Home Schooling Your Children

[Trunkmonkey]

New Thread.

Typically children who are home schooled are looked on as the types who couldn't fit in with the mainstream schools or as the types whose parents were so hyper religious that they didn't want them 'poisoned' by mainstream society.

So lets say I, for reasons I've come to decide were in the best interests of my child, decide to home school.

What are your opinions on this subject.

Please keep it civil and on topic.

Ladies, and gentlemen, proceed...

 

[Beauty Mark]

In general or from a personal POV?

There are some interesting arguments about how home schooled children may be victims of abuse and that keeping kids at home like that is an easy way of hiding it. I don't know how true that is, and I haven't seen any evidence of that.

I think if you are going to homeschool, you should mix it up with some classes with your kids' peers. School is where a lot of friendships are made, so it's socially good. Academically, you're probably not good at everything, so you should allow someone who's better than you to teach that subject. Also, when it comes to sciences, it's kind of hard to do labs in the normal home. Also related to academically, your kid may go to college or trade school or need to train for a job. S/he needs to learn how to learn from other people; I say this from experience with school. Everyone teaches differently, and sometimes, you get stuck with a crappy teacher. You can't do anything about it but learn how to learn despite their poor explanations or vagueness.

I have issues with people who try to shield their kids from the real world through home schooling. I'm talking religiously, socially, whatever have you. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere and your kid manages to stay there, they're going to be exposed to all sorts of things once they leave your house. I think it's important to have them learn how to function outside your care while they're growing up, not when they're 18 or so.

If I were to have kids, I wouldn't homeschool 100%. I think the social aspects of school are very important, and I think I'd be afraid I'd teach a biased education. I'm not even talking liberal education but one more focused on my interests. Like I hate poetry, so I probably wouldn't teach it. Even if you have one teacher in school who hates something, you'll probably have another one who likes that thing.

I also wanted to add that it's important in general to allow your kids experience environments close to ones that they'll have to deal with in the future. I went to a single-sex college. Some girls there went through the single-sex educational system from elementary school through college. For whatever reasons, they had very little male interaction on a social level outside their families for many years. They took jobs in mostly female environments during the summers or worked for their families. They may go clubbing and that kind of environment, but I think it only counts for a small part of interacting with males.

They are socially crippled in their 20s on how to deal with males in the workplace, for dating, etc. It's beyond them how I can talk to guys in casual conversation. I'm sure they can adjust (I hope they can). It's very sad to me.

 

[giz2000]

There are other reasons to homeschool children. I homeschooled my son when he was in the 4th grade (last year) so that he wouldn't have to repeat the 3rd grade because some stupid state exam said that he wasn't ready to move on. He's a terrible test taker and a lot of his accomodations (he has ADHD) weren't put in place for his testing. He learned a lot that year, mainly because a great deal of our lessons were hands-on/field trips, etc. We had him in extra-curricular activities (including after-school camp) so that he wouldn't be isolated, but I do have to agree that the mainstream homeschooling movement tends to be a little isolationist and a bit clique-ish. When I would chat online with homeschooling groups and such, they would look down on me because my intentions were to send my son back to regular school after the 4th grade. Homeschooling was a means to an end, and it worked really well for us...for that 1 year. I don't think I would HS him again, especially since he's going to middle school next year.

Let me tell you...during the year that I was homeschooling him, I gained a whole new respect for teachers. I only had one student...and I was going nuts some days!! My hats off to all the teachers out there!

 

[inlucesco]

I was homeschooled for educational reasons (that is, I wasn't getting an education at my public school). I also met lots of families who did it for religious reasons.

However, I would suggest that anyone who thinks homeschool prevents kids from socializing fully, should go check into their local homeschool programs. I had so many classes/activities with my peers over the years that I can hardly think of them all: gymnastics, science (including dissection lab), calligraphy, oil painting, ceramics, acrylic painting, watercolor painting, field trips to the zoo, field trips to Alcatraz, field trips to Gold Country, "park days," computer classes, drama club, band (I played two instruments) - and I know I'm forgetting some.

