground that you were already unhappy with? your wrote this:" He never judged me and always was just there for me. He is my best friend. We talk for hours and he is the only one that I can be myself around. He drives me crazy at times but that is who he is... I accepted it along time ago." Is he still all of those things? are you still in love with him or do you love him? Thats great he excepts and has helped with your past but that's the pass. If your still in love then i'd think this will pass...life can be tempting. You might notice in the next 1-2 years your finding your eyes wondering more and maybe then thats the time to address this more deeply?? One thing stuck out clear, you said he's the one person you can be yourself with and that is so beautiful and hard to find
I dont know what else to say except you have many of us here for you without judgements. Please feel free to email me anytime. There is more I'd like to write but it's hard not being able to use caps here. I just saw how long this is, sorry
Hugs always!!!!
sondarah
Member
Wow, what a terrible situation to be in!
I've been married for 6 1/2 years and I have two little boys with my husband. I'm also in my 30's. Before the birth of my first son (I'm a SAHM now) there was an attractive, very charismatic co-worker of mine that was also married. He would seek me out and push on my boundaries a bit to see if I would take the bait. He liked that I was married; he knew I would not divorce my husband. He loved his wife, but he also liked the thrill of the unknown...in this case that unknown was me. Nothing happened, but I wondered about it a lot. What would happen if...??? My marriage was not on the rocks at the time either, but the thrill of a new attraction was sooo strong!!!
If I may say so, it sounds like this new young man is meeting a need that your husband may not be meeting. There's a book called His Needs, Her Needs that I think you should read. If your husband is meeting 90% of your needs, but this new guy is meeting the 10% that your husband is missing, you may feel like a complete woman. But you're not. This young man is bold. After all, what does he have to lose? If he doesn't respect your marriage now how much would he respect you afterwards? Does he not respect your time with your daughter or your privacy? He may be a completely different person once the chase is gone. Think stalker. I know, that seems farfetched, but unfortunately I've been stalked more than once and it's terrifying.
How old is your daughter? Can she stay with friends or family while you and hubby get away for a weekend together? Spend some time away from the stresses of home remembering why you chose him as your husband. Date him again.
I don't know if anything I said was helpful, but I hope it was. Please take care. You're in my prayers.
{{HUGS}}
I've been married for 6 1/2 years and I have two little boys with my husband. I'm also in my 30's. Before the birth of my first son (I'm a SAHM now) there was an attractive, very charismatic co-worker of mine that was also married. He would seek me out and push on my boundaries a bit to see if I would take the bait. He liked that I was married; he knew I would not divorce my husband. He loved his wife, but he also liked the thrill of the unknown...in this case that unknown was me. Nothing happened, but I wondered about it a lot. What would happen if...??? My marriage was not on the rocks at the time either, but the thrill of a new attraction was sooo strong!!!
If I may say so, it sounds like this new young man is meeting a need that your husband may not be meeting. There's a book called His Needs, Her Needs that I think you should read. If your husband is meeting 90% of your needs, but this new guy is meeting the 10% that your husband is missing, you may feel like a complete woman. But you're not. This young man is bold. After all, what does he have to lose? If he doesn't respect your marriage now how much would he respect you afterwards? Does he not respect your time with your daughter or your privacy? He may be a completely different person once the chase is gone. Think stalker. I know, that seems farfetched, but unfortunately I've been stalked more than once and it's terrifying.
How old is your daughter? Can she stay with friends or family while you and hubby get away for a weekend together? Spend some time away from the stresses of home remembering why you chose him as your husband. Date him again.
I don't know if anything I said was helpful, but I hope it was. Please take care. You're in my prayers.
{{HUGS}}
sondarah
Member
I'm still thinking about you and Mr. Man. Obviously you're troubled or you wouldn't have posted here. And you knew what we would all say...you didn't expect anyone to say, "Oh sure! Yeah, go ahead, have an affair!". I don't know you at all, but I'd say it takes guts to admit what you feel in your heart and to display it as you have. You're a decent person. Don't let this "man" take that away from you. (Yes, I put "man" in quotes...he doesn't seem to have any respect for you just from the little bit that you've mentioned and so probably isn't a man deserving of respect).
Wishing you the best. My prayer is that you're relationship with your husband can grow such that you would never have room for a charmer like Mr. Man to wiggle his way in.
Wishing you the best. My prayer is that you're relationship with your husband can grow such that you would never have room for a charmer like Mr. Man to wiggle his way in.
stacylynne
Well-known member
If this other man is flirting with you after you told him you are married, do you know what this means????
It means he wants to have sex with you with no commitment. He just wants a fling.
