I paid on VALENTINES !!!

[Pascal]

Ok ladies I'm offended by this... I met someone new years eve and they kept wanting to hang out with me, he said he wanted to treat me to Valentines Day and I said ok that's nice. So I am not really attracted to him, I'm not really crazy about him or anything like that, but I thought to myself I wouldn't mind his company , even on Valentines day it wasn't a date to begin with, it was just a get together with someone I had just met. Well he and I live about an hour away from each other and we thought it would be fair for both of us to meet half way, so we did just that. So the story is this: the saturday before Valentines day he was asking me if he could take me out and treat me, and I accepted. So Valentices day we decided to meet up after he got off work. While driving to meet with this f**k face he sends me a text message saying he had just opened up a new bank account, and that he was broke as a joke, and that if I cover him this time, that next time he will double treat me. I thought to myself, what a f**k face, to tell me this now while I'm on my way driving to hang out with him, well I should have turned back and went roller skating instead, but I still kept on driving to meet him. So when he got there we had to wait for our table and so he spent "his last $10.00 BUCKS ON A MARTINI". I thought that was it ya know... Well then we are seated and he orders two more drinks and something to eat and I ordered my food and I didn't drink alcohol cause I was driving back home. He ate with no ettique, he ate like a slob, he wanted to taste my food, and he made sure he was full of alcohol and food. I paid for it all. Now I must admit I feel stupid for even posting this, but I am never going to give this guy my time ever agian. He said he wanted to treat me, but I ended up treating him on f*****g Valentines day, he took advantage after he spent his "last 10 bucks" and ordered two more drinks, and after I paid for everything he asked me after we ate if I wanted to go to the movies. I looked at him like "what the f**k did you just ask me to do ?" and "who the f**k is paying for it b***h?
... I have dealt with guys like this before, I do not need to deal with guys like that ever again... I haven't hung out or been out with a guy in like 2 years so I thought maybe it's time for me to be a little more flexible and if someone asks for my number I should give it to them and maybe we can hang out and him treat me like a lady. I am not going to feel sorry for any guys anymore, because I'll ward them off by giving them my number so they will stop bugging me, but then I have to deal with the consiquences of their phone calls and drama afterwards, and the only reason I ever given a guy my number is because I felt bad for them. I use to be stronger then that, I'm not saying that I am weak but I need to stay the bitch I always was before new years eve and remember to not give out my number to certain individuals. Ladies take it from me, I've been taught that it's the man's job to treat you like the princess you are....

xoxo Darlings
Hugs and Stitches xoxo

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pascal Ok ladies I'm offended by this... I met someone new years eve and they kept wanting to hang out with me, he said he wanted to treat me to Valentines Day and I said ok that's nice. So I am not really attracted to him, I'm not really crazy about him or anything like that, but I thought to myself I wouldn't mind his company , even on Valentines day it wasn't a date to begin with, it was just a get together with someone I had just met. Well he and I live about an hour away from each other and we thought it would be fair for both of us to meet half way, so we did just that. So the story is this: the saturday before Valentines day he was asking me if he could take me out and treat me, and I accepted. So Valentices day we decided to meet up after he got off work. While driving to meet with this f**k face he sends me a text message saying he had just opened up a new bank account, and that he was broke as a joke, and that if I cover him this time, that next time he will double treat me. I thought to myself, what a f**k face, to tell me this now while I'm on my way driving to hang out with him, well I should have turned back and went roller skating instead, but I still kept on driving to meet him. So when he got there we had to wait for our table and so he spent "his last $10.00 BUCKS ON A MARTINI". I thought that was it ya know... Well then we are seated and he orders two more drinks and something to eat and I ordered my food and I didn't drink alcohol cause I was driving back home. He ate with no ettique, he ate like a slob, he wanted to taste my food, and he made sure he was full of alcohol and food. I paid for it all. Now I must admit I feel stupid for even posting this, but I am never going to give this guy my time ever agian. He said he wanted to treat me, but I ended up treating him on f*****g Valentines day, he took advantage after he spent his "last 10 bucks" and ordered two more drinks, and after I paid for everything he asked me after we ate if I wanted to go to the movies. I looked at him like "what the f**k did you just ask me to do ?" and "who the f**k is paying for it b***h? ... I have dealt with guys like this before, I do not need to deal with guys like that ever again... I haven't hung out or been out with a guy in like 2 years so I thought maybe it's time for me to be a little more flexible and if someone asks for my number I should give it to them and maybe we can hang out and him treat me like a lady. I am not going to feel sorry for any guys anymore, because I'll ward them off by giving them my number so they will stop bugging me, but then I have to deal with the consiquences of their phone calls and drama afterwards, and the only reason I ever given a guy my number is because I felt bad for them. I use to be stronger then that, I'm not saying that I am weak but I need to stay the bitch I always was before new years eve and remember to not give out my number to certain individuals. Ladies take it from me, I've been taught that it's the man's job to treat you like the princess you are.... xoxo Darlings Hugs and Stitches xoxo

I'm actually quite glad you posted this!

