Shop-a-holism - It's ruining my life!

[Edie]

I think I have serious issues...

Shopping Issues.


I am here to admit that I am a Shop-A-Holic.

May sound funny. But I am starting to believe that it is a REAL addiction that rivals that of alcohol and drugs! The common-denominator would be the having no money because its all spent on the addiction!

Its causing problems with the boyfriend too!

I had a revelation the other week...

I was going through all my make-up and thought long and hard about how I barely ever use any of it.

Please dont think I am bragging but I have fairly good skin in the sense that pimples are usually far-and-few-between for me (watch karma bite me in the ass with a massive pimple that surfaces this weekend!!) and its all down to genes I think. DONT think life has been one skin-holiday for me! I had eczema as a kid and had red-rash-like symptoms on arms (in the creases) and on my eyes to the point that I would get cuts that would bleed under my eyes. I also had it on thee back of my neck in school and it was a sure-nightmare! After calling my doctor a liar several times, his advice did ring true and it did 'get better as I grew up'.

SOOOoo that is quite off topic but bascially, I try to wear makeup (foundations mainly) as little as possible as I find this will flare up my skin...I had the WORST reaction to L'Oreal foundation one time and have been paranoid ever since.

SO..I don't wear make-up to work. OR on the weekends unless im going out somewhere.

I have spent SOOOOOO much on makeup its just ridiculous..and I justified it with saying that I would get into make-up artistry...yeah no...I did my course and that was the end of that.

EVERY week guaranteed...I feel the need to buy something...whether its MAC, something for the apartment (which is where the boy problems come in "Do we REALLY need a new candle holder, we don't use the ones we have NOW"!) Something anything to feed this incessant need for something new...its left me with a $2,000 debt and a depression that is only lifted with the purchase of a new item...

for Jebus sake!! I went and bought a LABELLER!!!! A LABELLER!!!!!! I label my files and things like Flour etc!!!! ...........

I just thought I was an out of control spoilt brat until I noticed my brother had the same pattern as me...(i would never actually let him know this because he would look at me like a freak).

Im just using y'all as my free therapists here and venting my feelings but I would love to hear if anyone else has the same problem or feels the same way?? Does anyone else buy MAC like its going out of fashion and then realise they don't use it most the time?

I don't know how to stop. Telling myself to do it CLEARLY doesn't work. Cutting up my CC..not an option...have to pay bills via it. Putting money away...I wish...my entire pay goes to bills, rent, car and CC payments!! I have about $50 left and that goes to feeding us!!!

a FREAKIN LABELLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for listening

 

[purrtykitty]

Oh, yes...you're not alone. Over these past couple of months I went through my "stash" and put stuff up for sale. You might consider doing the same - not only is it very theraputic in the sense that you are ridding yourself of clutter and attempting to simplify your life. The best part...you'll also get money for stuff you'll never use, that you can put toward your credit card debt. Then you just need to work on your spending habit. DO NOT cut your entire budget out. Give yourself a little bit to spend each month. That way you won't feel like you're depriving yourself and you'll be less likely to go on a wild spending spree. Good luck...it's tough to quit, but you can. Even my husband will attest to the fact that I'm muuuuch better than I was last year.

 

[Edie]

Thanks PuurtyKitty...in some sick sort of satisfaction, it makes me feel better that Im not the only one like this.

May I ask where you would recommend selling. Im in Australia, I know Ebay is NEW make up only?/? As you can see total NEWBIE here. haha

I think I need to sit down and work some sort of plan out that I would hopefully stick to...??? Sticking to it IS my problem when I see a cute bag, or a nice pink nailpolish that is not as sheer or glittery as my other 8 pink nailpolishes, or the ring that if I dont get now will probably be gone next week!!! UUUUGGGGHHH!!! It frustrates me.

