How do you kick a bridesmaid out of your wedding?

[hello_my_apple]

like i said eairler she asked to be in and sort of put herself in the wedding. so she shouldnt be acting like this.




Quote:

Originally Posted by BEA2LS mybe she will be relieved to not be a bridesmaid. i backed out of my friend's wedding last summer.. even had a thread here. and i handled it wrong, i should have said no in the begining but i do not regert ending the friendship, to be honest.

 

[Dar]

Sounds like she doesnt really care otherwise she would be making an effort and showing up on time. I would just tell her that its not working out and that she is causing you so much worry that you dont need and that she is still invited just not as a bridesmaid. after all its your wedding you dont want to look back on it and think you could of enjoyed it more and had less stress.

 

[BEA2LS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple like i said eairler she asked to be in and sort of put herself in the wedding. so she shouldnt be acting like this.

I totally agree.. my situation was the opposite, i wanted to be involve and help out and the bride just wanted the money for stuff, did not want to make plans with me or any of the bridesmaids.

you do not deserve this stress, i hope everything works out, shes not worth it.

 

[kabuki_KILLER]

I agree that it would be stupid to have to put up with her crap on your day. If you all agreed on everyone pitching in that 90 bucks and she didn't bring it, then it's her lack of keeping a promise. Some friends can just be negative.

For me, personally, I'd ask her to step down from being a bridesmaid, although not uninvite her from the wedding. That is, if you still trust her to not trash it. Sometimes friendships seem to end for really stupid reasons as a fact of life. It's not your fault. I don't think you'd be losing anything. There are plenty of funny and awesome girls out there that will at least try to suck it up for you if it means that much to you.

 

[hello_my_apple]

so after talking to her, she basically said i was changing and get this, she said i was acting like " the wedding was all about me". so i asked her well who else is it supposed to be about? lol. so when we got down to the nitty gritty and we got passed the bull shit, she's basically upset that i didnt ask her to be my MOH. I knew this might be an issue thats why i just asked a close cousin of mine to be the MOH because i havent spoken to my twin sister in over 2 years. so we went back and forth for about two hours and she told me she would try to be more supportive to me and the other girls. When i got home i thought about it more and my fiance's sister in law is a size smaller than her so i called her and told her she can to the wedding as a guest with her SO but i didnt want her in my wedding party. She toldme to shove my uppity wedding up my ass and she hopes i'm never able to have kids and that Christian is going to cheat on me anyway because WHITE MEN ONLY WANT BLACK WOMEN FOR SEX (lol) so have a "nice" effing life. WHOAAAAA is what i thought, now im REALLY glad that she's not involved the way she said it makes me believe shes been feeling this way for a long time. i didnt get upset i just seriously laughed because i didnt know what else to do. WELP thats the end of that lol.

 

[paperfishies]

When i got home i thought about it more and my fiance's sister in law is a size smaller than her so i called her and told her she can to the wedding as a guest with her SO but i didnt want her in my wedding party.

I'm confused a bit. What does the sentence above mean?

 

[hello_my_apple]

when i got home i thought it over, meaning i looked at the whole situation and weighed the pros and cons and i realized that i didnt want her in the wedding, and i didnt want the dress to go to waste so i asked my soon to be sis in law to replace her because she'd be able to fit in the dress since she is just a size smaller. and i told her that she could come to the wedding but as a guest with her SO ( Sig. Other)

 

[hello_my_apple]

double post sorry!

 

[Boasorte]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple She toldme to shove my uppity wedding up my ass and she hopes i'm never able to have kids and that Christian is going to cheat on me anyway because WHITE MEN ONLY WANT BLACK WOMEN FOR SEX (lol) so have a "nice" effing life.

Sorry for the curse words ahead but :
She's a hating ass bitch, who needs to get fucking laid and OVER her jealously.
And if white men want black women only for sex then he wouldn't be marrying ur ass, I hate when ppl say dumb shit like that. I've heard that plenty of times, as a fellow black chich who dates white guys.
Fuck her!

 

[BEA2LS]

wtf?? i'm glad you got rid of her, she seems a little crazy and you do not need that kind of drama on your big day.

 

[hello_my_apple]

i know! it's like come on' people love is love where you find it. she knows what he and i go through as a interracial couple, so for her to say that to me it was like - PUNCH GUT! ouchhhh! lol. she was trying to hit below the belt.


side note- i've had friends say worse to me when we first started dating, a friend goes "i dunno how you sleep with him, doesnt his penis look uncooked, it make me wanna vomit". i was like WTF! lol. the ignorance of some people.



Quote:

Originally Posted by MsWestchesterNY Sorry for the curse words ahead but : She's a hating ass bitch, who needs to get fucking laid and OVER her jealously. And if white men want black women only for sex then he wouldn't be marrying ur ass, I hate when ppl say dumb shit like that. I've heard that plenty of times, as a fellow black chich who dates white guys. Fuck her!

 

[SakurasamaLover]

^
Wow.. how can people be so retard about ethnicity or skin color in 2010... !? Who cares who/what people love?
I could ear that kind of stuff from my grand-father maybe, but someone 40 or less.. hard to imagine.

 

[ms.marymac]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple i know! it's like come on' people love is love where you find it. she knows what he and i go through as a interracial couple, so for her to say that to me it was like - PUNCH GUT! ouchhhh! lol. she was trying to hit below the belt. side note- i've had friends say worse to me when we first started dating, a friend goes "i dunno how you sleep with him, doesnt his penis look uncooked, it make me wanna vomit". i was like WTF! lol. the ignorance of some people.

