"Bro-mance"?

[chocolategoddes]

If anyone doesn't know what a bromance is, it's basically a really close friendship between two straight guys. You can google it. Tyra even did a show on it.

Now, there's this boy I like. He's funny; he's hot; he's sweet; he's got a little bad boy in him... everything I like in a guy.
My big issue is his relationship with his best friend. I think it's great that they're so close; in fact, it's actually kind of cute and makes me like him even more.
But in a way, it's holding me back from taking things further with him.
This best friend is basically his other half. They're together ALL THE TIME! They dress the same, they sleep over at each others house, they're all touchy-feely with each other, they even have matching designs shaved into their heads and plan on getting matching tattoos once they both turn 18.

It's almost to the point where they act like boyfriends without the sex (that I know off...)

The same way guys might sit on eachothers' laps or wrap their arms around each other to be silly, they'll stay sitting on eachothers laps and hugging for several minutes. They even go to the bathroom together.

I'm not at all being homophobic. If they were gay, that'd be completely fine with me. But I know they're straight. And I don't want to get into a relationship with this guy, feeling like he's going to put his bro (his bff) before his ho (me)all the time. And I also don't want to feel like I'm "stealing" him from his best friend, either.

Do you have any advice? Or have you been in a similar situation before?
What's your take on the "bromance" and "bromosexuals"? This can just be the general "Bromance thread".

Thanks!

 

[TISH1124]

Yeah...Thats been a Big thing on the "Big Brother" show for many years now the guys always form a Bromance and they usually are the last 2 standing at the end. Just two guys that like the same things and share the same interests.

I don't personally see anything wrong with it...My dh's best friend has a Bromance on him...He wants to wear everything my dh wears...etc...But they are completely straight...It's no more than two girls that are BFF's ...It's really nothing new

Wait now I re-read your post...The touchy feely part ...Not feeling that...Nor would my dh stand for that.
Now are they really young??? But their behaviour does seem to go a little to the extreemes for just a Bromance between straight guys! My gay guy friends aren't quite that touchy feely gooshy annoying with each other...Hummm

 

[burnitdown_x]

I typed a beautifully well thought out response to this thread and all of a sudden when I clicked backspace, it actually went back a page. Ugh.

To sum up was I was going to say... if it does become a bigger issue as your relationship evolves you should definitely talk to him about it. But talk to him about it in a way that won't put his friend down, you know? Just let him know that if he wants a relationship then he has to put his part aswell.

Your guy's bro-mance seems kind of overboard lol.

 

[chocolategoddes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 It's no more than two girls that are BFF's ...It's really nothing new

Trust me. It's much more than that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by burnitdown_x Your guy's bro-mance seems kind of overboard lol.

That's pretty much what I'm sayin'.

Of course, it's normal to have a really close friend and I'm not putting down their relationship at all. I just feel like it'd make things more complicated if I were to become involved with this and I don't want to get into something where I know I'll end up being jealous and I know I'll end up being annoyed by how enamored they are with each other. I just have to be honest with myself.
They are completely inseparable!
I'm all for three-ways but... c'mon.

Thanks.

 

[carandru]

Quote:

Originally Posted by burnitdown_x Your guy's bro-mance seems kind of overboard lol.

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes They're together ALL THE TIME! They dress the same, they sleep over at each others house, they're all touchy-feely with each other, they even have matching designs shaved into their heads and plan on getting matching tattoos once they both turn 18. It's almost to the point where they act like boyfriends without the sex (that I know off...) The same way guys might sit on eachothers' laps or wrap their arms around each other to be silly, they'll stay sitting on eachothers laps and hugging for several minutes. They even go to the bathroom together. I'm not at all being homophobic. If they were gay, that'd be completely fine with me. But I know they're straight. And I don't want to get into a relationship with this guy, feeling like he's going to put his bro (his bff) before his ho (me)all the time. And I also don't want to feel like I'm "stealing" him from his best friend, either.

Girlfriend.... I'm going to hold back what I really wanna say..

BUT.. how bout if it were a female "friend" and they carried on in that manner. Wouldn't you be the least bit suspicious?

Something else to consider.. I have gay and straight female friends. My lesbian friends.... who are all in SERIOUS relationships **like marriages** If I were to sit on one of the girls laps and stay there... girl please. i'd be a CUT bitch do you hear me!!

I'd sit on a girlfriends lap in high school..... but... all that touchiness now.. uh uhhhh sounds SUSPECT

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes Trust me. It's much more than that.

