Soul Mates ---- do you believe?

[ClaireAvril]

Bonjour

I was just watching a Sex and the City Episode.. can't remember what it was called.. but here's an excerpt from it while Carrie is contemplating the idea of soul mates:

"Soul mate
Two little words, one big concept
A belief that someone, somewhere is holding the key to your heart
and your dreamhouse; all you have to do is find them
So, where is this person?
And if you loved someone and it didn’t work out does that mean they weren’t your soulmate?
Were they just a runner up contestant in this game show called happily ever after?
And as you move from age box to age box and the contestants get fewer and fewer..
Are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less?

Soul mates
Reality?
Or torture device?"

I just love SATC. Each female has their distinct values, and opinions about love and life. Watching the show really makes you start thinking about yourself and your experiences too and helps you shape what you believe. Just wish I started getting into the show sooner.

I don't know if I believe in soul mates. Like it says in the quote.. how do you know if someone is your soul mate? You can meet someone and fall head over heels in love and call them your soul mate. Then one day someone's mind could change about their partner (they cheat or fall out of love) and its over. So was that person really your soulmate? Can one person have more than one soul mate... ? Do you get only 1 great love in your lifetime?

And the age part of it.. as you get older do you believe that it will be less likely that you will find your soul mate?
I'm sure not everyone is lucky enough to find their true soul mate in their lifetime.. imagine spending your life (or adulthood) trying to find your soul mate and you never do.

So after reading that quote.. what do you think?
I would love to see the single girls' opinions about this too!

C

 

[TISH1124]

Ok....I'm not single ...damnit but I am responding.....I do believe in Soul mates...and I found mine after not believing in Soul Mates....I don't think my first husband was...But I am certain my current husband is...and he appeared in my life, late in life and when I wasn't looking or even thinking of a relationship. I still ask him all the time...How did you find me....His answer is ...I had been looking for you all my life.

Ok so yes I beleive there is a perfect someone for everyone....

 

[ClaireAvril]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 I don't think my first husband was...But I am certain my current husband is...and he appeared in my life, late in life and when I wasn't looking or even thinking of a relationship. I still ask him all the time...How did you find me....His answer is ...I had been looking for you all my life. Ok so yes I beleive there is a perfect someone for everyone....

awww
Tish that poked @ my heart!!

sorry I didn't mean to exclude people who are not single.. i really want everyone to answer and see different viewpoints!

I've always thought and I am sure have been told that real love comes to you when you're not looking - when you're not expecting it and also when you are truly deserving of it.

 

[pdtb050606]

I do believe you can love many people in your lifetime...but I also believe that there is that one true perfect love for everyone. I also met my husband by a chance encounter..we were both supposed to be somewhere else-you know the story. He is my 1 great love in this life and I believe there is someone like that for everyone

 

[Simply Elegant]

I don't believe in soul mates. I would never really be able to tell if that person was really my soul mate or not. I think as time goes on it becomes less likely to find your soul mate simply because you have less of your life to do that and because men usually do prefer younger women. I'm only 21 and single, so I still have a lot left to experience, but I think many people could be right for one person, but not necessarily a soul mate, because when I think of a soul mate, I think of that one practically perfect person to spend the rest of your life with. I think it's really hard to find that person because there are so many different dimensions to one person and while I may click on one level with that person perfectly, it doesn't mean that person is right for me. Plus people change and if you don't change with them, that person isn't really your soul mate because things will be different.

 

[MissResha]

dang tish, that got me all misty! thats so sweet. im such a sap when it comes to love. and i love hearing about other people in love. it totally makes me gush. i dont even know your hubby but he's got my vote! im so glad he makes you happy and vice versa. thats so beautiful.


i dunno if my current is my soul mate lol. he gets on my last damn nerve, but i love the crap outta him. he did come into my life at a questionable time, and he saved me from a relationship that wasn't good for me emotionally and mentally...so i dunno, i'll let you know in another year LOL

 

[iadoremac]

A firm believer

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

Im another firm beleiver of soul mates. I do beleive people can have more than 1 great love in a lifetime. Love changes and grows.. I love my husband with the bottom of my heart, but i dont know where the road will lead us 10 years from now... but right now its perfect.

The problem with this is FINDING him.

