...I'm a homewrecker?

[Dani]

Let me start off by saying I'm 18 and the man in this story is 40 and I shall call him Q from here on (I dunno why I picked Q...anyway...)

So I've been friendly with my coworker q for about a year now, and he was talking about his daughter wanting cowboy boots that were very expensive. I have another job at a shoe store where we recently got a large shipment of cowboy boots and I offered him a discount. There were several phone calls back and forth about size, style, etc. He gave me a number to call him at but whenever he was the one calling me his number came up as restricted. He got the boots with a discount and took them to another state where his wife and daughter are. On Thursday I missed a call from a restricted number, so I sent a text asking if he had called and if it wasn't him sorry to be a bother, figuring that there was a problem with the shoes and he wanted his money back. Yesterday night he called me and said that my text caused a huge problem between him and his wife and theyre divorcing.

....what? WHAT?! I'm feeling so many things. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but I still feel like it's my fault. Especially because he pretty much blamed me on the phone...which I'm kind of hurt about. He knows I hate for anyone to be unhappy and it feels like he just wanted to hurt me the way he talked to me. Did I do something wrong? Maybe because I'm so much younger I did something I don't understand...but I didn't mean any harm, I truly didn't. Bear in mind I have NO feelings for him, if anything he's kind of uncle-ish to me. Please give me your thoughts and advice. I wish there was some way to help but I think right now the best way to help is to stay away. But since you ladies are mostly older than I am I'd really love to hear what you think of the situation.

 

[sharkbytes]

I don't think you did anything wrong. The relationship between Q and his wife is obviously strained if a text message from a coworker about a pair of boots is causing an immediate divorce. Don't even waste your time feeling guilty or responsible--you did a nice thing for someone, went above and beyond, and you do not deserve to be treated like the problem.

Clearly there is a trust issue there that has nothing to do with you. If Q had told his wife, "Yes, that's my coworker, she must be asking about the boots," that should have been the end of the story in a solid relationship. You didn't do anything wrong, and it's sweet of you to be concerned but it isn't warranted. If you do speak to this person again, be up front and let him know that you didn't intend to cause a problem, you were simply making sure that everything worked out regarding the purchase. If he gives you any crap, I'd stay away from such a toxic person.

 

[Shimmer]

You didn't do anything wrong. There are things that have been happening there that you likely don't know anything about. It's not you, it's him.

 

[MacAddict_Sami]

You didn't do anything wrong... I have the feeling there is something more to this story that he's not telling you...

 

[ClaireAvril]

that is absolutely ridiculous..
Anyone who is ready to get a divorce over a text message has issues.. i wouldn't feel bad about someone blowing something so out of proportion.
But then.. you have to think.. who knows what is going on in his relationship.. maybe he's cheated before and the wife has had enough.

All in all.. you know you did nothing wrong so I wouldn't waste a minute of sleep over that.

 

[TISH1124]

If he is getting a divorce after a text message trust me there were far more serious problems going on well before that message was received.

 

[talste]

agree with the above, Don't let it bother you & if Q brings it up again tell him to get over it.

He sounds kinda immature for his age going by what you've said, btw my hubby is also 40 & I swear his emotional maturity stunted at 18, lol

 

[burnitdown_x]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 If he is getting a divorce after a text message trust me there were far more serious problems going on well before that message was received.

Exactly, exactly. I completely agree with this.

I mean I'm sure there were many many problems in that relationship before the text message. The text message was just the breaking point in their marriage. I find that the fact that he blamed all of this on you is completely irresponsible. You did the guy a favor, you really did not deserve what he said to you. Don't waste your time feeling guilty. There were definitely lots of problems between them way before you texted him. He was probably just looking for someone to blame other than himself.

 

[kimmy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer You didn't do anything wrong. There are things that have been happening there that you likely don't know anything about. It's not you, it's him.

agreed. people usually don't divorce over a text message over shoes. my money's on there's something alot bigger at play here that caused this. he probably fucked up and just wants a scapegoat.

 

[jaysgirl]

He needs to grow up! You did nothing wrong at all. Healthy relationships involve trust. If he's getting a divorce over a text, there's definitely no trust there. They were over long before you ever met

 

[Jello89]

You did nothing wrong. She could have been nervous because of all the calls between you guys. But there were obviously prior trust issues. MAJOR trust issues. Its like a silly girl breaking up with her boyfriend because he talks to another girl. Boo.

 

[SparklingWaves]

I am a married woman and I would not divorce my husband over some text messages over boots for one of the kids.

Q. is playing a head game with you. He does not want you text him -EVER, because he is involved with someone be it his wife or fill in the blank.

If he is getting a divorce, it sure is not over some boots. Unless, he is hooking up with some other boots elsewhere or wants to hook up with younger boots. If that is the case, as his wife, I would serve Q a boot sandwich for dinner.

Just go on and do your job as usual. I would not help him get anymore boots or get anywhere close to my boots.

 

[babyjazy21]

WHAAAT? Seriously this Q guy is very imature

I mean come on a text message cannot cause a divorce especially if you only asked who called you. There are many reasons behind that divorce but he's just trying to blame it on you so you can feel bad.
I know you might feel bad hun but seriously it's not your fault at all, so don't feel bad for him.

 

[Mercurial]

Agree with the others, one text message such as that would not equal immediate divorce! There must have been previous problems and he is passing the blame, maybe is wife already has reason to have trust issues with him??

It will be difficult for you as he's your boss, but you have no reason to feel guilty for anything. When you go back to work act as normal, be polite and let the ball be in his court to see how he reacts.

I hope it all turns out okay.

 

[reesesilverstar]

Girl plz... They've had a strained relationship for a while now I'm sure... His wife prolly wanted a way out, and needed to say he's been cheating. Blew up and him being the skirt in the relationship couldn't stand up for himself and tried to blame you...

Look at the content of the text. "A problem with the shoes." Not "Hi baby, I miss you, hurry back..." So no luv, you didn't do anything wrong... Their relationship went south and nobody wants to play adult...

I wouldn't bother with either of them...

 

[laguayaca]

Girl like the other ladies here said, "You did NOTHING wrong!" there's no reasn you should feel guilt whatsoever! There was definitely issues already pending if something so insignificant is about to case their divorce. He is probably trying to play you into being with him, so be careful. For all you know he could be making it up to "seem" available now hoping in his sick and twisted mind because of your "guilt" you will fall. Be careful darling if I was you I would never talk to him again just to avoid him!

 

[florabundance]

Maybe the wife has cause to think he's playin round and ur text tipped her over the edge. Did u mention the boots in the text, or was it just a "did u call me i think i missed it" text?
Either way, ur really not to blame for his marital problems...but he does sound sorta shady.

 

[katie_070405]

After reading the posts I think.....maybe the wife has been cheating & this is just an easy out??? Seriously though, it has nothing to do with you.

 

[Dani]

Quote:

Originally Posted by florabundance Maybe the wife has cause to think he's playin round and ur text tipped her over the edge. Did u mention the boots in the text, or was it just a "did u call me i think i missed it" text? Either way, ur really not to blame for his marital problems...but he does sound sorta shady.

No I just asked if I missed the call and said sorry to be a bother if he hadn't called. I even hesitated about sending it but I thought about it and figured he would be calling about a refund if he was calling from another state.

Anyway thank you ALL so much, I really appreciate your opinions on this

 

[vampwillow]

I agree with the others, there was nothing that you did to cause any of this.You are not a homewrecker.You did something nice for someone and that was all.