looks like it's going to be a crappy christmas!

[Babylard]

aw thats really kinda sad actually.. i dont think chelle means it in a bad way. i think she feels hurt by the fact that she really took the effort to get nice things for him out of love but he doesn't show the same affect for her. i'd be hurt too. gifts don't have to be expensive, but it sounds to me he cares more for himself.

i stopped buying mac to save money to get him something nice and do fun things over the holidays and that takes a lot of effort for me. in return, i hope he takes the same consideration and saves something on my behalf. if not, i'd be hurt too if my bf spent all his money on clothes for himself... vbmenu_register("postmenu_1419394", true);

 

[Blushbaby]

Erm ..he's expecting YOU to buy HIS family presents and then he'll be grinning in their faces when they're flinging their arms around him in thanks?!!

Uh-uuuh! I don't think so luv! I don't care how long you been together. If he had money to blow at his warehouse sale, then he had money to put aside for a few gifts too.

One thing you wrote irked me though. When you said that you'd bought him a load of expensive gifts that you now can't take back. Nobody put a gun to your head when you were buying those gifts, so for you to want to take them back just because he's not bought you anything is a bit childish IMO.

You also don't have to near bankrupt yourself to show your man you care, bear that in mind. He doesn't even sound deserving of the gifts you've bought him anyway!

His actions have obviously hurt your feelings, but you live and learn. Maybe a guy who thinks nothing of spending $$$$ on himself whilst expecting his girlf to pick up the tab and buy his family's gifts isn't the man for you!

Sorry if I've come across a bit harsh, but I've only told you what I would my own girls IRL!

 

[florabundance]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blushbaby Uh-uuuh! I don't think so luv! I don't care how long you been together. If he had money to blow at his warehouse sale, then he had money to put aside for a few gifts too. One thing you wrote irked me though. When you said that you'd bought him a load of expensive gifts that you now can't take back. Nobody put a gun to your head when you were buying those gifts, so for you to want to take them back just because he's not bought you anything is a bit childish IMO. You also don't have to near bankrupt yourself to show your man you care, bear that in mind. He doesn't even sound deserving of the gifts you've bought him anyway!

These are my thoughts exactly.

 

[Kayteuk]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chellebreezy i will admit that i was expecting at least something from him. but to be honest, i'm just more mad at the fact that he didn't even bother to think about me...or anybody else in his family (he's not even able to get his family gifts either, he expects me to buy them things and he'll just put his name on the gift tags), instead he thought about himself and that sale.

I expect to get slated by someone for this, but its my opinion and if you dont like it then dont say anything.

Yeah dont do that, I would just keep the presents and not give anything at all, just enjoy the fun bit of christmas, the company, music, decorations and the alcohol! Its not all about presents....However...

I did that for a boyfriend 2 years ago at Christmas, I got nothing back, and gave his family presents because he was broke.
Guess when we broke up? January 6th. Guess who got used for money because they are generous!

Don't do it.

I would talk it out with him though, but its always better to be "even" at Christmas. Just tell him, "Well since you didn't get me anything, I didn't get you or your family anything, I thought you had that covered?" And then just have a jolly Christmas with lots of wine!

Its not worth the time or hassle at Christmas sometimes, the guy I am seeing and I are buying presents for my puppy instead of each other! I think that's the way to go.

Skip present giving SPOIL THE PUPPY....LOL!

 

[abbey_08]

i still say ebay his presents and buy urself sumthin pretty with the money

 

[Cutetoughgirl]

Omg.........is this guy for real??? I myself wouldn't give him the gifts that i bought. Not only for the fact that he didn't get anything for you...but for the fact that clearly Christmas to him is not about gift giving...so he will understand and be fine with not receiving any gifts as he is the one who will have set that standard. Christmas is about spending time with family and friends..holiday cheer......I go home every year for Christmas..come hell or high water...spent $810 on a flight...as well as sent 3 huge moving boxes full of gifts to my family......I know I wont be filling those boxes up and bringing them back full of gifts..but I don't care...to me I enjoy giving everyone gifts...EVERYONE THAT IS GREATFUL ....so if mr. greedy pants doesn't appreciate you or your generosity...I wouldnt bother...its not up to you to buy his family gifts...unless it is something that you picked from the heart that YOU wanted to give........from you.....not with his name on the tag!!!!!! If he can't take the time or effort to pick something out for you he clearly doesn't have regard for you. I broke up with a boyfriend over the fact that he could'nt have the decency to give me a card on our anniversary........now keep in mind..the card was in the door of his car he was just too lazy to sign it!!!! Men like that are a waste of time...simple things that they can't put effort into only pave the way for what the future will hold. Enjoy your Christmas don't worry about what you are not getting and focus on the joys of spending time with family and loved ones. Oh my that sounded cheesy but it is true. Memories are something you will have for a lifetime..

