BEA2LS
Well-known member
I have a problem
Over a year ago an old friend came over out of the blue to show me an engagement ring. We used to be real tight, not best friends but we worked together and went places together.. even short vacations. I was single, her boyfriend was away at college in another state and she was my bar buddy basically. we shared some interests, she visited me in the hospital, it was nice.
Than her and her boyfriend broke up, I met my current boyfriend and we moved on. she met up with her old friends including her best friend who she really missed. it was fine no fights just moving on. it happens.
but yea, she asked me to be a bridesmaid last year. at first i said no but than she invited me over to her new apartment and i met her finance (who i knew of but never met, he was friends with her ex boyfriend). it was like old times so i said yeah.
fast forward maybe five months. no word from her, i assumed i wasnt in the wedding anymore. that was fine, i got the invite, replied to it and assumed i was a guest.
i ran into her about two months after that and she asked when i was going to get the bridesmaid gown.. this is where i messed up, i shoulda said no than but i felt so awkward and the wedding was still half a year away so i said when it gets closer...
now mind you, this is not a regular gown, it is a theme wedding and the gown is very expensive.. more than hers cost actually and because i am a bigger person i have to pay at least $50 extra to get it special made. it is off a webpage so i would have to pay for shipping than alterations. i thought the bridal party would get together and i would be more comfortable with this. but it never happened. she did not want a bridal shower, no parties, i have no idea who the other girls in the wedding are, i never met them, have no idea how many of them there are, etc. since i heard no word i again assumed it was not really planned.
fast forward to last week, she told me that it was the last possible week to get this dress. i mentioned having money problems on here, i cannot afford a dress right now! it cost more than double what her gown costs and i really was stupid and thought i wasn't gonna be in this wedding.. like at first she went over details with me than she just stopped - even though i found out she was on a sick leave at work (broken leg, no problem) and really did have the time to reach out.
i don't wanna be in this wedding.. i know if i am in it i will probably never talk to her again. i just feel so guilty, i think she asked out of loneliness because she also said she has nobody to ask but me that she can trust to watch her house when she is on her honeymoon0
i tactfully told her i couldn't be in the wedding i cannot afford it. but she does not get it! she said she told the lady at the webpage to just order the dresses. i have no idea whose dresses she means and i asked if she got my message before (she is impossible to reach by phone!) she was like whats going on
and here i am.. i feel like i am going to be suckered into this wedding i feel horrible saying that but over the years i spent a lot a lot of money on her and i just don't feel like i have any money left to spend. even if i somehow get the money for it i have no idea if i would even want to spend it on her wedding since i have so many other bills and am barely getting by.. i mean the wedding is like a month away! i have no idea how she can order this dress as she has no idea what size to get since they do not even make it in my size.
i just feel like such scum bag for not telling her no sooner, i am ashamed to even post this

Than her and her boyfriend broke up, I met my current boyfriend and we moved on. she met up with her old friends including her best friend who she really missed. it was fine no fights just moving on. it happens.
but yea, she asked me to be a bridesmaid last year. at first i said no but than she invited me over to her new apartment and i met her finance (who i knew of but never met, he was friends with her ex boyfriend). it was like old times so i said yeah.
fast forward maybe five months. no word from her, i assumed i wasnt in the wedding anymore. that was fine, i got the invite, replied to it and assumed i was a guest.
i ran into her about two months after that and she asked when i was going to get the bridesmaid gown.. this is where i messed up, i shoulda said no than but i felt so awkward and the wedding was still half a year away so i said when it gets closer...
now mind you, this is not a regular gown, it is a theme wedding and the gown is very expensive.. more than hers cost actually and because i am a bigger person i have to pay at least $50 extra to get it special made. it is off a webpage so i would have to pay for shipping than alterations. i thought the bridal party would get together and i would be more comfortable with this. but it never happened. she did not want a bridal shower, no parties, i have no idea who the other girls in the wedding are, i never met them, have no idea how many of them there are, etc. since i heard no word i again assumed it was not really planned.
fast forward to last week, she told me that it was the last possible week to get this dress. i mentioned having money problems on here, i cannot afford a dress right now! it cost more than double what her gown costs and i really was stupid and thought i wasn't gonna be in this wedding.. like at first she went over details with me than she just stopped - even though i found out she was on a sick leave at work (broken leg, no problem) and really did have the time to reach out.
i don't wanna be in this wedding.. i know if i am in it i will probably never talk to her again. i just feel so guilty, i think she asked out of loneliness because she also said she has nobody to ask but me that she can trust to watch her house when she is on her honeymoon0
i tactfully told her i couldn't be in the wedding i cannot afford it. but she does not get it! she said she told the lady at the webpage to just order the dresses. i have no idea whose dresses she means and i asked if she got my message before (she is impossible to reach by phone!) she was like whats going on
and here i am.. i feel like i am going to be suckered into this wedding i feel horrible saying that but over the years i spent a lot a lot of money on her and i just don't feel like i have any money left to spend. even if i somehow get the money for it i have no idea if i would even want to spend it on her wedding since i have so many other bills and am barely getting by.. i mean the wedding is like a month away! i have no idea how she can order this dress as she has no idea what size to get since they do not even make it in my size.
i just feel like such scum bag for not telling her no sooner, i am ashamed to even post this