Why did homeschool work for me? I am a fairly self-motivated person. I could get all of my assignments done in a couple hours, rather than sit in school for 6-8 hours every day and listen to an agonizingly slow reading of "Little House on the Prairie." I REALLY liked being able to get the drudgery over with quickly so that I could do extracurricular stuff (or just go to the library and clean them out, weekly). I started out in public school and switched in 4th grade (and went all the way through my early HS graduation). However, my brother started out homeschooled, but did better in a traditional school environment. It varies by the child.

I had a bit of an adjustment period when I started my community college (I wasn't ready to go off to university at 16), but not really a big deal. I was already attending the CC anyway because I liked the classes they offered.

And you know, although some families were suffocatingly religious, I must say that the general religious bent of the other people meant that I grew up in an environment where not many kids acted out - never any drugs, teenage pregnancy, excessive swearing, sexual pressure, etc. I was the weird one because I read vampire novels and liked to write angsty dramatic poetry.

But honestly, the lack of pressure from my peers was a positive thing, whether or not it had to do with religion for them. I came of age with the ability to decide what I thought of sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll without anyone condemning it OR telling me it was soooo cool and I had to do it to fit in.

Most importantly, I got a hell of a lot more education this way than I would have at public school. Yet the only thing I EVER heard, as I was in middle/high school, from peers who went to traditional school was, "BUT! WHAT ABOUT YOUR *SOCIAL SKILLS!*" (And that still annoys me to death - am I not standing here carrying on a conversation with you, Sparky? What do you think social skills ARE? And furthermore, why do I get along with your parents better than you?

)

Anyway, my opinion in short is: homeschool can be a really great educational opportunity if you have the right kid and the right program.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by inlucesco IAnd you know, although some families were suffocatingly religious, I must say that the general religious bent of the other people meant that I grew up in an environment where not many kids acted out - never any drugs, teenage pregnancy, excessive swearing, sexual pressure, etc. I was the weird one because I read vampire novels and liked to write angsty dramatic poetry. But honestly, the lack of pressure from my peers was a positive thing, whether or not it had to do with religion for them. I came of age with the ability to decide what I thought of sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll without anyone condemning it OR telling me it was soooo cool and I had to do it to fit in.

Realistically, that sort of pressure comes from who YOU choose to have as your friends. Not from the school. As a public school kid, i knew who was doing drugs/alcohol, i knew who was havin sex/who got pregnant, and who was getting into trouble. But I also knew that those students doing that were not the majority, and also, not my friends.

As I got older, some of that changed, and some of my friends chose to drink at parties, or have sex with the boyfriends. But I also had plenty of friends who didn't, and were still virgins like myself, and had never had alcohol before, or been drunk.

Regardless, if your secure enough in your own identify, things like peer pressure really dont have much of an effect on you. Or even more so, if your the loud one, if anything, the pressure is on the other people in yuor friends group, because your typically the one who decides whats happening in your group anyways lol...

Did I underage drink? Absoluteley, but that started in college, not highschool.

Did I try drugs? Yes. In college. I've used lots of different ones. But I was also strong enough in personal character to get over getting high. I personally dont think recreational use of drugs is any worse than drinking. Granted using them to excess, is a problem, but ANYTHING in excess, is a problem.

Did I have sex? Eventually. In college ;p With my boyfriend, and after several months of knowing him.

But I was also 18 at the time I choose to do any of that, and not a minor anymore. So I dont think it was a problem. I didn't rush in to try everything my first day at college. I waited until I felt I was ready to expierence new things. And I also knew, that regardless of my choices, not "everyone" was doing it. So the choices I made, I did them because I wanted to, not becuse I was trying to fit in. And I had, had the opportunities to do all of those things, for years before. So it's not like i was being newly exposed to them in college.

I really dont think extended homeschooling has any real benefit. You can say it has a variety of benefits, from protecting children from the dangers of peer pressure, to providing an excellerated course in school. Or however you want to justify it. And at the same time I can argue that parents who teach their children how to value their own decisions, and help them build strong self esteem, will be able to stand up to peer pressure. And that pushing kids through school faster is just forcing them to grow up faster than they have too. Or this or that.

