i lost my virginity when i was 18 to my second ever boyfriend. at that time i was in love with him (3 months after beginning of relationship) and thought it was fine. it didnt hurt at all, so i guess i was kinda lucky. i think it may have been because i used tampons before already.
anyways, though back then i knew id love this guy, i was pretty sure i wouldnt spend the rest of my life with him. also id wasnt so much into the importance of your first time "hype" (dont know how to call it, sorry) but instead thought it would be something very beautiful and pleasant, and i wanted to join in the fun.
and i agree to the test driving thing. having a pleasant experiences in bed is one of the many criterias i am looking for in the man i would spend my life with, so basically it is necessary for my decision to marry a man.
other things i thought of before is the image of having your first time in your wedding night. from all the people i have spoken to, the first time was "okay" at best, "acceptable" or "unspectacular" mostly, and "embarassing" and "painful" in the worst cases. all of this i dont want in my wedding night. i want to enjoy my husband and to have a gorgeous night, not ending up crying in the bathroom afterwards, like one of my friend did, because it just didnt fulfill the high expectations. But if i want to enjoy myself, I gotta know what i like and how to do it, and i just cant do that from watching porns/sex and the city/insert other sex-educating medium, talking or phantasizing about it.
and then theres always the fear you might get a complete loser in bed.
so. after all this talk, before i get flamed: i totally understand if girls understand their virginity as something special, they want to keep for the one man theyll marry. i dont agree with them, because i wouldnt want to miss out on the fun i have/had, but its not my capacity to tell them what they should do in my opinions, as its their body and mind.
and just to give you all something to chuckle about... I am currently dating a man who doesn´t want to have sex before marriage.
*whoops* (NO im not gonna marry him. but hes a good kisser, and i am certainly enjoying that.
)