I agree...I re-read your posts...something is not quote right there with that...I just asked my 17 y/o Step son what he thought...He said...
Can I curse...I said go ahead...He then said...HELL NO that is not normal!!

 

[chocolategoddes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TISH1127 Wait now I re-read your post...The touchy feely part ...Not feeling that...Nor would my dh stand for that. Now are they really young??? But their behaviour does seem to go a little to the extreemes for just a Bromance between straight guys! My gay guy friends aren't quite that touchy feely gooshy annoying with each other...Hummm

They're both 17.
Their touchy-feely-ness goes beyond a pat on the back. They grab each other's junk and rub each others backs. Caress each others faces. Wrestle each other in pools of baby oil.

 

[chocolategoddes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShugAvery2001 BUT.. how bout if it were a female "friend" and they carried on in that manner. Wouldn't you be the least bit suspicious?

Good point.

 

[carandru]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes They're both 17. Their touchy-feely-ness goes beyond a pat on the back. They grab each other's junk and rub each others backs. Caress each others faces. Wrestle each other in pools of baby oil.

Girl, come on now. This clearly goes beyond suspect. Regardless of their sexual orientation, if this were any two people, you would think something was going on. I mean, really would you let someone grab your crotch and not get offended if you didn't have some types of feelings for them?

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carandru Girl, come on now. This clearly goes beyond suspect. Regardless of their sexual orientation, if this were any two people you would think something was going on. I mean, really would let somebody grab you crotch and not get offended if you didn't have some types of feelings for them?

Thats what my step son just said...He said My BF better never touch anywhere near my business..He said Hell, Daddy better not even grab my business....

 

[tricky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes They're both 17. Their touchy-feely-ness goes beyond a pat on the back. They grab each other's junk and rub each others backs. Caress each others faces. Wrestle each other in pools of baby oil.

Oh my. Wrestle each other in baby oil? Huh?? You've gotta be kidding me...

Yeah, I'd not get into a relationship with this guy. You'll end up getting hurt.

 

[ShugAvery2001]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes They're both 17. Their touchy-feely-ness goes beyond a pat on the back. They grab each other's junk and rub each others backs. Caress each others faces. Wrestle each other in pools of baby oil.

you're kidding right

 

[chocolategoddes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carandru I mean, really would you let someone grab your crotch and not get offended if you didn't have some types of feelings for them?

lol
That call it "sack-taps"
I call it "getting to second-base"

So, you're all saying I shouldn't pursue this and he's probably got something going on with his buddy?

I almost forgot to mention that I over heard some people talking about how close they are and that's actually what got me thinking about it. I knew they were BFFs but I never noticed these things until now. D:

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes They're both 17. Their touchy-feely-ness goes beyond a pat on the back. They grab each other's junk and rub each others backs. Caress each others faces. Wrestle each other in pools of baby oil.

Girl....

 

[TISH1124]

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolategoddes lol That call it "sack-taps" I call it "getting to second-base" So, you're all saying I shouldn't pursue this and he's probably got something going on with his buddy? I almost forgot to mention that I over heard some people talking about how close they are and that's actually what got me thinking about it. I knew they were BFFs but I never noticed these things until now. D:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN

 

[chocolategoddes]

I was joking about the wrestling in oil part (even though I wouldn't be surprised if they have) but everything else is true.

*sigh* this is depressing.
they would make a cute couple though. :/

 

[carandru]

I am seriously over here crying laughing. Sack Taps?!?!?!? :This so reminds me of a Boondocks episodes....I can hear Riley's voice now....

 

[ClaireAvril]

LOLOL.
Have any of them ever said.. I am not gay or I don't feel anything for the other guy?
Anyway.. i know its great for guys to be comfortable with themselves and their own sexuality - but most men who are straight wouldn't even think of being that close to another guy.
From what I have read from you it seems as though they are gay.
I would move on. The good ones are always gay anyway right!

 

[ShugAvery2001]

have you ever heard of that certain 6th sense called a Gaydar????

Keep this in mind. Most people are never honest about their sexuality assume that all men are to some degree bisexual and proceed with caution. I think it was Kinsey that said that 50% of all men had gay experiences at some point in their life. Just practice safe sex. If you're at the age where you're dealing with 17 year olds hell most dudes aren't ready for a commitment at that point sexual orientation aside.
I tell my 16 year old not to worry about getting serious with any dude right now. Although she does have a boyfriend. If she came home and told me the situation you just described I'd look at her like she was crazy and lovingly tell her 'Baby ... dude gay. keep it moving!'