Eigther way, I think a combination of the two is best. Because they both provide very real benefits, and completely isolating a child from the benefits of both, is doing a disservice to them in the long run.

 

[MissMarley]

I went to a private Christian college, which is the type of college that a lot of the very religious homeschooled families send their kids to...and many of them were incredibly unpleasant to be around, due to their lack of socialization and people skills. I remember being called a whore because I had *gasp* kissed a boy! They seemed to be unable to interact with others in a healthy way, especially people of the opposite sex. But that was certainly not universal. My best friend in the world was homeschooled, and he's the coolest guy ever. I just think it depends on the family and upbringing. As long as they know how to treat people, they're cool. And I think that applies to kids in general, homeschooled and public-schooled.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMarley I remember being called a whore because I had *gasp* kissed a boy!

Hehe... You rule breaker you!

I bet the majority of those girls all ended up having pre marital sex too a few years later.

 

[MACHOMULA]

I was homeschooled 4th-9th grade and returned to public school in 10th grade. It was awesome. We got to go on vacations more. If we were learning about a certain topic my mom could take us on a "field trip" to experience it 1st hand. We set our own pace. As long as I was OK with the information we could move on to the next topic and thus had a much shorter school day (vs having to wait until the entire class understands). I think I was definitely exposed to a lot less and had time for my parents to instill morals and values into me verus letting my peers teach me a lot of things that no child needs to no. That being said, I was certainly not sheltered. My parents made a point to make sure we were socially adjusted. I went on the make straight A's in highschool, graduate a year early and at the top of my class. I also was able to finish college in three years. I truly attriubute it to being homeschooled. I think the importance of family is on such shaky ground in our society as a whole and I believe that for a child to be at home with their parents (provided they have decent ones) is awesome. I realize not everyone is able to do that and that is completely understandable and those people should not feel inferior or like bad parents becuase they can't. I really hope I'm able to homeschool mine. I wouldn't trade my experience for anything!!!

 

[inlucesco]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Realistically, that sort of pressure comes from who YOU choose to have as your friends. Not from the school. As a public school kid, i knew who was doing drugs/alcohol, i knew who was havin sex/who got pregnant, and who was getting into trouble. But I also knew that those students doing that were not the majority, and also, not my friends. I really dont think extended homeschooling has any real benefit. You can say it has a variety of benefits, from protecting children from the dangers of peer pressure, to providing an excellerated course in school. Or however you want to justify it. And at the same time I can argue that parents who teach their children how to value their own decisions, and help them build strong self esteem, will be able to stand up to peer pressure. And that pushing kids through school faster is just forcing them to grow up faster than they have too. Or this or that. Eigther way, I think a combination of the two is best. Because they both provide very real benefits, and completely isolating a child from the benefits of both, is doing a disservice to them in the long run.

Of course it is your choice who you associate with, and that does help build character, but I was pointing out that it was a very pleasant environment for me to grow up in. It wasn't the be-all end-all to peer pressure (there were a fair amount of "OMG you're a sinner" as well as "I got kicked out of regular school 'cause I have attitude/sex/drug problems" people), but it was a nice way to come of age. At the same time, that was certainly not the main reason my parents decided to homeschool me.

My first post was just to describe my experience and address the concerns of people who feel like it does not provide a proper social/academic environment for the children. I know that it doesn't work for some people (like my little brother), but it definitely worked for me and provided some fantastic opportunities. In my parents' case, they couldn't afford to send me to private school, so they did what they thought was the next best thing. As always, your mileage may vary.

 

[Jacq-i]

Quote:

Originally Posted by inlucesco Yet the only thing I EVER heard, as I was in middle/high school, from peers who went to traditional school was, "BUT! WHAT ABOUT YOUR *SOCIAL SKILLS!*" (And that still annoys me to death - am I not standing here carrying on a conversation with you, Sparky? What do you think social skills ARE? And furthermore, why do I get along with your parents better than you? )

Oh boy did I ever hear that.