WHOOOA. You should have said "I don't know how you go about life without a brain." People can be so rude.

 

[Lauren1981]

i read one of your earlier posts about 'how could she be jealous because she's got a boyfriend' while after only reading a few sentences of your original post i felt this broad was jealous from head to toe. this is your day and she should have been honored that you even allowed her to stay in the wedding party after she basically put herself in it. she talked shit from the beginning as if this were her wedding and honestly, i think she was wishing from the beginning that this was indeed her wedding. i think you should have kicked her ass out in the beginning but i understand that it's not easy to just flat out tell someone they can't be a bridesmaid. there's no easy way of telling someone that so i see how it could have been hard,
HOWEVER
if you had told her to get her ass out, how ever you said she would have deserved it. because that bullshit she threw at you once you did ask her to leave was absolutely ridiculous and flat out cruel. she was already pissed you were getting married. probably felt like it should have been her and then she resorted to serious low blows when you kicked her out which is just indicative of how she felt about you and your wedding from day one.
she did you a huge favor by being a bitch to you because it made you finally realize what she was about. i personally feel it's an honor to be a bridesmaid. even if it's a bestfriend who i kind of figure/know will ask anyway, it's still nice. my cousin asked me to be her maid of honor for her wedding this summer and i was happy as hell.
this is your day and you don't need that bitch there. not even in the congregation. she's cursing you and your wedding and she needs to f*ck off in a corner somewhere and grow the f*ck up.
CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGMENT!! i dont know you but i wish you nothing but happiness

 

[hello_my_apple]

OH EM GEE i loved your response! you are right, i'm glad she;s not apart of it, but i really sucks that our friendship is over from it! i remember when my friend got married in 08 i was a happy jealous not a mean one. and i dont understand why she would be jealous she has a great boyfriend a beautiful child. but whatever im not going to stress about it right now, im sure when the weddings over and the dust settles and the excitment goes away i will get very mucho depressed.





Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren1981 i read one of your earlier posts about 'how could she be jealous because she's got a boyfriend' while after only reading a few sentences of your original post i felt this broad was jealous from head to toe. this is your day and she should have been honored that you even allowed her to stay in the wedding party after she basically put herself in it. she talked shit from the beginning as if this were her wedding and honestly, i think she was wishing from the beginning that this was indeed her wedding. i think you should have kicked her ass out in the beginning but i understand that it's not easy to just flat out tell someone they can't be a bridesmaid. there's no easy way of telling someone that so i see how it could have been hard, HOWEVER if you had told her to get her ass out, how ever you said she would have deserved it. because that bullshit she threw at you once you did ask her to leave was absolutely ridiculous and flat out cruel. she was already pissed you were getting married. probably felt like it should have been her and then she resorted to serious low blows when you kicked her out which is just indicative of how she felt about you and your wedding from day one. she did you a huge favor by being a bitch to you because it made you finally realize what she was about. i personally feel it's an honor to be a bridesmaid. even if it's a bestfriend who i kind of figure/know will ask anyway, it's still nice. my cousin asked me to be her maid of honor for her wedding this summer and i was happy as hell. this is your day and you don't need that bitch there. not even in the congregation. she's cursing you and your wedding and she needs to f*ck off in a corner somewhere and grow the f*ck up. CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGMENT!! i dont know you but i wish you nothing but happiness

 

[Mabelle]

woa. Bitch is crazy.

 

[DILLIGAF]

While I can understand her being hurt her words were vile and evil. I would like to think that she is somewhere regreting the words that she choose to have with you. Put this behind you and really enjoy you special day.

 

[Boasorte]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hello_my_apple i know! it's like come on' people love is love where you find it. she knows what he and i go through as a interracial couple, so for her to say that to me it was like - PUNCH GUT! ouchhhh! lol. she was trying to hit below the belt. side note- i've had friends say worse to me when we first started dating, a friend goes "i dunno how you sleep with him, doesnt his penis look uncooked, it make me wanna vomit". i was like WTF! lol. the ignorance of some people.

I've heard it all girl, *sunshine anderson voice* I heard it all before!

Do you think you'll start talking to her again?

Quote:

Originally Posted by SakurasamaLover ^ Wow.. how can people be so retard about ethnicity or skin color in 2010... !? Who cares who/what people love? I could hear that kind of stuff from my grand-father maybe, but someone 40 or less.. hard to imagine.

So true. Sometimes I think some of my friends have something to say about the whole black girl/white guy thing because they haven't experienced it, I don't think they're racist, just dumb as hell.

 

[hello_my_apple]

haha i remember that song lol. and HELL F*#cking NO!, i'm never speaking to her again, the thing that bothers me the most is that she said she wishes me infertile! HOW RUDE! and messed up

. you reap what you sow. and your own words can be like a curse to yourself. so i'm not worried.

I've heard it all girl, *sunshine anderson voice* I heard it all before!

Do you think you'll start talking to her again?

 

[SnowAngel1106]

I haven't read what everyone else said. But I will tell you, I had the SAME problem with one of my bridesmaids. :| My wedding was planned in three months, so its not like I had time to find replacements and such for her. So I left her in. And it was the WORST decision I ever made. She caused a scene at my bachelorette party, at my parents' house the night before the wedding, and at the reception. If I knew then what I know now - I would've just booted her. It is YOUR day, not hers. If you value her friendship that much - maybe sit her down and ask her WTF is up with her attitude and explain how you feel and if she doesn't give you a straight answer, or at least understand you issue, then I'd boot her!

Good luck honey!