 

[ImMACnificent]

You should donate his gifts to needy families/fathers.

 

[Kayteuk]

I completly agree with the above ^^^^.

 

[LP_x]

Since we're giving honest opinions...

I'm really miffed as to why you want to send his gifts back now that you know he isn't buying you anything. Did you only buy him XYZ under the assumption that he'd be buying you ABC in return? That's pretty rubbish IMHO.

I buy my fiance gifts because I know he'll love them, and I love seeing him happy. He shows me he loves me in plenty of other ways throughout the year. I'd much rather something from the heart - whether it be breakfast in bed or something - than something that he feels he HAS to buy because of the time of year. Maybe I'm a simple girl.

He may be planning a surprise, or maybe he's been saving for your Christmas presents. You have absolutely no idea, and how can you call him selfish if you don't know? You won't know until Christmas morning. I'm seriously bemused.

 

[abbey_08]

in my honest opinion i know if i spent time and a large amount of money on my bfs present then got nothing back i would be really annoyed espec if he spent all his money on clothes then pleaded poverty!! me and my bf set a limit so we know we will get eachother the same. is it materailistic? yeh but atleast im honest about it!! its easy to say shes being materialistic/selfish but at the end of the day its what not giving her a present represents. it just shows he doesnt care about her or his family if hes willing to waste all his money on himself before others. if he wasnt gonna get presents he should of told her so upfront...or atleast bought something small and sentimental

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kayteuk I expect to get slated by someone for this, but its my opinion and if you dont like it then dont say anything. LOL!

I don't think you will be bashed by anyone because we have all voiced our opinions good, bad or indifferent......But why is it if you say something ... and people don't like it or agree ...They are not however entitled to respond or say anything as you put it?? I personally don't get that?.

 

[Lapis]

Look yeah we can all be Xmas isn't about the gifts etc etc etc
Whatever I'd be REALLY pissed if my bf shopped for himself, gave me nothing, then expected me to buy his family gifts.
I would definately be returning the bigger ticket items and giving him a small token and keeping my cash in my pocket, screw playing Santa Hello Kitty is coming, and she's ever so loving.

 

[vocaltest]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 I don't think you will be bashed by anyone because we have all voiced our opinions good, bad or indifferent......But why is it if you say something ... and people don't like it or agree ...They are not however entitled to respond or say anything as you put it?? I personally don't get that?.

I think its because sometimes when you post something you sometimes know to yourself that someone somewhere isn't going to like what you said so its like a defence barrier by saying 'don't slate me' beforehand. People take things very seriously on the internet, I learnt the hard way haha. Seriously, when I got a bashing (not on here) you would have thought I'd shat on everyones doorsteps by the way everyone was reacting!! (i have poop on the mind after reading the 'was i too harsh thread?

)

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vocaltest I think its because sometimes when you post something you sometimes know to yourself that someone somewhere isn't going to like what you said so its like a defence barrier by saying 'don't slate me' beforehand. People take things very seriously on the internet, I learnt the hard way haha. Seriously, when I got a bashing (not on here) you would have thought I'd shat on everyones doorsteps by the way everyone was reacting!! (i have poop on the mind after reading the 'was i too harsh thread? )

Ok, I see...but if you post it you are opening yourself up to comments, criticism etc....Hell People always have something to say against what I say...But I have thick skin...If not I would not comment in chatter or deep thoughts..I don't take anything personal

 

