I'm Kicking My Own Ass and I Could Use Some Help....

[kuuipo1207]

Alright, so I'm finally going to stop being a big chicken and just get this out in the open already. I've been struggling with my weight pretty much all my life from my mom telling me to always suck in my stomach and stand up straight, to her taking me to Jenny Craig when I was 10 (actually we were going for my dad and after they finished talking with him about it, she looked at me and asked the lady "Is there a program that you guys have that I can put my daughter on?"...I was 10. 10!!), to battling bulemia in high school/college, to gaining weight (a LOT of weight) after getting married, and I'm fed up with it. I've tried everything from the Atkins, to the South Beach, to diet pills like Hydroxycut and Trimspa, to Slim-fast shakes, to practical starvation by eating only one meal a day. Stupid? Yes, I know. Needless to say I'm fed up with myself, my weight, my eating habits, and my lazy ass.
Since this year has started I've gone on a diet and off a diet, which I need to realize that I am not "dieting". What I initially am doing is changing my lifestyle. I've been trying to choose healthier foods, eat smaller portions, and cook with less fats. After a couple of weeks or so, however, I'll have that one brownie, then want another one, and soon enough, I've failed myself, because I think I've failed because I slipped up. But I'm only human! Shit, I tell people this all the time when they make mistakes! Why the hell should I be any different?!?
I've been slacking on the exercise part, but I'm going to to start kicking myself in the @$$ and get myself to the gym. If I don't go to the gym, I'm popping in a damn DVD, cause God only knows how many f'in workout DVD's I have from Tae-bo to Power 90 to Pilates to Yoga.
I figure this is how I will keep myself accountable. I've always done this alone, for the most part, so if I failed, it was always only me that would be disappointed, and it would always only be me that would have to know that I "failed". I've been debating about posting a thread about this issue cause it's always been a personal issue with me, but I have come to see that 99% of you guys and gals here on specktra are a great group of supporters and motivators. I've always felt like I've needed to set up this great image of "I'm happy with who I am", "I don't have a problem" image...which for the most part, I am happy with who I am...as a person. My weight, however, is something that I always let get me down. Sure people have told me that I "carry" my weight well. Hell my dad thought I weighted 150 in high school, when in reality I weighed 200. My husband's cousin guessed my weight was 235 when I was really 267. But that's besides the point....
So here's my announcement to all you specktralites out there...and even to myself as a wake up call. I am not going on a diet! I am not working out "just" to lose weight. I am changing my lifestyle and my eating habits. I am going to work out cause I want to have a healthy body that will last me well into old age, and cause I will be happier as a person.I have had two members of my family who have had gastric-bypasses. I do not want to have to resort to that. I will do this the right way and I will succeed at it. If I slip up, I will realize that I am only human, and it was only that one instance...it is not something that my entire life should be affected by! And I am doing this for me, to make me feel better about myself, to make me feel better, period.
I just need some help every now and then with a couple of swift kicks in the ass. So when I become lax in posting or anything, can someone hold me accountable? Please? TIA.

BTW, I started this last week on 08/12/2007

Starting weight: 281
Current weight: 277
Goal weight: 160-165
Total Loss of ----120-125 lbs.


Now to make sure I actually keep up my end of this bargin and hit "submit new thread"......

 

[Shimmer]

Congrats for deciding to make the changes!

 

[KAIA]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kuuipo1207 So here's my announcement to all you specktralites out there...and even to myself as a wake up call. I am not going on a diet! I am not working out "just" to lose weight. I am changing my lifestyle and my eating habits. I am going to work out cause I want to have a healthy body that will last me well into old age, and cause I will be happier as a person.I have had two members of my family who have had gastric-bypasses. I do not want to have to resort to that. I will do this the right way and I will succeed at it. If I slip up, I will realize that I am only human, and it was only that one instance...it is not something that my entire life should be affected by! And I am doing this for me, to make me feel better

You have NO idea how happy I am to hear somebody saying that, really, that's awesome! and that's how you have to think to really DO IT. For yourself, for your better, for you to be happy.
I just want you to know, that we are here for you!, I'm gonna be following all your fitness journal...
Kisses
Kaia.

 

[MACATTAK]

Congrats on your decision! It sounds like you are really ready & that's what's going to keep you motivated. We are all here for you & I admire that you put everything out on the table. Keep us all updated! You CAN do it

 

[kuuipo1207]

Thanks for encouragement!

I've had this feeling before where I was all motivated and ready to kick my own ass...let's hope this time it stays.

So I started a "weight loss" blog to try and keep a journal for myself and I decided I would search for other peoples' weight loss/management blogs and found this site -- http://www.buddyslim.com

It's kinda like a myspace but for people who are wanting to lose weight and stuff. There's a bunch of other people on there who are looking to do the same thing as you. It's really cool! Anyways, just thought I'd post that in case anyone else was interested. I decided I'm keep a blog on that site instead cause it'd be easier for me to keep track of a blog through there then separately on my own somewhere else AND on that site. Plus it's easier to find other people that you can motivate and who can motivate you in the process! Double bonus!!

