I just wrote a really long response and so pissed that I accidentally deleted it.
1. I think it's fair to judge those actives who are corrupt and are doing the things they do to humiliate and not to teach. But, I don't think it's fair to knock on Non-Panhellenic sororities without understanding the founders' intentions and how it's supposed to be carried out. Each year, core values become diluted through corruption and hunger for power, and that's where you have situations that you have now.
2. I have no issues with hazing per say, as long as it doesn't put you in physical harm, forces you to do things like drugs, underage drinking, have sex with random guys (the shit you see on tv) etc. I'm all about tough pledging, because in the end...these girls are going to be your pledge sisters, and as someone mentioned--it truly creates a bond.
3. I could've chosen Panhellenic, but chose Asian greek instead, and don't regret it for one second. It was like the best of all worlds, I was able to of course do philanthropy/community service, sisterhood events, social activities, academics, AND best of all cultural activities that focused on Asian culture. It was TOUGH. I basically had a crash course in time management--but through the experience---I retained 4 other girls who I've remained extremely close with even 6 years post pledging. We will be in each other's wedding, each other's god mothers for our children, and forever confidantes for each other. I really don't think that would've been possible for me had I not gone through a pledgeship that allowed us to gain trust in each other. I'm still very close to my Lil Sis, and still pick up the phone to listen to her cry about her problems---some of the toughest things that's hard to hear. Again, I gained her trust as I supported her 100% while she went through a tough pledgeship.
It sucks that actives now have taken core values, and have taken it out of context. At the end of the day, you're responsible for your own actions. You could decide to break the cycle, and encourage your pledge sisters to do the same if and when you cross. Once you're there, you could still be tough and teach them, but do it with a caring heart and the results/and how you are received by pledges will be far different. I myself have come back as an alumn when I see that actives are acting out of hand. I encourage you to reach out to the alums. Think about it really hard before you DP. I DP'd my freshmen year and it was such a big regret of mine. I came back Jr. year and despite some drama, I think it was one of the best things in college.
Sorry for the long response, but feel free to PM me if you want to talk more. Also, I'd set your profile to private or remove pictures. You never know what will come back to bite you while you're pledging/ before you're crossing. Good luck!