Mostly heard that from public school teacher, who happened to be neighbors/friends' parents/etc... Anyway...

My mom semi-homeschooled me since age 4, but only officially from 1st grade - 12th grade. I have an older sister, and when I was four, she was going to public school. She'd do her homework, and I wanted to be just like her, so I asked my mom to teach me. I ended up reading chapter books and doing double-digit addition/subtraction at the age of four.

I went to public school for kindergarten, at the age of 5. While I enjoyed spending time with my peers, I would finish my projects right away, then had to sit still, quietly, until EVERYONE was finished. Mind you, the teacher was teaching my peers the alphabet, colors, and numbers. Nobody, other than myself, even knew how to count. I was miserable. I was bored. I, like most people-including adults, didn't like sitting in one spot for hours, while doing nothing.

My teacher decided I was suffering from ADHD, and reccomened that my parents drug me up, so that I could sit still and not disrupt her classroom.

At the same parent-teacher meeting, my parents asked if she could perhaps give me extra homework, more coloring sheets, or something to do, and she said no. They asked her if perhaps there was a way I could be transfered into the next grade, she said "No... Children should be with children of their age." Then my parents asked if there was perhaps a gifted program or something. She said that they had already "filled their hispanic quota" and didn't need anymore.

She then gave my parents some 'advise' "Don't teach her anymore. Nothing. She knows too much. It's causing problems."

My parents politely left the meeting, and promptly looked up alternatives to that public school. Mind you, we lived on the nice side of town, the school was brand new, it had great ratings, etc etc.

I continued at that school, and finished kindergarten. Now my mom being the way she is, decided that she would not listen to some teacher's advising me to stop learning. Rather, my mom taught me cursive and multiplication.

Anyway, the next fall we began officially homeschooling.

My parents went to homeschool book fairs, and did a lot of research on it. Every US state has different regulations about homeschooling, documentation, etc. My mother went to college, to become a teacher, but changed her mind midway through the program. I think that helped.

Homeschooling was the best thing for me. It was tailored to my "hyperactive" needs. It was nice because I had to do all my schoolwork, but if I was extra interested in something, I could do that as an extra project. I love learning about everything! We went on field trips, studied frogs, collected rocks... Plus if I wanted to do extra school on somedays, I could make my own holidays with no schoolwork!

We joined a homeschool group, which offered so many opportunities. I also joined 4-H, took piano lessons, guitar lessons, robotics club, volunteered, and had a design internship. I graduated early. My ACT scores were high, so I got a pretty nice academic scholarship to my university.

I think homeschooling is fantastic. The only key is giving the kids opportunities to socialize. I don't think 8 hours in a public school are necessary to be social. I also believe that because I used to talk to my parents, and other adults, I have better social skills than many of my peers today. You'd be surprised how many of my college peers don't like to talk to their professors because "they're old" and they don't know what to talk about.

I agree that there were some very very religious homeschool families that I felt uncomfortable around. I was the only Catholic, hispanic, and make-up wearing girl around.

But overall, most were quite welcoming and helpfull.

I wish goodluck to everyone that tries to homeschool. It takes time, but it's worth it.

 

[macslut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMarley I went to a private Christian college, which is the type of college that a lot of the very religious homeschooled families send their kids to...and many of them were incredibly unpleasant to be around, due to their lack of socialization and people skills. I remember being called a whore because I had *gasp* kissed a boy! They seemed to be unable to interact with others in a healthy way, especially people of the opposite sex. But that was certainly not universal. My best friend in the world was homeschooled, and he's the coolest guy ever. I just think it depends on the family and upbringing. As long as they know how to treat people, they're cool. And I think that applies to kids in general, homeschooled and public-schooled.

Really? The homeschooled kids that I am around are disciplined, kind, well adjusted and have outstanding social skills. They also don't bow to peer pressure and are overall better able to deal with the state university system and all that goes with it. they also came out with better more well rounded educations.