 

[Jot]

Good luck - you sound really motivated to keep it up. the results really will be worth the effort. i lost 3 stone a couple of years ago and it was the best thing i've ever done. As you say you will slip up you are only human but just pick yourself up and get back on with it. The lifestyle change attitude it totally the right thing - you can't just diet for x amount of time then stop and switch back to how it was as that just doesn't work unfortunately.
Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[User49]

I would advice sorting out the psychological side of your wieght problems instead of doing all the diets. Usually there is something behind dragging you down and contributing to the weight gain. (Your mother and childhood obviously a big part of it... ) Try congnative behavioral therapy. xx

 

[minisprite]

Glad someone mentioned CBT, cognitive behaviour therapy sounds like a really good investment of your time on this issue. It'll help you to untangle the nuts and bolts of your attitude to food and weight and help you to see it in a new light that's healthier and happier for you. Really admire you for taking responsibility for changing your life.

 

[Hilly]

You rock!! You can always come to us for support!

 

[courters]

Here's a tip that my fiance learned while trying to lose weight - check EVERYTHING you eat for trans fats. They are extremely addicting, so when you that one brownie with trans fat in it, it will be so, so hard for you to not eat that second, third, and fourth brownie. Once he started checking everything for trans fats (just check the nutrition label, it's crazy what kind of stuff has it) and totally cut them out, he's been doing a lot better. He never has cravings at all anymore and once it gets out of your system (it can take a little while) you will realize how much better you are doing!

I myself had a problem with fast food (mainly McNuggets, haha) and he encouraged me to go 30 days with no fast food. It was hard at first, but once it was over, I didn't even want it anymore because I had quit eating all the trans fats. Do a search on them to find out exactly why they are bad, addicting, etc if you haven't heard anything about it before and want to know more.

It takes a lot of willpower to change your lifestyle like that, so congratulations!! I wish I could get motivated to go to the gym!

 

[kuuipo1207]

Quote:

Originally Posted by glitternmyveins I would advice sorting out the psychological side of your wieght problems instead of doing all the diets. Usually there is something behind dragging you down and contributing to the weight gain. (Your mother and childhood obviously a big part of it... ) Try congnative behavioral therapy. xx

Quote:

Originally Posted by minisprite Glad someone mentioned CBT, cognitive behaviour therapy sounds like a really good investment of your time on this issue. It'll help you to untangle the nuts and bolts of your attitude to food and weight and help you to see it in a new light that's healthier and happier for you. Really admire you for taking responsibility for changing your life.

My husband's brought up that I should check out therapy. I don't know why but I've always had this "stigma" about therapists. When other people see them, cool. That's awesome for them cause they're getting help in stuff that they can't solve on their own and want some guidance in the right direction. But when I think about me going to therapy....I dunno. It's like it's the complete opposite (There I go again with the thinking I have to be stronger than everyone else). I've tried reading through Dr. Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solution" to think about why I think the way I do. I get to about the 3rd or 4th chapter and quit reading. It's like I'd rather stay thinking the way I think than get help cause it's like I'd have to reopen all the wounds that I've just finally put away and swept under the carpet. But then again, I guess all I've done is just hid the dirt rather than actually clean it up and get it out of the way completely. I'll look into it. After all, like my husband says, "it's not like you'd have to pay for the healthcare we're getting for free?!?" (he's in the military).

 

[frocher]

That's fantastic, you can totally do this. Please do keep us posted, we are totally behind you!

 

[trojanpopcorn]

What I will definately stress to you is that DIET is 80% of the battle. If you can't workout, don't stress as much, if you can concentrate on your diet you will see changes. Also, it takes 3 weeks to set a habit so after a month the dieting won't seem so difficult

Best of luck!

 

[kuuipo1207]

Yeah it's alway that first two to three weeks for me. One step at a time.

I figure I'll focus on my foods and what I'm eating for about a week or two, then being to incorporate the exercise and everything, so I'm not bombarding myself all at once with everything. I have been trying to be more active a little bit though...like dancing my way around the house or doing some tahitian dancing while doing the dishes. lol

 

[laguayaca]

you inspire me!

 

[dmenchi]

Girl, as long as you don't put yourself through another eating disorder, please be healthy and be yourself, nobody wants a skinny little petty chick-enjoy life in a healthy way. i'm proud of you for overcoming all the bad things in your life- be happy and positive and if you need a kick in the butt, pm me! BE HEALTHY NOT SKINNY!!!!

 

[1165Cheryl]

I'll Try And Check In As Much As Possible

I Too Have Had Problems, The Last 3 Years The Worse Due To Thyroid Goiters. I Gained 30 Lbs And Am Having A Tough Time Losing It And Emotionally Its Hard Cause Part Of It Is Out Of My Control. I'm Also Disabled Which Is Why This Is All Caps, Nerve/muscle Damage Through Out Body. Anyway, I'm Sorry I Didnt Mean To Make This About Me. You Realizing It's A Life Style Change And Not A "diet" Is A Big Step Already

One Thing That Has Help Me Is I Got A Step Counter So Now I Make Sure I Walk A Certain Amount Each Day.

 

[mskitchmas]

You can do it! Keep up the good work. Sounds like you've got the right idea, one day at a time!

G

D LUCK!!!

 

[Vienna]

I highly recommend checking into Body For Life.



Bonnie

 

[kuuipo1207]

Do I have to pay for anything or buy any products?