what men do while you're shopping...!?
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brandiisamonkey
Well-known member
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holy crap I cant believe you were brave enough to eat it lol...
I was terrified after that
| Originally Posted by faifai OMG this happened to you too?! I thought my cheese was possessed or something, it happened to me when I was attempting to make a grilled cheese too. I then microwaved it, and...it began to inflate like foam, and then when it was done, it was very hard, twice the size it was before, cracked into flakes when flung on the floor, and tasted like a Cheese Nip. it was the most bizarre thing in the world. i call it the Devil Cheese, mostly because I accidentally bought several boxes when they were on sale and am STILL trying to finish it. it tastes fine unheated in food, but lord help you if you try to cook it. Kraft singles are the way to go for processed cheese that still resembles...cheese. |
holy crap I cant believe you were brave enough to eat it lol...
MAC_Whore
Well-known member
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Shimmer, I'll say it again: It's like we were twins seperated at birth!
| Originally Posted by Shimmer Seriously I'm the worst in the world at places like that. One of my Sonic carhops and I have a running joke that she owes me a lapdance before I'll give her a tip, so when I know she's working I tell the person taking my order to send her out so she can give me 'the special'
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Shimmer, I'll say it again: It's like we were twins seperated at birth!
Makeupluvr
Well-known member
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LOL, assholery! HA HA HA!!!!! That is HILLARIOUS! The top part was very well written too.
And I keep meaning to write you to say that your avitar is FREAKIN' HOT! Who's body is that? She is ABSOLUTELY rockin'!
And your other post, "with girl parts" LOL. You are too funny
| Originally Posted by Shimmer *shrug* I'm going to remind you that when you signed on to the site, you agreed to the terms of service of the site (also known as the TOS). I wouldn't think it was a wise thing to continue in this pattern, so, in all friendliness, consider this the warning.
I'm going to go a little further and say that while I recognize that the behaviour isn't the most polite of behaviours it is NECESSARY given that the propensity of today's society has such an inflated sense of self entitlement it is impossible to walk through the aisles at the market because of people stopping with their basket and taking up an entire aisle, and blocking passage for others on either side, while they ponder the greatest of all questions: "White over wheat?" "Tuna with oil or water?" "Tampax Pearl or OB?" Needless to say, standing aside whilst these decisions are made is mildly irritating the first time, but after continually finding oneself in the situation of waiting 2-7 minutes while Mr. and Mrs. Random debate the merits of Prego vs. Ragu or some similarly earthshattering debate, one can often find the temper is rising and patience is diminishing. So, who's the real asshole here? The guy who's trying to go through and get his job done so he can go home to his family and get work that is necessary completed, or the people meandering around disregarding others? For me, while the former can definitely BE an asshole, the latter are the ones who are actively engaging in assholery. |
LOL, assholery! HA HA HA!!!!! That is HILLARIOUS! The top part was very well written too.
And I keep meaning to write you to say that your avitar is FREAKIN' HOT! Who's body is that? She is ABSOLUTELY rockin'!
And your other post, "with girl parts" LOL. You are too funny
Shimmer
Well-known member
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I had to read this thread to him, because I was laughing so hard, and this was his response.
| Originally Posted by shimmer's husband I suppose that I can be described as an a-hole. In fact I think of myself as one often. You see when I’m in public I do my very best to exhibit a certain respect for my fellow man. I try not to invade their space, I do my best to drive politely, I even hold the door open for ladies and other store patrons. However when I am forced to shop be it for groceries, school clothes, or even lawn supplies, I know and I mean I KNOW what I’m there to get. The following behaviors from other patrons annoy me to no end. The hundred meter mosey. I’m on my way to aisle 1 to start my shopping experience. In aisle 1 I am going to get Dr. Peppers, milk, and eggs. At 42 years of age I know exactly the brand of eggs I want and how many before I even get to the chicken embryos. Fat mom and herd of children are walking across the aisle blocking my access or all passing routes at the pace that would make a tortoise go ‘damn they’re moving slow’. Regardless of the fact that it’s obvious I’m back there and have a place to go they do not allow me to pass. I’m not happy at this point and am considering using one of her offspring as a speed bump for my cart. The ‘I don’t know what I wanters’. The happens far too often on the meat and spice aisles. I want chicken breasts. The 8 pack of chicken breasts with which I will cook a variety of meals for my family. Chicken comes with or without bones and there are options of breasts, thighs, whole chickens. HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE TO STAND THERE BLOCKING THE AISLE WITH YOUR FAT BUTT ON ONE SIDE AND YOUR CART ON THE OTHER TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND? Further that if you see me standing there with the obvious intent to move past you use the forces that it takes to get your leviathan like butt out of the way for the two seconds that it takes me to walk by, grab the 8 pack, and be gone. But no you just keep standing there debating on the question that has plagued mankind forever. Boneless or with bones. The stockboy who doesn’t care. Yes I know you are making minimum wage and my state of mind is of absolutely no concern to you but for the love of God man leave an aisle in front of the beer. Again I know what I want. A 30 pack of keystone. ITS RIGHT THERE and all I have to do is make a walk around the block or grab my climbing gear and go over Mt St Charmin’s dropping on you on the other side. The ‘oops I bought too muchers’. Come on now. If you’ve only got $100 worth of food stamps you can not, in this day and age, fill a cart to the brim with prime rib and pineapples. Get the basics and don’t tell the checker to stop at $100. Guess what you’re stupid AND rude. Please don’t compound this by asking the checker to take 3 jars of baby food out so you can buy the latest edition of Cosmo. The Lotto Loon. Okay not in a grocery store but in a quick mart or 7-11. Again I know what I want. A 12 pack, can of snuff, some candy for the wife and kids and I can pick it up in 3 minutes flat. So what do I get? A REASONABLE person who knows that they want the break the bank and a jackpot 6? NOOOOOOOOO… I get the toothless welfare loon who wants a ‘I want a (60 second pause) break the bank, a (60 second pause) Texas jackpot, a Scratch Six no wait (2 minute pause) and a oh wait (counts change in pockets) ya a Jackpot Lilly’ Do keep in mind this is the short list of things that irritate me at stores I could add more but I want to go drive my little cartoon airplane around and shoot other guys in little cartoon airplanes. So if I by giving you the glare of death because you have, by your rudeness and stupidity, earned it am and a-hole so be it. I am. I can live with that title because I have a wife I worship to the point that she doesn’t have to cook, grocery shop, or any number of the mundane things that most wives are expected to do and by doing so frees her up to engage in recreational pursuits like makeup sites and painting her face in ever more interesting ways which makes her happy. Kids that I spoil in every way I can because as I worship her I worship them just as much and do things for that make them happy. And I also have three dogs that I’m really fond of and try to find time to hug and pet them daily because that makes them happy. You just got the glare of death because you have taken time out of my life that I could be spending with them which makes ME happy. Maybe its just that you don’t know me
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I had to read this thread to him, because I was laughing so hard, and this was his response.
queenofdisaster
Well-known member
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THAT was my husband with the stroller at the mall yesterday.
HAHAHAHA! It was so funny b/c we were getting so pissed off at people. I hate how disrespectful they are at the mall and especially at WALMART!!!!!!!! ARGH!
| Originally Posted by Shimmer I don't shop.
When he goes grocery shopping, he don't fuck around. |
THAT was my husband with the stroller at the mall yesterday.
queenofdisaster
Well-known member
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your husband is a lot like mine... that's hilarious and it's very true...
i hate how people block aisles and pretend you're not there until the 5th freakin time you ever-so-politely say "excuse me" and finally have to scream "MOOOOVEEEEEE!!!!"
| Originally Posted by Shimmer's Husband Do keep in mind this is the short list of things that irritate me at stores I could add more but I want to go drive my little cartoon airplane around and shoot other guys in little cartoon airplanes. |
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| Originally Posted by Shimmer I had to read this thread to him, because I was laughing so hard, and this was his response.
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your husband is a lot like mine... that's hilarious and it's very true...
i hate how people block aisles and pretend you're not there until the 5th freakin time you ever-so-politely say "excuse me" and finally have to scream "MOOOOVEEEEEE!!!!"
queenofdisaster
Well-known member
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i had to make my husband pause the television so i could read your husband's story to him. he was rollin... he's like "thats my kinda guy!!"
| Originally Posted by Shimmer Normally, he's really polite, very articulate and quite considerate. However these behaviours listed above will drive him to the edge of insanity with a rapidity unlike any other.
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i had to make my husband pause the television so i could read your husband's story to him. he was rollin... he's like "thats my kinda guy!!"
eowyn797
Well-known member
I think my boyfriend is secretly a girl. he tries to hide it, tho.
eg: every time we go to the MAC counter, i bounce around gleefully, swatching things, fondling, drooling, etc...and he stands there looking extremely bored, occasionally handing me things, seemingly at random, to try on. after 15 minutes of this i will turn to him and say "if you're bored, we can go" and he'll reply with, "nono, i'm just waiting for the makeup chick (by which me means MA) to be free so i can ask her to make me look like Captian Jack...this place does the makeup in that movie, right?" and then hand me something else to try on.
every SINGLE time we go, he says this at some point, yet he never actually asks them to help him
and when we're sitting around at home, he has now taken up looking through forums to see if anyone has posted how to put together a Captain Jack look with MAC stuff...
i almost never take him clothes shopping because that's just a disaster. but then i hate clothes shopping with *anyone*. it take me hours and hours to try things on and decide.
but jewlery shopping? again, his inner girl comes out and he's grabbing things left and right all "try this one...OHWAITNO try THIS one! SHINY!"
eg: every time we go to the MAC counter, i bounce around gleefully, swatching things, fondling, drooling, etc...and he stands there looking extremely bored, occasionally handing me things, seemingly at random, to try on. after 15 minutes of this i will turn to him and say "if you're bored, we can go" and he'll reply with, "nono, i'm just waiting for the makeup chick (by which me means MA) to be free so i can ask her to make me look like Captian Jack...this place does the makeup in that movie, right?" and then hand me something else to try on.
every SINGLE time we go, he says this at some point, yet he never actually asks them to help him
i almost never take him clothes shopping because that's just a disaster. but then i hate clothes shopping with *anyone*. it take me hours and hours to try things on and decide.
but jewlery shopping? again, his inner girl comes out and he's grabbing things left and right all "try this one...OHWAITNO try THIS one! SHINY!"