There is no way in hell that I would let my child anywhere near a public school and a private school would have to be carefully checked out(if I was going to have children that is)

I think there is a very bad stereotype of homeschooled children being sinisterly locked away from the "real world" to study the Bible and literal 7 24 hour day creationism. That's bullshit. There are homeschooling groups that deal with the social and educational. Every homeschooled kid that I know was never taught exclusively by their parents. Typically a group of parents shared the duties. For example, a parent with a PHD in Chemistry would cover chemistry (and probably more of the sciences) which happened in a friend's group. I know alot of groups that are creative with the curriculum but still meet and more often than not exceed state standards.

 

[eighmii]

I'm still in high school and oh how I would loooovvvve to be homeschooled. =] No uniforms, no strict schedules =]

No, but for real I'm glad I'm in school. If I wouldnt have grown up where I grew up I can't even imagine how I would've turned out.. I was a little P word in elementary school because (I was born in Charleston, WV.. there was 600 kids in my school ahahaha) I was so coddled.. then when I moved to West Palm Beach for 5th grade I LOVED IT. SO MANY PEOPLE! But then when I started middle school I did a lot of growing up.

My school was probabley 60% Spanish, 20% White and 20% black (thats 100 right? lollll) cause at that time I lived in a sorta rich whitey neighborhood (it was when my mom was still married.) But for some reason my school was REALLY bad. (They said our class was the worst class to ever go there) They found guns, knives, drugs blah blah all the time. (Well not guns all the time.. But I know atleast twice my 8th grade year cause my best friends mom was a dean). So I had to learn how to protect myself and stand up for myself.

I don't think if I was homeschooled I wouldve been able to learn those things.. You can go to as many homeschool activites and stuff as you want.. But you don't learn those kind of things there. You don't really learn the REAL stuff. You'll probabley get a better education if you're homeschooled..

But hey - I want to be a makeup artist, I dont need all kinds of booksmarts.

Now, in high school.. Its about 80/10/10. And my school is REALLY well behaved. But because our school is so poor people think its such a terrible school. (We also have a D rating.. because of stupid FCAT scores. Did you see the demographics? Like 20% of my school does not speak English.. that is so not fair that they can do that.)

Anyways.. I would never home school my kids. I think that you learn a lot about just LIFE in school. I'm not just talking social skills. Its just stuff you don't learn if youre homeschooled.

 

[Beauty Mark]

BTW, when I was talking about social skills, I meant a broad range of skills and things you learn that work in social situations. Saying no to drugs, dealing with bitchy people, standing up for yourself, being considerate of people whose backgrounds differ from yours, etc. Not just talking to people instead of awkwardly staring at the ground.

 

[MissMarley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark BTW, when I was talking about social skills, I meant a broad range of skills and things you learn that work in social situations. Saying no to drugs, dealing with bitchy people, standing up for yourself, being considerate of people whose backgrounds differ from yours, etc. Not just talking to people instead of awkwardly staring at the ground.

And those are exactly the types of social skills I was referring to when I talked about my experiences with the homeschooled kids at college. It was mostly the being considerate of people with different backgrounds from yours- I'm not saying that all homeschooled kids are like that, I was just sharing what my experience had been. And some of them told me about their experiences in homeschooling- two sisters I met literally lived in the woods with their mother, and only saw people on the "outside" once a week- at church. So everyone has different experiences with homeschooling. The ones who are getting a good education with lots of experiences that kids in public schools don't get- I think that's awesome. The ones locked away in the woods (and yes, that really does happen)- well, I feel sorry for them. I know both of those sisters have never had a functional relationship, either romantically or just a friendship.

 

[Raerae]

Yeh, i think just like public school, your mileage is going to vary on the quality of home schooling education as well. Not everyone gets to have someone who has a PHD in Chemistry, teach their Homeschool Chem class. But at least in a public school, you can expect your Chem teacher to have at least a Masters Degree in the field they are teaching in, as well as years of expierence. If anything, the majority of Moms who do homeschooling, are just housewives with the teachers edition. There is more to learning that just getting the answers correct on a test. I have an amazing memory, and i could get A's on nearly everything I was doing because it was easy to remember come test time. Doesn't mean I was "really" learning. Most of that stuff is now tucked away in some corner of my Memory. I had a hard time doing some basic Algebra at my job 10 years after my last Algebra class because I never use it. I was top of my Math class at the time with nearly a 100% in my Algebra class.

