Just Broken Up...Is it time to move on?

BinkysBaby

New member
My partner and I of 2 1/2 years just broke up. I am not interested in another relationship because our's was intense and I want to be able to completely heal before moving on. Plus, I'm in school full time and I work full time so I would really need someone who understands my life.

Here's the issue:
When I first started my job (about a year and a half ago) there was a chick (Laurie) who worked with the training department. I immediately knew she was a lesbian and through us talking, she quickly found out that I'm a lesbian as well. She was in a relationship and so was I. There was always chemistry (which I felt very guilty about) but we never, ever, ever acted on it.

Not only was there physical chemistry, I felt like we were so, so, so much alike in so many ways that it scared me. I felt some "soul-matish qualities" and it freaked me the hell out because I had a girlfriend and so did she. Neither one of us had ANY intentions of leaving.

Now she just broke up with her girlfriend and she hinted around today that she would like to ask me out. I was freaking floored. She's my perfect physical type, she stimulates me intellectually, we have the same family values....it's crazy.

Should I hang out with her? We both literally broke up (about 2 weeks) and it just feels so soon. I don't want to start something before I'm ready but I've been secretly wanting her almost since I met her.

What's a girl to do?
 

Simply Elegant

New member
Well you could talk about it but let her know at the same time that you don't want this to turn into a rebound thing and that you want her and yourself to be over your previous relationships. It might take awhile but if you have that much of a connection it'll be worth it.
 

MACATTAK

New member
I think you should go for it. If you feel you are so compatible, what's wrong with trying it out? At least you would know for sure. If you think it's too early, let her know you want to take things slowly.
 

wolfsong

New member
MAybe tell her how you feel about her, and that you would like something to happen but you both need time to heal. If she is the right person for you, she will wait. Its better to continue being just friends for a while longer, then start up something too soon and have what could have potentially been something amazing ruined because you werent ready. Good luck anyways, it sounds like you're on to a good thing!
 

SingFrAbsoltion

New member
Usually I'd say no since you just broke up, but that's only because for me, I need time to heal before I truly like anyone else. But you said it yourself, she's your perfect type, there's chemistry...so I can't see why you wouldn't at least hang out, just try to take it slow if anything. Good luck =]
 

SparklingWaves

New member
This maybe just a physical attraction. Physical chemistry is a powerful thing. You will not know unless you date her. You will know if you date her a time or two if you really want to go forward with anything else. You can tell her up front - '"Can we just keep this as a friendship thing or go out for fun, because I just got out of a serious relationship and I am not ready for something really intense right now? People respect honesty.
 

BinkysBaby

New member
Thanks for all of the input guys.
I think that the best thing to do is to build a friendship.
We've being doing that for the last year and a half or so.
I think that it'll be different now....since we're single.
Although I'm not shy, I would not have approached her.
Well today, e-mailed me and said "if you ever want to talk...here's my number."
So we exchanged numbers but it's awkward. I still live with my ex (although I moved onto the other room) and she still lives with her ex.
I think that I've decided what I'm going to do.

I'm going to be honest. I'm going to let her know exactly how I feel. I'm going to tell her like you guys said, it's important for us not to be rebounds. I've never had a rebound relationship and I don't want to start. I'm going to tell her that we should build a friendship that's more strong first. And the timing will be better once we are over our ex's....and moved out from with them too.

I'll keep you guys posted.
 

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