Im really lost and i need advice. someone... pls help

[xxainixx]

edit(nov 09)-HURRY TO PAGE 4! xD




alright. lets start.

it all began here .

http://specktra.net/f262/i-really-ne...dvance-100984/

Im SO stupid for not listening to the advices given out. but let's fast forward 1mth after that. we were together as a couple.

fast forward to about 4-5 mth later which is now. IM CONFUSED.
some of you are right. a relationship built on lies are not reliable.

but this 4-5 mth rolled about blissfully nothing major happened.


it;s just that, every single time there is an argument, he WONT GIVE IN. i always believe a relationship is about gives and takes.

and yes, he's pretty abusive(physically) but it's mild. he doesnt hit me too badly but over the months, it's about 3 times MAX. the thing is, his mum talked to me about it and said that he DOES hit ALL of his ex-girlfriends. and some have left him because of this. ( his mum likes to exaggerate things ) but when i asked him, he said, nope. i didnt, i just could not control myself sometimes with you.


he's really conceited, and sexist, always believeing women are the weaker sex.

it's just that, these few days, im really depressed. im not sure of the reason. it just.... came. i started suspecting this and that. im getting paranoid.


there are pros and cons regarding him. i've just listed out the cons.

sorry the story is in bits and pieces, im really mentally exhausted. there's no one i can turn to except here, where i've seen there are lots of wonderful helpful people...

 

[Zoffe]

Please don't stay with someone who hits you!

He doesn't deserve you if treats you like that

No matter if it's "only" 3 times!

 

[iadoremac]

He hits you???? Are you serious???? I dont care if he hits you once a month or once in 10 years he should not hit you and you must not under any circumstance tolerate it. I dont care if you love him........you need to leave before he kills you WTF

 

[TRASHdecor]

please love and respect yourself enough to not be with someone who hits you. its about what you deserve not what you think you want sometimes.
pleasee get out.

 

[elegant-one]

" and yes, he's pretty abusive(physically) but it's mild."

Honey...there is NO such thing as MILD abuse!

Really, run away as fast as you can. Honestly, there are plenty of decent men who would treat you properly. You have to value yourself enough to get away.

 

[ab5inth7]

i do not know what your situation is like in everyday life.
but if someone hits you once, he will hit you again.
and again.
and again.
im sure you deserve more than that!

 

[florabundance]

I'm so sorry you're going through such a terrible thing. But don't ever think it's your fault, or consider yourself the guilty party because you "should have" listened to advice. You can never be faulted for listening to your heart. But now listen to your head and leave him.

And personally, every single one of his "pros" are erased the moment he abuses you.

 

[Willa]

Quote:

Originally Posted by xxainixx he's pretty abusive(physically) but it's mild. he doesnt hit me too badly .

Hmm... Hello?

FLUSH AWAY
Run for your life

 

[AdlersMommy22]

get the HELL out of that relationship. Read back what you wrote in here- and then pretend like its someone else... not you.. writing it. What would you tell that girl?

Im sure your a smart girl... and you need to get the freaking hell out of that relationship NOW

 

[Lauren1981]

okay seriously??!!! i think you already know what it is you need to do. "mild abuse"??? i've never heard of that. either he abuses you or he doesn't but you are clearly being abused not only physically but metally and emotionally. he's playing with your emotions. who cares what his mom says. it's what he says and what he does that you should be paying attention to.
i don't want to sound harsh but the best thing for you to do is to just walk away. this is clearly unhealthy and not going anywhere good. he's an asshole and you are letting yourself be a victim to him.

i would just get out as soon as possible......

 

[bgajon]

Please, please take in the advice everyone has given. GET OUT NOW!!! You are in real danger and your self esteem will only be lower staying with a person like you describe your SO. So please, please get out of harms way and try to reach out for professional help so you can get back your self esteem and heal from everything that's happened to you. Lots of hugs

 

[jdepp_84]

Leave! I know its hard and its one of the hardest things to do, but you need to stand up for yourself and tell him you are not going to take it. Dont justify him hitting you, you are better than that. Him hitting you 3 times a month is not good enough, 0 times hitting you a month is what you should expect from him, from anyone. Dont tolerate him hitting you.....you can find someone else that wont hit you and wont treat you bad......I know you will find it hard to leave, but trust me, in the long run you will see it is the best thing you could have done for youself.

 

[Darkness]

All the girls have given you the best advise on here, and that is to get out of the relationship.

