Your Thoughts on Hazing.

[darkishstar]

I know there is a number of you that have been in the Greek system. Has any sort of hazing been involved? Or if not, was there any you ever knew of?

The more I think about it, the less sense it makes other than the fact that hazing is just done for a power trip and to just punish new pledges for what the actives have been through their previous year. It's like punishing your kids because you yourself were abused as a child right? I don't know how that would build any type of sisterhood because that's what hazing is supposed to do apparently. I think they just give hazing excuses to be done, but it just boils down to being a power trip and just revenge.

Am I wrong about this?
What is the point to hazing if not what I have concluded?

 

[chocolategoddes]

First off, Hi Elaine!!!

Okay, I'm all for tradition and a bit of mischeif, but I think extreme hazing is completely wrong.
I think sororities and fraternities do it to see how much a person really wants to join their exclusive group. A bit of a challenge.

I've never been hazed before but I don't think anyone should be subjected to any sort of abuse or disrespect just to show they are worthy to be in their sisterhood.

And you're right: Why would anyone want to be friendly with people who made them feel like worthless dirt?
And you're right

 

[Cocopuff]

I will say this...hazing is wrong and should not be done or tolerated! When I went back to school I was considered a 'non-traditional' student. I lived off campus, was married and had one kid. During my pledging process, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. The sisters tried to hold that against me, but I QUICKLY, put those 'little girls' in check and let them know what WAS and WAS NOT about to happen. I made sure that I contacted the Dean and also the President of the Chapter and made my voice be heard. I am not sure what hazing went on in my line, but I am well aware that there was some. I think with me being older and respected, they did not play around with me

 

[mizuki~]

I don't know much about sororities and stuff like that but I do know that hazing is just wrong. I think they are somewhat "testing" pledges to see how far they'd go to get in but I do think that it's like a more of a power trip for them and that their sadistic asses just love to see the newbies suffer so they can get a good laugh. I saw a documentary on the dangers of hazing and a few people have died from doing these ridiculous stunts..

BTW, can someone tell me what the point of sororities and fraternities are? Are there benefits or something? I always thought of it as joining a gang that doesn't have your back lol

 

[Prinsesa]

It's funny..to be in their sisterhood, they have to abuse you. Both my parents are in the same organization and I'm basically a half-blood, whatever that means lol But anyways, if you are going to be "sisters", why abuse your "sister"?

 

[AliVix1]

hazing isn't done under the pretense of "sisterhood" with the actives but under the pretense that it's supposed to make you closer with your pledge class, which it does in a lot of ways... if you're going through hell alongside other people of course it's going to make you all closer... i dunno im against outlandish and unnecessary hazing... but i understand the tradition of if and i mean you also know what you're getting yourself into when you sign up and you always have the opportunity to leave if its not for you... not saying that there arent horrible cases... two boys in my brothers frat almost died and the chapter has been suspended for ten years which of course is an extreme horrible case... but having to clean, dealing with temporary attitude, and learning the greek alphabet/songs/whatever isnt going to kill you

 

[darkishstar]

Quote:

Originally Posted by AliVix1 hazing isn't done under the pretense of "sisterhood" with the actives but under the pretense that it's supposed to make you closer with your pledge class, which it does in a lot of ways... if you're going through hell alongside other people of course it's going to make you all closer... i dunno im against outlandish and unnecessary hazing... but i understand the tradition of if and i mean you also know what you're getting yourself into when you sign up and you always have the opportunity to leave if its not for you... not saying that there arent horrible cases... two boys in my brothers frat almost died and the chapter has been suspended for ten years which of course is an extreme horrible case... but having to clean, dealing with temporary attitude, and learning the greek alphabet/songs/whatever isnt going to kill you

No, see the thing is, I understand that. I know it is meant to make you closer with your pledge class, you "unite" against your common enemy, the actives because you end up hating them. What I find wrong about this is... aren't you supposed to be close with ALL the sisters in your sorority? Shouldn't there not be 4 separate factions within the sisterhood because they hate the previous class? Shouldn't we all unite for a common goal/love, and that is for sisterhood?

It's disturbing that some of my pledge sisters can't wait to cross so they can do this to the next pledge class. See, they don't want to cross for the SISTERHOOD, they want to cross so that the work is over, they can get at the next class. That's not sisterhood, that's just wanting to haze then, just to haze because you got hazed, not to make sisterhood. Cleaning I can take, the attitude fine (they're bad actors anyways), learning all that stuff is fine.

Am I so strange to think there is something wrong with that?

 

[Beauty Mark]

I think hazing is bs, honestly. Life is hard enough and you'll go through plenty of trials as is without creating them; you and your best friend didn't have to create stuff just to become closer, did you?