As far as your husband goes, have you ever tried therapy? talk things out? Having strong communication skills in my book is very important. But not to the point where it's so argumentive where you walk away. You have been married to him for 6 years. You should know him better than anyone else.
Maybe you should tell him how you feel with everything. How he's argumentive & you would like to have a conversation about things w/o yelling.
As far as this other man goes, if you go through with it. Your guilt will get the best of you & you can kiss your hubby good-bye.
1 night of passion is not worth your family.
I can go on & on about this convo b/c I was in this situation & it was around me. I'm not going into any details. But in the long run, it's just not worth it.
If you really love your husband talk to him. Like I said, communication is so important. He has his beleifs & you have yours. He can't come in & start yelling @ you. You are human with feelings too.
Good luck hun
It means he wants to have sex with you with no commitment. He just wants a fling.
As far as your husband goes, have you ever tried therapy? talk things out? Having strong communication skills in my book is very important. But not to the point where it's so argumentive where you walk away. You have been married to him for 6 years. You should know him better than anyone else.
Maybe you should tell him how you feel with everything. How he's argumentive & you would like to have a conversation about things w/o yelling.
As far as this other man goes, if you go through with it. Your guilt will get the best of you & you can kiss your hubby good-bye.
1 night of passion is not worth your family.
I can go on & on about this convo b/c I was in this situation & it was around me. I'm not going into any details. But in the long run, it's just not worth it.
If you really love your husband talk to him. Like I said, communication is so important. He has his beleifs & you have yours. He can't come in & start yelling @ you. You are human with feelings too.
Good luck hun
melliquor
Well-known member
Quote:
Thanks so much Cheryl. I am glad that somebody knows what I am feeling. I am def not going to respond and try not to think about him. It isn't worth it. Even if my DH would never find out, I am not a dishonest person and would feel guilt the rest of my life. I feel guilty for just little white lies that I tell him sometimes and always come out and tell him the truth later on.
It would break his heart if I did anything. We are both off next month for a week and I am going to see if DH wants to go away for a weekend. I might try to talk to him about going to a therapist to get his anger a bit under control. He doesn't yell too much and is never directed at us but he needs to learn to express himself without getting so mad.
The more I am think about Mr. Man (as somebody said above)... the more I am realising he is a bit of a shit. He always talks to me regardless if I am with my daughter or not but never with my DH. Regardless if the attraction, I have to not think about it and stay away from where I might see him.
Thanks everybody so much for the help and ways to get past this.
Originally Posted by 1165Cheryl
HI HON..OPPS, CAPS..SORRY.. as soon as I saw who wrote this I had to send you a big hug. It's very hard to think clear when the heart is involved. I found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with around 17 years ago. He was it, no words can explain what our bond was like and unless you saw it, it was hard to beleive. I'd be somewhere with a friend at a mall, ect..and i'd say to her "he's here". She'd ask where and I said wait...he'll be here in a few minutes. I could feel his energy where ever I'd go and just like i told her a minute later there he was turning a corner. That happened to him and I for almost 2 years, always knowing, feeling everything the other felt. I never experienced that in my life nor have i since him. I dont expect i ever will which is ok after years of exceptance.Because of circumstances like yours we had to part and never did cross the line physically and his wife did know, we told her. He told her I was his soul mate and the person he'd been waiting for his whole life. This went on for awhile until they decided what was best for them and there kids. It was the most painful thing i've been through, at the same time though I'm blessed I experienced true love. He did the right thing and stayed but did leave 5 years later. He tried to find me but couldnt....not till years later but it couldnt be and it's a long story. I know how the heart can be...I will love this person forever but after many years I was able to let go of the hope... Is your husband is your mate, best friend, uncondtional love, do you like him, ect...I know you hon and know you wouldnt have written this unless your truely confused. If you think back to your marriage before this other person was in the picture how would you say your marraige was going? were you happy or was there things in the back ground that you were already unhappy with? your wrote this:" He never judged me and always was just there for me. He is my best friend. We talk for hours and he is the only one that I can be myself around. He drives me crazy at times but that is who he is... I accepted it along time ago." Is he still all of those things? are you still in love with him or do you love him? Thats great he excepts and has helped with your past but that's the pass. If your still in love then i'd think this will pass...life can be tempting. You might notice in the next 1-2 years your finding your eyes wondering more and maybe then thats the time to address this more deeply?? One thing stuck out clear, you said he's the one person you can be yourself with and that is so beautiful and hard to find
I dont know what else to say except you have many of us here for you without judgements. Please feel free to email me anytime. There is more I'd like to write but it's hard not being able to use caps here. I just saw how long this is, sorry
Hugs always!!!! |
Thanks so much Cheryl. I am glad that somebody knows what I am feeling. I am def not going to respond and try not to think about him. It isn't worth it. Even if my DH would never find out, I am not a dishonest person and would feel guilt the rest of my life. I feel guilty for just little white lies that I tell him sometimes and always come out and tell him the truth later on.