 

[purrtykitty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edie Thanks PuurtyKitty...in some sick sort of satisfaction, it makes me feel better that Im not the only one like this. May I ask where you would recommend selling. Im in Australia, I know Ebay is NEW make up only?/? As you can see total NEWBIE here. haha I think I need to sit down and work some sort of plan out that I would hopefully stick to...??? Sticking to it IS my problem when I see a cute bag, or a nice pink nailpolish that is not as sheer or glittery as my other 8 pink nailpolishes, or the ring that if I dont get now will probably be gone next week!!! UUUUGGGGHHH!!! It frustrates me.

I totally understand...it's really hard at first, but after a while, the "urge" to buy fades. Like I said, you can still indulge every once in a while, but when you do, those items are much more special and unique, I find. Because you're really thinking "I only have a bit to spend, so I want something great." And if there's something really expensive you want, you just have to save up your budget. It's tough, but once you see your bank account going up, up, up...you'll be so much happier.

With selling, for your cosmetics and beauty items, each user here can have their own sale thread: Specktra.Net - FAQ: Swaps/Sales. There's also Makeup Alley.

For clothes, accessories, and household, etc...items there's always e-Bay (but I think you can sell clothes and accessories here, too).

 

[laguayaca]

i totally understand too...i love buying clothes, makeup, and most recently since we got a house house stuff. I am a Banana Republic and Abercrombie and Fitch fiend when it comes to clothes, makeup wise of coarse MAC or I shop at sephora and house stuff thank God for TJ MAXX and Marshalls, they have the cutest house things that are name brand. I have stopped alot recently as I found myself getting depressed over how much I was spending my fiance took away many of my cards which I am glad I dont have the temptation.

I use to buy at least three things from every launch if not all that MAC had but I have learned to study it al before I shop checking swatches in as many sites as possible, and reviews also double checking that if I can dupe it on my own either by mixing some pigments or shadows around. I have also keeped in constant look out for High end makeup at TJMaxx or Marshalls they tend to have Too Faced, Gap Lotions, recently they had Kimoras line and Scott Barnes and currently have Estee lauder shadow duos for 7.99 WOW!

Clothes wise I just stay away from the mall in general. Since we got our house I have a new perspective and am really trying to focus on our finances because its no longer just my finances but soon to be ours.

Like purrtykitty said try to budget yourself still treat ourself but set limits and stay away from temptations best of luck! Just know you are not alone!

 

[User93]

hey,

i was quite the same some time ago.. and who am i kidding, i haven't changed THAT much, still, i like keeping my traincase filled with things i DO USE actually. I was buying random stuff before a lot, but then i started working a little here and there and getting temporary jobs, so i kinda felt how is it to earn money. Another great idea is to try saving up for something big, that gonna keep you away from buying random stuff. You will always think you could add that 30$ to the savings instead of getting a new lipglass. That helps me a lot right now, i try to get myself only what i truly need.
But damn, there is a thing i truly hate - like right now i have about 5 glosses of the same color, i bought them before i fell so in love with MAC. And damn, if only that were drugstore brands i would throw them away, but its from estee lauder and ysl etc... And damn, i want that lipglosses from naughty nauticals so much, but thats exactly the same color. My mind keeps me away from buying them, though my heart wants them so bad :/
My MU hardly ever ends, i wish lol, but that lipglosses are neverending, i wait so much for them to finish so i can buy MAC. but naw its still more than half in them.
Also, i have that sephora brushes i bought some time ago.. ib want more mac.. but those are good.. idk what to do with them. I cheer myself with the thought i gonna use my SE Mac brushes opnly for myself, and with those i gonna go to make-up classes (never visited one). all that set costed me 40$ (i have about 7 brushes, and yes they are good).. thats 1 mac brush.. but daaamn i want mac.