Beyond that, if you aren't comfortable doing this, why are you? Seriously, do not go on with it if you don't want to.

 

[NutMeg]

I think you hit the nail on the head darkishstar. Even if sororities/frats were a big deal on my campus (which they aren't at all), I wouldn't join one. Not my thing, end of story.

 

[coachkitten]

Is your sorority part of the National Panhellenic Association or is it seperated from that? I though that you mentioned earlier that you were going to join an all asian sorority but I could be wrong. Sometimes sororities that are not recognized by your schools Panhellenic Association don't have the same rules to follow regarding hazing.

I was in a sorority for all four years of college. We NEVER hazed EVER. We didn't even joke about it. And when I was president of my chapter and an older member tried to haze a freshman she was immediately dropped from the house and banned as a member. I had lots of friends in other sororities and some of their chapters did do a bit of hazing and when they were caught (which they almost always were) they got in serious trouble.

If your sorority has a national office you should report them. I know that it seems like you are telling on them but what they are doing is WRONG. You obviously know that since you are feeling so torn about it.

Maybe this sorority is not the right fit for you and another would be better. Good luck!

 

[lilMAClady]

Hazing is rediculous, and cruel. In instances I've seen its just a bunch of seemingly "cool" older girls that prey upon the weakminded desires of the younger ones that want so bad to be a part of their group they would do just about anything. I would NEVER do something degrading or against my better judgement just to be apart of some clique. You like me for me and thats that. If I have to PROVE myself then you and your "organization" are not worth my time.

 

[darkishstar]

Quote:

Originally Posted by coachkitten Is your sorority part of the National Panhellenic Association or is it seperated from that? I though that you mentioned earlier that you were going to join an all asian sorority but I could be wrong. Sometimes sororities that are not recognized by your schools Panhellenic Association don't have the same rules to follow regarding hazing. I was in a sorority for all four years of college. We NEVER hazed EVER. We didn't even joke about it. And when I was president of my chapter and an older member tried to haze a freshman she was immediately dropped from the house and banned as a member. I had lots of friends in other sororities and some of their chapters did do a bit of hazing and when they were caught (which they almost always were) they got in serious trouble. If your sorority has a national office you should report them. I know that it seems like you are telling on them but what they are doing is WRONG. You obviously know that since you are feeling so torn about it. Maybe this sorority is not the right fit for you and another would be better. Good luck!

Yeah, I'm beginning to think it's not for me.
I just feel guilty about my big sis and big bro and my pledge sisters if I dp...

And no, there is no national office because they are not part of Panhellenic. The frats are actually much worse. So yeah..

 

[SkylarV217]

Thats the problem with the nonPanhellenic groups... they don't answer to anyone . They are the ones getting away with this crap . We have offical ones on our campus and there is NO hazing... I pledged a national m Sorority my freshman year and i got tons of gifts, I didn't have to do a single thing and I wouldn't have. Hazing is Illegal in my state and all national chapters can be taken out for such practices. Yet there is a COG school in my town that has "greek clubs" b/c Panhellithic one are "satan" and there are the worlds worst about hazing ...

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Hazing can be a good thing, or it can be a bad thing.

I think that people just need to be mindful and aware of potential dangers when they are making plans.

I went to school with a young man who died his first year in college because of a hazing stunt gone horribly wrong.

 

[katie_070405]

Meh....I quit my sorority. I didn't agree with them telling me what I could & couldn't do because it was "unlady like" & then getting us S**tfaced drunk when I was only 18....which I'm pretty sure is illegal & very unlady like.

 

[xxsgtigressxx]

Ok, well Im in a sorority and unfortunately sororities in my school do haze. However, I was never put in any physical danger or downright degraded either. Yes it sucked, but to be honest, you can walk away. You have that power. If it's that bad, no ones stepping in front of you. Plus, (Im not sayinag i agree with any of the practices as when I was a nice sister) pledging is all a facade. The sisters dont hate you, they unfortunately are doing to you what was done to them, fair or not. If you do cross, you will see how pledging is such bs and you will wonder why you were ever scared or upset. But like I said, leave if you want to. Pledging is a game, you have to learn to play it. I dont know how it is in your school, but when I was pledging my sorority I learned to take everything with a grain of salt and let things go in one ear and out the other. Learn your sorority history and stuff about the sisters, and that will give the sisters less ammo to use against you.
I will say though that if this is something that means a lot to you, you wouldnt be putting this on a message board for God knows who to see (even if you are upset now, if you do plan on crossing Im thinking you would regret this in the future because I know I would). Im not saying to keep quiet if you feel like you are wronged, but I think you would be better off talking to someone who has actually pledged and/or is or has been in a sorority, or your greek advisor or pledge mom. Its something that non-greeks don't usually relate to. And it makes all greek organizations look bad, whether that was your intent or not. Im not trying to lecture and I wish you luck, stay strong, and walk away if you feel in danger or degraded.