It would break his heart if I did anything. We are both off next month for a week and I am going to see if DH wants to go away for a weekend. I might try to talk to him about going to a therapist to get his anger a bit under control. He doesn't yell too much and is never directed at us but he needs to learn to express himself without getting so mad.
The more I am think about Mr. Man (as somebody said above)... the more I am realising he is a bit of a shit. He always talks to me regardless if I am with my daughter or not but never with my DH. Regardless if the attraction, I have to not think about it and stay away from where I might see him.
Thanks everybody so much for the help and ways to get past this.
user79
Well-known member
I'd be very careful about posting this information....does your husband snoop on you, or know what websites you visit? Do you have your password for Specktra stored? If you do, he could just accidentally or willingly log into your account and see this post...even reading that for him might be a huge strain on the marriage. Clear your cache, don't save your pw, etc.
But anyway, onto the question -
I don't think it's worth it. I'm pretty sure almost all persons in a long-term relationship have at one point been drawn to and attracted to another person, or even considered having an affair. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been in that situation of temptation in the past 10 years I've been comitted to my partner. Unless you're in an open relationship where both people are ok with that, you still made a commitmment to your husband, and to the relationship to be faithful.
It can be sign that there is something wrong with your relationship, but sometimes it's just carnal attraction. But I agree with the other people that it's just not worth it. Most likely, the guy will have his fun, the excitement of sleeping with a married woman and the secrecy of the affair, but then he might get bored of it and just move on. He's in his twenties, young, flirty, and having an affair with a married woman might just be another thing on his sexual to-do list. Most affairs/flings, I wager, don't turn into serious relationships. And then you'll still be left in the same position you are now, only you will have hurt a lot of people that you love - your husband, your child, etc. If your husband finds out, your marriage will be broken, and even if he doesn't, the guilt will eat you up inside.
I'd try to distance yourself from the younger guy, or completely cut off the contact, and focus your attention on your husband and family to see what you can fix in your relationship. Maybe some counselling would help?
Good luck!
But anyway, onto the question -
I don't think it's worth it. I'm pretty sure almost all persons in a long-term relationship have at one point been drawn to and attracted to another person, or even considered having an affair. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been in that situation of temptation in the past 10 years I've been comitted to my partner. Unless you're in an open relationship where both people are ok with that, you still made a commitmment to your husband, and to the relationship to be faithful.
It can be sign that there is something wrong with your relationship, but sometimes it's just carnal attraction. But I agree with the other people that it's just not worth it. Most likely, the guy will have his fun, the excitement of sleeping with a married woman and the secrecy of the affair, but then he might get bored of it and just move on. He's in his twenties, young, flirty, and having an affair with a married woman might just be another thing on his sexual to-do list. Most affairs/flings, I wager, don't turn into serious relationships. And then you'll still be left in the same position you are now, only you will have hurt a lot of people that you love - your husband, your child, etc. If your husband finds out, your marriage will be broken, and even if he doesn't, the guilt will eat you up inside.
I'd try to distance yourself from the younger guy, or completely cut off the contact, and focus your attention on your husband and family to see what you can fix in your relationship. Maybe some counselling would help?
Good luck!
user79
Well-known member
Quote:
Honestly, I think this advice is not that great. People throw the word divorce and breaking up around too easily. I'm not saying people should stay in a marriage or relationship that is abusive, or is making them miserable, but a lot of problems can be fixed, if both people put in the effort.
Being in a long term relationship or marriage isn't exactly all rosy all the time, there's probably at least one or many times that either person wants to end it. But many problems can be worked out, and that's how a marriage lasts. Sometimes I think people give up too easily.
If both persons have tried to work on their problems, and they are just irreconcilable differences, then by all means get a divorce. But this situation really doesn't seem that way to me. It's totally normal for a person to consider cheating, not go through with it, bounce back and turn the relationship totally around where both people are happy.
| Originally Posted by M.A.C. head.
If you've thought this far about cheating on your husband, why don't you just get a divorce? I mean, you say you love him and want to grow old with him, but is personality doesn't match yours and you fight all the time. Love isn't always enough hon. |
Honestly, I think this advice is not that great. People throw the word divorce and breaking up around too easily. I'm not saying people should stay in a marriage or relationship that is abusive, or is making them miserable, but a lot of problems can be fixed, if both people put in the effort.