 

[vandael]

i totally feel ya on the shopping therapy... i became an addict at the age of 14, when i got my first job. when i first took notice i was making a lot more than my peers, i realized i could buy whatever i wanted at a remarkable ease. every single time i got a paycheck, i spent it - nearly the entire thing without saving a penny. this paved the way to a deeper addiction. when i'm bored, i shop. when i'm depressed, i shop. when i'm happy, i shop even more. even when i was away at college and couldn't get to the mall, i had internet shopping. i am the most impulsive shopper. after awhile, it ALL adds up. $20 here and there didn't seem like much at the time, but it accumulates FAST. one day i got my credit card bill and my jaw dropped... i made a charge almost every other day. itemized in front of my face there was makeup, clothes, shoes, food, coffee, all things i didn't necessarily NEED. and i was already a poor college student to begin with. immediately i had to put a plan into action to curb my bad habit. i removed all the credit cards from my wallet. leaving them at home meant i couldn't spend money i didn't have. i started entering every purchase into my quicken software. i limited myself to a $30 shopping budget per month. after awhile, the money i was saving contributed to lowering my credit card balance. it is definitely a struggle to overcome, much like any addiction. it takes awhile to distinguish between wants and needs... ultimately realizing what really makes me happy: family, friends, health, and career. everything else comes second. not to say you can't treat yourself every now and then. but now i take to the time to evaluate my purchases. i try to set goals for myself, saving for larger, more practical purchases (car, house, etc.) rather than small, frivolous impulses (buying from every MAC collection release, starbucks coffee, etc). i'm still struggling to avoid relapse. i hope you are able to break your habit one day too. it's a slow process, but rewarding in the end. best of luck

 

[Edie]

I just want to say a really deep and heartfelt thank you to everyone.

Im in the worst rut because of this, but reading your posts has (believe it or not) actually made me feel better...it doesn't take away the feeling of depression so to speak nor does it lower my credit card debt (oh I wish) but it is a weird comforting feeling that im not alone or some weirdo with a satisfaction for shopping!!! I have printed out your responses and have put the little tips into my personal diary to remind me

(i will post a pic soon haha...just cause its Speckta

)

Thank you

 

[boudoirblonde]

omg if your selling your MAC, holla at me, Im an Aussie too!

Also, you could try to get back into make-up artistry? Get a part-time job at a counter, or start doing weddings and stuff!

 

[User93]

You're not alone! I just wanted to add that thats really a great idea to leave cards at home, but ok, i personlly like to always keep some extra money with me in case of emergency (paying a taxi, etc). So, what i do when i feel im ready to buy everything i see at the mac counter or in a shop is take a deep breath in and promise myself to come to get it tomorrow. When i'away from the shop, i realise better what i need and what i dont. Also, sometimes i feel lazy to go to that shop again

Try it, maybe it will work for you! Just dont buy in a rush, when ytou see no reality except mac counter, lol! Being like this i missed some gorgeous mac stuff which was sold out (sugar trance from fafi :/ ) but it helped me to save up. I looove mac but as here it's really way more expensive, i normally buy 1-2 things from a collection. And also, daaamn i love that make-up artist at the mac counter, she's so sweet... I bought a blush there, and then came back the other day, got myself a beauty powder from fafi and intended to get a blush, idk, just to get it and period. And she told me like "nah, you dont really need it, its a too intense color for you, plus you can use this beauty powder the same way". That was a really great advice.

 

[user79]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edie I Please dont think I am bragging but I have fairly good skin in the sense that pimples are usually far-and-few-between for me (watch karma bite me in the ass with a massive pimple that surfaces this weekend!!) and its all down to genes I think. DONT think life has been one skin-holiday for me! I had eczema as a kid and had red-rash-like symptoms on arms (in the creases) and on my eyes to the point that I would get cuts that would bleed under my eyes. I also had it on thee back of my neck in school and it was a sure-nightmare! After calling my doctor a liar several times, his advice did ring true and it did 'get better as I grew up'.

Off topic, but it was the same with me. I had majorly bad eczema on my arms, on the backs of my knees, on my neck, eyes, wrists, back. I would scratch myself bloody as a kid and I looked diseased. Now my skin totally normalized and I have fairly good skin now. I guess nature is making up for it now!