 

[ClaireAvril]

so how do you know when you find that soul mate?..or is it "you just know"
and is it worth being with someone when you know they aren't your soul mate.. or you know they aren't the one you can see yourself marrying or spending the rest of your life with.

For me.. I am sick of being with the wrong guys.. meantime guys.. I want it all.. or nothing. and I am being extremely picky.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ClaireAvril so how do you know when you find that soul mate?..or is it "you just know" and is it worth being with someone when you know they aren't your soul mate.. or you know they aren't the one you can see yourself marrying or spending the rest of your life with. For me.. I am sick of being with the wrong guys.. meantime guys.. I want it all.. or nothing. and I am being extremely picky.

..Its just one of those things.... Just like you know that those "wrong" guys are not for you, you'll know when a guy is "right" for you. With me, i did get this urge of wanting to share my life with him. It also helps when you share similiar career and family goals.. He just knows how to put a smile on my face even on the most shittest days. And on those days when im just completely out of my mind and about to go insane and hes only making it worse, he stops whatever hes doing and talks to me about it and we find a way to fix everything and make it better. Its also when you can truthfully answer, will you love and honor this man in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live? (i think that one sentence has really lost its meaning) Sorry for the corney-ness.. Relationships do take a lot of hard work that you both have to commit to..

Is it worth being with someone who you know isnt your soul mate? As in marriage? Well.. will he be ok knowing you want better?

 

[chocolategoddes]

Disclaimer: I'm a teenager and I've never been in love.

I don't believe in soulmates meaning that someone out there was made specifically for you and that you should go out and search for him/her.
I do believe that there are different levels of compatability and some people just click while other just don't and they move on.

I also don't think people should get hung up on this "soulmate" and "mr. right" bullshit. You're only limiting yourself when you put these preconceived ideas of what love should be like and what your perfect guy is supposed to act like. I'm thinking that's a big problem with a lot of females having trouble finding love. Go easy on the guy.
But that being said, it's okay to have standards and to recognize what you're into and what you're not into.

Also, you have to define what a soulmate is. Is it someone you get along with perfectly. Because I actually don't think I'd want to be in a relationship where the guy is perfect. I want a little conflict and a little drama. I want to roll my eyes once in a while when he's ticking me off and I want him to think I'm a crazy bitch sometimes. That's what tests the relationship and makes it interesting. But would that make us soulmates?

Put that shit in a fortune cookie.

 

[Lambchop]

I believe in soulmates. I met my husband when I was 12 and he was 13. It felt like when you go over a bump on a rollercoaster. My stomach just dropped. It's been 12 years and I've never met anyone else who made me feel that way. We did the long distance thing for 3 years and both hung out and dated other people. No one compared at all. Now we've been married for 6 years and have two babies and I still feel that way whenever he enters a room.

 

[TISH1124]

I don't know how I would explain a soul mate...But I know that I love just looking at my husband....and I miss him when he's gone for just a little while and if there is something wrong...I just know...he can be at work..and I will have this need to call him because I feel something is not right...and at those times he is going through something or not feeling so well..it's like I just know...And even after being together for 4 years I still wake up to see him watching me sleep.....I ask him all the time why he does that...He always says...because sometimes I think if I go to sleep I'll wake up and this is all a dream...I went through some rough things in my first marriage...God truly sent me an angel this time around....he is truly kind and wonderful...Not just to me but to everyone he meets....
I told him he would damn near be perfect if he didn't snore like a HOG!!!

 

[Zantedge]

Ok, I have nothing to add to this discussion but I thought of this when I read the thread:

YouTube - Tim Minchin - If I Didn't Have You

 

[enigmaticpheo]

I think I believe. I'm kind of in a weird stage right now. I was in a relationship that was really intense, and I still believe it was love, because it was just...different. But it definitely did not work out. So I've had love, I believe in it, (queue Cher) but I'm not rooted enough in it to declare there's a soul mate.

This is going to sound weird, but I think my non-person soulmate is dance/ballet. It's something I truly feel love and passion for, and that, through all the ups and downs, has never stopped working for me and vice versa. If I can find a man like that, I'll be good. No pointe shoes required.

