i HOPE you read this... because there are already so many posts... i doubt u will... but here goes anyways!!
i've been in the same situation as you with the same guy iim with now. weve been together for over 3 years. were a bit younger... but were all human and who really acts differently in long term relationships anyways?
theres been times when hes invited girls over that he knows, and not me. theres been times where hes called other girls and told me he was talking to his brother. theres been times when hes hung out with my best friend and told me he wasnt. and from THIS alone... he sounds like the worst boyfriend in the world!!! i even agree!! lol.
I've looked through his myspace and call logs before, and hes done the same. [not that he has reason too... lol.] and to be honest... hate me if u will girls... you wouldnt be looking through his shit if u didnt feel u had reason to right?!? so DO NOT feel bad for going through his myspace!! i personally would confront him on the matter peacefully... and flat out tell him that u saw his myspace messages. [although think HARD about this... because he could be the guy to change his password blah blah blah.]
hes never cheated on me before, even though ive heard rumors and what not... but i believe that i hear these rumors because the girls in our lives are immature and can probably figure out that i get a little insecure when i hear these things... and before i came around... he was the catch that every girl wanted [dont really know why lol. hes a cutie but what else?]
what im saying is that you should go with your gut. ur heart is telling u what to do. and if u have doubts about what u should do or dont know... u should think real hard. i think you say u dont know what to do because u know deep down, [you even said ur old fashioned and more conservative then he is...] that this behavior is unacceptable for ur fiance to be doing, and you shouldnt have to put up with it. but u do love him, and u want things to work. so hold out a little longer, ur not losing anything but time... and you're still young u have all the time in the world!!! wait it out after u have a conversation... a heart to heart convo... try not to fight at all costs once voices start to raise or any negative tension is present, hell close up and wont listen. so talk nicely and just tell him that it hurts. and u dont want to be stuck hurting when you're in a relationship with the person that you love and want to share the rest of your life with. if he actually listens... then he should realize "wow im hurting the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with... and i if i really want to spend the rest of my life with her, shes not going to put up wth it and she might leave."
being his fiance... he deserves to know that you are bothered by his behavior... and if worse comes to worse and he wont change, or he lies about chaning and u find out... threaten to leave. i know it sounds drastic... im just talking from my personal experience. but being a women who seems beautiful on the inside [and im sure on the outside as well!
] shouldnt HAVE to check his myspace. and im almost certain that you already know this. stay true to your morals, yourself, and your heart. i know you're engaged, and that your supposed to be together, but thankfully you got into thise before you actually got married and started a family together. everything happens for a reason, and maybe destiny is trying to tell you that its time to intervene. and even if shes not trying to get in the midst of things... maybe shes giving u 2 a test to see if ull make it through, and if u do... u'll have overcomed something together, and be that much stronger and closer!!
i wish you much love and luck, and to tell you that i know EXACTLY how you feel. i only have one girlfriend that i could talk about things like this with... and she as well as the biggest mouth in the world.
<33 hope it helped. let us know how things turn out if its not too personal!!