 

[xxsgtigressxx]

P.S. I would pledge again, the benefits FAR FAR FAR outweigh sucky pledging. and I'm not trying to get you in my sorority because I dont even go to your school. At least I think dont. I dont know where you go...ok im rambling lol

 

[Debbie]

...see below

 

[Debbie]

I just wrote a really long response and so pissed that I accidentally deleted it.

1. I think it's fair to judge those actives who are corrupt and are doing the things they do to humiliate and not to teach. But, I don't think it's fair to knock on Non-Panhellenic sororities without understanding the founders' intentions and how it's supposed to be carried out. Each year, core values become diluted through corruption and hunger for power, and that's where you have situations that you have now.
2. I have no issues with hazing per say, as long as it doesn't put you in physical harm, forces you to do things like drugs, underage drinking, have sex with random guys (the shit you see on tv) etc. I'm all about tough pledging, because in the end...these girls are going to be your pledge sisters, and as someone mentioned--it truly creates a bond.
3. I could've chosen Panhellenic, but chose Asian greek instead, and don't regret it for one second. It was like the best of all worlds, I was able to of course do philanthropy/community service, sisterhood events, social activities, academics, AND best of all cultural activities that focused on Asian culture. It was TOUGH. I basically had a crash course in time management--but through the experience---I retained 4 other girls who I've remained extremely close with even 6 years post pledging. We will be in each other's wedding, each other's god mothers for our children, and forever confidantes for each other. I really don't think that would've been possible for me had I not gone through a pledgeship that allowed us to gain trust in each other. I'm still very close to my Lil Sis, and still pick up the phone to listen to her cry about her problems---some of the toughest things that's hard to hear. Again, I gained her trust as I supported her 100% while she went through a tough pledgeship.

It sucks that actives now have taken core values, and have taken it out of context. At the end of the day, you're responsible for your own actions. You could decide to break the cycle, and encourage your pledge sisters to do the same if and when you cross. Once you're there, you could still be tough and teach them, but do it with a caring heart and the results/and how you are received by pledges will be far different. I myself have come back as an alumn when I see that actives are acting out of hand. I encourage you to reach out to the alums. Think about it really hard before you DP. I DP'd my freshmen year and it was such a big regret of mine. I came back Jr. year and despite some drama, I think it was one of the best things in college.

Sorry for the long response, but feel free to PM me if you want to talk more. Also, I'd set your profile to private or remove pictures. You never know what will come back to bite you while you're pledging/ before you're crossing. Good luck!

 

[darkishstar]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxsgtigressxx Ok, well Im in a sorority and unfortunately sororities in my school do haze. However, I was never put in any physical danger or downright degraded either. Yes it sucked, but to be honest, you can walk away. You have that power. If it's that bad, no ones stepping in front of you. Plus, (Im not sayinag i agree with any of the practices as when I was a nice sister) pledging is all a facade. The sisters dont hate you, they unfortunately are doing to you what was done to them, fair or not. If you do cross, you will see how pledging is such bs and you will wonder why you were ever scared or upset. But like I said, leave if you want to. Pledging is a game, you have to learn to play it. I dont know how it is in your school, but when I was pledging my sorority I learned to take everything with a grain of salt and let things go in one ear and out the other. Learn your sorority history and stuff about the sisters, and that will give the sisters less ammo to use against you. I will say though that if this is something that means a lot to you, you wouldnt be putting this on a message board for God knows who to see (even if you are upset now, if you do plan on crossing Im thinking you would regret this in the future because I know I would). Im not saying to keep quiet if you feel like you are wronged, but I think you would be better off talking to someone who has actually pledged and/or is or has been in a sorority, or your greek advisor or pledge mom. Its something that non-greeks don't usually relate to. And it makes all greek organizations look bad, whether that was your intent or not. Im not trying to lecture and I wish you luck, stay strong, and walk away if you feel in danger or degraded.

Oh, I have talked with other people as well. But I think it's fair to get outside opinion too, especially anonymity over the internet and people away from my particular org. I did not state what org this was for or whatever was in the process. I never would tell. So unless someone decides to dig really hard for dirt for whatever reason, though that would be lame, they can't prove whether I'm making this up or not right?

It wasn't my intent to make Greek life look bad. It is a sensitive topic, which is why I posted it in this forum. People can take for it what they will, I interpret what everyone says my own way. If they think badly of Greek, chances are they have already, even before I posted.