Dumped by text message, by fiance of 5years!!!!

[christina83]

hey everyone on saturday my fiance of 5years dumped me by text.
hes at uni and was acting very odd lately, saying he was busy working (as hes in his final year) so i trusted him like an idiot.
He went to the cinema with his spanish female friend from his halls, and when i kicked up a fuss he said i was pathetic.
I voiced myself to her on facebook and said i wasnt comfortable with her going to the cinema alone with my fiance, and instead of backing off got him to drive to nottingham to pick her friend up from the airport. after that she invited him out with her and the girls, then the day after he went to cambrige with them.
he told me late january how much he loved me, and that i was his angel, showed me furtniture that we'd have in our house when he finishes uni in 2months and other plans. then all of a sudden he acts odd. sends 1text per day, when hes 200miles away. says hes working hard all the time, then saturday i talk to him on the phone and he says he'll phone me at 10 and i say ok, and we both say love you, love you, bye bye, love you, love you (our little goodbye thing on the phone) and then we put the phone down, i go to my room, do some hoovering, come back down see my phone has a text and it says "christina ive got to be honest with you i dont think i love you, and more so ive cheated on you and i dont think its fair. im going to turn my phone off now, give you time to think.talk to you soon."
and that was it, 5years gone.
i feel so hurt and alone, and scared of being single again as its unfamiliar.
i think he chose the cowards way out and shows he has no balls.
he also told me he had impotence from stress when he came down for valentines day and i felt sorry for him.
i thought i was a parnoid gf and went on antidepressants thinkn i was ill, but i was subconsiously knowing something i think.
sorry this is long, i just needed to vent and ask for advice on how to get over this.
thanx

 

[Shimmer]

There's no way anyone can tell you to how to get over it. You just have to wake up in the morning and move forward.

I'm sorry.

 

[MiCHiE]

Wow. What an ass. It may be hard to do, but consider yourself lucky.

 

[nunu]

what a jerk! i am sorry this happened but atleast you know that he is a coward and he doesn't deserve you.

 

[purrtykitty]

Such an ass...I don't mean this to sound harsh, but at least you found out before you married the ass. Again, I'm very sorry...I hope you feel better soon.

 

[christina83]

yeah i guess so, its just that i waited for 4years for him to finish uni and he was almost done and he did this.its annoying..
if we'd married at least i could have hit him where it hurts, his pocket, lol. only joking!!!! he was so tight with money though.

 

[averiejuli]

oh wow... he's a jerk for sure! after 5 years he owes you far more respect than a stupid text message. You deserve so much better!!!!

He musta been scared to do it person-he will be trying to get back with you after you move on. They always come back! Time is on your side-believe that. It's going to hurt like hell for a few months but one morning you will wake up and won't think of him-and when that happens you will smile to yourself

 

[tiramisu]

^Exactly as PurrtyKitty said... once you "get over" the initial sting of how completely shitty he has been... you'll someday soon be so very grateful you never married him and had to learn AFTER saying vows he never intended to keep (as in, if he could do this after making a commitment to be engaged to you, and the five year relationship thing... )

*hugs* to you...

 

[bklynfemme]

I sympathize with you. It's extremely hard to get over and get through, but time heals all wounds. I had a boyfriend of 4 years who broke up with me via email and i found out had a whole separate girlfriend. and I just recently a boyfriend of 2 years who ignored me for a week then broke up with me with a text message and a quick phone call...( i know how to pick em')

anyways, I can relate to how you are feeling. It's scary, and it may seem like being single is impossible. and that your world is incomplete and it's just a task trying to wake up every morning and not cry and feel sad. but trust me, think positively, keep yourself busy do things for yourself that make you happy. don't contact him, or wonder what he's doing even though it seems like the hardest thing ever. out of sight, out of mind. give yourself time to grieve, bc after all it really is like mourning. it's ok to be sad, just try to pick yourself up a little bit everyday and be patient.

i hope i helped, even just a bit. it's the worst most vulnerable feeling in the world but hang in there

*strength, courage and wisdom..."




-bklynfemme

 

[Shimmer]

Since he admitted cheating on you, you should probably get tested for STDs asap.

 

[meiming]

I don't have any advice for you. All I can say is I'm sorry you have to go through this and big big HUG!

 

[christina83]

thanx for the replies.
we used condoms so i think im ok for stds. hopefully.

 

[dmenchi]

this guy is the worst cockroach everrr...honey, you are better than this...just thing about how now you can be free and focus on yourself!!! What a scumbag, sorry this is the worst story i've ever read! Did you talk to him since then????please do not ever take him back, he will walk over you. I know his kind- he might come crying and begging, but this is a projection of how your life would be with him....you'll find someone that will love and respect you. I know it's hard right now but time will heal your wounds and making new friends/reconnecting with old friends will keep you busy. enjoy the socialscene and don't give this boy the tears that he doesn't deserve anyway...feel free to pm me if you need to talk

 

[dmenchi]

Big Hug!

 

[aaj83]

yup honey..you deserve much better..!!

just be glad that you didn't get married to the jerk...i mean..imagine if he would have cheated on you after you guys were married or something..!

you should be glad..and yah...i know its not easy to move on...but try to keep yourself busy with your friends or something...its not easy..but you have to try..i.e. to distract yourself

 

[SparklingWaves]

I am very sorry for the pain this person has caused you. I am glad that he did notify you the truth. The last thing you need is to base a new marriage around lies and secrets.

 

[Ms. Z]

Honey, I feel so bad for you. He’s a JERK!!!!! I know it may be hard, but Forget him, don’t allow him to take up anymore of your time.

 

[frocher]

......

 

[Beauty Mark]

It can't be said enough: what an ass! No one should ever be dumped in such a cowardly, disrespectful way. I hope you someday soon realize how much better off without him you are

 

[CantAffordMAC]

what an asshole. i know it feels like u wasted ur time/life with him. Dont think of it that way. think of it as a learning experience. No matter what....life will go on. at least u didnt marry him and find out later because marriage is supposedly a bitch to get out of

let him do what he wants to do. im sure he will miss u and try to get u back--don't let him. its his loss. you are way too good for him and I hope u know that. what a freaking loser--your life is going to be so much better without him in it!