My Mom teaches public school, and she's had over like 35 years now building her program, refining it, incorporating new technologies, going back to school to get new credentials to keep up with the changing times etc. And she is very passionate about her classes. And from the conversations we have about her students, you can tell she's very conscerned with making sure that the students in her class are learning and doing well. Not just, "passing kids" to move them through the system.

Her biggest gripe, is not with the students, but with the parents. Who expect the school systems to do 100% of everything with regards to their childs education. Instead of understanding that schooling you child is a job that both the parents and school systems have to be activly involved in. You can't blame the public school system for not properly educating your kid. Especially if your not making sure your kids understand the value of a good education, by getting involved in their schooling and teaching by example.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

My boyfriend was home schooled his whole life, His mom is crazy I think she did it just to keep him at home around her, shes super paranoid. Hes also the only child.

My boyfriend is insanely smart. It blows my mind the things he knows just being able to tinker with everything growing up. He has a very high IQ .

His social skills however.. when I met him over 5 years ago were AWFUL.. our first date consisted of no talking.. we said a few words, I thought he hated me , I felt pretty bad, turns out he was just extremely shy. We have since fixed that problem hes very outgoing now. He hates whenever I talk about high school activity's because he never was able to go to any of them. He used to get upset when I would talk about all the fun I had in high school, I went mainly because my friends were there, my grades were awful I had a C average.

Teachers LOVE LOVE LOVE to play the "A.D.D card" Almost everyone I know , at some point has had a teacher mention A.D.D to their parents.,including myself. I didn't have A.D.D .. I needed a better teacher!

However... I wouldn't trade my high school experience for Home schooling. my kids won't be home schooled.
I learned not only "book things" but I also learned how to deal with people.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MxAxC-_ATTACK Teachers LOVE LOVE LOVE to play the "A.D.D card" Almost everyone I know , at some point has had a teacher mention A.D.D to their parents.,including myself. I didn't have A.D.D .. I needed a better teacher!

I gave my Kindergarden teacher hell because I used to get up and walk out of her class because I was finished with her assignments already lol...

 

[Dark_Phoenix]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae I gave my Kindergarden teacher hell because I used to get up and walk out of her class because I was finished with her assignments already lol...

Another reason why I love my school. We HAVE to leave the room after we take a test or quiz, otherwise we could be penalized for helping someone who's still working, lol.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae I gave my Kindergarden teacher hell because I used to get up and walk out of her class because I was finished with her assignments already lol...

haha I had similar situations.. I would just start doing something else... and for some reason teachers don't really like that. It got to the point where I felt if I got caught reading ahead in a chapter, I would get in trouble! ,..Its not MY fault the other kids were too busy screwing off not doing their work.. and I am the one who gets "diagnosed" with A.D.D ?!?

 

[hoemygosh]

I was homeschooled for a period of time. I wouldn't really call it homeschool though. I still went to class twice a week for at least an hour. I didn't want to leave my highschool, but I was called into the counseling office right before second semester of my 11th year. they told me that at the rate I'm going I didn't have enough credits to graduate. I really hate summer school. And even If I did summer school & take a 4th period ( we were on the block schedule, so half the year we would take 3 classes, then in febuary we would take a different 3. our classes were an hour and 40 minutes long each, and we got out of school at 1 PM.) I still wouldn't have enough credits to graduate. ( not because i'm stupid. But because my school system never entered me into a pre-algebra class. and by that time i was taking trigonometry, i dont know why they kept thinking that I knew what I was doing, I failed EVERY math class besides geometry since the 8th grade.) So I just simply decided to do HOME STUDIES, I still interacted with students in my class, and interacted with the teachers there. I made friends also. Most of the kids who went there were from my highschool anyways. I graduated on time, which is what i wanted. And my graduation ceremony was gorgeous, at the pasadena civic center. I'm very glad that chose to do home studies, I learned much more than I ever learned in highschool.