People can be so ignorant about interracial dating...

[iio]

OMG i am so fed up with this dumb forum that I am on. I dont even know why I argue with these people. Its an asian forum and they talk about their culture and so on. And this one guy posts about how his ex gf, his two aunts, his mother, and cousin are going out with these white guys and he said that they are "race traitors". and this was the end of his post "i think they all went for whites exclusively. this is sickening to selectively date/marry based purely on race, and i cant get to the bottom of it, it baffles me really....."

this guy posted "your parents and all their efforts in moving to a foreign land and raising their children here has been for nothing. what's the point of moving to a foreign land, working their asses off to make a living, just to benefit the white man? I bet the white men your family members date are all losers and leach off you financially."

I posted saying that they have something against asian women dating other races...and told them about the asian men I dated didn't treat me right and I started dating other races and just so happen I have a great relationship with my bf who is white....it had nothing to do with me being against my own kind i just didnt have good experiences with the asian men I dated and they just go on bashing about me...and this one guy really pissed me off by saying

"Wow, talk about being a presumptious bat out of Hell. You're gonna make a blanket statement and a convoluted theory about 400+ million East Asian men, just cause you've dated 3 of them?

And Asian girls claim they're not stupid/racist/self-hating/white worshipping...

And let me guess, you're gonna go off an find a nice white guy who treats you like his little China fvck doll and have a great life that would make Amy-fvcking Tan pround right?"

Im so mad I just need to leave this forum...argh
​

I just wanted to post the site to the forums on their topics...just tell me that my culture has a racial issue because I think they do but they just dont see it at all.

I know that maybe some of you girls or guys maybe against interracial marriages but some of the things people say on this forum kind of makes me want to smack them in the head.
http://www.asiafinest.com/forum/inde...howtopic=99094

Its understandable that I cant change their views or morals but i dont know things like this makes me mad because my family is interracial.

SRY this post is so long but I just had to rant so badly.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Firstly, you should not allow those idiots to upset you so much and do not continue posting in that forum. They're stupid, insecure jerks and I'm a big believer in surrounding yourself with positive, respectful people. You don't always have to see eye to eye, but you do deserve respect.

Secondly, I've discovered (because I know some Asian guys who are quite bitter about any interracial dating) that most of these guys are just pissed off they can't get a date with an Asian girl and need to blame something else. It's also that Asian guys aren't, at least in my experience, catching the eyes of girls of other races because of their height. I think the guys believe that they already have a small pool of women to pull from and then it becomes smaller because the women aren't dating Asian guys; it isn't fair of them to think that, but that's where I think it stems from. They make these blanket statements, which are admittedly sometimes true, but for most cases, a lot of women/men date whomever they love, regardless of skin tone. In short, they're just bitter they aren't getting any.

Thirdly, I wouldn't give up on Asian guys if I were you. Even though they were totally wrong in how they approached this (and it stems from their bitterness and own issues), I think they have somewhat of a point about not closing yourself off from dating Asian guys. Some of them are real assholes, but that's like every single kind of person out there. I know some incredibly sweet ones. I've had bad dating experiences with men, women, black, white, Asian...

 

[aziajs]

Hmmm...I understand part of what he was saying but I do think he took it a little too far. Some of his comments were unneccesary.

 

[prinzessin784]

In my opinion people should date other people they feel they are compatible with. Race should have nothing to do with it. One's race doesn't determine how they will behave in a relationship or how they treat women/men, their views on family, religion, anything that is really important when it comes to finding a mate! Most of that is determined by their upbringing, which yes, can be due to their race or heritage, but I find it very limiting to assume that a person is one way because of their race.

that said - the Internet is full of idiots so take what they say with a grain of salt and enjoy your time with your great boyfriend!

 

[astronaut]

Well, here's my opinion on the issue. I'm an Asian female, and I'm not against asians dating whites, but there are Asian girls out there who will specifically seek out white dudes and are only attracted to them. And White dudes specifically seeking Asian chicks. And I think it's alright to specifically date within your own race because it's just more comfortable to date someone with similar culture. I think it's okay if you just ran into them and are attracted, but if you're going specifically seek for a certain race other than your own, than to me that seems like a fetish and that's creepy! I can't help but think that guys who seek out Asian females have a fetish thinking that they're submissive or will "love them long time" or something... ewww!

 

[SingFrAbsoltion]

Don't let that idiot bother you. He's probably an ugly loser who's bitter that he can't get a girl of any race! haha

People who are against interracial relationships annoy me to no end, including my own parents(who are openly racist)

I'm white, my boyfriend is asian, but he is very americanized since he was born herelol I personally never think about the fact that we're considered "interracial"..the word sounds weird to me. To me it's like - you like someone, go for it! I don't get people who move to America, where you can meet people from so many different backgrounds, yet chose to only stick with their own kind.

my own parents keep telling me to go own with "my own kind" and even try to set me up with weird guys! ugh they piss me off so much

And the bitter guy at that other forum needs to stfu and stop blaming the fact that no one wants him on other people haha

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by astronaut Well, here's my opinion on the issue. I'm an Asian female, and I'm not against asians dating whites, but there are Asian girls out there who will specifically seek out white dudes and are only attracted to them. And White dudes specifically seeking Asian chicks. And I think it's alright to specifically date within your own race because it's just more comfortable to date someone with similar culture. I think it's okay if you just ran into them and are attracted, but if you're going specifically seek for a certain race other than your own, than to me that seems like a fetish and that's creepy! I can't help but think that guys who seek out Asian females have a fetish thinking that they're submissive or will "love them long time" or something... ewww!