 

[Edie]

Ok! It was my first weekend in I-don't -even-remember-how-long.....when i didn't go shopping!!

Usually we go on a aturday morning and do our grocery shopping for the week, but this time I made us go on the Friday night instead (so no other shops were open!!) It worked GREAT! (longevity appeal I dont know but its a start)

On saturday I needed to wash my car, usually I go get it washed for AU$25. But since I was banning myself to go shopping I stayed and washed it myself.
Mind you it wasn't all roses...halfway through, when i was elbows deep in suds and my back felt like it was on fire I was ready to give up, but still.

I too am a complete impulse buyer and when I want something...I want it now....not proud of that, in fact I sound like a little bratty kid. But that is how I really feel about things. It sukx.

I will definitely be trying out all your tips and tricks. I think i will also put some of my things for sale in the sale thread (might make that my project for this weekend, keep me from getting bored and wanting to go to the shops! YAY).

Thanks everyone for sharing. Your support and kind words helps me. I will post back when I learn some tricks or anything that could possibly help out others...

Thanks again everyone

oh oh oh P.S: This may sound really lame, and really tight but I have confessed my worst habit here so might as well add: On sunday mornings we have pancakes. I usually trudge up to the local store to grab the paper and pancake pack. This Sunday instead, I made my own. I remembered the ingredients (forgot salt though) and since we already had the basic ingredients it was too easy! And they turned out way better than the shake ones I buy. Hey $4 is $4 right?! haha Plus I got to sleep in for an extra 1/2 hour which to me is PRICELESS!

EDIT: I bit the bullet. I have put some of my stuff up on Specktra for sale. Thank you all for the advise, I honestly didn't even consider it until now. Cheers

 

[M.A.C. head.]

I suffer from the same disease, and it really is just that, A DISEASE.

Shopping is an addiction, just as is anything else that you can't stop doing.

I would go into detail about how bad I am about it because it's really embarassing, just know that you're not on your own.

 

[Edie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. I suffer from the same disease, and it really is just that, A DISEASE. Shopping is an addiction, just as is anything else that you can't stop doing. I would go into detail about how bad I am about it because it's really embarassing, just know that you're not on your own.

Thanks for the support

By the way I love your signature...haha...it really made me laugh.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Shopping addiction can be a real problem, like anything else. I notice that when I'm depressed, I can do stupid stuff with money.

Save Karyn - Home has some good ideas. I don't recommend asking people online for money, because I think it's too trite now. However, she has some decent ideas about other ways she saved herself.

Because food is so damn expensive in the US, that's a way to save money. YOu can use the money that you saved to pay off your debt. There's a lot of sites dedicated towards that- my new favorite is called Hillbilly Housewife.

 

[iluffyew769769]

I too have been a shopping addict. I got into a LOT of debt. (I'm now debt and credit card free

) But I know what you are going through. It took me 3 years to pay everything off. I now allow myself to go into the MAC store only when I know I have a few extra dollars for an E/S or something. My boyfriend helped me out a lot. He takes my debit cards away when we go anywhere.

The best advise I can give you is get someone to help support you. (I know sounds like rehab, but that's pretty much what it is.) Once you beat the urges you will feel so much better!

 

[Girl about town]

I am a shopping addict of the highest order, its actually too embarrassing to go into details, if i haven't bought anything for a few days/weeks i feel the urge to buy things regardless of whether i need them, im not in a massive amount of debt, but it is enough to worry me!! Last time i counted dresses in my closet i had 40 how ridiculous is that(i can't throw things out) x

 