[ImMACnificent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by vocaltest I think its because sometimes when you post something you sometimes know to yourself that someone somewhere isn't going to like what you said so its like a defence barrier by saying 'don't slate me' beforehand. People take things very seriously on the internet, I learnt the hard way haha. Seriously, when I got a bashing (not on here) you would have thought I'd shat on everyones doorsteps by the way everyone was reacting!! (i have poop on the mind after reading the 'was i too harsh thread? )

Glad I could help put poop on your mind

 

[vocaltest]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 Ok, I see...but if you post it you are opening yourself up to comments, criticism etc....Hell People always have something to say against what I say...But I have thick skin...If not I would not comment in chatter or deep thoughts..I don't take anything personal

True. I guess some people are more sensitive? I dunno really, after like I said I learnt the hard way I'm very picky with what I say now (not that I have anything bad to say but you know what I mean). I guess its a way of saying 'don't go OTT/mental at me' when people say stuff like that hah.

 

[chaffsters33]

Oh, man that sucks, but I know how you feel. Personally, I like giving presents! I'm only fourteen so I get presents for all of my friends, and by all, I mean that I feel terrible if anyone gets left out. So it was kind of a slap to the face when one of my best friends started whining today saying,"Do I haaaaaavvve to get you guys presents???" i was like What?? Wouldn't you want to?

but then I was like, oh, yeah people are selfish and they suck. :]

 

[lafemmenoir]

Aside from the I spent X on you, and you spent X buying this and now have ZERO, many times these threads are not enough to give a discerning response. In other words, what other variables are there? The part about him wanting you to buy his family all inclusive gifts for his benefit makes me think Christmas is not an isolated event. How long have you been seeing him? If this is how he is, you can't expect him to be a "giving" person. If you have been together a few weeks, you may want to re think a long term relationship with him, not because he didn't spend money on you for Christmas, but the idea he wants to use YOUR money on HIS family is a red flag. Good luck with whatever your decision.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Its kind of...weird to me how everyone is saying this girl is selfish. i dont think shes selfish at all. I really dont think she bought him a lot of gifts because she thought she'd get them in return. Personally, I cant stop buying things for people, Ive went well over my limit for the limits I did have (you know, for secret santas and whatnot),and not once did I ever think "Hmm, maybe I should keep buying and spoil the person, cuz then they'll do the same for me" It sounds like she bought so much because she wanted him to be happy and because she cares for him

I would be pissed too, if my boyfriend was spending hundreds of dollars on himself RIGHT before the holidays, making it impossible to get anyone else a gift. THATS selfish. Like others have said, Christmas is about giving to other people and spending time with the ones u love.

That being said, did he ever say he wasnt getting u a present? Maybe he is trying to surprise you (Ill come up with ANYthing to try and trick people and keep things secret) but I think he could still get u something to show he cares for you. Some flowers, or something small and personal, that he knows youd like.

I dont think its right to EXPECT a gift. But at the same time, a lot of you are on here saying how you never expect a gift from your partner....that might be because you and ur bf/husband have already established whats gonna happen for the holidays. Their relationship sounds new and they probably havent done that yet.

I say, see how things go through Christmas. Im not saying "wait and see if he got u a gift" but he does kinda sound like a jerk. Id give him what u bought him and take it as a lesson learned, if he does turn out to just be selfish.

My bf and I have been talking of the whole gift thing, and I already got him the Total Gym Pull Up bar (hes so silly lol) but he wants this watch from the mall and I wasnt planning on spending the $100 for the watch but Im going to. Then today he tells me he wants to spend only $50, he wants that to be our limit...I cant wait to surprise him with the watch! I could care less what he gets me, he could give me a kiss and just say merry christmas. I just love giving him things that he really wants. hes never had christmases like that, so I love to be the one to spoil him sometimes.

*Tear* LOL. Im done!

 

[lafemmenoir]

I don't recall saying or accusing anyone of being selfish. I AM someone and again, people will take a post and interpret it how they will. You indicate it's not selfish if she expects something, but you will be content if you receive nothing; however, you and your SO have ESTABLISHED you are going to exchange gifts. In addition, to say Christmas is crappy because she anticipate nothing for Christmas speaks volumes. I will throw myself out there and say I am not getting a thing for Christmas unless I buy it myself, but I am still going to be happy because I have my health, a job and a dog. I don't have what a lot of the posters here have, but I don't count my Christmas as crap.