Being in a long term relationship or marriage isn't exactly all rosy all the time, there's probably at least one or many times that either person wants to end it. But many problems can be worked out, and that's how a marriage lasts. Sometimes I think people give up too easily.
If both persons have tried to work on their problems, and they are just irreconcilable differences, then by all means get a divorce. But this situation really doesn't seem that way to me. It's totally normal for a person to consider cheating, not go through with it, bounce back and turn the relationship totally around where both people are happy.
Shimmer
Well-known member
I think most people will find, in this situation, that if the deliberate choice is made both to acknowledge the attraction and NOT to act upon it, the initial sparks of lust will diminish...especially if there's acknowledgment that 'game' is being run as well. Once 'game' is obvious, it's not hot anymore, and is hardly worth paying attention to.
SMMY
Well-known member
Quote:
Best advice in thread! Generally the grass doesn't look greener elsewhere unless you have some crabgrass growing in your own lawn. Cheesy analogy, but true. You may have a solid marriage, but it has hit some speed bumps (fighting is a clear sign. Everyone fights, but when it gets to the point where you fight enough to notice how much you are fighting, then there are other issues at play). I imagine there are things going on in your relationship which you aren't telling us, and frankly we don't have any right to know. You know what they are. Counseling is a good option, whether through a secular or non-secular counseling outfit. I really believe this other guy isn't the problem, merely the symptom. Focus on what is going on in your marriage or with you in particular that is making this seem attractive. An affair definitely won't cure anything, just make it much worse. Wishing you and your family the best of luck.
| Originally Posted by MissChievous
I'd be very careful about posting this information....does your husband snoop on you, or know what websites you visit? Do you have your password for Specktra stored? If you do, he could just accidentally or willingly log into your account and see this post...even reading that for him might be a huge strain on the marriage. Clear your cache, don't save your pw, etc. But anyway, onto the question - I don't think it's worth it. I'm pretty sure almost all persons in a long-term relationship have at one point been drawn to and attracted to another person, or even considered having an affair. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been in that situation of temptation in the past 10 years I've been comitted to my partner. Unless you're in an open relationship where both people are ok with that, you still made a commitmment to your husband, and to the relationship to be faithful. It can be sign that there is something wrong with your relationship, but sometimes it's just carnal attraction. But I agree with the other people that it's just not worth it. Most likely, the guy will have his fun, the excitement of sleeping with a married woman and the secrecy of the affair, but then he might get bored of it and just move on. He's in his twenties, young, flirty, and having an affair with a married woman might just be another thing on his sexual to-do list. Most affairs/flings, I wager, don't turn into serious relationships. And then you'll still be left in the same position you are now, only you will have hurt a lot of people that you love - your husband, your child, etc. If your husband finds out, your marriage will be broken, and even if he doesn't, the guilt will eat you up inside. I'd try to distance yourself from the younger guy, or completely cut off the contact, and focus your attention on your husband and family to see what you can fix in your relationship. Maybe some counselling would help? Good luck! |
Best advice in thread! Generally the grass doesn't look greener elsewhere unless you have some crabgrass growing in your own lawn. Cheesy analogy, but true. You may have a solid marriage, but it has hit some speed bumps (fighting is a clear sign. Everyone fights, but when it gets to the point where you fight enough to notice how much you are fighting, then there are other issues at play). I imagine there are things going on in your relationship which you aren't telling us, and frankly we don't have any right to know. You know what they are. Counseling is a good option, whether through a secular or non-secular counseling outfit. I really believe this other guy isn't the problem, merely the symptom. Focus on what is going on in your marriage or with you in particular that is making this seem attractive. An affair definitely won't cure anything, just make it much worse. Wishing you and your family the best of luck.
SkylarV217
Well-known member
Work on your marriage. You love your husband and your family and you know that cheating would only hurt all of you. It would make things worse in the end. Don't allow a momentary unhappiness turn into a ruined marriage and a broken home for your daughter. Think about the affect it would have on you if the situation was reversed. It would be devastating if your husband were to cheat on you. Remember a marriage takes work. Resist affairs at all costs. They only make the pain that much worse. If you have worked through all other options and you are done with your marriage. Get a divorce before you start another relationship. In the end that is the honorable thing to do obviously after all other options have been exhausted. You and your husband have made commitments to each other and I'm sure you want to be the type of person that honors those commitments.
I know its hard when you are having difficulties but in the end the best option is to work on what you have in the end you will be glad you made the decision you can be proud of. You also want to set an example for your daughter.
I know its hard when you are having difficulties but in the end the best option is to work on what you have in the end you will be glad you made the decision you can be proud of. You also want to set an example for your daughter.