There are fetishes for Asian women... It's as creepy and disgusting as it sounds. Some of it is wanting the submissive female, some of it is to leach onto the culture. The latter part I've definitely experienced before; a guy only wanted to talk about Asian culture stuff/his Asian friends with me, even though I bluntly told him I'm adopted and don't regard myself as Asian in culture. He sure grew bored of me fast he realized that I wasn't really Asian

I also knew a girl who dated Asian guys to gain Asian cred. She thought it gave her the right to rock the Mandarin collared shirts and other Asian clothes and slip in Japanese every second, though her boyfriend was Korean and her understanding of Japanese came from anime.

It's not all interracial relationships, of course (I don't think it's even the majority), and certainly not all people, but it's definitely happened and happens.

 

[macslut]

You are right, you should not even argue with them. Don't waste energy that can be better spent elsewhere. There are stupid people everywhere. You can't change them. If this individual wanted dialog that would be different. Instead, this person came off as an ass.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by astronaut Well, here's my opinion on the issue. I'm an Asian female, and I'm not against asians dating whites, but there are Asian girls out there who will specifically seek out white dudes and are only attracted to them. And White dudes specifically seeking Asian chicks. And I think it's alright to specifically date within your own race because it's just more comfortable to date someone with similar culture. I think it's okay if you just ran into them and are attracted, but if you're going specifically seek for a certain race other than your own, than to me that seems like a fetish and that's creepy! I can't help but think that guys who seek out Asian females have a fetish thinking that they're submissive or will "love them long time" or something... ewww!

Do you have a favorite flavor of ice cream? Or a favorite color? Or a favorite whatever?

Perhaps those people who specifically seek out a person of a different race then theirs are doing it because they find that race more attractive than others? Or maybe they love the culture, and want to be apart of it. So for them, dating someone of that race is more comfortable than dating their own race or others.

I don't think it's fiar to say, "It's ok to exclusivly date your own race, but NOT ok to exclusivly date another race." People date who they want to date. And just because it's not for the same reasons you date other people, doesn't make it any more wrong or right. If your turned on by one race in particular, and not the others, why would you bother trying to make the other races fit?

Dating is not an equal opportunity institution. It favors the wealthy/educated/attractive/popular people. And everyone has their own specifics of what they find attractive in the opposite sex. And if he's a square peg trying to get with a round hole, it's just not going to fit ;p

 

[triccc]

I agree with you raerae!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I also knew a girl who dated Asian guys to gain Asian cred. She thought it gave her the right to rock the Mandarin collared shirts and other Asian clothes and slip in Japanese every second, though her boyfriend was Korean and her understanding of Japanese came from anime.

what's wrong with her wearing asian clothes? does she have to be asian for it to be ok?


what if i wanted to wear a guayabera? would that not be ok cause I am not a spanish male?
or what if i wanted to wear a cheese hat? is that not ok because I am not from wisconsin?

 

[Beauty Mark]

It was wrong because she thought the whole thing made her become Asian. When it becomes trying to be something you're not is when I have a problem, which is where it stems from with her. She thought wearing the clothes made her Asian (and made a big show of it), slipping in the Japanese into conversation (which, no matter what language, I find pretentious). One of my friends who isn't remotely Asian admires Indian culture to the point she thinks of Indian as where her heart truly is (she's been there and lived there for extended periods) and goes about it in a respectful way. It isn't a little game like with this girl or about keeping up an image.

Then again, this girl was nuts. She went around pretending to be Sailor Moon at one point. We were in 9th or 10th grade. In math class.

 

[little teaser]

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[little teaser]

let me guess, this jerk off is a asian dude thats piss off and bitter because he cant get a date, he never made it to the u.s to live the american dream and never was able to have a white girl give him a second look, he spends his lonely nights jerking off to the sounds of his neighbors getting it on.. haha

 

[triccc]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark It was wrong because she thought the whole thing made her become Asian. When it becomes trying to be something you're not is when I have a problem, which is where it stems from with her. She thought wearing the clothes made her Asian (and made a big show of it), slipping in the Japanese into conversation (which, no matter what language, I find pretentious). One of my friends who isn't remotely Asian admires Indian culture to the point she thinks of Indian as where her heart truly is (she's been there and lived there for extended periods) and goes about it in a respectful way. It isn't a little game like with this girl or about keeping up an image. Then again, this girl was nuts. She went around pretending to be Sailor Moon at one point. We were in 9th or 10th grade. In math class.