He sounds like a f*cking asshole. If it were me I would of turned around and went back home and spent all the money that you had spent on him and yourself just on yourself. At least you learned how to spot a moocher!

Call me old fashion but I'm the type of girl that will most likely not object to a guy pampering me whether or not I like him (I guess I'm a gold digger?

lol) as long as he's willing to do so. But I won't spend a dime on him not even a penny unless I actually feel like he deserves it. There are men out there that seriously think that taking a girl out = a bootycall. Uhh no thanks!

 

[Shimmer]

bullshit.
It's not a man's responsibility to pay just because he has a penis...anymore than it's a woman's entitlement not to pay because she has a vagina.

Chivalry is all well and good, but he warned you up front he was broke, and you went anyway. *shrug*

 

[Pascal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by X4biddenxLustX I'm actually quite glad you posted this! He sounds like a f*cking asshole. If it were me I would of turned around and went back home and spent all the money that you had spent on him and yourself just on yourself. At least you learned how to spot a moocher! Call me old fashion but I'm the type of girl that will most likely not object to a guy pampering me whether or not I like him (I guess I'm a gold digger? lol) as long as he's willing to do so. But I won't spend a dime on him not even a penny unless I actually feel like he deserves it. There are men out there that seriously think that taking a girl out = a bootycall. Uhh no thanks!

Honey please you are not a gold digger. In my culture the man shou;d always make more noney then the woman, therefore he should pay for everything. I'm old fashined and arab and proud of it honey. If he's not going to treat me like a Queen then f**k him. I mean I'm not waiting for a man to buy me a dinner or anything at all, I work and make money, but when he offers, that means he's being a man and I'll accept, but he is not getting to sleep with me just because he paid for my dinner, the way I was raised that's unheard of... and when the guy does not even have money to buy himself his meal, then he's a sorry ass loser. I will never do that again. Had I known from the beginning I wouldn't have given him my time, and any man in my presence should be honered to even walk with me. Now I know I sound like a Queen, but ladies you all should feel like Queens. The guy should be honered to be with you, not the other way around. He should be impressing you, not the other way around. I am glamorous, I like style I have good taste and if it attracts guys then good, but it doesn't mean I'm going to support a man with my lifestyle, no way babay, he needs to be supporting me with my lifestyle after he marries me baby xoxo

 

[chiquilla_loca]

that sucks, i think maybe you went along with it because you thought you were going to have a good time, but letting him order whatever he wanted, and then he didn't act like a gentleman with you.
you let yourself be the victim.
don't let people take advantage of you next time.

 

[Pascal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer bullshit. It's not a man's responsibility to pay just because he has a penis...anymore than it's a woman's entitlement not to pay because she has a vagina. Chivalry is all well and good, but he warned you up front he was broke, and you went anyway. *shrug*

Hi Shimmer I love yor honesty but he's still a jerk

 

[Pascal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chiquilla_loca that sucks, i think maybe you went along with it because you thought you were going to have a good time, but letting him order whatever he wanted, and then he didn't act like a gentleman with you. you let yourself be the victim. don't let people take advantage of you next time.

Yes thats exactly what happenned and what went through my mind, I know I need to put my bitch guard back on

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pascal Hi Shimmer I love yor honesty but he's still a jerk

Sure.
he shouldn't have proposed something w/o intentions of contributing, but you shouldn't have gone along with it knowing he couldn't pay, then complained about going along with it.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

This is sort of a sticky situation. I agree with Shimmer about responsibility to pay, but at the same time, it was VERY rude of him to order drinks and tons of food when he didn't have any money. He DID tell you that he didn't have any money though, so you did it to yourself so to speak. You could have just done something that was free or really cheap like walk around downtown and buy ice cream or something.

 

[couturesista]

ITA with Shimmer, I could see if you guys made it to the restaurant, had drinks, ate and then the check came and allof sudden.. eyes start rolling, the check gets pushed ur way and then he gets up and goes to the restroom. He told you upfront what the bizness was. Like my mom always says, " come prepared with cab fare(or ur own car) and your half ". Yeah, he's definitely not getting a second call!

 

[xxsgtigressxx]

I dont believe that the man should necessarily pay on a date, but sending you a text while you already are on your way is bullshit. Especially since he asked beforehand if he could treat you on Valentines day. He pretty much didnt give you a choice, I suppose you could have turned around but you already got ready, started driving, etc. It is rude though that he kept ordering drinks. I would have told him I wouldnt pay for him to drive home drunk so I would expect that he take it easy on the drinks and I would have made it clear that I do not like people picking from my plate. Bad manners all around on his part.