[glam8babe]

im pretty much addicted too... ive always loved shopping but it seems to get worse the older i get.
If i dont buy MAC for about a month i HAVE to spend at least over £100 from the mac website even if it's something i might not wear often.
I have sooo many clothes its crazy, i had to buy a brand new huge wardrobe to fit 'most' of my stuff in.. its totally full, stuffed and stil not big enough, i have 2 chests of drawers full of clothes and 2 HUGE drawers under my other bed in my other room. I also have piles n piles of clothes on top of that bed but i can't help wanting to be in fashion and buying new things.
Ive got about 30-40 pairs of shoes and i only wear about 6 of them.
Ive got about 50 handbags and i use the same 3-4 all the time depending what colour my outfit is.
I have soo much jewelry it's like a Mikey store. I buy jewelry alot even if i wear it once, as long as its pretty i HAVE to have it.
I do feel bad at times because its mostly my boyfriend who has to buy me everything, when i do get money it's gone within a minute then im skint for a really long time.
I think its just a girl thing
but your deffo not alone

 

[KikiB]

I am definitely a shopaholic of the highest degree-partially because I don't pay any bills and partially because I never really had money when I was in school, so now that I graduated high school and so forth I am able to buy things I want. I am trying to get a lot better. The first advantage that I have is that I am not allowed to have credit cards-just a debit-since I still live at home. I definitely think it is a good thing for me, because it would be too tempting to go out and shop. The second one is that I can realize that if I keep going in this path, it will be a bad way to go, so I can fix my ways faster. The final one is that I want to move out onto my own, and I look at my paychecks and I realize that I don't make enough to cover a month's rent at an AVERAGE apartment in the area. Not to mention having my bank statements come fills me with dread. I am lucky though that my mum pays for my bus pass, but even if I had to pay for it myself, it's $81 a month and I can pretty much go anywhere in the Puget Sound area. $81 is what it can cost to fill the tank on some cars.

What I am trying to do is the following:
-Cut down on my makeup purchases. I'm limiting myself to MAC, or if there is nothing from MAC that I like, the GWP for a different brand (as long as the makeup is stuff I would use). It is difficult though because I do want to become a makeup artist someday, and so I find it easier to justify buying a new traincase (on sale, for $20) or brush set ($33 at the CCO) because it's for my future.
-Not buying clothes except for work clothes (because sometimes I just don't have time to do laundry every week) and non-work skirts and shorts and pants...when I look in my closet there are several shirts, still tagged. Yeah, ouch.
-Try and cut down on my Starbucks habit. It is one of the things I see as being a necessary daily thing, but I could also grab a bite to eat from home instead of buying a bagel there, or grabbing a soda instead of a frap if it's in the afternoon.

What my friend is doing is saving money-a good chunk from every paycheck-and then using it on a shopping excursion when the Forever XXI opens at our mall. I plan on trying to cut down on my payday spending-the spending just because I now have money in my account. I don't need to go into VS every payday.

Heck, I probably have enough crap that I never use (just things) and such that I could have my own garage sale. Then use the money from that to put towards whatever I want my future ambitions to be.

 

[Edie]

I am in absolute shock that I am not alone in the way I am. (ok that sounds a little silly but its the truth). I truly thought my habit was weird and stupid and completely pathetic to be upset about when so many people here on Specktra (and around the world) have actual problems to contend with.

Its actually inspired me to perhaps start up a blog that will be focussed on PRACTICAL Ways to Save Money and keep you from spending (yeah not a catchy title, haven't thought that much about it. haha. The Save Karyn website wasn't working for me??? Im guessing it would be similar??

I have done a search and most of the things said are like 1. 'Pay off your credit card', or 2. 'walk to work', or 3.'make your lunch instead of buying it.

1. What? really? So paying off my credit card will like help me save money?? Who would have ever of guessed that?? [hint:yes this is sarcasm hehe]

2. Hmmm....Ok I will get up at 4am leave home at 4:15am so as to get to work at 9! And yes I am a lazy slob who prefers to drive to work than take two buses and a train + 10 minute walk.

3. This is a GREAT idea. But honestly. You still have to buy your groceries!!! And last receipt from our 3 shopping bag grocery haul came to AU$82!!! (US$78). Veggies and meat are not cheap!!

A place where I will collect any handy tips and tricks me thinks? it will also be some kind of moral support too ?

Thanks again everyone.