I still don't think it's wrong that she wears that stuff. Yea maybe it's a little odd that she might pretend like she's asian. but it's still ok that she likes to wear it.

 

[Dark_Phoenix]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark It was wrong because she thought the whole thing made her become Asian. .

You're Asian, Arab, Black, White, Indian, Mixed Heritage, *insert whatever I forgot here* by birth, upbringing, or citizenship. End of story.

Example: I can respect Iranians as much as I like, I've vacationed in Shiraz and Tehran, and my sister-in-law is Iranian, and when I'm in Iran I make it a point to blend in as to not be viewed as Eurotrash... but I'm not Iranian no matter what. I'm Arab/European (Bahraini/Italian) by birth, upbringing and citizenship.

I wish people could just appreciate who they are and their own culture.

Like, yeah, that dude hates Asian girls dating non Asian dudes... well, why doesn't he stop focussing on the white dudes and start comparing himself to Asian guys who have girlfriends and figure out what he's doing wrong? Oh wait, that's the logical thing to do. What a jerk.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

You're Asian, Arab, Black, White, Indian, Mixed Heritage, *insert whatever I forgot here* by birth, upbringing, or citizenship. End of story. Example: I can respect Iranians as much as I like, I've vacationed in Shiraz and Tehran, and my sister-in-law is Iranian, and when I'm in Iran I make it a point to blend in as to not be viewed as Eurotrash... but I'm not Iranian no matter what. I'm Arab/European (Bahraini/Italian) by birth, upbringing and citizenship. I wish people could just appreciate who they are and their own culture.

Exactly. Most people don't realize how interesting their own culture is. Even if you're of European heritage, the Europeans have a very interesting history to read about. It's great to have interest in other people's cultures, but I don't understand the whole taking it on as your own and trying to be something you're not.

Quote:

I still don't think it's wrong that she wears that stuff. Yea maybe it's a little odd that she might pretend like she's asian. but it's still ok that she likes to wear it.

For me, if you're wearing stuff that isn't your culture, you should have vague ideas about it, which she lacked. It's like when people wear crosses and don't realize the Christian meaning; the clothes aren't religious but I think it's smart to make to know something when you dabble in other cultures. I don't know how else to explain it, but I suppose we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[SingFrAbsoltion]

I understand where Beauty_Mark is coming from, it's one thing to like and respect another culture, and another to obsess about it and pretend to be something you're not.

 

[GreekChick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark It was wrong because she thought the whole thing made her become Asian. When it becomes trying to be something you're not is when I have a problem, which is where it stems from with her. She thought wearing the clothes made her Asian (and made a big show of it), slipping in the Japanese into conversation (which, no matter what language, I find pretentious). One of my friends who isn't remotely Asian admires Indian culture to the point she thinks of Indian as where her heart truly is (she's been there and lived there for extended periods) and goes about it in a respectful way. It isn't a little game like with this girl or about keeping up an image. Then again, this girl was nuts. She went around pretending to be Sailor Moon at one point. We were in 9th or 10th grade. In math class.

I agree. I too have a friend who's heart belongs to Indian culture. It's really how people present themselves that distinguishes the pretentious from the unpretentious.
Btw, Sailor Pluto was the hottest

 

[glamdoll]

OMG freaking tell me about it! Im mexican, but Im married to my husband who is half white n half samoan. I work in a fast food place, and I wear this bracelet thats made out of turtle shell that polynesians wear.

Well whenever a polynesian girl walks in there and sees my bracelet, they mad dog me! big time! then they will come to me and tell me "nice bracelet, where did u get it?" ugh, how bout u should know duh! BUt as soon as I tell them "my husband is samoan n blah blah blah" then they start acting nice to me!

Yeah I dont know why they are so overprotective. Ive seen white girls, black girls, asians dating mexicans, and wearing some mexican related things, but I dont go on investigating their lifes like these girls do to me! man!! sorry just had to rant!

 

[Raerae]

So she likes the culture, and has her own interpretation of it. Why is that so bad? I'm also going to go out in a limb here and say, you'd probably be perfectly OK with her is she was Asian and acted like that right? It's OK for someone to act that way because somehow being "born" to it makes them more entitled to it than someone else who really likes it? You'd think you'd be flattered that they care enough to like something to that degree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark It was wrong because she thought the whole thing made her become Asian. When it becomes trying to be something you're not is when I have a problem, which is where it stems from with her. She thought wearing the clothes made her Asian (and made a big show of it), slipping in the Japanese into conversation (which, no matter what language, I find pretentious). One of my friends who isn't remotely Asian admires Indian culture to the point she thinks of Indian as where her heart truly is (she's been there and lived there for extended periods) and goes about it in a respectful way. It isn't a little game like with this girl or about keeping up an image. Then again, this girl was nuts. She went around pretending to be Sailor Moon at one point. We were in 9th or 10th grade. In math class.