 

[Pascal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Sure. he shouldn't have proposed something w/o intentions of contributing, but you shouldn't have gone along with it knowing he couldn't pay, then complained about going along with it.

I agree but I'm venting to you all.
But I love your honesty Shimmer xoxo

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pascal Honey please you are not a gold digger. In my culture the man shou;d always make more noney then the woman, therefore he should pay for everything. I'm old fashined and arab and proud of it honey. If he's not going to treat me like a Queen then f**k him. I mean I'm not waiting for a man to buy me a dinner or anything at all, I work and make money, but when he offers, that means he's being a man and I'll accept, but he is not getting to sleep with me just because he paid for my dinner, the way I was raised that's unheard of... and when the guy does not even have money to buy himself his meal, then he's a sorry ass loser. I will never do that again. Had I known from the beginning I wouldn't have given him my time, and any man in my presence should be honered to even walk with me. Now I know I sound like a Queen, but ladies you all should feel like Queens. The guy should be honered to be with you, not the other way around. He should be impressing you, not the other way around. I am glamorous, I like style I have good taste and if it attracts guys then good, but it doesn't mean I'm going to support a man with my lifestyle, no way babay, he needs to be supporting me with my lifestyle after he marries me baby xoxo

OH. HELL. NO.

You cannot possibly be a queen if you are expecting men to act as your servant. What is a queen without her equal? Not a damn thing.

 

[TISH1124]

When he made it clear that he did not have any money...I would have made it clear that he needs to order what he can afford to pay for and you will order what you can afford to pay for. It should have been a dutch date if you did not want to pay for his stuff and made clear from the beginning...Look No Money dude, Don't order more than you can afford to pay for because I am ONLY paying for myself. When the waiter/waitress took the order from the beginning I would have made it clear that these are seperate checks....And yes he was a jerk....But somehow not too stupid to not get his eat and drink on at your expense.

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. This is sort of a sticky situation. I agree with Shimmer about responsibility to pay, but at the same time, it was VERY rude of him to order drinks and tons of food when he didn't have any money. He DID tell you that he didn't have any money though, so you did it to yourself so to speak. You could have just done something that was free or really cheap like walk around downtown and buy ice cream or something.

So if a man asks me out I should get the cheapest thing on the menu and not drink more than one drink?
Would a woman be legitimately expected to do the same if the man is paying?

 

[Pascal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 When he made it clear that he did not have any money...I would have made it clear that he needs to order what he can afford to pay for and you will order what you can afford to pay for. It should have been a dutch date if you did not want to pay for his stuff and made clear from the beginning...Look No Money dude, Don't order more than you can afford to pay for because I am ONLY paying for myself. When the waiter/waitress took the order from the beginning I would have made it clear that these are seperate checks....And yes he was a jerk....But somehow not too stupid to not get his eat and drink on at your expense.

I think your right, I think I just lost my balls and got a little shy or embarressed to say anything to him, yet he shoud be embarressed ya know ... you live an you learn

 

[Pascal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.C. head. OH. HELL. NO. You cannot possibly be a queen if you are expecting men to act as your servant. What is a queen without her equal? Not a damn thing.

Im not saying that he's a servant but in my culture he's not equal to me . It's just the way we're brought up in the middle east I guess that's where we conflict... he needs to be the man and do what is expected of a man

 

[couturesista]

Not to be on Shimmer's coattail, but again agree,if he was going to pay for you and all you had was $5 would he be wrong if he said you had a $5 min. Bottom line, he told you upfront he was broke and you still went and paid, chuck up the deuce and consider it a loss. I'm not trying to be mean, but hey it is what it is!

 

[ClaireAvril]

Shimmer is right. We have to take responsibility for our actions. It was really no ones fault but your own for allowing that SOB to take advantage of you. and I am not saying this to talk down to you.. because I have been in situations where I've been taken advatage of time and time again and I am sick of it.
Though its hard I know.. you wanted to have a good time and sometimes its hard to just say no, turn around and walk away. But that is what we need to do.. if a guy does/says something that you don't like where you feel mistreated (and there's nothing wrong with some women believing that men should pay for meals or open the door for them, that is their preference) then they need to be cut off. You're better of on your own and better friends or boyfriends will come along. If you know inside that is bothers you its up to you to say f*ck off.

 

[couturesista]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pascal Im not saying that he's a servant but in my culture he's not equal to me . It's just the way we're brought up in the middle east I guess that's where we conflict... he needs to be the man and do what is expected of a man

On that note, I won't post anymore , i'll just read