what men do while you're shopping...!?

cloverette

Well-known member
i got this as a PDF-attachment, but since i can't attach documents here, i copy/pasted its content:

Jon Walker
Store Manager
Kmart store 4855
Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503

Mrs. Fenton
35 Rasmussen Street
Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husbands activities while in our store. The list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies on tape.


We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store.

The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what happened.

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy.

September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows.

September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”

October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose.

November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.

December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

John F. Walker
Store Manager


so... what do your boyfriends/husbands do while you're shopping?
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Shimmer

Well-known member
I don't shop.
smiles.gif
Not really at least. My husband barges through pushing the basket as fast as he can and literally saying move it or lose it to people in the middle of the aisle.
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around.
 

cloverette

Well-known member
i have no idea whether it's real or not... the letter in the pdf-document looks real (with manager's signature, telephone number etc.), but nowadays- with everything being digital- who knows!
 

Katura

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shimmer
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha...too funny.
 

cloverette

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shimmer
I don't shop.
smiles.gif
Not really at least. My husband barges through pushing the basket as fast as he can and literally saying move it or lose it to people in the middle of the aisle.
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around.


OMG! that's hilarious!
 

Shimmer

Well-known member
Y'all I'm not kidding.
He's almost dangerous...and if you get in his way? He stares you down until you move. I mean, he's been known (and I'm NOT exxagerating) to glare at someone looking at bread whilst standing in the middle of the aisle and finally say "Are you waiting on them to grow more wheat? No? Ok, let me by then while you daydream..."
On one hand it's hilarious, on the other hand it's nice that he gets done w/shopping in about twenty minutes, including checkout.
 

Jaim

Well-known member
Grocery shopping is fine with my boyfriend. He's the self-proclaimed bag boy when I'm buying fruits or veggies. But he's bad for sneaking candy and stuff in when I'm not looking.

He behaves until I go to MAC, then he makes fun. ;p If I say something like "New things! Look!" he replies with "Oh, they're all so beautiful! How will you choose which things to buy? I can barely help myself I'm just so excited!"

I went to MAC with my boyfriend and sister yesterday and we were talking about the new things and my boyfriend was saying "I agree! These are lovely!" to everything we said. Haha.
 

Shawna

Well-known member
It is an old list from a joke page. I wish it were real. I think it used to be titled "fun things to do in Walmart" but I can't remember. There was a whole page of funny lists like that. I'll have to see if I can find the link.
 

Janice

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shimmer
Y'all I'm not kidding.
"Are you waiting on them to grow more wheat? No? Ok, let me by then while you daydream..."


Gawd, you think your husband is bad? Wait till you go grocery shopping with mine. Our local HEB (grocery store) is COUNTRY and it's ALWAYS packed. Ian flies through it with a death stare on his face - glaring at anyone who gets in his way, and doesn't hesitate a SECOND to tell someone stop hogging/clogging the aisles and walkways (your husbands comment is nice compared to what comes out of Ian's mouth).... it's not pretty...
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MxAxC-_ATTACK

Well-known member
I wish my b.f did that. we go to the store and he doesnt even know where to begin. . . . His mother sheltered him for tooo many years.

she did all the shopping for him. sometimes he borrows my car and i find a package of JUICE BOXES and im like .. "your mother decided you didnt know how to retrieve fluids for yourself again i see."
 

Pink_minx

Well-known member
When my bf comes along with me to the mall he either plays with the things at the store im in. Like in sephora he will test out stuff like open compacts, feel the makeup brushes, open and close lil make up pallettes just like he would do if he was in Best Buy testing out all the electronics. Or if Im in a clothing store he will mope around and follow me looking all bored.

As for grocery shopping he likes to find the cheapest food and compare it to the ones im buying and say things like im waisting money I could by this for this much and save a lot more money. It can get annoying!
 

Lalli

Well-known member
my bf acts like he doesnt wana be there when im buying clothes and stuff but suddenly likes to pass comments like "isnt that a lil too tight" get the longer ones or oo buy this, as for food shopping hes ok. but he really peed me off when we went to get some jeans for him every pair i picked he was like lalli i already have those to every single one, in the end i threw the jeans dwn and told him to stick his head up his arse
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after which i got a bunch of roses hehe
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Shimmer

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pink_minx
When my bf comes along with me to the mall he either plays with the things at the store im in. Like in sephora he will test out stuff like open compacts, feel the makeup brushes, open and close lil make up pallettes just like he would do if he was in Best Buy testing out all the electronics. Or if Im in a clothing store he will mope around and follow me looking all bored.

As for grocery shopping he likes to find the cheapest food and compare it to the ones im buying and say things like im waisting money I could by this for this much and save a lot more money. It can get annoying!


I solved that once.

I made two grilled cheese sandwhiches. One with MY cheese and MY bread and MY butter...one with the generic stuff, and I made him taste test.
I won.
greengrin.gif
 

sewpunk

Well-known member
Great posts eveyone!

Hub won't go shopping with me at all. I am too slow. :roll:

But if he wants to go shopping... that is another story all together. He makes me run around looking for things that will look good on him!
 
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