When we are in love it's very hard to let go of that person, but it will be the best choice for you to make. You don't deserve to be treated like this, no one does. It doesn't matter if he hits you 'mildly' three times a month, he shouldn't be hitting you at all. Eventually it will become more frequent and perhaps more violent.

You said you are feeling depressed and you don't know why. Your self-esteem and confidence are being slowly eroded by his behaviour, which is what he wants. Men like this want power and control, it is he who is very weak.

Try to look up some articles on the internet about emotional and physical abuse that will help you to see what you’re going through. Also, if you can contact any women’s groups that might be in your area which deal with domestic violence, they will be able to help you.

I do hope you make the right choice and get away from this guy.

 

[Shimmer]

He. Hits. You.

There's no reason to stay in the relationship beyond that.

 

[Stephy171]

When i hear things like this it really upsets me! a very close friend of mine was abused and this is how it started not bad at first but then it just kept getting worse! eventually she ended up in the hospital and still didnt learn she went right back to him.... i know how hard it may be but i dont believe this is love you shouldnt subject to someone who only belittles you and dosent respect you because if he did he wouldnt lay one finger on you to harm you... i just learned ith my friend that she wont listen to anyone she'll just have to learn on her own and hopefully its not to late!!
WOMEN ARE STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL..... YOU SHOULD NOT BE GOING TTHROUGH THIS.... THE WORLD IS SO BROAD AND THERE ARE MANY THINGS WAITING FOR YOU OUT THERE... TAKE ADVANTAGE AND DONT LET THE SCUM OF THE EARTH HOLD YOU DOWN!!

sorry for ranting of if anyone is offended by what i said im just vERY passionate about these things

 

[Shaquille]

it's very good that at least you turn to forum, talk about this. The next step is completely yours. We can just give you advice. Most of the people here are voicing the same words: "LEAVE HIM!"

Ask yourself:
"Why are you still with him?"
"Do you like the way he's treating you?"

 

[MACLovin]

Ok just reading the previous thread you posted along with this one.. Wow. I don't know what good it's going to do telling you this, because you seem like you're blinded by what you think is love.. but he sounds like a Grade-A Douchebag who doesn't deserve you, and you should definitely kick him to the curb immediately.

You need to seriously step back and look at your situation, and think about what you want for yourself. Do you want to be used, abused, and treated like shit? I know it will be hard to leave him but you have to do it, and ASAP!

Think about how you started out.. you had to basically beg him to call you his girlfriend. And even now, are you so sure he's not cheating on you with some girl he'll just leave you for when he gets bored of you?

No one can force you to do anything, but I really hope you wake up and realize what he's doing to you and get the HELL out of there. There is NO excuse for him to lay a hand on you at all. It's never okay. Please get some help from a trusted friend or family member. There is always a way out, you don't have to feel like you're trapped. You will be so much better off without that scumbag.

 

[FiestyFemme]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer He. Hits. You. There's no reason to stay in the relationship beyond that.

For real.
I think most people gather very quickly from me that I wouldn't tolerate abuse of any kind, but you'd better believe if someone hit me, it would only be one time. Because after that, I'd be out. Nobody hits me... no one. I don't believe that anyone who hits you loves you, and they most definitely do not respect you.
You deserve so much better! He's been playing you from day 1, so why do you stay? I know it's hard to walk away when you're in love, but really, if he loved you, he wouldn't be abusing you.
Please walk away.

 

[chaffsters33]

i'm so sorry that you are stuck in this type of situation. all of us here just want to help you because there is no such thing as "mild physical abuse" abuse is abuse is abuse. Don't stand for it. If you end up having kids with this man, or even kids in general, do you want to have to explain the scars and bruises to them?
Even his mother sounds crazy. She was telling you that he BEAT all of his girlfriends! Take a page from the women who already left him and run. If he is threatening that if you leave him he'll find you or hurt you in anyway just know that there are so many places you could go and people who could help you.
By staying in this relationship you are losing self respect. you seem like a strong, intelligent woman, just dont make stupid mistakes.
Good luck.

 

[blindpassion]

In your mind there shouldnt even be options.

He abuses you.

You have to leave, and you have to do it now, because abuse doesnt just stop, abuse gets worse, and it will go from three times in three months to three times a month to three times a week to everyday.

Run, get out while you can.
I was assaulted and strangelled by an ex because I didnt pay attention to any of the red flags leading up to the abuse.
Get out.