ETA: There's something said in dance that reminds me a lot of my philosophy on relationships. I've had very few good teachers in my long (relatively) dancing career...the only two that I truly gained from both said the same thing to me, "MORE." They expected more of me and believed I had it to give. They were happy with and appreciated who I am, but also encouraged me to grow. Same for relationships. The dude should be happy with and appreciate me, but also compel me to grow. And likewise. Being connected enough to each other that you know when to push and when to hold back and be comforting.

In terms of finding my true love/soul mate/prince/white horse guy/straight male ballet dancer, I really leave it to fate. Not stupidly, I'll ask a guy out if I want. But I don't have an idea of what this guy looks like, speaks like, does for a living, etc. I've dated guys on both ends of the spectrum and had similar experiences. *Shrug*

 

[jenee.sum]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes Also, you have to define what a soulmate is. Is it someone you get along with perfectly. Because I actually don't think I'd want to be in a relationship where the guy is perfect. I want a little conflict and a little drama. I want to roll my eyes once in a while when he's ticking me off and I want him to think I'm a crazy bitch sometimes. That's what tests the relationship and makes it interesting. But would that make us soulmates? Put that shit in a fortune cookie.

LOL @ putting it in a fortune cookie.

here's the thing, i don't think the PERSON has be perfect. that person just has to be perfect FOR YOU. but i think a person who is perfect FOR YOU can still get on your nerves. why can't a relationship WITH conflict be one that is with your soulmate? who says you have to have a perfect relationship with your soulmate? a soulmate is someone who you can get along with "perfectly" right? but that doesn't mean the relationship that comes with it also has to be perfect. i think a healthy relationship has a balance between the good and bad. so to think your soulmate has to offer you a relationship that is perfect, stress-free, just peachy like in a perfect little world where nothing bad ever happens....well....i just don't think it's possible b/c nothing in this world is "perfect". this person may actually be "perfect" for you b/c he's the one who can provide you with that balance a healthy relationship needs. you know, like yin & yang.

my bf always says to me...."if u were just like me, we wouldn't get along" haha and it's true b/c he would never date a girl who was just like him. like some ppl say, opposites attract. and we're very different people...but we also get a long so well. so i guess we're not THAT different. at least we click. and when im with him, it just feels amazing. the chemistry is amazing; which i find essential to whether you think this person is your soulmate. he may get on my nerves, and i know i get on his nerves too, but wouldn't a PERFECT relationship be boring????? snoooooze fest.

that being said, i am too a firm believer, and i have found mine.

i also think you will only know if that person is your soulmate when you've found that special person. for me, i just knew when i fell in love with him. he made me feel...different. i just knew...don't know how else to describe it.

i hope i made sense in the beginning when responding to your comment, it's late. i need sleep, but im on here LOL

 

[Hilly]

I have many soulmates and they are called my bestest friends.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Aww this thread is cute =]

But sorry to be the party pooper but I don't believe in A soul mate. Like JUST that one person that is perfect for you and everything. I think that people can find many people throughout their lifetimes that are perfect for them and fall in love with. So I guess I believe in soul mateS?

But then again I don't think every single person has soul mates out there. I kind of think some people do while others don't. There are people who have spent their lives without finding love and getting married, etc. I think I'm one of them. I know I'm young but I seriously doubt I'll ever be with anyone just cause it just doesn't seem worth it to me. To put myself out there and to possibly get hurt. I've been in love and still am with the guy, he's an ass yet there's so much stuff that is great about him. I know we'll never be together cause he doesn't want anything like that and I don't want to get hurt anymore than I already have been.

 

[NutMeg]

I don't believe in soulmates. I think you find someone who is mostly perfect for you, and the rest you have to work at.

 

[LMD84]

i believe in soul mates... my husband is mine.

whenever i'm with him everything seems perfect, i always feel safe, loved and he understands me so well. when we took a break about 3 years ago i was super unhappy and felt like crap all the time. nothing seemed to go right and i got involved in a relationship that was abusive and now i'm deaf in one ear because of it. me and my husband got back together soon after and it was like my world was complete and back to normal again. we make each other so happy yet at the other end of the scale when we fight it feels like somebody is ripping my heart out. nobody has ever made me feel such extremes of emotion as he does.

i also love that sex and the city episode.

in fact all episodes rock!