Lissa
Well-known member
Any advice would be much appreciated. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. I'm in my 30s and he's in his 40s, and he is still married even though he and his wife separated 10 years ago. They have two children.
He's not good at all at showing his emotions. He used to be very affectionate towards me and now is hardly at all, although I have talked to him about this several times, it improves for a couple of days and then it's back to hardly any touching, cuddles, kissing etc. He says that's just the way he is and I should love him for who he is. Sex is almost like a chore to him - that's how I feel any way. He told me once he loved foreplay but I don't get any anymore! We have talked about moving in together, and before we took that step I thought it was a good time to talk a bit about finances etc. So I asked him how much he pays to his ex wife for child support, just that I was interested and that we were going to be living together and should talk about these things. First of all he said that it was not an issue and seemed like he was going to tell me. But then he changed and started to argue, said that it wasn't relevant to our lives and why did I want to know all of a sudden? Then he said "it's between me and her". That absolutely broke my heart to be told that. I thought we were going to share our life together and that means everything, even small details like that.
Am I right to be so hurt and offended by that comment? It was so hurtful after all the other problems we seem to be having. I just don't feel loved.
He's not good at all at showing his emotions. He used to be very affectionate towards me and now is hardly at all, although I have talked to him about this several times, it improves for a couple of days and then it's back to hardly any touching, cuddles, kissing etc. He says that's just the way he is and I should love him for who he is. Sex is almost like a chore to him - that's how I feel any way. He told me once he loved foreplay but I don't get any anymore! We have talked about moving in together, and before we took that step I thought it was a good time to talk a bit about finances etc. So I asked him how much he pays to his ex wife for child support, just that I was interested and that we were going to be living together and should talk about these things. First of all he said that it was not an issue and seemed like he was going to tell me. But then he changed and started to argue, said that it wasn't relevant to our lives and why did I want to know all of a sudden? Then he said "it's between me and her". That absolutely broke my heart to be told that. I thought we were going to share our life together and that means everything, even small details like that.
Am I right to be so hurt and offended by that comment? It was so hurtful after all the other problems we seem to be having. I just don't feel loved.